Irrefutable (The Apprehensive Duet Book 2) (16 page)

“If you want me, I’m here, angel. No place I’d rather be than right here.”

All the pain and anguish I’ve felt over the last two and half years at the hands of this woman don’t seem to matter anymore. This is all I’ve ever wanted with her. To be let in. She’s opening herself up and allowing herself to be vulnerable, and her actions reach down deep inside and heal a place inside me that’s been a void since we broke up.

And I’m not the only one beginning to heal with all that has transpired today.

An array of sensations passes through Quinn’s eyes. Relief. Shock. Security. Excitement. Determination. Pressure. It all courses through Quinn at once as my words crash over her. Her arms wrap around me and tears stream down her face.

“It’s okay, angel. Just trust me. One day at a time. That’s all we’re going to do. All you have to do is let me in little by little. ” Her sobs slow and her body begins to relax. “You just need to talk to me and know I’ll always try to understand. If you can do that, we’ll be okay.”

“You sound so sure,” she sighs. “You always make everything sound so easy. I know we can make this work, but I also need to work on me. I need to get through this shit with my dad and get myself in a good place. I can’t do both at the same time though. It’s not fair to me or us.”

“I’m not going anywhere, angel.” I can’t help the way my endearment for her just rolls right off my tongue. “So why don’t you tell me about this plan Jordan came up with.”

Quinn angles her head up to mine and the hesitation in her eyes is evident. “You sure you want to get mixed up in all of this?”

There’s no reservation from me at all. “If it means helping you, then you can always count me in. So tell me what we’ve got to do.”

She takes a deep breath and starts to explain their plan. “Jordan wants to have a PI follow us around taking pictures of the two of us together. Make it look like I’m not even hiding I’m cheating on him. He’s going to take those photos to my father and try to convince him to let him in on the scheme to have me investigated. Then we’re going to take whatever we find to the lawyers so we can flip the script on him and have him arrested.”

Wow. That’s a lot to take in. “Jordan wants to encourage your father to actually make the call?”

She nods her head before tucking it under my chin again. “He wants him to think he wants to get back at me for cheating on him and cut me out of the merger.”

“What if he doesn’t take the bait and your father tells Jordan to fuck off?” This plan doesn’t sound smart at all.

“That’s the unpredictable part I was talking about before.”

Her relationship with her father has been volatile and vindictive. I don’t feel that poking the bear is the best idea.

“I’m worried for you, angel. I don’t like this,” I admit. “There’s so many ways for this to go wrong.”

“I know, but I don’t see what other choice we have.”

Her face falls as the words pass her lips and I know that she was hoping I would tell her that this would work and I thought everything was going to be okay. There’s no way I can do that. I refuse to tell her that knowing it’s not how I feel. No matter how much she wants to hear it.

The doorbell rings giving us a minute alone with our thoughts while I get the door. After paying the delivery guy, I take a seat back on the couch, placing the food aside on the coffee table.

Quinn said that she wanted to get all the awkward out before dinner so that we can move forward and catch up. I happen to agree with that logic, so I pick back up right where we left off. The food can wait a few minutes.

“Okay, if you want to do this, I’ll help. But you have to be honest with me. No more running. No hiding.”

“I’ve told you everything.”

“I get you wanting to work on yourself, and I’ll be patient, but we don’t need to wait. I’m done watching you from a far. We will do this at whatever speed you want, but we’re doing it starting now.”

Quinn’s eyes bulge from her face and storm over. They flitter back and forth like they’re watching a really fast movie reel. She’s imagining a hundred different possible ways for how this could turn out. Quinn’s eyes suddenly stop moving and she peers up at from under her lashes. The clouds have cleared and she holds my gaze. If I weren’t staring at her, I might’ve missed just the slightest nod of her head. Her barely-there agreement.

“It’s going to be different. Not bad different, but no more babying you. No more biting my tongue so I don’t scare you. I have wants and needs and you’re going to hear about them. I’ll hear about yours. I want a life, Quinn. If you can’t give me that, you need to tell me now.”

Sadness contours Quinn’s beautiful face. “Alex, I don’t even know if I’ll have a life when this whole thing is done and over. I can’t promise something I might not be able to guarantee. Even if this works out in our favor, I still have a lot to work on. I’m fucked up. I need to try and get unfucked. All I can give right now is the promise to try.”

This moment right here is the most I could ever ask of Quinn. This is what I’ve wanted—to be let in. Actions speak louder than words, so even though Quinn isn’t giving me what I asked for, she’s giving me more.

She’s offering to try and letting her feelings out, giving me the best thing ever—honesty. The old Quinn would’ve found some way to twist wanting a life with her into the most horrible thing ever and run.

The woman in my arms isn’t that person anymore. She’s grown so much, but also has the weight of the world on her shoulders. Even though she’s at max capacity, she’s willing to make room for me.

Leaning down, I press my lips to hers and enjoy the warmth that courses through me. “Trying is perfect, angel. But you aren’t fucked up or broken. We’ll do everything we can to make sure this plan works. When your dad is finally out of the picture, we’ll work on you, but there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re just a little lost.”

I hate the way she currently sees herself, and her father is doing a great job of slowly destroying her. She’s in pain and it kills me to see her struggling. Nothing can stop me from bringing back the light inside Quinn.

It’s been enough heavy for the night. I want to get to the part where we laugh and have a great time. Grabbing the bag of food, I pull out the containers and open them up while Quinn grabs plates and forks. I guess we’re on the same page of taking a break from all the hard stuff.

As we sit back down, I decide it’s time to start learning all I can about Quinn and this new version of life with her. “Tell me about the business you and Jordan are working on.”

The mention of her soon-to-be company sets off a small glimmer of light in her eyes and her entire body relaxes. Words begin to tumble out of her mouth effortlessly. The more she talks about it, the brighter the light gets. I’d give the world to see that light shine at its full brightness. I’m making it my life’s mission to make that happen.

“HOW ARE YOU holding up with everything going on?” Ashley asks as we head upstairs from the den to put Michaela to bed.

She and Tanner asked Alex and me if we wanted to have dinner tonight. It’s been a very long time since the four of us were together, civilly anyway. It feels both right and awkward at the same time. So I took the tiny break offered up by Ash when she asked if I wanted to come upstairs with her.

“I’m holding up,” I exhale as we hit the second floor. “I’m a little crazy with paranoia and fear, but it’s hopefully almost over.”

“Is Dr. Stein still giving you a hard time about it all?” Ashley asks over her shoulder as we make our way to the baby’s room.

My therapist doesn’t like the way I’m choosing to handle things with my father or Alex. He strongly advised me to find a different way to handle the set up than by risking further damage to myself. But he’s a doctor not a lawyer, and our lawyers didn’t see anything they could do with what we had on our side of things.

As far as Alex goes, he firmly believes I could wind up doing a lot more harm than good. His honest opinion is that I’m taking on too much too fast and he fears I’m pushing myself more than necessary.

Dr. Stein doesn’t seem to grasp the concept that if Alex and I are going to make this work, it has to be now. There was determination in Alex’s eyes as he told me it was non-negotiable. I couldn’t argue, but I refused to lie.

As I gave Alex the promise to try, something inside him came to life. His handsome face had a glow, and I knew, just knew, I’d do whatever he wanted to have a shot at this again. The way he looked at me in that moment, like I was the whole world, seeped into my soul and gave me a reason to hope.

“He’s let it go,” I say in answer to Ash’s question as she lays Michaela down on the changing table. “He told me yesterday that if this was how I was choosing to handle things, he’d do his best to help me through it. Then he gave me a ten-minute lecture about needing to be honest and open about how I was doing through all the stress and pressure.”

I watch her effortlessly hold down a very squirmy five-month-old while changing a diaper. “And are you doing that?” she asks.

“Would I be telling you this if I weren’t?” I raise an eyebrow at her in annoyance. Why does she always think I’m so incapable of change?

“Touché,” she nods, sensing my displeasure with her faith in me.

“How are things with you and Jordan?” she changes the subject as she finishes zipping up Michaela’s pajamas.

I reach out and take the baby from her and head over to the rocking chair in the corner. Ashley hands me a pacifier and I snuggle Michaela as we rock. ‘‘It’s super awkward right now. Everything is fine when we talk business and about the plan with Dad, but it all feels flat and forced. It sucks. We were so close before, and I feel like I lost a really good friend.”

Her lip curls up on one side giving me half of a sad smile that reflects the same sad look in her eyes as she speaks. “Give him a little time, babe. He’ll get over it. He cares about you and I’m sure it’ll get better. Just not overnight.”

“I know,” I sigh gazing down at the sleepy baby in my arms. God, what I wouldn’t give to go back to being a blissfully ignorant child. Not a care in the world. “I feel awful this thing between us turned into such a mess but at the same time, it’s not my fault. But knowing that doesn’t make me feel less shitty.”

“You can’t control how other people feel,” she tries to comfort me. “If Jordan is half the guy you say he is, he’ll get through this and you guys will go back to being friends again. You need all the support you can get through this and Jordan knows that.”

I look up at her and let my mask fall. The mask I tend to keep up around everyone, including my best friends, so no one can see inside to the real me. I’ve been wearing it for so long it feels like a permanent part of my being. I’ve never liked to let anyone see my weakness because it’s something that can be used against you. I’ve seen it happen too often to others, and I vowed to myself a long time ago that I’d never allow that to happen to me. But I’m pretty sure it’s time to try out something new.

“Even with the smallest glimmer of light visible at the end of the tunnel, I don’t feel like this is ever going to end, Ash. Hit after hit. I’m strong and I try to be immune to it all, but I don’t know how much more I can take.”

Ashley squats down in front of me and places her hands on my knees. Her eyes are genuine as they bore into mine. “Quinn, you are one of the strongest women I’ve ever known. You’ve gotten me through the worst of times with that strength. Look at how far you have come just in a short period of time. You’ll make it through this, but not by feeling sorry for yourself. Where’s that inner bitch you’re known for?”

“Keep telling me I’m having a pity party and you’ll see her quicker than you think,” I laugh. This. This feels good. Being able to laugh at my life with Ash.

“I just call ‘em like I see ‘em, sweets,” she says using a voice I assume is supposed to sound like mine but doesn’t even come close.

We try our best to contain our laughter as to not wake the baby whose eyes just closed. “I don’t sound anything like that,
sweets
.”

“It made you smile,” she says with a smile of her own. “But I wasn’t kidding about the pity party, Quinn—sitting around feeling sorry for yourself isn’t you. Don’t lose the strong person you are to your father; you’re going to need her for this battle.”