5
CHELSEY
“NOT A WORD,”
I said to Lynn as I watched Blaine walk away from us.
I could feel her knowing grin against the side of my face. I’d given into him, not because he promised to never make me late again, but because I wanted to. I’d deny that until the day I took my last breath, but it was hard to say no to him when he was being so sweet and playful. Especially when the idea of being alone with him made me excited and nervous all at the same time.
“Not a peep,” she said, throwing her palms up and laughing.
I’d never been on a date before. Hell, I’d only ever been kissed once and that was by him. I knew in my gut that going out with him was a bad idea, but I was so drawn to him—the danger of him—the forbidden aspects. It wasn’t that I was bored with my life. I wasn’t. In fact, I was so busy with school and extracurricular activities I didn’t have time to be bored. But the excitement of him was addictive. I couldn’t deny that.
I didn’t see Blaine again for the rest of the day. I figured he’d blown off school since he seemed to do that a lot. He was the regular bad boy through and through. He missed school, had what I was sure were bad grades, and I was positive he did drugs. All things that should’ve pushed me away, but didn’t. I was on a downward spiral, and I was enjoying the ride entirely too much.
Over the next few days I put our date on the back burner and focused on school. I had a major project due in one class, and a five page paper due in English. On top of all that, I had a trip to Columbia University coming up soon that my mom arranged for me.
Needless to say, Friday crept up fast. I found myself sitting in my room watching the clock beside my bed change time. The red, digital numbers winked at me, taunting me with its never-ending minutes. I gripped my fingers together, my palms sweating, as I thought about spending a night out with Blaine.
What if he tried to kiss me again?
I think I liked the idea of being kissed by him again. Still, I was freaking out.
I’d taken my time to quietly get ready in my room. I wore a skirt instead of my jeans, as I’d promised Lynn, and lip-gloss on my lips. I’d even ran a tiny bit of mascara over my lashes.
At nine, I crept out of my room, past my parent’s bedroom door, and snuck down the stairs. My heart was beating so hard. All I could think about was my dad catching me. I wasn’t sure what he’d do if he caught me sneaking out, but I knew it wouldn’t be good.
Opening the front door, I slipped out and quietly shut the door behind me. Once I was free, I leapt down the steps and ran. I didn’t have a car, and while I wasn’t above sneaking out, taking my parent’s car wasn’t something I could bring myself to do.
The school was only a mile away, and I knew I could get there before ten. I jogged, my shoes smacking on the highway in a steady rhythm. I wasn’t an athletic girl, and already tiny drips of sweat worked their way down my back.
Attractive, not so much.
Next time I’d be sure to make arrangements to have Lynn out front waiting on me.
Next time?
Was there even going to be a next time?
I got to the school with five minutes to spare. Opening my purse, I pulled out my tiny mirror and checked to make sure I wasn’t a hot, sweaty mess. Once I gave myself a once over, I sat on the steps of the school in the pitch black and waited for Blaine.
When ten o’clock came, Blaine didn’t. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but it was hard not to. I sat around feeling like a total idiot until eleven. By then my legs were cold and the darkness around me had gotten way too thick. Standing, I brushed off my bottom, and started the trek back home.
I should’ve known better.
I was a total fool, and the worst part was I knew. I knew I was a joke to him. He was being too playful—too sweet. I bet he was somewhere with his friends getting a good laugh at me. The girl he stood up. The girl who snuck out for him. The girl who sat and waited for him in the cold for an hour.
It
was
funny. Even I had a little chuckle to myself just thinking about how funny it was.
It was damn hilarious that I’d let my guard down even once. That I’d spent one night not thinking about school and everything that needed to be done before I went off to college.
Never again.
It was a lapse in judgment that would never happen again. I’d learned my lesson. I wasn’t that girl. Maybe once I was done with school and taking care of patients, I’d take some time out to be that girl. But until then, boys were off my list.
Hurt and anger burned my eyes, but over my dead body would I let some stupid jerk make me cry. He wasn’t worth it. Who cared if he was tall and beautiful? Who cared if his skin was the color of caramel, and I freaking loved caramel?
Not me.
Nope. I didn’t care.
He wasn’t worth it.
I walked twenty feet before I realized I forgot my purse on the steps. I chewed on the inside of my lip. I was tempted to leave it there, when I remembered my ID and the twenty dollar bill I shoved in there before I left the house.
I speed walked back to the steps, stopping and looking behind me when I heard something off in the distance. I couldn’t see anything or anyone, but that didn’t make me feel better. Turning back around, I took off toward my purse once more, and ran face first into something hard. I held on for dear life, praying I wasn’t about to be murdered.
My fingers dug into firm, warm flesh, and on impulse, I squeezed. My eyes easily found his in the dark, and his expression was all it took to melt everything I was feeling. The anger and hurt didn’t seem to matter because he was there now.
My inner self called me an idiot. After all, he left me sitting on the steps of the school in the dark alone for over an hour. I found it strange that he appeared as soon as I left. I hadn’t
wanted to believe I was a joke to him, but obviously I was.
I backed away from him like he suddenly turned into a snake—a snake that was promising me the most delicious kind of sin with just one bite from his forbidden apple. My eyes moved over his dark form, before landing on my purse in his hand. I glared at him and lunged for it.
He was faster than me, and moved it out of my reach.
“Give me my purse,” I bit out angrily.
“I know you’re angry, Chelsey, but just listen to me.”
I shook my head. “You’re wrong. You don’t know anything about me. I’m not angry. I just want my purse back so I can go home.”
He sighed loudly into the night air. A puff of heated breath floated from his thick lips as a white cloud between us. “Not until you listen to me. Let me explain.”
“You don’t need to explain anything. I don’t care. You know what else I don’t care about?” I hissed. “I don’t care that you think I’m a joke. I don’t care that you’re a jerk for playing cruel jokes on me so you can laugh about it with all your girlfriends. And I definitely don’t care to
ever
see you again. Now give me my purse so I can leave.”
I lunged for it again, but this time he didn’t move it away. His arm slipped around my waist and he pulled me against him. The breath was stolen from me, and his face was inches from mine.
He smelled like cool mint, and I could taste him on my lips as his breath warmed them. It made me angrier that I wanted to taste more of him. His eyes were a stormy blue when mine found his, and they burned into me as he looked down at me heatedly.
“Are you done?” he snapped.
His anger only fueled mine.
What exactly did he have to be angry about?
“Good,” he continued before I answered. “Now, let’s get a couple of things straight, okay?”
“I told you—” I started.
He pulled me tighter against his body, and I felt his hardness pressing into my thigh. I froze. I’d never been so close to anyone, and I’d definitely never had anyone poke me with their desire. I couldn’t decide if I should be flattered or pissed off. One thing was for sure, it was enough to silence me, which was exactly what he wanted.
I felt every hard curve of his body, and without my consent, my body craved more. I didn’t know what more it could possibly want, but need burned the pit of my stomach, and the sensitive spot between my thighs throbbed.
His voice was tight when he finally spoke. “First of all, I don’t have a girlfriend or
girlfriends
. I never have. Secondly, I don’t
think you’re a joke. I didn’t ask you out to make fun of you. I asked you out because I wanted to take you out. Period. End of subject.” He shook his head and sighed. “Was I late? Yes. I was about fifteen minutes late.”
I opened my mouth to call him a damn liar, but the warning in his eyes made the accusation melt away on my tongue. My eyes dropped to his lips briefly before I looked away, my face flaming.
“I’ve been waiting for you for the last forty-five minutes, Chelsey. I’ve just been on the wrong side of the fucking school,” he finished.
My body went limp against his, as I searched his eyes for the truth. All I found was an intensity that took my breath away. I had no idea if he was telling the truth or not, but everything inside of me was screaming to believe him.
“You were waiting on the wrong side of the school?” I asked, accusation thick in my voice.
“Yes,” he answered. “It never occurred to me that you might be over here. I was too pissed thinking you stood me up to think of anything else. Now, I’m just pissed at myself for not thinking of walking the whole school thirty minutes ago.”
He hadn’t stopped to take a breath, and the whole time he talked I just stared at him feeling my chest expand with relief, happiness, and more excitement. I pushed away from him and he let me go freely.
“I refuse to be the butt of anyone’s joke, Blaine. Just because you look—” I moved my hand up and down the length of his body. “The way you look, doesn’t mean you can treat me like—”
He stepped closer, and my sentence and resolve halted as I stared up at him.
“I don’t think of you as a joke, Little Doe.” A strange emotion flickered in his blue eyes. “Do
you
think us going out together is a joke?” he asked.
I expected to see the usual smartass smirk on his face, but it wasn’t there. Instead, insecurity moved into his expression. It never occurred to me that Blaine might have any doubts about what we were doing. He always seemed so cool and collected. He was always so sure of himself.
I smiled.
It was nice to see this side of him—the side where he wasn’t completely closed off.
His eyes moved over my face, and his perfectly shaped brows pulled down in confusion.
“I don’t know what that smile means, Little Doe.”
“No,” I finally said.
“No?”
“I don’t think anything’s a joke, Blaine.”
“Good.” It was his turn to smile.
I let him think I didn’t notice his slight exhale. He’d been holding his breath. It made me feel special that I seemed important to him in some way. Especially since deep down, I knew no girl had ever been special to Blaine. He was a first for me. My first kiss. My first date. But I was starting to think I was a first for him, as well.
“Can we still go out? I know it’s late, but—”
I was nodding my head before he could finish, and his grin stretched across his handsome face.
“What would you like to do?” he asked.
I frowned.
I had no idea how to answer his question. “Um… I don’t know. What do you usually do on dates?”
“I don’t date, so I don’t have a usual. And even if I did, I wouldn’t do the same thing with you.”
Heat warmed my cheeks. “Why not?”
He shrugged. “Because you’re different.”
“Well, I’ve never been on a date before,” I confessed.
His eyes widened. “Never?”
“Nope. You’re my first official date.”
“Was I your first kiss, too?” The side of his lips lifted into the grin I was slowly starting to love.
I wasn’t sure how he knew he was my first kiss. The only conclusion I came to was I sucked at kissing, but still, I nodded my answer and looked away embarrassed.
His fingers caressed my chin as he turned my face toward his.
His pale, blue eyes went dark. “I want to be your first for a lot of things.” He smoothed the hair beside my cheek down, and tucked it sweetly behind my ear.
His words made me blush. Heat moved over my cheeks and down my neck. I swallowed hard before I found my voice.
“Well, technically you stole the kiss and bartered for this date,” I pointed out, ignoring the idea of giving him my virginity.
He only grinned bigger. “Don’t expect it to always be like that. From this point on, I’ll only take what you freely give.”
Heat warmed the pit of my stomach and my reaction scared me. I steered our conversation back on track.
“I’m trying to decide how I should feel that you don’t have a plan for tonight.”
He chuckled as he threw his hands up.