It's All Relative (23 page)

Her tone when she said it…well, it was the most loving thing he’d ever heard anyone say to him. Not able to take it anymore, he stood up, finally breaking the contact with April. Making a show of walking over to her in a friendly manner, he grinned as brightly as he could. “Well, again, thank you for dinner.” As he stepped in front of Jessie, his arms went around her waist. He hadn’t felt like a greeting hug was normal cousin behavior, but surely a goodnight hug wouldn’t raise suspicion.

Her arms came up, loosely at first and then exceedingly tight, almost painfully so. Angling his head away from the other two girls at the table, Kai closed his eyes and let the torrent of pain and longing fill him. Inhaling the scent of her, lavender and honey, and everything good and sweet in the world, he whispered, “I’m sorry.”

He felt Jessie nod, felt her body lightly shaking as she tried to contain the churning emotions that must be running rampant through her; Kai knew they were in him. Their hug was starting to get inappropriately long, so Kai forced himself to take a step back. “Goodnight, Jessie,” he said softly, hoping the ache he felt inside wasn’t evident in his voice.

He wanted nothing more than to pull her back into his arms, squeeze her tightly again, and never let her go, but he had to maintain the appearance of distance. He needed to look like he cared for her, without
overly
caring for her. It was an odd, fine, painful line. Slipping his hands into his back pockets, so he wouldn’t be tempted to touch her, he smiled and took another step back.

Her eyes were noticeably wet, and she had to blink several times to bring them back to even. With a smile that radiated abundant affection, she nodded. “Goodnight, Kai.” Her eyes flicked to April, who was using the opportunity to check her makeup in a mirror next to the dining room table. The sight saddened Kai for some reason; he preferred his cousin’s natural look. Her face without makeup was ten times more attractive than any cosmetic could ever hope to accomplish. She was…perfect.

Jessie’s eyes swept back to him. “I hope the rest of your evening goes well.” Her smile turned mournful, and Kai had to dig his fingers into his thighs to not hold her again.

She said goodnight to her friends and then walked down the hallway that must have led to her bedroom. Kai heard her door close and he was 100 percent certain that she was crying behind it. The thought killed him. This was too hard…and it hadn’t even started yet.

Just as he was about to rush into her room and tell her that he couldn’t do this, that he
wouldn’t
do this, Harmony stood up and stuck her hand out. “I’m going to bed, too. It was very nice to finally meet you, Kai.”

Shoving his torn heart to the back of his mind, he shook her hand. “You too.”

Harmony was inspecting him as they shook hands, and suddenly, an odd look crossed her face. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you seem so familiar to me.” She shook her head. “Have we met before?”

Kai felt heat rushing to his cheeks, but he made himself laugh as they separated. “Ever been to Hawaii?” he playfully asked. His heart was thudding in his chest while he waited for the puzzle pieces to snap into place, waited for her to remember that she’d seen him at the club…with Jessie.

Luckily, she didn’t.

“No.” Shaking her head, she disregarded her own memory. “I must be mixing you up with someone else.” Yawning, she waved a goodbye to him and then April. There was a playful smirk on her face as she left the room, left him alone with the girl who obviously wanted him.

Taking a deep breath, Kai briefly closed his eyes when he heard April getting up from the table. For a second, he thought to quickly tell her goodnight, saying that he’d call her sometime, but April wasn’t going to let him escape that easily. Before he could even turn around, she came up behind him and rested her hand lightly on his back. Even though he didn’t want to, his body reacted a little to her tender touch. Just a light flush of warmth. She ran her hand along his side as she stepped around him. “Want to sit with me on the couch?” she asked.

Wondering if he should end this right now, he muttered, “Um, sure, just for a minute. I should really get going soon.”

April ran her hand along his arm until she reached his fingers. Grabbing them, she walked him to the couch. She sat down and patted the cushion beside her. She’d fixed her legs in such a way that only a small space remained on the side she’d indicated. Kai would be sitting right next to her, as close as possible. He contained a sigh. This was for Jessie. This was what she wanted.

He sat down and leaned over his legs, resting his elbows on his thighs. It was as far from her as he could get without being too obvious. It didn’t work like he’d planned, though; she simply took the movement as an invitation to rest her palm on his back. She rubbed gentle circles into his skin, and Kai hated that his body reacted to that, too. He didn’t want to be attracted to this woman, but she was beautiful, and he couldn’t help the instinct to want to have a beautiful woman touching him. He just wanted it to be a different beautiful woman.

Feeling more torn now than when he’d started the evening, he nervously ran a hand through his hair as he gave her a semi-smile. April tilted her head as she examined him. “Do I make you nervous?” she asked, her voice low and sensuous.

Kai swallowed. “Yes, actually.” For more reasons than she realized.

Laughing, April shifted closer to him, and she was already pretty close. “You don’t have anything to worry about, I’m not scary.” Her hand ran up his back, over his tattoo. Kai remembered Jessie’s hands on his tattoo, and he straightened so April’s hand would drop. It did, but now her side was completely pressed against his. Gazing up at him, she ran a hand through his hair. “Do you think I’m pretty?” she asked.

Kai’s eyes instinctively swept over her face, flicked down to her lips. “Yes,” he whispered, finally feeling honest. That was something he couldn’t deny, even to himself. April was very pretty. Different than Jessie, but still, very pretty.

She smiled wider, playing with her bottom lip. Kai stared at the plump skin, a little mesmerized. “Would you like to take me out sometime?”

Kai really hated what he was about to say, but he’d given Jessie his word. “I think I’d like that.” He forced himself to smile, and April’s eyes locked onto his mouth. She stared at his lips while he stared at hers, and against his will, Kai felt his breath quicken and his heart start to race in anticipation. He didn’t want to kiss her, not really, but…

Still smiling, she whispered, “All right then.” Her breath was light on his face, intriguing and arousing.

Kai had no idea what he was supposed to do, what Jessie really wanted him to do—fully immerse himself in another woman, or only half-heartedly attempt to move on? April’s lips brushed over his while he debated, but she didn’t press against them. Instead, she dragged her lips across his cheek and placed a soft kiss by his ear. The tease made his eyes flutter closed. He hated that he liked it, and felt like he was betraying Jessie just by sitting there. But he wasn’t. Jessie was family,
only
family.

“Call me,” she breathed as she moved away. She rattled off her cell number and Kai found himself eagerly nodding. He almost wanted to pull her back in for a real kiss. Almost.

April stood, a seductive smile fixed on her face. Kai stood with her. He could easily picture April leading him to her bedroom with the heat in her eyes, but instead she grabbed his coat off the couch and led him to the front door. Feeling breathless and confused, Kai walked through it when she opened it for him.

April leaned against the door in such a way that every curve of her trim body was highlighted, begging to be touched. “Call me soon. I’m very impatient.” Kai nodded and leaned in. He wasn’t sure why. Was he leaning in for a hug, another kiss? Before he could think too much about it, April cupped his cheek and obliged him by pressing those full lips so briefly to his, he wasn’t even sure if it had really happened. He gasped when she pulled away.

“It was very nice to meet you, Kai,” she whispered as she slowly closed the door.

Feeling dazed and a little dumbfounded, Kai stumbled back to his bike. It was only then that he realized he’d never gotten the chance to show Jessie what else he’d purchased for her. Walking to the back of his bike, he placed a hand on a second helmet that was strapped over the rear seat. He’d picked it up today with the thought that maybe he could take Jessie for a ride sometime, maybe even tonight. But the night had deviated in a way he hadn’t expected, and now, instead of doing something nice for his cousin, some small way of repaying her for her kindness, he was about to be put an irreversible gap between them by going out with her roommate.

Kai hung his head as he swung his leg over the bike. It was what Jessie wanted though, what she needed, to break whatever was happening between them. It hurt his heart so much to do it…and that was
exactly
why he had to go through with it. He and Jessie couldn’t let this…thing…enter their relationship. They were family. Nothing more.

Starting his bike, Kai looked over at the charming house Jessie lived in. Popping his helmet on, he noticed that one curtain in a window was being held open, and an outline of a body in the dark room was watching him. He knew it was Jessie, and with his expression hidden under the helmet, he let all of his grief show.

Shaking his head, he told her, “I’m sorry, Jessie. I never meant to hurt you tonight, and I don’t want to see April. I want to see you, and only you…and that’s the problem, isn’t it?” Revving the bike, his voice rough under the mask of his helmet, he quietly told her, “I’ll do what you asked, but I think it’s too late. I think I’ve already fallen for you.”

With those words tumbling through his head and bouncing around his body, bruising him as they beat against him, Kai turned away from Jessie’s house and sped into the night.

J
essie watched the red taillight of Kai’s bike until it faded into the distance. A tear fell to her cheek as she tried to swallow the rough lump in her throat. The image of him propped on his bike, staring at her watching him from her dark bedroom was forever burned into her brain. He’d held her gaze for ages, and she couldn’t really tell anything, but from the tension in his body, she was sure he’d been trying to communicate something to her. Maybe an apology for the way the evening had gone.

Jessie dropped the curtain, letting it swish back down into place. The white eyelets seemed to blink at her as a streetlamp outside flashed through them, and more tears fell down her cheeks. Cruelly, her mind replayed that dreadful dinner, both before and after: her inappropriate flirting, her decision to force him to moving forward, his reluctant agreement…the inevitable first steps toward a new romance.

Both crushed and relieved, Jessie walked over to her bed and sat down. It sure hadn’t taken him long to jump on the April-train. But she couldn’t be angry with him for that. He was doing exactly what she’d asked him to do. She wanted him to move on, and April was a good choice for him, for now. She would be fun, nothing too serious, no major commitment. April was a good time, simple and uncomplicated, so unlike what they were.

Taking off her shoes, Jessie rubbed her aching feet. She couldn’t help but wonder what had happened between April and Kai after she’d disappeared. She didn’t want to think about it, but she knew her flirtatious friend well, and she knew that April had most likely been all over him. It was just the way she was—comfortable, confident, and sexy as all get out. Kai would have been helpless against the full force of her charm. Especially since Jessie had made him feel obligated to go along with it. Great.

With a pained exhale, Jessie dropped her head into her hands. It hurt so much; it was unbearable. But she had to get past this. If they could both work past this…desire, then their relationship could be completely normal, natural. April didn’t know it, but she was about to help them get through this. But in the meantime, it was going to burn.

With horrific images of April’s hands and mouth all over Kai’s beautiful body, Jessie undressed for bed. She couldn’t stop wondering when their first date was happening. She couldn’t stop wondering if it would go well. Then she couldn’t stop wondering just how well it would go. She knew from experience that both Kai and April wouldn’t be opposed to going all the way, if they felt the right connection. Jessie wasn’t sure about Kai, but she was pretty sure April would feel the spark. How could she not? Kai was amazing.

Slipping her pajamas on, Jessie felt like the jagged pieces of her heart were tearing her insides apart. But the scars left behind would heal. And once Kai and April truly started dating, he would be around a lot more, which was good. But their PDA would step up too, which was not good. Jessie wasn’t sure if she could handle seeing them holding hands and kissing all the time. As she stepped from her room to the bathroom, she wondered if maybe she should find someone to date, too. Maybe this would be easier, if she wasn’t alone, if she had someone to hold hands with and kiss. Maybe the four of them could even double date. God…that was an awful thought.