It's Now or Never (14 page)

When we got back outside Alex bent his head down to avoid the contraption fixed to my head and peered into my eyes.

‘Are you all right?'

‘Do I look all right? No, I'm not all right. I look absolutely ridiculous in this get-up and feel sick to my stomach.'

In fairness I probably didn't look any more ridiculous than I had a few days earlier when I'd bumped into Alex in the department store dressed as a tomato, but at least then I was only required to look the part. Here, I suspected something else might be required of me.

I looked and felt totally self-conscious, whereas Alex managed to look quintessentially cool, rugged and totally at ease in his gear. As though he should be appearing on the cover of Outdoor Pursuits Monthly. A big smile spread across his lips.

‘Come on, Jen, shall we go and get this done?'

‘Do we have to? Can't we please just go home? Find a nice little pub where we can warm ourselves up and get something to eat?'

‘Ha ha, you're so funny, Jen. Of course we can't go home, we've only just got here. Don't worry, you'll love it. I promise you will. Come over here, let me show you.'

He took hold of my hand and led me over to a viewing platform. From our vantage position high up in the sky, sheer cliffs descended to either side of us lining a vast lake that disappeared off into the distance. It looked as though we were on the edge of the world and I was desperate to get off.

‘What happens? How do we get down?' I asked, not really wanting to know the answer. ‘Is there some sort of cable car,' I said, suddenly spotting the parallel wires running from another platform a little further along. A cable car would be okay. I could close my eyes and hang onto Alex's arm for dear life.

‘It's a zip wire. You'll be harnessed to that overhead cable and travel down the line over the water. It's the most amazing experience, Jen. Exhilarating.'

‘Ha ha ha ha ha ha,' I laughed in a breathless, slightly hysterical fashion so that the people gathered on the other platform looked over at me. I looked at Alex who was wearing his absolutely deadly serious face. ‘What? You're not kidding? You really expect me to risk my life by going on that thing? No way!'

‘You'll be fine. It's perfectly safe. And we'll go down at the same time. You did say you wanted a bit of excitement and adventure, Jen. What better place to start.'

I gulped. Alex clearly knew nothing about me. If he did he would know that this was wrong on so many levels. When I'd said adventure I meant purely from an observational standpoint, not from a gung-ho, let's get involved standpoint. I'd wanted to travel and see wonderful sights around the world; I wanted to stand on a remote golden beach and gaze in awe at a magnificent night sky; I wanted to explore clear blue Caribbean seas and its collection of exotic marine life from the safety of a glass-bottomed boat or view powerful raging waterfalls against a backdrop of dramatic scenery.

If none of those things were available I'd be more than happy to be wined and dined by an extremely gorgeous man and then spend the night with him in his bed while he made mad passionate love to me. My views on casual relationships had changed dramatically over the last couple of weeks, especially as far as Alex was concerned.

One thing I knew for certain was that I didn't want to be freezing my tits off on what was turning out to be the coldest day of the year, standing on the edge of a cliff, being coerced into what was a certain step to my imminent death.

‘Alex, I'm sorry, this is really lovely of you to arrange this, but I simply can't do this. I don't do heights, I'm afraid.'

He grabbed hold of my forearms and looked into my face, his eyes beseeching.

‘You can do this, Jen. It is the most wonderful life-affirming experience. When you take a step off that platform and whizz down that line it will take your breath away. You will never have felt so alive in your whole life. You'll get to the other side and have the most amazing feeling of joy and satisfaction.'

‘The other side? I'm really not ready to go there, Alex.'

‘Stop it,' he said. I could tell he was trying not to laugh and at that moment I thought my infatuation with Alex might be well and truly over. Yep, there was definitely more fish in the sea. Preferably more of the friendly laidback variety than the woman-eating shark variety. His grasp, on my shoulders now, tightened.

‘You're shaking. I promise you I wouldn't have brought you here if I didn't think you could do this.'

I could feel my teeth chattering and my whole body trembling in fear and cold.

‘See that kid over there. He's twelve and he's been down three times already. If he can do it, you can too, Jen.'

‘Bully for him!' I said petulantly. ‘He's clearly that type of irritating child who does wild adventurous things. Like trampolining and tree climbing. I wasn't like that as a child and I'm certainly not like that now. He can go up and down a hundred times for all I care, but I don't want to!'

I could quite easily have sobbed, but I was determined to hang onto the tiny bit of dignity I had left.

‘Why don't I drive down to the bottom and wait for you in the cafe. I'll order us a nice pot of tea and some rock cakes. Who knows, I might even live really dangerously and order some carrot cake instead. Does that sound adventurous enough for you?'

Alex wasn't impressed by my feeble attempt at humour.

‘I can't force you to do this, Jen, but I think you should at least give it a try. You'll feel amazing when you've done it. I promise you. And just think how proud you'll feel. Hell, I'll be proud too. Sometimes you just need to feel the fear and do it anyway.'

This was just what I needed, a motivational pep talk from Alex. Uncharitably I gave a fleeting thought to the owner of those damned earrings and wondered what she might do in the circumstances. I felt certain she would be the adventurous type who would be only too willing to throw herself off a cliff or at Alex's feet, whatever he asked her to do.

He led me gently by the hand over to the aptly named launch platform.

‘It will all be over in a few minutes,' he said ominously, as though leading me to my death – and I still wasn't sure if that was the case or not.

I closed my eyes and let myself be manhandled by the instructors who strapped me up, checked my harnesses, touched me in places no self-respecting woman wants to be touched in broad daylight, gave me a good talking to, which I think amounted to ‘hold on tight' but I couldn't be entirely sure as by that stage I entered another realm. My eyes were stinging, my legs were wobbly and Alex was waving at me like a lunatic, trussed up from the other wire.

‘We're in this together, Jen. Deep breaths and we'll go on three.' Suddenly there was a whole chorus in my ear. One… Two… On ‘three', my breath was taken from me and I stepped into the abyss, a huge cavern of nothingness opening up beneath my legs.

‘Oh my… aargh!' My mouth opened involuntarily and I screamed, unable to stop, although I couldn't hear any sound coming out, just the wind rushing past my ears and my suit whipping madly around my body. I dared to look down for a moment, quickly deciding that was a very bad move and focused my gaze into the distance instead.

‘Aargggh!' An invisible force pressed down hard on my newly acquired accelerator button as the line picked up supersonic speed and I whizzed through the air, a flying unhappy uptight wasp on a death mission. I snapped my eyes shut and held my breath tight. When I forced myself to open them again I gasped, energised by the adrenalin rushing through my veins. An all encompassing power filled my body. Suddenly I felt super-human, invincible and totally alive, invigorated by my own bravery and the beauty of my surroundings. As I came down to land, swooping through the air like superwoman, I realised my mouth was still wide open and now I could hear the sound belting out from my lungs. It wasn't a scream any more, but a joyous whoop of delight.

Moments later Alex ran over to greet me, a huge smile spread across his face, before he scooped me up in his arms, holding me aloft like a trophy.

‘What did I tell you? You're amazing, Jen. You did it. See, you are adventurous. I knew it all along, it just needed coaxing out of you. You realise you could do anything you wanted to do now. Doesn't that make you feel amazing?'

‘Yes!'

I was bold. I was brave. I was all those things and more.

‘You want to do it again?'

My feet were fixed firmly on the ground. I'd made it to the other side, alive and in one piece. I could do anything I wanted to.

‘Absolutely not. It was amazing, thrilling, exhilarating, but now I've found my adventurous gene, I'm putting it firmly back in its box. When it comes to adventure you can definitely have too much of a good thing!'

Chapter Sixteen

‘Do you know, Jen, you surprised me today. For a moment there I honestly thought you would back out and refuse to do it.'

After our afternoon tea with clotted cream scones, which to my way of thinking was the absolute highlight of our trip, we started on the long drive home. Thankfully Alex decided to take the return journey at a much more leisurely pace and I felt much more inclined to sit back in my seat, look out the window and watch the world go by, and truly relax for the first time that day.

‘Excuse me! If I remember correctly, I did refuse to do it, but you completely ignored me,' I said, accusingly. ‘You made me do it!'

He chuckled.

‘I didn't make you do it. I just persuaded you that it might be a good idea and you finally came round to my way of thinking. Most people do in the end.'

‘You virtually pushed me off the edge,' I said, looking across at him with half a smile.

‘But can you imagine how you would feel right now if you hadn't done it? You must have an enormous sense of achievement.'

‘I guess so,' I admitted reluctantly. ‘But that's not to say I'd want to do anything like that ever again.'

‘Some people would have walked away from that today, but you didn't. Mind you, I guess anyone brave enough to sport a tomato outfit and parade themselves in public has to be brave enough to go down a zip wire.'

If he hadn't been driving, I would have thrown something at him.

‘Oh god, would you stop it.' I buried my head in my hands, my face burning red at the memory. ‘I really don't want to be reminded of that day. It was awful. And then bumping into you like that. It couldn't have been more humiliating.'

‘I think you fell at my feet actually, but you know, that's perfectly understandable. A lot of women do. Tomatoes too, it seems.'

I gave him a withering look. Observing him in profile as he drove, it was easy to see why women would throw themselves at him. His jawline was strong and his shoulders broad, his powerful physicality filling the car. Dark brown wavy hair framed his face. His mouth, wide and full, curled at the edges giving the impression he was permanently amused and his eyes with their multitude of hues, drew you in with their magnetic qualities.

‘Seriously though, Jen,' he said, turning to give me the benefit of that gaze, ‘I think it's great that you're making these changes in your life. You said you wanted to do it and now you're doing it. It must be a good feeling.'

‘It is, I'm feeling very confident about the future. Gramps is home from hospital now and doing well and I'm excited for all the new opportunities I have in front of me. Life's good.'

Finally I felt a sense of control over my life, steering it in a new direction of my own making. I'd spent far too long standing still. All I needed was a small push, not unlike the one Alex had given me up on that hillside today.

I'd received several small pushes in recent months, from all different directions: Angie getting married; Gramps moving on with Marcia; re-reading Mum's letter after all these years; and even Alex coming into my life had ignited my desire to grab hold of my life again and do something with it. I was trying not to over-think things or look too far ahead. Despite what Alex might say, no one could know what the future might hold.

‘Do you fancy a nightcap?' Alex asked when we'd arrived back in Casterton.

‘I'd love one,' I said. I'd been wanting a drink ever since I'd landed with a bump after my inaugural and final trip down that cable line. I think I deserved one after I'd escaped the clutches of death. And if it meant spending more time with Alex then it was all to the good.

We went to the Rose and Crown, a popular pub in town which was heaving with the Saturday night crowd. We managed to find a couple of stools at the very end of the bar. My body was aching with tiredness but my mood was heady and light.

‘Here's to new beginnings,' said Alex, raising his glass to mine.

‘New beginnings,' I said, feeling a flutter of excitement in my stomach.

‘You know, if there's anything you think I might be able to help with then you only need ask. Obviously I don't know anything about your particular line of work, but I do have quite a few contacts locally I can put you in touch with if you're interested; there's a great accountant I use and the editor of the local newspaper is a friend of mine, so I can always put a good word in for you if you wanted to pitch him some ideas.'

‘Thanks, Alex,' I said, touched by his offer. He was looking at me with a genuine warmth and sincerity in his eyes. He'd seen me at my best, on the day of Angie's wedding, and at my worst, when I was dressed as a tomato, and he seemed to like me in both guises, treating me with kindness and respect. Before he'd picked me up this morning I wondered if there might be any awkwardness between us or if we would run out of things to say to each other, but twelve hours later and the excitement and anticipation I felt was as if I was seeing him for the first time again.

‘I've really enjoyed myself today, Alex, and I've done something that I wouldn't have done if it hadn't been for you.'