Authors: Hans Fallada
There she sat on the cellar stairs knowing she could not force the door open, and knowing that, because of it, Erich might be plunged into disaster, perhaps even hang himself. But she would call neither Otto nor a locksmith. She could not change her nature.
She tried to visualize the cellar, whether it contained hooks and ropes, and whether the ceiling was high enough ⦠Then she remembered reading of someone who had hanged himself on a door handle, and that the tongue of a hanged man protrudes purple
and swollen from his mouth and that they are supposed to mess their trousers ⦠Overcome by fright she jumped up, shouting and beating on the cellar door. âDon't do it, Erich. Don't do it, for your mother's sake!'
What she did wasn't conscious. She didn't even hear what she cried out. But her martyred heart suffered, and she danced a kind of grotesque dance of pain. And when Otto and Rabause in alarm rushed down the stairs, demanding anxiously: âWhat's the matter?' she pointed and screamed: âHe's hanging himself, he's hanging himself!'
Oh, but life is so complicated! If Frau Auguste had been a little more aware of what she was doing, more alert and intelligent, one might have thought she was acting like this so that the men should break open the cellar door and allow her to reach her goal and not founder on a mere lock. For her weeping and panic prevented all questioning. Without a word the men worked away at the lock while she stood beside them moaning and imploring: âBe quick, he's doing it now!'
But Frau Auguste Hackendahl was not clever enough to contrive and carry out such a plan. She was genuinely terrified, genuinely in fear, and she herself was the most surprised of all when she saw, after the second door had been prised open, Erich sitting calmly on his box eating his hunk of bread.
âI thought â¦' she stammered, and said no more.
No. No more hanging. But because she had inadvertently achieved her aim, she was overcome by a feeling of happiness. She leaned against the door, looked at her son through half-closed eyes and murmured, âIt's all right, Erich.'
The three liberators looked at the prisoner. Seeing him so calm, they felt almost ashamed of their agitation.
âYou're marvellously brave, you three,' said Erich, rising and stretching. âYou, Otto, the model son! Father'll be very upset indeed. And old honest Rabause! Well, Father will sack you at once. And Mother â well, Mother â¦' But at this even he, so cold-blooded, felt a little ashamed.
All were silent. (It is curious. This seventeen-year-old wretch behaves as if he's had far more experience of life than any of you â as
if he's the eldest and not the youngest. And they all accept it!) âWell, and what have you got for the prodigal son?' began Erich again. âOr has Father already gone to fetch the fatted calf for the merry feast?'
Rabause was the first to have enough of it. âThere's no time to lose, Erich; the chief will be back any minute. And I know who'll come down a peg or two then,' and he went.
Erich gave a forced laugh. âWell, Mother, what's to be done? You haven't been so silly, surely, as to get me out without having something ready â money, clothes?'
They were both silent. Yes, they had been so silly. They had completely disregarded their brother Erich's cold-bloodedness.
âMother thought you were doing yourself in,' muttered Otto.
Erich was dumbfounded. âDoing myself in? But why? Because of this nonsense? Because of a few minutes in a cellar and eighty marks? You're loony!'
âNot because of the eighty marks,' said Otto.
âOh, you mean the dishonour and disgrace and so on. What does Father's honour and disgrace matter to me? Nothing! I have my own views about honour; what I mean is, I don't acknowledge dishonour. If one's a progressive â¦'
Nevertheless he became a little confused in spite of his youthful self-assurance and therefore looked angrily at them. âSo you've got hold of nothing for me? All right, I'll have to look after myself â as usual.' And he passed them by without another word and went upstairs.
Mother and son glanced at each other, then looked away like conspirators plagued by guilt. Sitting down on the box, she picked up the rest of the bread and, as if to console herself for her defeat, remarked: âNow he won't have to eat dry bread.' But as she said it another and very distressing thought occurred to her, extinguishing every spark of consolation. âAnd what will he do now?' she faltered.
Otto shrugged, perhaps entertaining the same thought as his mother. He looked at the ceiling, as if he could see through it, up into the house.
âSuppose he goes on stealing?'
Otto made no reply.
She sighed heavily. Now that her son was free again her mood changed; he would have to look after himself. It was time to be
thinking of her husband. âHe mustn't,' she said. âFather has his troubles too.'
Otto nodded.
âPlease go upstairs, Otto. Stand in front of the door and don't let Erich in. Tell him I'll give him ten marks, no, nine â Eva took one for the herrings ⦠With nine marks he can live three days. Tell him that, Otto, and by then I'll get some more money from Father.'
âI've got seven marks.'
âGood, give him them too. Tell him to let me know where he's staying. I'll send Heinz with money now and then. Tell him that, Ottchen.'
âYes, Mother.'
âAnd, Otto,' she called after him, âask him to come down and say goodbye to me. I can't come upstairs this moment, my knees feel weak with the excitement. Don't forget to tell him. He
must
say goodbye to me. I'm his mother, I got him out of here.'
Otto nodded and went obediently. Otto was the family beast of burden, the one ordered about and scolded, and nobody cared what he thought or felt. His mother was holding Erich's bread. It was good bread. Slowly, with enjoyment, she started to eat it. The chewing, the nourishing flavour, the assimilation of food did her good. The last remains of her excitement passed. She ate, ergo she lived. She no longer thought about the argument which might break out among the brothers upstairs. And she didn't think, either, about the coming conflict with her husband. She ate, she lived.
But, before she had quite finished, Otto returned. She couldn't read his message from his face.
âWell,' she asked, chewing. âWhere's Erich?'
âGone!'
âDidn't you tell him to say goodbye to me? I particularly asked you.'
âHe'd already gone when I went upstairs.'
âAnd â do tell me, Ottchen â what about Father's room?'
âEverything's all right, Mother.'
âThank God.' She was relieved. âI always said that Erich was sometimes inconsiderate but never wicked. No, our Erich isn't wicked.' She waited for confirmation from Otto but that was too much to
expect. He spoke at last, however. âBut he's smashed the lamp in the girls' bedroom.'
She was astonished. âWhy should Erich have smashed it? Don't be silly, Ottchen. Doris did that, obviously, when she was cleaning up, but never mind, I'll deduct it from her wages on the first.'
âHeinz told us Eva kept her savings in the counterweight of the lamp.'
âHeinz? How does Heinz know? In the weight? You can't keep anything in that.'
âThe weight's hollow. It can be unscrewed.'
âBut â¦' Still she did not understand. âWhy did he break the lamp?'
âI have to take the horses to the blacksmith's,' said Otto. âErich has taken Eva's money and while he was about it the lamp must have come down and smashed.'
âI'll give it back to Eva,' cried his mother. âEva can't have had much, a few pence out of the household money! There's no need to make a row, tell her that immediately, Ottchen.'
âI must take the horses to the smithy, Mother. And Eva had over two hundred marks, so Heinz said â¦'
With that Otto went.
Eva had not been in a hurry about the fresh herrings. Past the Schloss, where people were standing in large groups waiting for the Kaiser, she had dawdled along enjoying the fine June morning ⦠Fools, decided Eva. Why, the Imperial standard wasn't to be seen; His Majesty was on a cruise in the North Sea â people could stand there till they took root!
Passing down Unter den Linden, she turned into the Friedrichstrasse and sauntered on till she came to Wertheim's Stores. Eva had only the one mark with her, so she had no intention of buying anything there, but she went in and looked round nonetheless. Her eyes shone. This abundance of silk and velvet, this great wealth, intoxicated her. Up and down stairs she went, as her fancy took her. It was
all the same whether she looked at dresses or china, at Thermos flasks or hats; she wasn't so much carried away by the sight of any one object as by the profusion and rich magnificence â seven hundred pictures, hundreds of china services.
Finally she wandered into less crowded regions, into the dimly lit Jewellery Department where the contents of showcases gleamed and sparkled. Catching her breath, she leaned over them. The glimmer of gold, the green and blue flashes of diamonds â oh, to possess such things! Rows of gold watches of delicate workmanship â and so tiny! Slender rings set with a single stone larger than a pea, and trays of silver â you could almost see how heavy they were. And she, with all her cunning, could only make twenty pfennigs at the most on the herrings. She sighed.
âWell, Miss,' said an impudent voice at her elbow. âNice stuff, what?'
She looked up with the rebuff instinctive to every girl in a large city when unexpectedly accosted. But at once she became uncertain. The young man with the black moustache standing beside her might be a salesman. He wore neither straw hat nor panama, and in 1914 all men wore a hat or at least carried one. âI'm not buying,' she said distantly.
âWhat's the matter?' asked the young man in his impudent voice, which repelled her but not altogether unpleasantly. âCosts nix to look and you get a kick out of it. Miss,' he went on persuasively, âtell yourself I'm fat old Wertheim â course he's fat â and you're my intended. An' I say ter you: “Choose, my darlin', choose your heart's desire.” What'd you choose then, me dear?'
âWhat's the matter with you?' said Eva. âHow dare you speak to me?'
âBut, Miss, I told you I'm fat Wertheim an' you're me young lady. I've got to talk to me young lady.'
âYou must have drunk a lot of ginger beer to be gassing so much. What's upset you?'
âMe, upset? Not on your life. It's the others who'll be that. Well, Miss, what about some sparklers, a diamond necklace with a pendant and a diamond clasp?'
âThat's for some old trout,' said Eva, amused, although she sensed
there was something odd about this young man. âNo, I'd like a diamond ring like that one in the case there.' She walked past a salesman who, since it was clear that these two were not going to buy anything, was inspecting his fingers in a bored way. âSee, a ring like that â¦'
âQuite nice,' agreed the young man patronizingly. âBut, Miss, if you was my young lady I'd give you something better than that rubbish.'
âYes, you would,' laughed Eva. âAnd you'd have to pay a fortune for it.'
âOh, would I? Lemme tell you, Miss, you know nothin' about diamonds. That stone's a dud, it's paste. Get me?'
âDon't talk rot!'
âI'll show you the real goods, Miss. Look here, those are genuine in that case there. Look at this one, the yellow one I mean. When you look at it from the side it turns red. That's seven carats all right and flawless! And this one here.'
âDon't get so het up about them,' said Eva teasingly, but impressed by the young man's enthusiasm.
âAnd that one â Lord, Miss, if you an' me could get our claws on what's in this case â¦'
âBut we can't. And we won't either.'
âDon't be so sure of that, Miss. Things turn out quite diff'rent sometimes ⦠You've got a nice shoppin' bag, holds quite a lot, I see. And if you have to make a dash for it, you make it as hard as you can â¦'
âWhat are you talking about?' asked Eva suspiciously. âI believe you're tight.'
âYou see that salesman, Miss,' asked the man quite hoarse with excitement. âHe'll drop off in a mo. Take a peep at the clock over his head. What's the time by it? My peepers are a bit weak. No, plant yourself here if you want to see the clock â¦'
His excitement was infectious. Almost against her will Eva placed herself as he told her. Actually she couldn't see the clock very well and had to strain her eyes ⦠There was a crash and a clatter nearby. She saw the salesman start and she too swung round â¦
âRun, girl, run!' cried the hoarse voice beside her â¦
As in a dream she saw the smashed showcase, the hand clutching the jewellery.
âRun, you fool!' and the young man pushed her against the advancing salesman, who tried to grab her. Without realizing what she was doing she hit out at him and ran. Other people rushed up, she dodged round a showcase, stumbled up five or six steps, threw open a swing door â¦
Behind her voices were shouting: âStop thief!'
A bell shrilled.
She was in the crowded Food Department. Startled faces regarded her and somebody tried to seize her, but she evaded him, pushed behind a fat woman, found herself in another corridor and ran behind a stack of tinned goods. Here there was a staircase. She pushed the door open and hurried downstairs â one floor, two floors, lower â¦
She stood still and listened. Were they coming? Was she being pursued? Why had she run away? She hadn't done anything. That loathsome fellow â what impudence to use her of all people as a screen. The thief! If ever she saw him again she'd scream, attract a crowd, and the policeman would handcuff him; then she'd laugh in his impertinent face. To involve her, an innocent girl, in this dirty business! It was unheard of.