Walking back to the bookshelf, I picked up the same book he read out of and pushed it into his chest.
“You should try reading some time.”
“For you, my sweet Chelsey, I will.”
I swallowed hard past the lump his words created.
“So, Columbia, huh?”
He looked around my room, taking in my covered walls.
“What was your first guess?”
We both laughed.
“Looks like you have everything all figured out.”
“Pretty much. Don’t you?”
“Nah, but I’m working on that part.”
He was moving toward the window then, and I suddenly felt dread that he was leaving.
“Are you leaving?” I blurted before I could stop myself.
He smiled like he knew what I was thinking. “Yeah. I figure you good girl types need all the beauty sleep you can get.”
I rolled my eyes. “We’ll meet tomorrow in the library after lunch? I have a free period.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
And just as suddenly as he appeared, he was gone, taking any chance of a peaceful night’s sleep with him.
12
BLAINE
I DON’T KNOW WHAT MADE ME
sneak into Chelsey’s window. One minute I was in bed, lying there thinking about her, and then the next I was standing in front of her house like a crazy stalker.
She looked so sweet all half-asleep in her pink boxer shorts and white tank. It took everything in me not to lay her down in her bed and take advantage of her. Every time I pulled her body to mine I could feel she wasn’t wearing a bra. It was enough to make a sane man crazy.
Leaving her and going home was hard. Shit, I was hard. I hadn’t been with another girl since my date with Chelsey. It wasn’t for lack of girls, it was that none of them did it for me. All the things that turned me on before didn’t do it for me anymore.
Only her. She did it for me.
The following day, I met Chelsey in the library after lunch as promised. It was the first time in a long time that I spent an entire day in school, but I didn’t tell her that.
We busted ass on our project all week. I used the time to learn all I could about Chelsey Ford. I made sure to spread out my questions so I didn’t make it overly obvious about my interest in her.
On Thursday, when I walked into the library, I found Chelsey in the back at the same table we worked at all week, but this time she wasn’t alone.
My spine stiffened, and I felt a bolt of adrenaline fly through my veins at a dangerous speed. My heart rate picked up and the urge to punch something moved through me.
I recognized the jock who was looming over where Chelsey sat. Josh Porter was the mayor’s kid. He was another rich piece of shit with a bad attitude and an expensive wardrobe, but the truth was the ladies loved him. He probably got as much ass as I did.
He blocked Chelsey with his wide, linebacker shoulders, forcing me to move to the side just to be able to see her sweet face. She was smiling, and it sickened me that her smile was for Josh and not me.
I couldn’t hear what they were talking about, so I moved behind the tall bookcases so I could get closer without being noticed. I hid behind an endcap, my back against the smooth wood surface, and listened to their conversation.
“Is it because of that other guy?” Josh asked, and I wondered what that meant.
“You mean Blaine?”
“Is that his name?” Josh snorted. “
Blaine.
”
The way he said my name made me want to put my fist through his face. The fucker.
“It’s cute that you’re pretending not to know his name,” Chelsey teased.
I wanted to grin at her words, but I couldn’t tell if she was flirting or not. Turning, I held onto the sides of the bookcase, and peeked one eye around the corner. She looked so small next to Josh’s large frame. She was always beautiful to me, but something about the way she was looking up at him made her even prettier.
I wanted to rip his face off. I hated her attention being on him. She was mine. She just didn’t know it yet. I’d make it very clear to Josh later when I ripped his balls from his body.
“Look who’s got jokes.” Josh tugged on a piece of her hair and I could see Chelsey’s blush from where I stood.
My blood began to boil. The urge to go over and kick the living shit out of Josh was taking over. I wanted to beat him bloody and throw Chelsey over my shoulder like a fucking caveman.
Mine.
“Blaine’s just my friend.”
“Good to know, but if not him, then why won’t you go out with me?”
Are you fucking kidding me?
I moved, ready to interrupt their conversation and pull Chelsey from the library, but I stopped. I didn’t want to look like a jealous fucker.
“Things are crazy in my life right now. I don’t really have time for boys. The whole reason I have to do this extra credit project is because I let myself get too distracted.”
Josh continued to push. “All the more reason to have a little fun. Come on, I promise not to be too much of a distraction for you.”
His conniving grin made me feel sick to my stomach. I knew exactly what he was working toward. Josh and I weren’t all that different. I knew a panty chaser when I saw one, but it would be over my dead body if he touched her.
My teeth grinded together. I feared I might crack my molars with the force of my jaw, but still, I stayed in my place and watched from afar as some asshole tried to steal my girl.
She chewed on the inside of her lip, making me yearn to suck it and soothe where she nibbled. And then realization set it. She was actually considering going out with the piece of shit.
She sighed sweetly and looked up at him when her decision was made.
“One date.”
Her words were a blow to my chest. I leaned over and gasped when the breath was knocked from my body.
No.
I wouldn’t allow it.
Chelsey was
not
going out with him. It wasn’t going to happen. Ever.
He grinned like he’d just won the fucking female lottery… and he had. Chelsey was the grand prize. My grand prize. Not his.
“That’s all I’m asking for.” He leaned away from her and ran a single finger down her bare arm. I wanted to rip his finger from his hand. “I’ll get you the details later.”
“Okay.” She blushed again, making me want to scream in annoyance.
He slid from the table, tucked a piece of hair behind Chelsey’s ear, and then he was gone. I turned around, pressing into the bookcase again and dug the heels of my palms into my eyes.
All I could think about was chasing after Josh and breaking every bone in his body, starting with his fingers. I know I didn’t have any claim on Chelsey, not technically, but I’d stupidly thought there was something good between us. It was obvious now that I was the only one who felt that way, and it pissed me the fuck off.
I moved through the library quickly, knocking over books in my desperation to get the hell out of there—to get the hell away from Chelsey Ford and her sweet ways. I was done letting her mind fuck me. I thought I knew what I was doing when it came to her, but apparently not. I was fucking clueless, and I was fucking
done
.
**********
I DON’T KNOW WHAT POSSESSED ME
to stay in school for the rest of the day, but it was a bad fucking mistake. I was a complete dick to anyone and everyone who mistakenly stepped in my path. Teacher or student, it didn’t matter who the hell they were, I was sure to let them know they picked the wrong damn day.
When the final bell rang, I was out of the classroom before the halls even filled with students. I managed to get halfway toward the door before they began to spill out of the doors in a rush to get home.
Sheep.
They were a herd of Khaki-covered sheep who did exactly what their rich mommy and daddies wanted them to do. I’d never been more proud to be black—tarnished by my bad neighborhood and the druggies that dealt around me. Fuck the sheep. Fuck every last one of them, including Chelsey Ford.
I pushed and shoved my way through, in a rush to be away from anything that reminded me of her. I was almost to the door and free of the oppressive place called high school, when I felt her grab my sleeve
I’d managed to avoid her the entire day, but of course she’d seek me out before I could escape. I expected her to find me earlier when I’d obviously blew her off during lunch, but instead she’d hugged her books tighter to her chest and turned away, cutting into my heart with that look of hurt on her face.
“Blaine?” she asked for my attention, pulling on my arm.
I tugged my arm roughly from her grasp and muttered my harsh words at her. “Leave me the fuck alone, Chelsey.”
I left her standing on the other side of the school doors, stunned. I took the steps two at a time, forcing myself to ignore her, but then she was right on my heels.
“What the hell is your problem?” she spat, stepping in front of me and forcing me to stop or run into her.
Stopping, I pinched the bridge of my nose trying to calm the anger within. Just looking into her big, brown eyes burned.
“For starters, you and your inability to get a fucking clue.” I tried to side-step her, but she was in my path again. “Really?”
“What’s wrong?” she asked again.
“I think I already covered that part.”
“Don’t give me that bullshit, Blaine!” she roared.
The students who were walking past us slowed and gave us weird looks.
It was cloudy outside and the wind swirled around us, making Chelsey hug herself and move her hands up and down her arms.
“What’s wrong?” she repeated firmly.
“Honestly, Chelsey, I’m having a bad fucking day and you’re not making it any better.”
Actually, I was having a good day until I overheard her conversation with Josh. But I couldn’t tell her that. I didn’t want her to know I was a jealous freak. She didn’t need to know how I really felt about her. It was bad enough I felt like a total loser. I didn’t need her thinking it, too.
She flinched when I spoke to her, and again I had to force myself to ignore the hurt in her eyes.
“I don’t understand you, Blaine,” she whispered. “I thought… I thought we were—” She stopped as she searched her mind for the right words.
“You thought what?” I asked, annoyed. “What did you think, Chelsey? Come on. Tell me. Did you think we were an actual
we
? That there was something between us?”
“You know what? I’m done.” She threw her hands up. “When you decide to grow up, call me. Until then you can go straight to hell.”
She bumped into my shoulder as she walked past me, nearly running to get away from me. I wanted to run after her, but I knew chasing after her was like chasing after the sun. She was impossible to catch and when I got too close, she burned me.
13
CHELSEY
I HADN’T EXPECTED BLAINE TO SHOW
up to Mr. Liam’s class at our agreed time at all, much less with his part of our project finished. Especially after he was being such an asshole the day before.
I stayed up far too late and drank way too much coffee trying to finish his half of the project, but tears and a massive headache claimed what was left of my concentration.
I was prepared to accept my failing grade when I got there, but when I walked in, Blaine was there staring back at me with a devious smirk. He was anything but my knight in shining armor. And even though he showed up, I still wanted to slap his beautiful face.
I hate him.
No
, the tiny voice in my head corrected.
You want
to hate him
.
I was still in the dark when it came to Blaine’s sudden three hundred and sixty degree change, but by that point I was done dealing with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
Mr. Liam said he’d have our grades on Monday, which meant there wasn’t much of anything I could do but wait. I hated waiting and the unknown. I hated to think one simple project could affect my GPA so greatly. After all the hard work I’d put into my grades, a stupid D because of a stupid guy was changing things.
I wished Mr. Liam a good weekend, and left the classroom without a single word to Blaine. His eyes burned a hole in my back as I left the room.
I spent the next few periods in zombie mode, blaming my lack of participation on my lack of sleep. I was on autopilot with auto responses to the questions and conversations around me.
When final period came around, I couldn’t remember anything that led up to that point. I’d dazed through the day without a care for what the teachers were teaching or the answers I was putting on my papers. Again, it was all Blaine’s fault.
I was at my locker glaring at the contents within, when Lynn came skipping up to me.
“Hey stranger,” she said, poking me in the side. “I’ve barely seen you all week. I hope that means things are going good with Blaine?”
She shifted until her back rested against the lockers, as she lifted a suggestive brow.
The familiar look on her face, and the friendly, non-judgmental smile in her eyes was needed. It was the comfort I was desiring, but had yet to receive from anyone. I missed uncomplicated. I missed my boring, undramatic life. I missed life without Blaine, but then again, I missed Blaine.
See?
Complicated!
Everything I was thinking must’ve showed in my expression. Because suddenly Lynn’s smiled dropped and she moved closer to me.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, and her face crumbled with worry.
And then I did something I hadn’t done in a long time. I started to bawl. My tears weren’t pretty, and they weren’t quiet. No. I couldn’t have gotten off that easily. Instead, I sobbed uncontrollably and loudly, making the students who passed us stare.
Lynn slammed my locker shut and tugged me into the nearest girl’s bathroom. She left me at the sink while I let the tears fall, returning a few seconds later with tissue for me.
“Thank you.” I sniffed, sopping up my tears until the tissue fell apart in my fingers.
Once the water works stopped, and I swallowed the knot in my throat, I felt much better.
“Want to tell me what all that was about?” Lynn asked, tucking a strand of wet hair behind my ear.
She rested her hip against the counter with crossed arms and waited for me to get myself together.
I sighed. “I honestly have no idea where that came from, but I feel a hell of a lot better.”
She didn’t look at me like I was crazy, which was what I expected. Instead, she smiled at me before she burst into laughter. I held it in as long as I could, but soon I was laughing right along with her. The laughter felt even better than the tears.
Our giggles echoed off the bathroom walls, and I was sure everyone who walked by the door could hear our hysteria, but I didn’t care.
Wiping the laughter tears from my face, I took a deep, cleansing breath. Lynn did the same, smudging her eyeliner beneath her eyes.
“So, which is it?” she asked. “Your parents, school, or Blaine?”
I nodded, using my deteriorating tissue to collect any leftover tears. “All of the above.”
“Things didn’t go so well with Blaine this week?”
I hiccupped and shrugged. “No, not really. But I’m over that. Our project is done and turned in. That was my main concern. I just need to focus from here on out.”
“Can I tell you what I think you need?”
I pursed my lips to the side debating on how I wanted to answer that question. Lynn’s idea of how to handle things and my idea of how to handle things differed greatly.
“Go on,” I said cautiously.
“I think you need to relax, Chelsey. Like, forget everything. Screw your parents. And college. And everything else that’s bothering you. Having a good cry and laughing hysterically works, but remembering to have fun is a hell of a lot better.”
“There’s no time for fun,” I groaned.
“There is,” she insisted. “You have to make time. Promise me you’ll at least try to have some fun.”
I didn’t know how much fun I was going to have time to have, but it wasn’t going to hurt to agree to appease Lynn.
“Okay.” I smiled.
“Good.”
She seemed content, and that was all that mattered for now. She turned toward the mirror and I watched her reflection as she moved her fingers under her eyes and across her lips, fixing smudges.
When I found my own reflection I took in my puffy, red eyes and pale complexion. I almost didn’t recognize myself anymore. The stress of grades and college was beginning to run me down. It was aging me—turning me into an old hag way before my time. Maybe Lynn was right. Maybe I did need to remember to slow down and enjoy what was left of my teenage years.
My thoughts jumped to Blaine and all the fun he could offer, but then I remembered his face the day before, and the burn of his heated words. Swallowing down the hurt, I forced myself to push him from my mind.
The truth was Blaine was a ticking time bomb, and I didn’t want to be anywhere around him when karma caught up with him and his life exploded before his eyes. I didn’t need anyone else’s mess. I had a big enough mess of my own.
As soon as I pushed Blaine from my mind, Josh entered. I wasn’t an expert on boys, but that didn’t mean I didn’t know exactly what he was offering. They all wanted the same thing, and none of them had a clue they’d never get it from me.
Josh was attractive, but in a different way from Blaine. He was clean-cut and cute, while Blaine was a dirty mess of sexual tension. Both were dangerous in their own way, but Blaine was the one who truly scared me. He made me think of things I wasn’t ready for—made me want and need things a girl with my future shouldn’t want or need.
I didn’t tell Lynn about Josh asking me out. Something told me she’d have a field day with that tidbit of information. I wasn’t ready to talk about it, and I wasn’t even sure going on a date with Josh was what I wanted.
“Are you ready?” Lynn asked, zipping her small makeup bag and shoving it into her backpack.
“You go on.” I waved a hand her way. “I just want to make sure I have it all together before I brave the halls. You don’t think anyone saw me crying do you?”
“Nope. No one was around. Do you want me to wait with you?”
I shook my head. “No, I’m good. Thank you, though. And thanks for rescuing me earlier.”
“Always, babe. I’ll call and check on you later.”
“Okay.”
I waited until she left before I splashed my face with cold water a few times. Once the redness around my eyes faded a bit, I dried my hands and pushed my way through the bathroom door in a rush to get out of the school and home.
I ran straight into a wall of heat. The soft scent of deodorant and cologne moved over me. I took a deep pull of the masculine smell before I moved back and let my eyes wander. I knew who it was before I even saw his face, but still when my eyes met Blaine’s, I lost my breath.
His nostrils flared as his eyes moved over my flushed face. He was brooding, and I couldn’t tell if he was angry at me again or if it was worry I saw move through his expression. I also wasn’t exactly sure why he was camped out just outside the girl’s bathroom.
“If you’re waiting for someone, she’s not there anymore. I was the only one in there,” I said.
I brushed past him without waiting for his response. He caught my arm, stopping me in my tracks, and his calloused fingers moved over my skin sending chills into my shoulder.
“Why were you crying?” he asked.
I stood there, my mouth opening and closing like a fish as I tried to come up with an excuse.
“How did you know I was crying?” I asked, turning on him. “Did Lynn tell you?”
I knew when I asked the question that she’d never betray me that way. She’d die before she let my secrets slip.
“I saw you,” he said.
I frowned. “You
saw
me?”
Embarrassment seeped into core and I tried once again to move around him. Again, his fingers moved over the skin on my arm stopping me and sending a fresh batch of goose bumps up to my shoulder.
“Answer the question, Chelsey,” he begged softly. “Why were you crying?”
His gently spoken words pushed me from embarrassed to angry.
“That’s none of your damn business,” I snapped. “Now, it’s your turn to leave me the hell alone. Our project’s done, which means there’s no need for us to be around each other anymore.”
I tugged my arm from his grasp and he let me go. Once I was loose, I took long, angry strides to get away from him. I could feel the tears pressing on the back of my eyelids and I refused to cry again. Especially not in front of him.
His sneakers squeaked behind me as he walked on my heels.
“I asked you a question, Chelsey.” His voice was now stern when he spoke to me, the softness having dissolved with my heated answer.
“I heard you, and I don’t owe you anything.”
I continued to power-walk down the hallway, which didn’t help me get away since even his normal walk was faster than me.
He sighed, but didn’t slow down. It angered me that he was calmly walking while I was practically running. Everything he did was so calm, cool, and collected. Meanwhile, I was a mess of dramatic nerves and tears.
Damn him!
“Answer my question and I’ll leave you alone.”
I stopped, turning a heated glare his way.
“You have a lot of nerve, Blaine Wesley. Who do you think you are? All demanding answers from me when you had no interest in answering
my
questions yesterday.”
Suddenly, he pulled me to him, holding me tightly against his hard body. His fingers wrapped around the top of my arm, enough to hold me still, but not enough to hurt me. I felt tiny sparks of electricity in all the places he was touching me. On my arms. Down the front of my body. And when he lifted his palm to my cheek, there was a spark there, as well.
“Why were you crying, Chelsey?”
His voice was soft and gentle, but still firm and demanding. He was confusing me and melting me at the same time. His face was so close to mine that I could see every magnificent shade of blue in his eyes.
“Why do you care?” I rasped.
My voice cracked and I had to swallow.
“Because I can’t get you out of my head,” he whispered fiercely. He ran a rough hand down his face. “Please,” he begged. “Tell me why you were crying. Was it that guy Josh? Did he do something to you?”
He caught me off guard and I stood there stunned by his questions.
“What?” I asked. “How do you—”And then I understood. “You were there weren’t you? Yesterday in the library? You were there and you heard our conversation. You heard him ask me out, didn’t you?”
I pushed at his chest and he let me go. I stood an arm’s length away from him as I sorted through the mixed up emotions running around my head. I was angry. I was hurt. And I was definitely confused.
“You treated me like crap yesterday because you were
jealous
?” I growled. “Do you know how childish that is, Blaine?”
His eyes narrowed and his jaw tightened. I could tell by his reaction that I hit the nail on the head. He was jealous of Josh. He sat nearby listening to my conversation with him, and then he took his jealousy and anger out on me after school.
His nostrils flared and his lips tightened. “Are you going to answer my question or not? Was it Josh?”
“Was what me?” Josh asked from our side.
Neither of us had bothered to notice we weren’t alone. Go figure the topic of our conversation would be the one to interrupt us.
I turned, my eyes raking over Josh’s large shoulders and settling on his confused expression. His eyes moved from my face to Blaine’s, and if looks could kill, Josh would’ve been dead. Blaine’s eyes dug into him as he seethed from my side.