The truth was, no one could predict what would happen next. No one knew for sure how long it would take Pete to reach the king’s realm. No one even knew how long it would take for him to get the king’s ear once he arrived. Maybe news that big would get him an audience on the day he arrived. Maybe the King would have him tossed in the dungeons for telling ludicrous lies. Who knew? The vagueness of it all was killing me. Every day I half expected to be told that the Lynx had “moved on” beyond our reach as well, crushing the last little bit of hope that remained. That would be my luck.
“Brooding again?”
I held up a certain finger in the time old gesture of “I don’t find your joke funny.” I was in no mood for, well, anything. I just wanted to sulk.
“Come on, Cat. Get changed and get moving. ”
I heard the muffled thunk of my purse hitting the top of the dresser. Damn. Mairi was clearing off the chair and making herself comfortable. That meant there was no hope of privacy for my sulking. “Maybe I don’t want to get moving. Maybe I’d rather explore the full majesty of my misery.”
I sounded pre-tween whiny even to my own ears.
“And maybe I want an all-expense paid trip to Fiji so I can work on my tan.” My, she sounded tart tonight. She continued, “Maybe, if we’re lucky, we’ll both get what we want—but not until we find the Lynx. So, come on. Stop brooding and get up. We’ve got a fresh lead to check.”
“What’s the point?” I moaned, scrubbing at my face with my hands.
“The point is that all we can do is keep trying. You said it yourself—”
“Yeah, yeah. I know what I said.” I pushed myself up on my elbows. She was folded up cross-legged on the chair by the door in that obnoxiously bendy way the young could still manage. Show off. I ached down to my very bones in a way that had nothing to do with sword-fighting and everything to do with sleep deprivation. The continuous rollercoaster of depression probably wasn’t helping. “Stop reminding me.”
She gave me her best look of disapproval, which really just came off as sassy duck-face. She mimicked me far too perfectly when she said, “‘Time is of the essence, Mai. Don’t let me get distracted by my funk!’ We need to find him a.s.a.p., remember? So you can get your pretty little ass the hell out of Dodge.”
She met me scowl for scowl. In hindsight, telling her my plan to run off into the setting sun the minute I had completed my bargain with Kaine had been a huge mistake. She hadn’t taken it very well. While she hadn’t come right out and voiced her resentment, the sudden swells of moody contempt spoke volumes. I didn’t quite understand why she was so mad at me. We had become close over the past few months, but what had she expected? It wasn’t like I had ever intended to join their merry band and follow them home once this was all over. Kaine could treat me like a lackey all he wanted—that didn’t mean I was some sort of rare and majestic human pet. The plan had always been to find the Lynx, shake hands, and go our separate ways.
Whatever. I didn’t have the energy to deal with her teenage snit.
She was right though. I had said just that. Continuing to argue with her because I wanted to wallow in self-pity would be futile. I scooted off the bed and started to riffle through the dresser for a clean pair of jeans. “What’s the deal this time? Another stupid café with fancy, overpriced lattes? This city has more freaking cafés than I ever thought possible.”
“A bar, actually. Word has it that he’s a regular there. Surprise, surprise; all this time we’ve been hopped up on caffeine when we could have been pickling our livers.” She pulled a folded piece of paper from her pocket and smoothed it out on one knee. “Let’s see—its downtown, on the corner of Maple and Green.”
“You’ve got to be shitting me.” She didn’t need to say anything else. My stomach had already dropped. “
Gilroy’s
?”
“Huh—yeah, that’s right. How did you…”
The silence was deafening.
I turned around and saw her giving me a wide-eyed stare, her mouth a charming little o of surprise. Things had just clicked into place for her. “I didn’t make the connection when Seana told me. That’s where we first met you, isn’t it?”
I nodded. The place where I had met them. The place where the troll had attacked me. The place where my former best friend worked. The place I had once called a second home. The place where all I had known had died and everything since had been one long, fucked up nightmare. I leaned back against the dresser, covering my face with my hands like that would hold in the depreciative laughter. Oh, how fucking
perfect
was this?
Fate really kept giving it to me good, sans lube.
I knew she wanted to save me this pain, somehow—to tell me to forget it, to tell me we’d find him somewhere else—but she couldn’t. Maybe her freaky intuition was telling her the same thing mine was: this wasn’t a lead we could ignore. I stared up at the ceiling, not caring how the overhead light seared itself into my gaze. Going blind would have been preferable to dealing with this. “Does this source actually know the Lynx? Are we absolutely sure, 100% sure, that this is for real?”
“I don’t know. They don’t name names when they tell me things, but Seana seemed to think the lead was solid. Maybe this guy is a friend of the Lynx, or maybe it’s just another random acting on rumors…”
No. I felt it in my gut. This was where he would be. This was the one stone we had never thought to turn over. I took a deep, shaky breath. I had come too close to freedom from all this to back away now. I had to face it all—my past, my mistakes, my fears—if I was ever going to get past this. I pulled a t-shirt out and shrugged into it, over my cami. “Then we’ll do what we’ve got to do. No other choice, right?”
“Cat…”
As I turned she collided with me; arms wrapped around my waist and her head buried in my chest. “I’m so sorry we made such a mess of your life. I’m sorry I’ve been such a twat. I just don’t want you to go! No one else gets me. No one else even acts like I’m in the room. They all treat me like a kid or a freak and I don’t want to go back to that. You’re the closest thing I’ve ever had to a sister and I don’t want to lose you!”
I hugged her back, hard. I shushed her with soothing sounds, my throat tightened in a vice grip. Hearing her weep, I felt like a part of me was breaking loose inside. An avalanche of emotion I was powerless to stop threatened to bury us both. I understood her pain on so many levels. That part of her that felt different and powerless; hadn’t I still been that very same lost little girl on my 30th birthday? I even understood her looming fear of abandonment deep inside, in that place that had always longed for the close, loving family that biology hadn’t given me. I wanted to break down and rail at the unfairness of it all—only, we didn’t have time for such things now.
Goddamn, I wanted to hate how much I had come to love the little weirdo. I resented the shit-storm the fae had made of my life, but they had given me the frustratingly entertaining little sister I had always wanted. I pushed her back, gently, and smoothed her hair back from her face. It was a riot of neon pink, orange, and yellow this week. It made me smile. “I know you don’t. I wish I didn’t have to leave you either.” Her red-rimmed, watery eyes broke my heart. “Look, I don’t know where I’m going when this is all over—but it’s not over yet. Let’s just get through tonight and see what happens, okay?”
She scrubbed at her face and put on a stoic façade. She nodded. “Yeah, okay.”
I pushed her toward the door. “Give me ten. I’ll meet you at the car. Let’s find this asshole.”
~*~
Walking up to the door of Gilroy’s was as fun as approaching the guillotine. I hadn’t been there since the night of my birthday. That was so many months ago that it now felt like a lifetime. I felt guilty for having avoided the place for so long, like my sudden absence might have somehow offended the very stones of the walkway my feet trod upon. That sounded crazy but, hey, what in my life wasn’t crazy?
I hesitated, my hand hovering above the doorknob. Mairi was two steps behind me, cloaked in the glamour that would make her invisible to the other patrons. It was a necessary evil given her baby face. Unfortunately, that made my job a bit harder. Sitting alone, murmuring to myself was bound to attract some attention—especially if Jenni was working the bar tonight. I didn’t know how I was going to do this without some sort of scene occurring. Hell, I was fully expecting this evening to unravel into an all-out, character damaging debacle.
Saying a quick prayer to whatever higher power might be listening, I whispered, “Show time.”
Mairi took my hand and squeezed it briefly. “Right behind you.”
That was small comfort for a gal who did her level best to avoid sticky situations like the one I was about to dive in to, but I’d take it. I opened the door wide and hoped she would be able to squeeze through behind me without too much fuss. As soon as I was two steps into the room, Rodrigo turned and looked at me, doing a double-take before a wide grin split his face. “Caitlin!” He stood up and engulfed me in a bear hug that lifted my feet clear off the ground. “Holy shit, it’s been forever! Where you been?”
“Can’t breathe, ‘Rigo,” I wheezed. His love was about to crush my newly healed ribcage.
“Sorry.” He chuckled as he put me back down. He held my arm until I was steady on my feet. One of his huge hands squeezed my shoulder. His joy at seeing me was so genuine it made me feel all that much more a heel. “It’s been months, girl. I was beginning to think we’d never see you again.”
My eyes were already scanning the place in a franticly covert manner. Mairi had made it in. She picked her way through the room to an out of the way table that would still give us a good view without too many eavesdropping ears nearby. “Uh, yeah, I know. Sorry. I’ve been having a rough time lately.”
His face fell. His hands clenched into angry fists. “Jen told me about what happened that night, on your birthday. I wish I had known. I coulda done something about that creep. I would have pounded that motherfucker into the ground for laying a hand on you.”
His rage touched me. Sometimes I forgot I had friends in places I never thought to look. I smiled and patted his arm. “I know you would have, thank you. But, if it’s all the same, I’d rather not talk about that right now. I’m just trying to work through it and get back to a normal life. Make amends for how shitty I’ve been lately and all that.” The lies tumbled out, so natural that I hated myself for them. I forced myself to brighten, adopting a more cheerful smile as I asked, “Is Jen working tonight?”
He cocked his head to the side, one eyebrow skewed upward. “Nah, she’s off the rest of the week. Tony came home on Tuesday. Didn’t you know?”
I didn’t, of course, but I couldn’t let him know that. If Jenni hadn’t broadcasted our parting of ways, I didn’t want to be the one to break the news. I was filled with equal parts relief and devastation: glad that I wouldn’t have to face her tonight, but oh-so-sad that I had had no idea her beau had finally returned home. In the old days, we would have planned a huge, overly complicated homecoming party and gotten rip-roaring drunk together to celebrate such a momentous occasion. Now, thanks to my own actions, I hadn’t even gotten a cursory text. I wondered if my hunch had been right and if he had proposed yet. If he had, and she still hadn’t reached out to me…
I fought to keep the smile on my face and waved it off like it was no big deal. “Oh, yeah. I thought she had said something about picking up a shift tonight. I guess I’ll just have a drink and, you know, exorcise a couple demons or something. Gotta get back in the saddle.”
Concern was clear upon the big man’s face, making me feel like the most miserable shit to ever be shat upon the earth. “Yeah, okay. But, hey, if you want to talk it out or somethin’ I could get Neil to watch the door. We could have a beer or two.”
“That’s okay. I’m probably not very good company right now anyhow. Maybe next time?” His sympathy was striking right through to the heart of me. My lower lip wanted to tremble and I was having a hard time keeping that traitorous fucker in check.
He grinned. “Okay. I’m holding you to that.”
I threw my arms around him in a quick hug to hide the devastation on my face. “You’re the best, ‘Rigo. Thanks.”
As we parted, he said, “It’s good to see you back. We missed you.”
I quickly wiped away the tear that had the audacity to make its way down my cheek and hurried back to the table Mairi had picked. I slid into the seat and gripped the edge of the table like it would keep me from sliding under the choppy waves of my emotions. I managed to act normal when the waitress stopped by to take my order. Thank god she was new and there were no uncomfortable questions or pleasantries to deal with.
When she walked away, my spine went limp and I slumped back into the seat. I raked my hair back with one hand. “Holy shit, this was a bad idea. A baaaaaaad idea.”
Mairi squeezed my hand. “I’m sorry. I know this is hard.”
“Hard doesn’t even begin to describe it.” I hadn’t spared a single thought on Gilroy’s or the friends I had made here over the years since the night Argoth had brought reality crashing down around me. That night, I had labeled the place as the “bad spot” in my memory banks and locked it away. All the happy memories had gone with it, buried deep in an attempt to forget my fear. Coming back now just made me realize how far I had strayed from the path of my old, everyday life. I was filled with conflicted emotions and just wanted to run away before they overwhelmed me.