It's Now or Never (19 page)

I raised my eyebrows at her, chewing on the inside of my cheek, wondering whether I shouldn't just let it go. But I'd heard Alex's side of the story. I needed to hear Angie's now.

‘Not so badly that you weren't interested in him yourself at one time?'

She snapped her attention onto my face.

‘What do you mean?'

‘Alex said you two had a bit of a flirtation at one time. Is that right?'

‘Oh the bastard! So much for him being a gentleman. He promised me he wouldn't say anything. It was embarrassing, a one-off. If Tom ever finds out he'd go absolutely mad.'

‘Don't be silly! Alex would never say anything and neither would I. It was just that he was pressing me on why I had such strong views about the sort of person he was and I had to admit they kind of came from you.'

Our eyes locked together and we giggled and I knew immediately she was forgiven, if I'd ever had anything to be cross with her about in the first place.

‘Oh god,' she said, ‘I feel awful now. I was never seriously interested in Alex in that way. I promise you! It was when Tom and I were on one of our breaks, before you'd even met Alex, and I was at a low ebb. I might even have been a little drunk too. I thought a flirtation with Alex might give me a lift, but he wasn't having any of it. Honestly, can you imagine what that did to my ego. Alex has had a whole string of girlfriends, I thought he'd jump at the chance of a fling, but he didn't want anything to do with it. Mind you, I realise now it was a good job one of us had some sense. If anything had happened it would have made things very awkward between Tom and me.'

‘Angie, I just wish you'd said something to me.'

‘Sorry,' she said, with a sheepish grin. ‘I just felt embarrassed by that whole episode. So what about you and Alex then? Are you officially a couple now?'

‘No, nothing like that. We've been out on a couple of dates, that's all, but I've got a feeling I'm getting to that dangerous three-month cut off point.' I pulled a face, making a slashing motion against my neck, making Angie laugh.

‘Maybe I haven't been very fair towards Alex,' said Angie, examining her fingernails. ‘I'm sure with the right woman he'd make the perfect partner. I just don't know if the perfect woman for him exists out there. Mind you, I think I probably have a lot to be thankful to Alex for at the moment. He took Tom out to dinner the other night and I'm not sure what it was he said to him but Tom's been much more attentive ever since.'

‘Really? How come?'

‘Well he came home from seeing Alex and we had a bit of a heart-to-heart. He admitted that he'd found it a shock when he first realised I was pregnant and that he'd struggled to come to terms with the idea, but he told me how much he loved me and he apologised for acting like a complete oaf at times.'

‘Wow! Well that's good. Perhaps he's beginning to realise what marriage is all about and how lucky he is to have you and your unborn baby.'

‘Yes, I think it was quite brave of him actually. To admit to those feelings. I think he was frightened that everything was going to change and he didn't seem to have any control over that, but we've talked it through and I think we're in a much better place now. He's agreed to make sure he leaves work on time at least a couple of nights a week. And we're going to make Sunday a family day when we get to do something together. Tom's really looking forward to the baby arriving now and I'm feeling happier about things.'

‘I'm really pleased about that, Angie.' Could Alex really have said something that had made Tom stop and think about the way he was behaving? Or perhaps my little rant had hit a nerve with him after all. Either way, it didn't really matter. As long as Tom and Angie were getting on better then that was everything.

‘Fancy another cuppa?' said Angie, as she eased herself out of the chair. ‘I just need to pop to the loo and then I'll pop the kettle one, I seem to spend my whole life in there these days. Ooh, could you get that for me,' she asked, hearing the doorbell ring.

I walked down the hallway, feeling relieved that everything was out in the open now. I opened the door and smiled, taking the package from the delivery man.

‘Oh hello love, how's it going?' It was Mr White Van Man, looking much bigger, much broader and altogether more scary up close. He craned his neck to look behind me. ‘Has that baby arrived yet?'

‘Ah yes, sorry about that, it was something of a false alarm, I'm afraid.' I almost felt guilty that I didn't have a baby in my arms to show him, but thankfully Angie took the moment to waddle out, giving some credence to my story.

‘Actually, Jen, I'm not sure it was a false alarm.' She was standing, legs apart, looking unbelieving at the small pool of water forming a puddle at her feet. ‘Either I've wet myself or my waters have just broken.'

‘Oh my god, what does that mean?' My voice came out in a strangulated cry.

‘Blimey! Is this your first time or something love?' said White Van Man to me. ‘I'm not a health professional but even I know what that means. You need to get your rubber gloves on and the towels out, and look a bit lively. Do you want me to stay and help?'

‘No!' Angie and I said together firmly, as he was already rolling his sleeves up, a gleeful look on his face. ‘We'll be absolutely fine.'

We scooped up Angie's belongings and rushed, as much as a heavily pregnant woman can rush, to the car. The journey to the hospital went at a much more sedate pace than the mad dash I'd made from work as I was conscious of Angie sitting beside me wincing every time we went over a bump.

‘You are all right, aren't you?' I said peering at her in the passenger seat as she pulled all sorts of faces. ‘Please darling, I love you dearly, but don't have this baby in my car.'

Angie managed to giggle through the heavy breathing.

‘Stop panicking. I'm fine. For a woman in labour. Just get me to the hospital. Did you put my bags in the back of the car?'

‘Yes. And I spoke to Tom too. He was already on his way home so he said he'd go straight to the hospital and meet us there.'

‘I still can't believe this is actually happening,' sighed Angie. She cradled her bump in her arms. ‘To think that when I go back to the house again I'll be taking a baby with me. It's surreal. I'm so glad you're here with me. I wouldn't have wanted to take this trip on my own. Actually there's something I want to ask you Jen and I don't know why I haven't asked you before. Would you stay with me for the birth? Be my birth partner? It would mean the world to me.'

I felt the blood drain from my face and a peculiar feeling of lightheadedness come over me.

‘Really? Well, of course… If you'd like me to. I just thought, with it being your first child, you'd want it to be just you and Tom.'

Angie had her lips pursed together before bursting out with laughter.

‘Ha ha, your face! I really had you going there, didn't I? No, darling, you're off the hook. I love you dearly but I wouldn't want you there at the birth of my child because I wouldn't want to see your worried face looking at me the whole time. You'd be panicking and that would only make me worry more. No, at least I can rely on Tom to be totally unfazed and laidback about the whole thing. That's if he turns up!'

Relief slumped through my shoulders. I didn't want to be Angie's birth partner, or anyone else's come to that. In fact, if I could arrange it so that I wouldn't need to be present at the births of my own babies, I would. Of course I would have agreed to stay with Angie if she'd wanted me to, but the thought of seeing my friend suffer so much pain and discomfort I really didn't relish. I'd much rather cheer from the sidelines, or more pertinently, the pub.

‘Of course he'll be there!' And if he wasn't, I'd physically go and find him, and drag him there screaming and kicking, if necessary. Anything to ensure I wouldn't have to be his stand-in.

Chapter Twenty-One

Thankfully that wasn't necessary as when we arrived at the hospital Tom was waiting outside, looking incredibly nervous while practising his pacing up and down routine. My heart lifted to see Alex with him, a strange mix of affection and desire filling every fibre of my body.

‘Do you think we should go and wet the baby's head?' asked Alex, after we'd seen Angie and Tom off into the maternity suite, wishing them the best of luck.

‘Aren't you supposed to do that after the baby's born?'

‘Yeah, but there's no harm in starting early. Besides, from what I've heard this labour lark can be a long and drawn-out process. We're going to need some sustenance to see us through.'

We found it in the form of a very nice bottle of Chablis and a steak burger, oozing cheese and mushrooms and thousands of calories I didn't doubt, along with a portion of chunky chips in a lovely little gastro pub in town. We sat in cosy armchairs next to a wood-burning stove and a sense of euphoria engulfed me. My stomach was full, my head was light, I no longer had to go and sit in that grotty little office, my best friend was about to give birth and a gorgeous man was sitting opposite me, smiling fondly. Could it get any better than this?

‘Angie was saying that Tom is a changed man these days, and apparently it all came about after meeting up with you the other night. What on earth did you say to him?'

Alex smiled in that way of his that suggested he knew something I didn't which always spoke directly to the depths of my stomach.

‘Oh, you know, it was just one of those man-to-man things. To be honest I think you had him worried after your run-in with him. We did have a bit of a heart-to heart. He asked me what I thought and if you might have a point or not.'

‘And what did you say?'

‘I said it didn't really matter what you or I thought, it was how he and Angie felt about things that mattered. I think it was the first time he'd stopped to think about the enormity of what they'd done. Getting married, moving in together and having a baby together, it all happened in such a short space of time and to be honest, I think he found it a little overwhelming. He's adores Angie though, that much I do know and he's desperate not to mess things up this time. He wants to be a good dad to their new baby and, do you know, I think he will be. I think he's done a lot of growing up in these last few months.'

‘Yes, maybe it's just taken him a little time to get used to the idea of being a father.'

‘He's a lucky guy. And I told him that, but I also told him he couldn't afford to take things for granted. You can't go into a marriage with everything that entails and not give it a hundred percent. Otherwise what's the point?'

‘Exactly!'

I smiled ruefully and picked up my cappuccino, taking a sip from the frothy topping.

‘Listen to us. Sitting here as though we're experts on love and marriage.'

‘Well, it doesn't seem that difficult to me.'

‘Doesn't it? You've admitted most of your relationships have been short-term affairs. How can you possibly know the first thing about love and marriage? To me is seems like one of the most difficult things you can do in life. How do you know if the other person is the right one for you? When do you know if you're ready to make that next step to something more permanent, more lasting? How do you know if you can make it work together? There are so many questions and yet there can be no definitive answers.'

He narrowed his eyes at me, his mouth chewing thoughtfully on my words.

‘I think when you meet that special one then you just know. Deep down in here.' He banged his fist on his chest. ‘And then it isn't a difficult decision at all. You just have to take a chance.'

‘Is that what you're holding out for then?'

‘Yep, it is actually,' he said, fixing me with a determined gaze. And just biding his time with me and a whole load of other girls, I didn't doubt, in the meantime. Is that all I was to him? A diversion, someone to spend a few enjoyable nights with until he met that special girl? I looked away. I couldn't bring myself to hold the intensity of his gaze, it was far too intimate and intrusive, and hugely disconcerting as well. ‘What's so wrong with that?'

‘Nothing.' Of course there wasn't anything wrong with that. And why I should feel unsettled by his honesty I didn't know. I'd known exactly what I was getting into when I first hooked up with Alex. Angie had warned me and Alex had admitted himself he didn't do long-term relationships. Friends with benefits, isn't that what they called it. Only how could I have known the benefits were much more addictive and compelling than I could ever have imagined.

‘I was in a long-term relationship once. I do know what that's all about.'

‘Really?'

‘Yes, don't sound so surprised. Admittedly it was a long time ago now, but I have been there.'

‘What happened?' I asked, intrigued.

His brow furrowed, a deep groove settling in the spot between his eyes, which was a much safer place to focus on, I decided.

‘It ended badly. We were childhood sweethearts. Her parents were great friends of my parents so we kind of grew up together. Went to the same school together, had the same friends, shared birthdays and Christmases. It was kind of inevitable that we would become an item.'

‘Wow! That sounds pretty intense. How long were you together for?'

‘About five years. We got together when we were fourteen and split when we were nineteen.'

‘Why did you break up then? Did you just outgrow each other?'

‘Kind of. We got engaged. Had the big party and then…well basically I realised I didn't want to be engaged. I was far too young. I certainly didn't want to be thinking about marriage. I was nineteen and I suddenly woke up to a whole other world out there. I wanted to go travelling, date other girls, basically catch up on all those things I'd been missing out on in my teenage years. You can imagine, it didn't go down too well with my folks or with Clare's family. And, to my great regret, I broke Clare's heart.'