Read It Wasn't Love at First Shalini and I Online
Authors: Prashant Sharma
This was the early 2000s, this was not the time you tell a girl what
to do or what not to do. Pooja could not believe that it was the same
guy who had loved her for the last four years and how all of a sudden,
getting engaged to him had changed everything. She could not
understand how all of a sudden her independence was being taken
away from her. She tried to talk to her mother, then his mother, but
no one seemed to understand what she was going through. They just
said that there are certain compromises that need to be made to make
a marriage successful and her leaving her job was one of them. He
anyways made enough money for the both of them and she could sit
at home and take care of other things.
That is when she met me. She told me that it wasn’t love at first,
mainly because I was not that good looking to fall in love at first
sight.
She told me that she started liking me when we got talking. She
liked my carefree attitude in life, but she loved the way I could
transform myself and give a 100% while at work. That was the first
time she used the word love. She said she loved that I could adapt
myself according to the situation and behave in the manner required.
That is what she had apparently wanted from her guy and had thought
that she had found it in Rannvijay but then she started sobbing about
how wrong she had been. I had to comfort her but I did not know
how. Then, she started sobbing on my shoulder.
We by the way, in the middle of this conversation had walked
away from the dhaba and were sitting in her car. A Maruti Alto, in
the parking of the building where I worked. It was now 11 pm and
a guard walked upto the car and looked inside. He recognised me,
faked a salute, put on a mischievous smile and left. I knew what
people would be discussing over cigarettes tomorrow. I got my mind
back to the problem on hand, on shoulder in fact.
I liked Pooja. She was pretty, she was smart, and she was pretty
much better than the best girl I could have managed for myself. But
as she had mentioned, for all matters not related to work, I was a
pretty chilled out carefree guy and I did not want to get into this
mess.
It was a horrible mess. Sure, she gave me the jibbers the other day,
and made me appreciate rain, and birds, and grass, but that was when
I thought we would go out on a couple of dates and see where it
would head from there. Now was very different. Now I was the
‘other man’ in the relationship. I was not really sure whether I wanted
to be the ‘other man’. In fact, I was pretty sure that I did not want to
be the other man. Just then she left my shoulder, a wet patch on it
due to the tears smeared with some of her black kajal. What is it with
girls and kajal? She actually was crying.
So there it was, I was now officially the ‘other man’. The ‘What
do we do now?” had sealed it. Instead of “What do I do now?” it was
“What do we do now?” The dreaded word “we”.
And then to seal it, she kissed me, right there and then. And I did
not resist. It is really difficult to resist when a pretty girl is kissing
you. In that Maruti Alto that day, I kissed my carefree life good bye.
I spent the night talking to Pooja saying the usual things a guy says
to a girl in order to make her smile. I cracked stupid jokes so that she
could smile while she was still sobbing, I made faces, called her names
and did all that stuff until finally it was time for her to go home. She
lived alone by the way but dropped me first at my place and then
went to hers. I did not know whether it was too early to invite her to
my apartment. I thought that I was already in the mess so might as
well enjoy it. But sense prevailed and she left. Getting out of a kiss
was easy, getting out of a night together would have been much more
difficult.
As I was walking up the stairs to my one bedroom apartment, I
thought about Pooja. She was nice. Had it not been for the engagement
angle, I would have been floored if she had fallen for me. But now
things were different. The other guy did not even know I existed and
here I was, kissing his fiancé. I felt bad for him, and I did not know
what I felt for myself. But I really did like her. I had enjoyed the time
we had spent together (leaving out today) and whenever I was with
her, I wanted time to just stand still.
The decision had been made, by her. I just had to be a part of the
game now. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, and did manage to in
the next 30 seconds. The next morning also started with an SMS.
But this time it was my boss.
Oh shit, I had completely forgotten about work. Then the phone
beeped again. This time it was her.
“Gud mrng sweetie. Getup now. Time to goto work J”
I actually smiled. Her SMS did make me feel better. I forgot about
what was going to happen at work and happily went into the toilet
to get ready. Life was good. I had a brand new girlfriend.
The work problem was somehow averted and I met Pooja in the
evening at the same cafe where we had met a few days ago when I
thought she was not engaged and had tried to win her over. Things
were a little different now. I reached early again and ordered the 60
bucks coffee and sat down reading the newspaper. And then I saw her
come in again and my heart skipped a beat just like the last time. She
was beautiful. I had to make this work.
I saw a gamut of emotions from her over the next few days. At
times she would be thrilled to be with me while at others she would
be so guilty. Her marriage was in two months and then she would
start planning with me on how to end it with her fiancé. It really
used to get weird when he used to call her when Pooja and I were on
a date. She would receive the call and talk to him all lovey dovey
while holding my hand and would expect me to understand.
But I did not. I really did not know where this was headed. If she
did break up with Rannvijay, or whatever that guy’s name was, I
assumed she would expect me to marry her pretty soon as she was
apparently ready to get married. I was in no sense ready. Plus I did
not know how my parents would react to her. Since the time I had
started earning, I had told them infinite times to come to Delhi and
live with me. I made enough to run the house now. I know it would
have curbed my freedom, but they were my parents and I wanted to
take care of them. But they had always rejected the idea saying that
they were very well settled in the small little town where they had
lived their entire life and did not wish to shift to the madness of
Delhi.
I did not know how they would react to me marrying a girl who
had recently broken off her engagement. And their opinion really
mattered to me. The constant tussle in my life, more so in hers,
continued until one day when she called me in office. She said that
she was ready. Was ready to tell her parents, his parents, and him,
that she was breaking the engagement.
Just then my boss called me from his cabin urgently and I had to
hang up. I knew not giving her the answer she wanted to hear would
cost me bad. I walked to my boss’s room.
“That is why we are sending you there now. Our American staff
will be on leave and you will have to fill in. I hope everything is in
order. Visa and all.”
“Yes sir.”
“Great, contact Saumya, she will get your tickets done.”
“Yes sir.”
“And son, cheer up please. Whenever I have told anyone that they
are going to US, it is usually accompanied by a big thank you, a hug,
maybe even chocolates for my kids, a tie for me and a perfume for
my wife. You always wanted to goto US. Live your dream.”
I would be in the US for six months atleast and Pooja was getting
married in around a month and a half now. Things had to be decided
in the next 4 days. I went to Saumya to get my tickets done. She
booked me on a Saturday instead of a Sunday. 3 days now.
USA had always been my dream destination. In the last couple of
years I had resigned from my company a couple of times but both
times I was told that I would be sent to the US soon and that very
hope made me carry on. I think it is a very natural thing for a person
who has come out of a small town in India. First to come to the big
city, and then to goto the mightiest country of them all- USA. It was
only a couple of months back that my boss had told me that it had
finally happened. That finally I was going to goto the United States.
In fact, it was the day before I met Pooja for coffee. The day everything
had changed.
I had thought that when the day to finally goto US would come I
would be thrilled to the bone. I would jump, I would laugh, I would
not know how to emote. And the day was finally here. I was not
jumping, I was not laughing, but one thing was the way I expected it
to be- I did not know how to emote. I called Pooja after getting the
tickets done.
There was a long silence. Even though we were on other sides of
the phone, the awkwardness and uneasiness was palpable. “We need
to talk. Meet me at the cafe in an hour.”
“But I have a million things to take care of here at office. I am
going away for 6 months for heaven’s sake. There are office formalities,
visa formalities, ticket formalities ...”
“Meet me at the cafe in an hour.”
“Okay” After she hung up, I shouted on the phone “Bye!”
I told my boss that I had some US visa related issue and excused
myself from the office. I reached the cafe ten minutes early again and
ordered the sixty bucks coffee again. The coffee made me smile. I
was going to the land where this concept of a cafe had originated
with Starbucks. Very soon, I would be having coffee in the country
where such cafes had a future, unlike India where they would shut
shop soon. Very soon I would be having coffee at Starbucks.
It was the first time the feeling of going to US had sunk in. Just
then, Pooja entered. She always looked beautiful in this cafe and
always made me change my mind. I was willing to let go of US for
her. It was decided. I would tell my boss that I cannot go due to
personal reasons. No one questions you when you say ‘personal
reasons’. Surprisingly, Pooja was not looking as angry as I had expected
her to be. She ordered her usual 100 bucks coffee and sat down.
She said this and looked at me. I did not know how to react. I
took a sip of my coffee and tried to cover my face with the mug. Was
she going to leave him, or was she going to leave me?
“So, what I will do is that I will break up with him, but will fake
a reason.” I did not understand how that would not break his heart.
“I will not say that I am breaking up with him because I have found
you. I will make some ‘I am not ready for marriage’ type of excuse.
So in this way, his ego will not get hurt that he was dumped because
of some other guy. And plus, you will be in US, so even if he tries to
find out, he will never know that you are the reason.”
She had a smile on her face after telling me about her little devious
scheme. It seemed like a plan to me because I was not at all involved
in the ugly part. I did not have to get married to her then and there.
She wanted to wait for sometime so that Rannvijay’s ego was not
hurt. It really did work well for me. I did not need to involve my
parents, did not need to get involved with her or Rannvijay’s parents.
I could just be a silent spectator.
She said this, smiled, and left. I smiled. I had a ‘very special treat’
waiting for me, I was going to the US and I was headed away from
all this mess. Life was good. Life was brilliant.
The treat did not happen by the way. After she told Rannvijay,
things got pretty ugly between them and then the families. Pooja’s
parents did not know who to support. It was her fault after all and
they were completely unaware of the real reason. Some unpleasant
things were said between both the families and all in all, it was not
something pretty.
My parents, by the way, had come to see me off. My bags were
packed, my mother helped me a lot in doing that, my documents
were in order in a pouch clinging to my waistline, I put a jacket
around my shoulders, and I was ready to go. My parents dropped me
off at the airport and when I was leaving, I could see tears in their
eyes. I remembered the day I had left for hostel the first time. There
were lots of tears then but as time went by, they gradually understood.
Even though I had lived away for a good eight years now, they felt
that I was atleast still in the country. Now, I was going far away, into
a land they had only heard of. The whole thing got to me and a tear
trickled down my cheek as well. Hari was also there to see me off.
This had certainly been made into a big deal. I gave him a big hug
and asked him to be there in case my parents needed anything. He
asked me not to worry. I knew I could trust him on that. We gave
our hugs and said our goodbyes and I entered the International airport
in Delhi ready for my first international flight, to the United States
of America.