It's Just Lola (46 page)

The city was all Joseph had been told it would be.  The tall buildings and the bustle of automobiles going in all directions was daunting, but exciting.  Lola was cold and glad of the close quarters of the taxi.  She wasn’t sure if she was shivering from cold or excitement or fear. 
Wulf
noticed and pulled her closer.

“I’m so happy you’re here. 
How did you
get the money so quickly?”

“My sister Juana’s husband owns silver mines in Ecuador.  I told them I needed the money because being with my husband was the most important thing in the world to me.”  Lola snuggled into the curve of
Wulf
’s arm.  Every word of that was true, but she still felt a touch of guilt.  Perhaps to assuage her feelings of guilt, she told him there was money left for them to set up their own household.  “But let’s not talk about
money;
I want to hear all
about our new life and where we
’
re going
.
”

“I
’
m taking you to some Spanish gypsies.  When I was released after the war, I wandered the docks waiting and hoping to find my ship.  I heard a couple of men speaking Spanish,
w
e started talking
,
and one thing led to another.  Their place became my home in San Francisco.  You
’
ll stay with them until we find a place of our own.”

“You didn’t say
we
would stay with them,” said Lola with
foreboding.

“I’m so sorry,
Lola
, but our ship leaves for Alaska in the morning.”

“You’re leaving
us
with strangers?”

“They
’
ll love you
as much as I do
.  They promised to help you get around.  They
’
re expecting you and the children.  They
’ll help
get the children in school; they
’ll
help you learn English and
show you
how to buy what you need. 
They’re
good people
, Lola
—
you
’
ll be just fine.”

“What about Maggie?”

“The bosun has a cousin across the bay in Oakland that
’
ll take care of Maggie. 
It’s close enough for visits
.”

Lola shivered again
, but this time she knew it was from fear
.  Later that night, warm in the arms of her husband, listening to the haunting music of the gypsy playing his violin in the other room and the bursts of laughter, she smiled.  “If Victoria and Amelia could only see me now, living with gypsies
.
  I always said I didn’t want to grow up to be a lady, and I guess I got my wish.”  She fell asleep,
trusting
that
Wulf
was leaving her in good hands.

She had second thoughts the next morning when her children were crying and complaining and she was shivering with cold.  It was wet and foggy; a fine mist of rain seemed to spread the cold to her very bones.  A helpful gypsy woman took her shopping and made suggestions, but even after donning the new heavy clothing, Lola still felt cold. 

By night she huddled with her children and they shared body warmth.  “Decency be damned,” she
said to Estelle
, “we aren’t made for this weather and we can’t be shivering all night.”  By day she and the children worked harder than they had ever worked.  Estelle, Joseph, and Charlotte went to language school.  Estelle struggled and worked hard.  Joseph and Charlotte soak
ed
up the language like a sponge.  Joseph roamed the streets in his free time, coming home for meals and to sleep.  Lola sat with Estelle in the evenings, going over the lessons of the day.  She did the homework assignments Estelle was given, and they learned together.  While the older children were in school, Lola did what she could around the house and accompanied anyone who went shopping, trying to learn how to survive in their new land.

By the time spring came, Lola began to believe that they could manage on their own. 
Wulf
came home from yet another trip to Alaska and announced that he had a surprise for them.  He had convinced the captain to hire a temporary navigator for the next trip.  They were going to find a place of their own to live.  Lola was nervous about living without the support of others, but
excited
about
having
a home of her own
at last.

“I’ll
be happy to get my ladies safely away from the gypsies,”
said
Wulf
in the cab to the next address on their list of homes to see that day.

Lola was surprised and confused.
  “What makes you say that?
They
’
ve been real friends
, even if they didn’t keep the house very warm
.”  Lola laughed as she
told
him
how
she
and
all the children
had huddled together
for warmth in the terrible damp cold nights. 

“Here you are—Guttenberg Street,” said the driver.  “If you want to take a bus back to downtown, there’s a bus stop two blocks that way on Mission Street.”

The house was perfect
.
  It was within their price range and large enough for them.  Walking distance from a bus route was a great plus since they could not afford the house and a car, at least not yet. 
Wulf
found the secondhand furniture market and soon the family moved into their new quarters.  The children were registered in the local public school, and Lola felt she was ready to begin coping with life when
Wulf
went to sea again.

It was not easy.  She made innumerable errors
while
trying to communicate.  Some were humorous, as the day she went into the department store and asked for “horse” instead of “hose.”  The clerk
directed
her to equestrian clothing.  Other errors were
only
humorous
in retrospect
, as the day two neighbor women came to have tea.  During a lull in the conversation, Lola excused herself to check on the youngsters.  Finding them harmlessly entertaining themselves building tents with the bed linen, she laughingly reported to the women that the children were “
only
playing with the shits on the bed.”  The women left in a hurry and never returned.

Joseph quickly became friends with the Fannelli brothers who lived a block away.  Lola did not approve of the friendship because he developed a distressing tendency to argue and talk back, ignoring his homework and chores alike.  She was outnumbered
,
outweighed and outshouted
by the twelve Fannelli children and the frowsy Mrs. Fannelli.  Lola and Joe seemed to be at odds every single day.  One day he raised his voice and she slapped him so hard his head snapped back.  She gasped at the sight of the hand print on his face, but before she could say a word, he walked out, slamming the door behind him.  By the time he returned the next morning she was beside herself with worry and regret.  Joe apologized and she hugged him, but in two days he was back with the Fannelli boys instead of home doing homework.

Estelle was painfully sensitive about her accent.  Her classmates had already formed cliques that did not include the new girl that talked funny, especially since they saw that the boys noticed her.  Estelle did her best to avoid contact with the boys, and school became a nightmare of isolation and embarrassment.

Charlotte was the only one who seemed blissfully unaware that
language or
school
work
might
a problem
.  She switched effortlessly
between
English
and
Spanish
.
W
hen Joe stopped speaking Spanish altogether, not wanting to be seen as a “dago” by his classmates
,
she
told him that the word referred to Italians
,
and his friendship with the Fannellis did nothing to erase the label; no one had to tell him that it was a highly derogatory label.

Lola and Estelle learned to cook together.  Sometimes it worked and everyone was relieved; other times it was not very successful and everyone ate it dutifully.  They all knew that they could not afford to throw away food—even poorly cooked food.

One day
Wulf came
home
with his ditty bag over his shoulder and a scowl on his face
.
He threw his ditty bag in the corner and grabbed Lola’s arm. 
“What
’
ve you been up to?”

“
Waiting for you to come home
.”  Lola
tried to free her arm
.
  “Herman, you’re hurting me.”

“Then why did the grocer say you weren’t happy to see my ship come in?”

“
What?
”

“If you
’
ve been fooling around while I’m
at s
e
a
…”  He left the sentence unfinished
,
and Lola
watched
his anger building
into rage
.

“
Wulf
, I swear before the Blessed Virgin that I could
n’t
even think of such a thing
.
  You
’
re my husband and I love you with all my heart.  You must
’ve misunderstood.
” 

“He said even he was happier to see me
come home than you are.  How could I misunderstand that?  I don’t even know the guy.”

If
Wulf
hadn’t
been
so violently angry, Lola would have laughed.  “
Herman, he likes to see you because you come home with money in your pocket.  No matter how hard I scrimp and save, I never have enough to last until you come back, and I run up a tab at the grocery.  Every time you come
home,
I pay it off. 
That’s
why he’s so happy to see you.  It was a joke.”

When
Wulf
shipped out again, Lola used some of her money to buy a second-hand sewing machine.  She began a serious search for a way to use her skills to earn a little extra money.  She finally found a manufacturer who made silk
neck
ties and had women sew them at home for nine cents a dozen.  She had to be very careful with the delicate silk that was cut on a bias and could easily stretch out of shape.  It was slippery and hard to handle, but she soon got the hang of it.  She used her first pay to buy herself some fabric to make a new dress.  She hadn’t had a new dress since she came to the U.S. and she wanted to look nice for
Wulf
.  She wanted him to be happy to see her and not worry about things that never happened.

Sadly, the new dress only made matters worse.  “Who
’
re you dressing up for when I’m gone?” 
T
ears spotted the new dress as she told him she only wanted to make him proud of her.  As before, he relented and put his arms around her, apologizing for making her unhappy.  She was afraid to ask him to speak to Estelle about her new friend.  He would surely think the worst of her accepting rides home from school on the back of a motorcycle
.
  Lola was worried about Estelle, but she was even more worried about what
Wulf
might do or say if she told him about it.  She did ask him to speak to Joe about school and the importance of an education.  The talk ended in a shouting match
that nearly
escalate
d
into violence.

Each time
Wulf
went to sea Lola worked long after the children were sleeping to complete more and more silk ties.  The harder she worked, the shorter her temper became; the more Estelle and Joe resisted school, the more her frustration turned to anger.  By the time
Wulf
returned, she felt like she was holding herself together by sheer will power. 
S
he paid the grocer and the back rent; the children went to school, and she put away the ties
until he left the next time
.

“Funny thing,” said
Wulf
one day when he had just returned from another trip.  “I met a
guy
from Peru on this voyage
—Rudolfo
. 
He was an awful braggart, but I listened ‘cause it reminded me of the old days.
He told a tall tale about two
sisters, and o
ne of them was named Lola.  Isn’t that funny?”  The glass
in Lola’s hand
dropped to the floor
and shattered.
 
She
clutched the edge o
f the sink as her knees buckled
.