It's Now or Never (17 page)

‘Well, I suppose it's a bit delicate. One of those things you don't like to talk about.'

‘You can tell me, you know that, Gramps.' I was getting concerned now seeing his troubled expression. Had he received some bad news from the hospital? ‘What is it? You're getting me worried now.'

‘Oh, it's nothing to worry about. I just wanted you to know that I've been to the solicitor's and had my will properly drawn up.' I could feel the relief seep from my shoulders.

‘You have?'

‘Yes. I wanted to get everything in order and to know that when I go you won't have a mess of paperwork to deal with. I've got a folder here with all the details in of my will and a few insurance policies, and the solicitor's details too. I'll keep it in the top drawer of the bureau.'

‘Okay, Gramps, although I really do hope you're not intending on going anywhere soon.'

He chuckled, his warm brown eyes shining.

‘Definitely not, but I feel happier knowing I've got my affairs in order. I can forget about it all now and get on with my life. Of course, everything will be coming to you; the house and a couple of small savings plans. It'll give you a bit of security at least for when you're a bit older and you have a family of your own.'

‘Aw, Gramps.' I reached over and squeezed his hand and I had to swallow hard on the emotion forming at the back of my throat. I didn't want to think about a time when I would need to see that wretched folder again, but I could appreciate the peace of mind it gave to Gramps knowing everything was sorted out now.

‘You know,' I said, trying to inject some light-heartedness into the conversation, ‘there's still time to sell the house and cash in your insurance policies and use them to fund a luxury world cruise or buy an Italian sports car or a little cottage by the sea.'

‘Ha, I'll bear that in mind, but actually, love, I'm really happy with my lot here. I couldn't leave this place because it would be like leaving your nan behind. Then there's my allotment and you and Harvey. Everything I love and hold dear is around here. I don't ask for anything more than that really. And I've got Marcia to think about too now.' He dropped his gaze, wet his finger with his tongue and picked up the crumbs from his plate. ‘You do like Marcia, don't you, Jen?'

‘Of course, I just said so, didn't I?'

‘Yes, but you're not just saying that to keep me happy, are you?

‘No, of course not. I must admit I felt a bit strange about it when you first got together, but now I think it's really lovely that you found such a good friend in her.'

‘Good, good. Just thought I'd check because I've been doing a lot of thinking in that direction.'

‘Have you?' I said, intrigued now.

‘Yes.' He was wringing his hands together, looking more uncomfortable by the moment. ‘Oh, there's no easy to way to say this, Jen, but I wanted to ask how you'd feel if Marcia and I, well if we … you know… got together… took our relationship to the next level?'

I looked at him, eyes wide, wondering what on earth it was he was asking me.

‘The next level?'

‘Yes. Marcia's come to mean a bit more to me than being just a friend these last few weeks.'

‘Oh, I see,' I said, not really wanting to think about the implications of that.

‘Being ill like that, so suddenly and so unexpectedly, made me realise just how precious life can be. I don't know how long I've got left, love, but I do know I want to make the most of every moment I'm given. Your nan was the love of my life. My soulmate. And no one will ever replace her in my heart. But to be honest with you, I'm not very keen on living on my own and Marcia and I have become very good companions. I thought I might ask her to marry me?'

‘Marry her?' Hastily I rearranged my features to cover up my complete shock.

‘I know I said there would be no other woman for me, after your nan went, but I've got to face facts love, your nan's not here any more and Marcia is. And I think it would make Marcia happy to put things on a more formal footing. But I wanted to talk to you first about it because you know I would never want to do anything that might upset you.'

‘You don't think it's a bit soon? Shouldn't you wait until you know each other a little better. What's the hurry?'

Gramps gave a small laugh and a disapproving look.

‘Sweetheart, I'm seventy-eight! That's the hurry! It's not as though I've got a lot of time left, but what I have got left I want to spend with the woman I love. What's so wrong with that?'

‘Nothing, I suppose.' I'd grown fond of Marcia, yes, but I wasn't sure I fancied her as my step-grandmother and to hear him say he actually loved Marcia pierced my heart in a way I wasn't sure I wanted to acknowledge.

‘You know sometimes I've felt as though I've been holding you back, Jen. That you feel a responsibility for me that is stopping you from living your own life to the full. I don't want that. To be a burden on you. I've got Marcia now to keep an eye out for me. That's not to say that you won't always be at the centre of my world. You're the light of my life, you know that?' He leant over and tipped my chin with his finger. ‘But I want you to get out there and do your own thing without having to worry about me the whole time.'

‘I've never felt you've been holding me back,' I said, trying hard to hide the sadness from my voice. Everything I'd ever done for Gramps I'd only done because I'd wanted to. Maybe it was the other way around and it was me cramping his style. Is that what he was trying to tell me?

‘Sorry, if I've made you feel that way,' I added.

‘Don't be silly. You've nothing to apologise for. You're the best granddaughter I could ever have wished for. But if I'm going to be marrying Marcia, I would want to do that knowing I had your blessing.'

I took a deep breath, pulled up my big girl knickers and plastered a big smile on my face.

‘If it's what you want then of course you have my blessing, Gramps. Come here,' I said, beckoning him over for a hug. ‘I'm really happy for you.'

I buried my head in his woolly cardigan knowing that things would never be the same again. That part of our life, just me and Gramps together – playing Scrabble, going down the club for a pint of beer and a glass of wine, nights spent in watching repeats of
Midsomer Murders
– was over. Maybe it was a good thing. If I was ever going to do all those things Mum would have wanted me to do I couldn't be stuck at home every night with Gramps watching telly.

‘I can't tell you what a relief that is, Jen. I haven't asked Marcia yet, I wanted to clear it with you first. Honestly if you'd said to me you didn't want me to do it, then I wouldn't go through it. Your happiness means that much to me, Jen, you know that.'

‘Oh Gramps, you've got to start putting yourself first. It'll be amazing, a new chapter in your life. I can just imagine Marcia's face when you ask her. Have you decided how you might do it?'

‘Well I won't be getting down on one knee that's for sure. If I did that, I might never get back up again, but I'll make sure to make a special occasion of it. I'll take her out to a posh restaurant and propose over a romantic dinner. I don't know what she'll say. She might turn me down yet so I wouldn't start shopping for a new dress just at the moment. We'll have to wait and see.'

‘Don't be daft. There's no way Marcia is going to say no, she's going to be so thrilled.'

First Angie and now Gramps. Didn't they say weddings, like buses, come in threes. I gave a passing thought to who might be next.

‘I'm so glad we've got that out in the open because I don't like us having any secrets, do you?'

‘No, of course not.'

Gramps fell quiet for a moment, looking at me gravely from across the table.

‘So there's nothing you want to tell me about then?' he asked.

I shifted uneasily in my chair.

‘Er no, why?'

‘Well I just had an inkling, call it a grandfather's intuition, that there might be something going on in your life that you're keeping from me. Not that I want to intrude. I'm sure if there is anything you'll tell me in your own time.'

There was a mischievous twinkle to his eye and I wondered how he could possibly know. Was it because I'd been going round with a silly smile on my face these last few days or had he noticed a glow to my skin that had been missing in recent months?

I never could keep anything from him.

‘Oh Gramps,' I said, giving him a shy smile. ‘How could you tell? There is someone but it's early days yet. We've been out a couple of times together, but I honestly don't know if it will go any further than that. He's different to any man I've met before. He's intelligent, funny, rich, oh and drop-dead handsome too.' I could hear the note of longing in my own voice. ‘I really like him, but I'm not certain how he feels about me or if he's ideal boyfriend material.'

‘Ha ha, is that so,' said Gramps, a smile lighting up his face. ‘Well I wasn't expecting that!'

‘You weren't? But you said…'

‘No, this is what I meant,' he said, getting out the local paper from the wicker basket and opening up the pages. Pride of position on page three was a glorious colour photo of a lovely lady showing off the delights of a vegetable slicer standing next to a plump ripe tomato on legs.

‘Oh my god!'

‘It is you, isn't it? I knew it! I'd recognise that cheeky smile anywhere. What on earth were you doing, love?'

I giggled.

‘It was a job. Thankfully only a two-day job, but yes I took the starring role of the tomato. I'm only pleased they didn't publish my name in that article. Only a granddad would recognise me beneath that outfit. I'm sure no one else would.'

‘Yes, I think you're probably right.' Gramps was still laughing. ‘The lads down at the Legion couldn't believe it was you when I showed them.'

‘Please tell me you didn't, Gramps.'

He nodded affectionately.

‘Well I'm proud of you whatever you do. Look, you'll have to bring your new young man round here so I can get to meet him. I'll give him the once-over and tell you whether I think he's right for you. Mind you, I remember you thinking the last one was ideal boyfriend material and look what happened to him?'

‘Yeah, you're right there, Gramps,' I said with a sigh.

Gramps tilted his head to the ceiling, a mischievous smile on his lips.

‘What do you think your nan would be saying if she's up there looking down at us right now?'

‘Ooh, she'd be furious about you getting married again, I'm sure!'

‘I know, she'd be bloomin' livid.' His laughter was so contagious that I couldn't help myself from joining in. ‘She'd be loving you as a tomato though. That would keep her giggling for days on end. And as for that new young man of yours, I'm sure your nan will be putting him through an extensive vetting procedure as we speak. If she thinks he's right for you, then everything will work out for the best and if she doesn't, it won't. It's as simple as that.'

If only it was as simple as that, I thought with a wry smile.

‘Life has to move on, isn't that right, Jen? For all of us. You know, in the absence of some champagne, do you think we ought to have another pot of tea and an extra slice of cake to celebrate this fantastic news?'

Any excuse for an extra slice of cake was always a good one for me. While Gramps refilled the teapot I cut into the lemon drizzle cake. I'd be delighted to extend my congratulations to Marcia the next time I saw her. Anyone who could make cakes as good as these had to be a welcome addition to our little family.

Chapter Nineteen

I'd spent three long weeks working at SBB Engineering and I was slowly losing the will to live. Three weeks of my life that I'd never be able to get back. When Polly had offered me the new assignment I'd made sure to quiz her on whether the role would require any dressing up in ridiculous costumes. When she'd assured me it didn't, I'd jumped at the opportunity. My priority I realised had to be to earn as much money as I possibly could to supplement my freelance income to enable me to do all the exciting things I wanted to do.

Instead of being thrown into a stimulating and challenging new environment with dynamic new people, as I'd hoped and expected, I was stuck alone, in a top floor office of a company that sourced and supplied ball bearings.

The tiny office had only a small window which slightly worryingly had bars against it, a single desk and chair and hundreds of box files that seemed to date back to pre-millennium times – stacked in dangerous Jenga style piles around the room, just waiting to topple over and pin me to the floor. On the windowsill was a forlorn pot plant that I took it upon myself to nurture back to health. In the absence of anyone else to talk to, I gave it a few encouraging words each day and some much overdue water.

‘Hello, how's it going?' Kelly the office manager, the only other person I'd met since I'd started at SBB, poked her head round the door of the office. She was friendly in a forced, unnatural way, which made me suspect she actually hated me beneath the cheery persona. She'd spoken about Bob and Michael and sales directors and ‘the team', but I hadn't actually seen another soul and I was beginning to wonder if they weren't all a figment of her imagination and this wasn't just a one-woman operation.

‘Great' I said, opting not to tell her that I was close to slitting my wrists at the sheer mind-numbing drudgery of the task in front of me. ‘Slowly, but I'm getting there.'

‘Yes.' She peered over my shoulder at the computer print-outs on my desk, I could feel her disappointment wafting over me in a low cloud of gloom. ‘We were hoping you might be a bit further along than you are, but hopefully you'll speed up as you get more used to the product details.'