Irreparable (Wounded Souls) (19 page)

“Jameson, please I need you,” she moans out and then kisses me again. When she begs, I’m gone. So much for slow and steady; looks like the hare is going to win the race this time around. The tortoise will just have to win round number two. 

“I love you, Samantha.” I moan into her open lips as I slide my dick between her intoxicating heat. I will never get tired of this with Samantha. She is my everything and coming together like we are is like coming home. For years I wondered where I belong. It was the main reason I joined the Marines. Now, feeling Sam this way, I know she is where I belong.  I will spend every day of my life earning my spot beside her.  Her nails dig into my back as my hips work into her.  My cock is sliding in and out of her sex and my mouth is busy kissing the nape of her neck.

“Jameson. Please baby, don’t stop,” she breaths out as she wraps her legs around my ass, locking her ankles behind me, connecting us for this intimate moment.

“I’m not planning on it babe.”  I smirk and grab her thigh and start to speed my thrusts up.  My mouth reaches down and takes her pebbled nipple into my mouth and I bite down softly.  I groan as she lets out a strangled moan.  It gives me immense pleasure knowing that Sam is as turned on as I am.  In the distance I can hear my phone vibrating but I ignore it.  Tonight is about Sam and I, and whoever is calling can wait. 

Sam rolls us over and puts her hands on my chest and starts to roll her hips back and forth on top of me. Her hands squeeze my pecs and I moan as she slams down on my cock. “Jameson, you feel amazing baby,” she whimpers as I sit up and pull her by the back of her neck. My lips attack her as she continues to slide up and down my hard erection. I moan into her mouth and she moans into mine. It’s hard to tell whose breath is whose and I know that I am forever gone. If this woman ever left me, it would be the death of me.  I am head over heels in love with Samantha Blalock.  My head rolls back as I feel her tightening around my shaft. 

“Damn. Samantha. I. Am. Coming,” I pant out as her orgasm explodes around me, squeezing what I have to offer her out of me.  After we both slow our breathing, she smiles and kisses my lips.

“I can’t wait to become Mrs. Jameson Carter.”

“I can’t wait for it either baby.”  I kiss her cheek and smile as she stares lovingly at the ring on her finger.  I knew the minute I saw it that it would be her ring.  I never got that feeling with Mary-Beth.  I bought her a ring that I knew she would like.  It was never a compulsion to have it on her finger.  It was the right thing to do.  What the fuck am I doing?  Why is Mary-Beth crossing my mind when I should be reveling in the fact that this beautiful goddess has agreed to be my woman?

Sam’s mouth opens in a cute little yawn and I smirk.  “It’s time for bed beautiful. It’s been a long day for you.” She just nods her head in agreement. I hear a buzz again in the distance but I don’t worry about it. Tonight is not for anyone else, tonight is about Sam and me. I reach down and pull off my prosthetics, setting them beside the bed in case I need to get up in the middle of the night.  Then I reach for Sam and pull her into my arms.  A pang of sadness spreads through my chest as I realize I will never be able to have my legs intertwined with Samantha. She doesn’t seem to let that affect her, but in a way, it affects me.

Something just feels off. I chalk it up to me just being antsy about not being everything Sam needs me to be. Finally, about an hour after Sam has fallen asleep, my eyes close and I doze off.  Tonight couldn’t have been any more perfect for me. 

I wake up to Sam shaking my shoulder softly. “Baby, you need to wake up. S
omething is wrong.”  I sit up immediately and I can see she’s been crying. 

“What? What’s the matter?” I look into her eyes and rub the pads of my thumbs over her cheeks to get the tears to stop.

“You, you need to call Johnson.  I’m going to go get some breakfast.  You will need to be alone for this.”  She looks at me sadly and then gets up and leaves the room.  What
in the hell is going on? I grab my phone and I notice that there are fifteen missed calls, and twenty-five texts. I ignore them all and I dial Blake.

“Hello?”

“Dude, what the hell is going on?” 

“Where are you, Carter?” 

“I’m with Sam, in Biloxi.” I am immediately concerned that something has happened to Anna or maybe someone he is close to.

“Are you sitting down?” The tone of his voice has me on edge.

“Just spit it out already,” I snap. I know I shouldn’t,
but I just can’t help it.  What the fuck is going on around there
?

“Jameson, it’s Mary-Beth,” he says in a voice so sullen I begin to worry. I shouldn’t care but for six years she was my everything.

“What about her?”  I grip the sheets, and now I realize why Sam has left.  She is afraid of my reaction.  She is afraid she will see me
express something for Mary-Beth. There is nothing left for me to feel.

“Jameson, she killed herself.”  His words play in my mind over and over.  “Anna and I tried to stop her, but I didn’t get there in time.  I kicked the door in and the moment it opened she pulled the trigger.”  I can hear the haunted
sound of his voice. I grab my cell phone and replay what he just said, over and over. “Jameson?”

“I’m here.”  I sit there stunned.  I replay all my years with
Mary-Beth and wonder what on Earth made her take her own life?
  I can’t begin to even contemplate what was going through her mind.  I cannot cry
;
I don’t have it in me.  Am I really this heartless?  I loved her at one point.  At one point she wasn’t
a monster set out to ruin everyone. What happened to make her want to kill herself? “Why?” My whole body shakes as I wait for the words.

“I honestly don’t know. We talked to Garrett and he is distraught. He said she was depressed but he didn’t know it was like this.” Garrett? Who was that? Had she finally moved on? I was happy that she had someone, but I was devastated that she felt she had to end her life.

“Garrett?”

“Yeah, he had been seeing Mary-Beth
for about four months now.  It wasn’t broadcast to everyone. 
Mary-Beth wanted it to be a secret, but Anna knew though.” He sighs. “Dude, can you just come home? I know you proposed, but I need you here. Anna needs you here.”

I let out a sigh.  “Yeah, as soon as Sam comes back I will.” 

“Wait! Sam’s not there with you?” Blake sounds confused and I let out a chuckle.

“Would Anna be if you found out Lizzie shot herself?” I wait for an answer. He lets out a gruff laugh.

“Touché. Look man, Anna is waking up. I’ve
gotta go.  She is still in shock.  I was used to seeing the brain matter on the wall, she wasn’t.” His voice sounds deflated, haunted even.  We both have seen so much death and it’s just something we don’t let affect us anymore.  Maybe that is why I am not crying or expressing anything for
Mary-Beth.
 

“Alright,
brother. I’ll call you when I get home.”  We hang up and I get up
,
putting on my legs and then walking into the bathroom to get the bags.  I opt for a pair of jeans today.  I don’t want people questioning me today.  Today
,
I need to think about what is going on.  She killed herself.  Was her life really that bad?  I mean, at least she still had her legs.  In her defense though, she lost her sister and mother.  I just can’t believe
Mary-Beth
did it.  Where did she get a gun?

I hear a door click shut and I turn around to see Sam.  She looks sad and heart broken.

“I’m so sorry, Jameson.”  She runs into my arms and I pat her head.

“Sam, I loved her and my heart aches for her. Not because I still was in love with her, but because I can’t imagine anyone’s life being that bad that they want to take their own life.” I grab her chin and make her look at me. “You, you are my heart;
you have my soul.  I am completely wrapped around your fingers.  You hold everything for me
,
Samantha.  Am I sad
?
  Yes.  I wouldn’t have a heart if I
wasn’t
.  But I am not sad because I love her.  I
don’t anymore.” She looks at me and the tears fall.

“Why did she do it?”  Sam looks so confused and I give her a sad smile.  “I mean, she was beautiful.  She had everything a girl could want.  I don’t understand.  She had her whole life ahead of her.”  Sam breaks down again.  I am amazed by her heart.  This girl is crying for someone who tried to keep us apart.  She tried to ruin what we had and now Sam is crying for her.  It just shows what an amazing woman Samantha is.  She has been through so much and she never took the easy way out.  My Sam, she is a fighter. 

I learned the hard way that Mary-Beth
would never be a fighter.  She always gave up when things got rough.  I suppose this time she thought it couldn’t get any more rough.  “Sam, the only person who could answer that isn’t here to answer it.  I don’t know why
Mary-Beth
thought the only way to be happy was to not be here at all.”  I start to put my clothes back in the bag, and see Sam doing the same thing.  So much for this being a happy time for us.

“Maybe, if we hadn’t,” Sam starts but I stop her and walk over to her. I grab her arms and make her look at me.

“You and I had nothing, and I mean nothing,
to do with this.  Do you understand me
?
  It was her choice to leave, not mine.  Am I glad she did
? Yes.” I can see the questions in her eyes. “Why?” She nods slowly. “Because of her leaving
, I got you.  You were who I was always supposed to be with.  I just got blindsided by boobs and emerald eyes.”  I sigh, maybe that wasn’t the correct word for me to use. 

“I hated her. I absolutely loathed her. Now,
I feel horrible for hating her.”  She looks down, as if she is ashamed for having these feelings.   I wipe the tears away and kiss her lips.

“She put you through a lot, but you never hated her. If you had,
you wouldn’t be crying.”  I smile and kiss her lips.  “Now, let’s get back and see how Anna is doing.  I hear she saw the whole thing.”  Sam’s eyes grow wide as saucers.

“What? Poor Anna! Luke didn’t tell me that.” She grabs my hand and pulls me out of the hotel. Well, thank you Mary-Beth, always ruining a happy time for me lately. Immediately I feel bad for thinking it, even if it is the truth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We pull up to
Anna’s house and walk to the door.  I notice immediately that it’s way too quiet.  I knock on the door and Blake opens it slowly. 

“Hey, Carter.” He gives me a sad smile and then opens the door for me. Sam and I both walk into the living room and we take a seat. “She’s in her room and
won’t talk to anyone.  She’s just staring at the wall.  I, I don’t know what to do anymore.”  He breaks down and then looks at me.  “Can you try to talk to her?  Maybe that will help her.  You both knew
Mary-Beth
differently than us.”  He rings his hands together in a nervous gesture and I stand up.  I kiss Sam on the head and walk towards Anna’s bedroom door.  “Thank you
,” I hear Johnson whisper, but this isn’t for him.

This is for Anna, the woman who supported Mary-Beth
when they got the call that I may not live.  This is for Anna, the woman who helped
save the man standing before me. For Anna, the woman who, in a way, helped to
save me.  Sweet Anna, who
never should have seen this type of thing. For Anna, because the Anna we all knew and loved is not with us anymore. She will never get over seeing someone die. I open the door and shut it softly behind me with a click.

“Blake?” Anna sits up and meets my eyes, her face red and puffy from crying and her hair a rumpled mess. “Jameson? Oh Jameson, I… I tried to save her. I did.” She is shaking hysterically and I want to cry for her. She has witnessed something terrible and life altering. . I walk over to her and she jumps into my arms. I just hold her and rub her head.

“Would you like to talk about it?” My voice is hoarse and gruff with emotion. She shakes her head no and I sigh. “It will help you grieve, Anna. Tell me what happened.” I rub her hair again and she puts her hands in her lap. She is staring off into the distance, no doubt in my mind that she is reliving it over and over. She is in her own personal hell.