But
forever
, with just the one woman, was a long, long time, and he didn’t know if he had it in him to love her forever. He took courage and hope from his twin. He noted and approved of the change in Anthony. The most infamous rake in society was now content and very much in love with his wife, and they had had a child to seal their bliss. Anthony’s affections had not waned. However, Anthony was so different from him most didn’t even pick them as brothers, let alone twins.
He walked slowly into his house. At least he had an excuse for some time alone due the need to head to Newmarket for a few days. Perhaps he would understand his heart by then. All he knew for sure was that Madeline was his wife, and would always be
his, forever.
Surely, he’d not feel so possessive of her if he didn’t want the forever?
Miss Madeline Strathmore,
Thank you for the wonderful birthday gift. The handkerchief is always in my pocket and has come in very handy already. My initials are perfectly embroidered; your needlework is indeed very fine. However, I can’t imagine you sitting still long enough to complete the task. I’m honored at such a sacrifice.
You’ll have to forgive my twin. He, like you, has not had an easy upbringing. I suspect my brother is right. It is not the done thing for a bachelor to correspond directly with a young lady. If you are concerned, I will not be offended if you decide I am too much of a risk to your reputation.
Your friend,
The Honorable Mr. Craven.
The dawn didn’t see Maddy’s mood improve. Richard had not come to her bed last night, and she refused to be the first to offer an olive branch. He had to discuss his feelings with her if they were to be more than friends.
Friends
-she was beginning to hate the word. Her husband’s silence was ominous. He obviously still had feelings for Sarah and didn’t want to hurt her by discussing them.
She couldn’t stop the gnawing fear churning in her stomach. She lay in bed staring at the ceiling; furious that yesterday had started out with such promise, but had ended with silence and secrets.
A ride on Woodstock would help clear the worry from her mind and since Richard did not appear to want her company, there was no point staying in bed waiting for him to have the decency to face her.
With her groom accompanying her, she made for Hyde Park. The ride did lift her spirits, and for at least half an hour she gave Woodstock a good canter and enjoyed the quiet of the early afternoon. She then decided to ride down toward the pond and sit in quiet contemplation while Woodstock grazed.
What she should do about Richard was of course foremost in her mind. Should she push him to declare his feelings? What if she didn’t like what she heard? Could she stay sharing his bed if he wanted another? She knew this marriage would be difficult, but she’d had so much hope.
The sun glinted off the surface of Serpentine Lake, and as the light sparkled across the wide stretches of grass, the leaves appeared like hung jewels on the trees lining the path. The park was filled with nannies supervising their young charges, and rambunctious boys frolicking with their dogs, but soon the park would become quiet and there would only be dedicated riders about. She liked the idea of being alone. No sooner had Madeline entertained that thought, than she spied a horseman cantering toward her.
Bother.
It was Mr. Hindsworth.
What a terrible person you are, the man saved you.
She straightened abruptly in her sidesaddle and forced the annoyance from her face. She didn’t really wish to have a conversation with anyone this morning. He would ask after her and remind her of her foolishness in Lady Pillsborough’s garden. He would wonder why Richard had not sought retribution. He’d take it as another sign of her husband’s low regard for her.
When he reached her, Mr. Hindsworth slowed to a halt and gave a polite bow. He looked splendid in his exquisitely tailored black coat and buff breeches, which were tucked into gleaming top boots, making him quite the picture of a fashionable gentleman. He really was a handsome young man. Her eyes traveled over him. He was broad-shouldered, not overly tall, with his position on his stallion giving him the appearance of height. He had the lean physique of a young man not yet filled out. Despite his polite interest and elegant clothing, just as on the night he had saved her, she noted that there was something infinitely hard and cold, almost predatory about him, which he tried to hide under his deceptively angelic countenance.
“Good morning, Mrs. Craven. I’m pleased to see you’ve recovered from the terrible indignities you suffered the other night.”
She smiled. “Yes, I do owe you my sincere thanks. I’m trying to forget the unfortunate incidence. I’ll stick to well-lit ballrooms in future.”
He looked around him. “I notice you are not with your husband this morning, is that wise after what happened?”
“I have my groom with me,” and she pointed behind her.
“Your husband has not accompanied you?” She hated the pity in his eyes.
“No. He has business to attend to this morning." Madeline felt her face flush. She knew exactly what Mr. Hindsworth was thinking. Richard was allowing her to ride in the park without him, when she’d just been assaulted by Chesterton said a lot for how he must view their marriage.
But not by even a mere a flicker of an eyelash did Mr. Hindsworth imply the true meaning behind his words. “I hope everything is all right. You know if you ever need a friend, I’m here for you to talk to. I know what is like to pine after something that you can never have.”
She sat up straighter on her horse. “Mr. Hindsworth, I think you have forgotten yourself.”
“I did not mean to offend you, my lady. Shall we talk of pleasanter things then?”
“My husband mentioned that he had not had the good fortune of meeting you. Are you new to town?”
Mr. Hindsworth nodded. “Yes, I’m recently from Spain. I’m in London to pursue personal and family interests. I’ve taken the lease on a townhouse in Mayfair.”
“How long will you be staying in town?”
He hesitated before answering. “I’m hoping not for long.”
“And then you’ll return to Spain?”
He leaned down and patted his horse’s neck as if avoiding her stare. “I’m not sure. We shall see after my business is concluded.”
“It sounds all very mysterious.” They sat in silence until Maddy looked round. “I do believe we are causing quite a stir in the park.”
She looked over his head and saw members of the
ton
watching the pair together. He was a bachelor, young and handsome, while she was the newly married wife of a man who appeared to be in love with another. She knew very well what was going on within the heads of those who were glancing their way.
“Mr. Hindsworth, people are watching. The gossip mill is beginning to wonder what our relationship is, or making it as they wish.”
“They are not to know I’m in mourning still and always will be. But perhaps you are correct; it wouldn’t do to have people talk about us.”
With a polite bow, he turned his horse around and rode away, leaving Madeline to face the stares of the crowd around her. Blast, she thought to herself, this is all I need. As if she hadn’t been fodder enough for society gossip already, now they would be talking about her newly blossoming relationship with Mr. Hindsworth.
Her back straightened and her head lifted. She loathed how everyone watched her every move. It made her feel like she was a young girl again living under the shame of her father’s treason. She couldn’t wait to be able to return to Richard’s country Manor House near Portsmouth. He had a small estate on the cliffs overlooking the harbor, close to his ships. The quiet life in Hampshire, with their future children, couldn’t come soon enough for her.
Madeline remained in the park far longer than usual, but had to leave in order to get ready for Wrentham’s memorial service. The funeral had been the day before. As she headed for home, she hoped she had stayed long enough for those looking on to assume she hadn’t organized a liaison with Mr. Hindsworth. Not only that, her stomach was full of butterflies as she wondered how this evening’s dinner at Anthony’s was going to go.
Tonight she would have to sit in the same room as her husband’s ex-lover.
#
For most of Lord Wrentham’s memorial service, she found herself watching Sarah. The widow sat in dignified grief, a tragic actress worthy of her stage. From all appearances, she gave a convincing impression that she was a grief-stricken and devoted wife who was missing her husband.
Richard spent the formal service looking everywhere
but
at Sarah. The stupid man didn’t realize that the gossips in attendance had noticed him avoiding Sarah, and his wish to halt any curiosity worked about as well as a teapot without a spout. Malicious sniggers and titters began rippling through the crowd.
After the service, they waited with everyone else to offer their condolences. With Richard by her side, they greeted Sarah. Madeline could have been invisible. Sarah only had eyes for Richard, holding his hand longer than was necessary, making them once again the center of attention.
Madeline’s stomach rioted, as churning emotions clawed in her gut as she struggled to think of something appropriate to say to break the silence during the carriage drive home.
It was Richard who spoke first. “That went better than I hoped. I believe we quelled any rumors.”
Maddy’s mouth dropped open. Was the man blind as well as stupid? “Oh, yes. Your staunch
I won’t look at Sarah
wasn’t noted at all.”
He gave a puzzled frown at her sarcastic reply. “I didn’t wish to draw attention.”
“Give me strength,” she muttered under her breath while throwing her hands up in the air. “They
all
noticed you not looking, silly. You
fed
the gossip. You should have greeted her naturally because society knows she’s staying with your brother.”
“Really? Damn. Might be the perfect time to head to Newmarket and start finding some answers then. It will allow the talk to die down. If I leave London now, I can hardly be having an affair….”
Madeline fumed.
You’ll be leaving me too, your new bride.
Once again, people will talk. Worse still, she’d have to go and have dinner with Sarah. She’d have to sit and make pleasant conversation with her husband’s past lover.
“Fabulous. More talk. Husband leaves just as his wife and paramour sit down for a ‘civilized’ dinner.”
“You’re chewing your bottom lip. I know it will be awkward for you.”
“
Awkward?
How would you feel having to sit and chat with my past lover?”
She saw Richard’s jaw tic. Good. He needed to think about that scenario for a moment.
“You don’t have any past lovers and there will be no other man but me.”
She really tried not to smile at his obvious jealousy. “Now you know how I feel. If she even mentions you, I’ll want to scratch her eyes out.”
The only small thanks were Richard would now not be at the dinner too. She couldn’t bear to sit and listen to their polite conversation, constantly wondering what he was thinking and wishing.
“I’m a man. You’re bound to have to converse with some of my previous lovers at some stage. You know I was no saint.”
“ But not converse with a woman who is still in love with you.”
“Sarah’s not in love with me, she’s just scared. She thinks she needs me, that’s all.”
Maddy looked away in disgust. Richard was either in denial, or gullible if he believed that. The way Sarah watched him, smiled at him worshipped him with her eyes…was… utterly obvious.
Now was the time for her to be brave. Turning to face her husband who sat across from her looking out the carriage window, in fact, looking anywhere but at her, she asked, “And what of you? Are you still in love with her? That would seem to be the more important question.”
Richard turned to look at her. He ran his hands through his hair and Madeline almost prayed she’d go deaf. “No. I’m not in love with her.” Yet Richard’s eyes were full of panic. What did he not want her to know?
“I believe you.” The panicked gaze eased at her words.
Ask him. Ask him now. Do you love me?
But she couldn’t articulate this fundamental question. She was too much the coward—as usual.
Instead, they sat staring at each other; the only sounds were their breathing and the clatter of the carriage wheels over cobblestones.
Richard finally cleared his throat. “Be patient with me, Maddy. Soon Sarah’s brother will return from Italy, and we will have caught the culprit. Timothy Chesterton won’t escape. If he does, he will be a threat to Sarah’s child for the rest of its life. We have just one chance to prove his guilt.”
She didn’t care about her husband helping Sarah. She told herself to ignore the stabs of jealousy. She admired Richard’s desire to help others. That’s the kind of man he was, always helping unfortunates. Maddy would never have met him but for his desire to save her from the Chesterton siblings when she was only thirteen. She knew what it meant to have this man as a friend. She knew Sarah didn’t want to lose that.
The carriage pulled up in front of the house.
She said softly, “I don’t think it’s the situation with Sarah that you’re asking me to be patient with. When you know your heart, I’m sure you’ll tell me. Either way, I deserve to know the truth about the way you feel about me. That’s the only way we can remain friends.” She smiled as the footman opened the door of the carriage. She gave him her hand to help her step down. She looked over her shoulder at the man she loved with all her heart. “When you know if you want our relationship to be more than a friendship, I’ll be waiting.
Richard left immediately for Rufus’s house without anything more than a brief goodbye. The two men were riding down to Newmarket that night.
As Maddy dressed for the evening, she had several small glasses of champagne to fortify herself and steady her nerves. She would be the picture of confidence and maturity at dinner tonight, even if it killed her…