3
CHELSEY
HE WAS BEAUTIFUL. END OF SUBJECT.
His Siberian husky, clear, blue eyes, and his olive skin that glowed in the firelight only added to his good looks. The mysterious look in his eyes, and the spine-tingling smirk he gave me as he made his way toward me, made my nerves go wild.
He was one gorgeous package, and the fact that he kept giving me so much of his attention was flattering, to say the least.
I’d never admit that to anyone else, not even Lynn. The last thing she needed to know was that I was attracted to a guy we went to school with. She’d tell the world, and then I’d have to kill her and quit school. That would
not
be good for my GPA or my chances of getting into Columbia.
And then he was kissing me, and the world around me shifted and changed. The colors were different, the night air warmer, and I had the distinct feeling I was floating. He was warm and sweet against my lips, his body moving closer and heating me in a way the fire in front of us couldn’t. It was my first kiss, and I wasn’t upset Blaine was the one giving it to me.
I wasn’t thrilled that it was sudden and I was unprepared. I also hated that it was in front of a group of people I didn’t know or care about, but still, the boy choice could’ve been worse. I could’ve been kissing some stick-in-the-mud university stiff instead of the bad boy who made my blood boil.
His tongue traced my lips, tickling the soft skin just inside my mouth, and then he opened his mouth a bit, and I could taste the smoke and beer on his breath. Realization of what I was doing, and where I was doing it, moved in and sent a shockwave through me.
I hadn’t meant to slap him, but all of it was a jolt to my system. My first kiss had been with someone who was obviously drunk and most likely wouldn’t even remember the moment. It wasn’t anything like the moment I’d occasionally thought about, and it was done in front of a crowd of strangers, no less. It was the best and worst moment of my life.
My palm stung, as I ran to Lynn’s car, tripping over roots and broken branches on the way. Throwing open the passenger’s side door, I climbed in and slammed it behind me. Not long after, Lynn climbed in. She was trying to cover the grin on her lips, which only added to my less than friendly disposition.
She opened her mouth to speak, but I stopped her.
“Don’t,” I said, holding up my hand and turning away from her.
“Okay,” she muttered. “Um… what just happened back there?”
“I’ll tell you what just happened. That… that jerk kissed me!” I stuttered over my anger.
Embarrassment and something else I couldn’t put a name on struck me deep. My insides and legs were shaky as tremors of unwanted heat moved through my core, and the strange feeling continued to build until I could name it.
Excitement.
That’s what it was.
Why in God’s name was I feeling excitement?
Especially when I should’ve been disgusted by such a blatant display of disrespect. But the truth was, his kiss hadn’t felt disrespectful at all. If you took away the taste of beer and smoke on his breath, it would’ve been the single best moment of my life.
She wiped the smirk from her lips and cleared her throat. “Yeah. I saw that. Did you kiss him back?” she asked, prompting me to glare at her.
“You’re not serious right now?”
“I’m totally serious right now. Was it wonderful?”
“Drive, Lynn.” I smacked my hand against the dash of her car. “You promised to take me home when I wanted to go home. I most certainly want to go home now.”
What I didn’t want to do was evaluate the way I was feeling, and I really didn’t want to talk about it. Maybe later, once the shock of the night wore off, but not when I was still strung tight with nerves. Not when the weird feeling of anxiousness to kiss him again still sat heavy in my chest.
That night I barely slept. And even though I brushed my teeth, I could still taste him. I woke the next morning feeling guilty for sneaking out of my house, and for the first time in my life, I felt dread and fear when I even thought about returning to school.
Basically, because of Blaine, my emotions were heightened. Everything I was feeling felt enhanced, like his kiss had been a large dose of ecstasy. Not that I’d ever taken ecstasy, but I’d read books about it. I was displaying all the symptoms of someone riding a serious high.
I spent Saturday attempting to study, but no matter what I did, my brain kept moving back to Blaine. It sickened me that my first kiss was with someone who didn’t even know me, yet it was still exhilarating at the same time. I was a bipolar mess. I was excited and disgusted all at once.
Monday morning I had my mother drive me to school instead of having Lynn pick me up. I was nervous about going back, and having Lynn play twenty questions wasn’t going to make it any better. I’d spent the last two days ignoring her phone calls and text messages.
Walking through the hallway to my first class, everything seem relatively normal—no weird stares or anything of that nature. But then again no one paid me any attention—no one except the people in my debate club and a few other extracurricular activities I was into.
Lugging the new book bag I bought the day before at the mall, I went into my first class and exhaled the breath I’d been holding when I took my seat. At least I made it to my first class with no issues. Hopefully the rest of the day would run that smoothly.
More than anything, I prayed I wouldn’t run into Blaine. That was bound to be bad. Either he wasn’t going to remember something that was huge to me, the kiss, or he
was
going to remember, which for some strange reason felt like it would be equally bad.
Leaving first period, I dragged myself through the hall to my second class. My heavy bag tugged my shoulders back, and I had to continuously adjust the straps as I walked. I was almost to the door, my head down as I made one final adjustment, when I felt a large hand on my shoulder.
I stopped, tension stiffening my spine and legs, and I shook the hand from my shoulder.
Turning, I lifted my chin and my eyes met Blaine’s. The soft, clear blue of his eyes moved over my face heating my cheeks in their wake.
How was that even possible?
He wasn’t smiling as his eyes moved over my expression. I wanted to ask him what he wanted, but instead I stood there like an idiot and stared up at him like he was some kind of god. Which let’s face it, he totally was.
Then his mouth shifted, and a tiny grin pulled at his plump lips, revealing the dimple I’d had dreams about over the weekend. My tense body melted, and I felt his smile on my face as if it were the sun—warm and bright.
“Hi, Chelsey,” he said.
My tongue felt too large for my mouth, and my voice sounded too rough when I finally found it.
“Hi,” I responded.
He shoved his hands in his pockets, squaring his shoulders and making himself seem even taller.
“Listen, I just want to apologize for the other night. I went about it all wrong. I know that now that I’m sober. It’s just I’d been drinking, and you looked so fucking sweet, and I don’t know… I just went for it.”
I heard everything he said, but the only words that stuck in my mind was that he thought I looked sweet.
What did that even mean?
And why did it make me feel like smiling like the Cheshire cat?
“It’s okay.” My voice was rasped and quiet.
“Is it?” he asked, his brows pinching in and his smile spreading.
His deep, blue eyes moved over my face again, as if he was trying to read my secret thoughts. I wasn’t sure I liked him looking at me so closely. I was sure he could see every imperfection on my skin and that, on top of the fact that he’d kissed me, was making me crazy nervous.
“I mean, I guess it’s okay,” I corrected myself.
His grin grew, making his eyes sparkle under the florescent lights of the hallway.
And then the bell chimed, and for a second time in my life, I was late to class. I blew out a breath, and closed my eyes in aggravation.
Twice in less than a week.
Great. Just freaking great.
“Well, since it’s okay, you wouldn’t have a problem if I did it again?”
He moved closer, his eyes landing on my lips and turning bluer before my eyes. Reaching out a hand, he ran his finger through the strands of hair beside my cheek. I licked my lips and swallowed hard as he moved closer yet again.
The bell and tardy forgotten, I met his eyes, and nerves moved up my stomach making me feel nauseated. I open and closed my mouth like a fish out of water as I tried to think of what to say next. He continued to smile at me, obviously enjoying my discomfort. He looked super proud of himself for pulling such awkward responses from me, but before he could get any closer, I found my voice.
“No. I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I blurted out.
And then the strangest thing happened. He laughed. Maybe I was all wrong about him. Maybe he was playing around, and he really didn’t want to kiss me again. If his reaction to being told
no
was any indication, I’d say he was definitely playing around.
“No. I didn’t think it would be,” he said.
An expression resembling pride moved over his face, and his lips twitched with amusement. He was confusing me, and I felt totally inept, which I hated, of course. Being confused wasn’t something that happened often with me. I was book smart, not boy smart. I was fluent in six languages, and boy talk was
not
one of them.
Before he could speak again, I pulled open the classroom door and fled, almost knocking over Ms. McCants, my English teacher, in my attempt to run away from Blaine.
When I turned back, I saw his face through the small window on the door. And even though I couldn’t hear him, I could see he was still laughing.
**********
“I THINK I LIKE HIM,”
I said over my cafeteria corn dog.
It tasted like cardboard and fake meat covered in mustard and ketchup, so I tossed it to my tray. The one day I forgot to bring my lunch, was the one day I felt like eating. It was just my luck.
“I’m sorry? What did you just say?” Lynn’s mouth fell open at my words.
“Blaine,” I whispered his name like he was an abomination. “I think I like him.”
A huge smile split Lynn’s face before she threw her head back and started to laugh. The table full of girls beside us turned their heads our way like they wanted in on the joke.
“What’s so funny?” I asked, feeling anger bubble up my stomach.
It was rare that I opened up to anyone, and yet I had with her. Being laughed at was the last thing I expected or wanted.
“Join the crowd, Chelsey.” She covered her mouth and tried to contain her laughter.
“What’s that mean?”
“It means every girl in this school likes Blaine Wesley. It sounds to me like you’re finally waking up to the world around you. A crush is a good thing. It means there’s hope for you yet.”
“I do not… I repeat… I do
not
have a crush on anyone.”
I pushed my tray to the side, snatched up my book bag, and left the cafeteria with Lynn’s eyes blazing me in the back.
Girls who had dreams of going to Columbia University and one day becoming a doctor did
not
have crushes. They didn’t drool over boys who probably had no future, and they certainly didn’t go around kissing them. My feelings toward Blaine were a minor setback, but something I could definitely move past.
And then as luck would have it, I ran straight into the one person who seemed to be under my skin lately just as I left the cafeteria. My face collided with his chest, his sweet scent filling my nostrils. He used strong hands to hold me to him until I could catch my footing. And then he continued to hold me to him until I had to pull myself away.
“Well, well, well. If it isn’t the girl who won’t give me the time of day?” he said with his signature, panty-melting grin. He gazed down at me, making me lose my voice. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, Chelsey. I really do love running into you this way, but if you want to touch me, all you have to do is ask.”
And there he was making me sick to my stomach again. They should name a rollercoaster at a local fun park after him since he was such a gamut of ups and downs. At least that’s what being around him felt like.
Disgusted, disgruntled, and just full of crazy, I pushed him to the side and walked away. Again, it was a minor setback. And as long he continued to speak to me that way, it would be a setback that would go by sooner rather than later.
4
BLAINE
I WATCHED HER WALK AWAY
with a smile on my face and my eyes roaming across her perfect, little ass and small frame. She was fucking adorable, and I was loving the chase she was sending me on.
Shaking my head, I pushed through the cafeteria doors and made my way across the room to get a drink. I didn’t have many friends around school, since all my boys lived on the same side of town I did, but the ladies always welcomed me. So needless to say, it took me a while to get to what I wanted since I was repeatedly stopped by a different girl every few steps I took.
Paying for my Pepsi, I left the cafeteria and went back to class. I sat in the back, paying enough attention to make decent grades. It was always bare minimum with me when it came to schoolwork, but I did whatever I needed to do to get me through to graduation day.
I didn’t convince myself there would be college after high school. My parents couldn’t afford that shit, and as much as I worked now, I’d have to work even harder when I was done with school. There were bills to help pay at home, and four mouths to feed. I wanted to help my parents the best I could.
I stayed the rest of the day, even though skipping the rest of my classes sounded fucking fabulous. I was eighteen. Technically, I could’ve quit, but the heartbreak I knew I’d see on my mom’s face kept me from doing that. Instead, I got up every morning, climbed my ass out of bed, and went to school like a good boy.
Meanwhile, the boys my age around my neighborhood had long dropped out. Of course, they were all fucking losers who couldn’t keep the nose candy out of their noses, but still, they weren’t stuck in class listening to the most boring shit ever.
After school, I went straight to work at the tire shop my old man worked at. I spent some afternoons there doing oil changes and tire rotations. It wasn’t much, but it put gas in my car, paid my liability only car insurance, helped a little at home, and left some change in my pocket.
On the times when the paychecks were too small, I’d deal some for Jay and make a little extra. I only sold drugs when it was necessary. The last thing I needed was my mom’s fist through my face. She was a small woman, but I didn’t doubt for one second that she could do it.
After working at the shop for a few hours, I went home and washed off the nasty from the day. Sinking into my bed, I turned off the lamp and laid there in the dark. Closing my eyes, I pictured Chelsey, and I couldn’t help but smile. She really was something special. I realized that more and more every time she turned me down. She was way too good for me, but I’d be damned if I wasn’t going to at least try to get close to her.
That night I slept and had dreams of the girl with the doe eyes and soft smiles. I’d never been so infatuated with a girl before. I didn’t know how to handle it, and I wasn’t sure I liked it. All I knew was her smile made me feel light and happy, and I craved the taste of her lips.
**********
THE NEXT MORNING AT SCHOOL,
I waited by the front doors in hopes of seeing her. She was thrilling, and Georgia life could get boring. I grinned at the girls who smiled when they passed me, and then I saw her and her friend making their way up the steps.
I moved into their path and smirked to myself knowing neither of them were paying me any attention. And then her eyes moved to mine and they both stopped in front of me. She lifted a brow, before turning to go around me. Again, I stepped in her path, forcing her to either move into me or stop.
Sadly, she stopped, which sucked. I wanted her to move into me. My body craved her heat almost as badly as it craved her taste.
“Hi, Little Doe,” I said, dipping down to look beneath the hair she hid behind.
I wanted to pull her long hair back and look at her pretty face. She had beautiful hair, but it was a crime that she hid those soulful eyes—eyes that somehow had the ability to see right through me—leaving me feeling weak and open to the elements around me.
“Little doe?” She snorted cutely. “Should I be offended by that?”
She didn’t wait for my response. Again, she tried to move around me, and again I blocked her path. The girl next to her, Lynn I believe her name was, covered her smile behind her hand.
“Definitely not.” I reached out and took hold of her chin, forcing her to look up at me.
Her skin was warm and made my fingertips tingle.
She turned her head away and an annoyed expression moved across her face. I fucking loved it. I loved that she was irritated by me instead of falling into my palm the way most girls did. It only made me want her more—added to my need for her.
“Go out with me,” I blurted, earning myself a good look at her eyes and face when she looked up at me in shock.
I didn’t ask girls out. I don’t think I’d ever been on an actual date, but I wanted to wine and dine her. I wanted to take her to a movie—do all the lame shit guys did when they liked a girl.
“No.” She crossed her arms over her chest, drawing my eyes down over her perky rack.
She hadn’t even thought about it before she answered me. That was unacceptable.
“You’re not even going to think about it?” I asked, stepping into her path again as she tried to walk around me.
“I don’t need to think about it. You’re not my type.”
I stepped in front of her again, stopping her, and I chuckled. Our little game was fun.
“Then what’s your type?”
“That’s none of your business,” she snapped.
She was like a pit-bull puppy—all bark. God, I hoped she liked to bite, too.
“But I need to know.”
“Why do you need to know?” She put her hands on her hips, showing her aggravation with the pinch of her lips.
“How else am I going to know what to change about myself?”
I was being playful. I couldn’t change if I wanted to, but it worked. She rolled her eyes and smiled.
“You shouldn’t change who you are for anyone.”
“I know, but I would for you,” I flirted.
Her eyes moved over my face, gaging how serious I was, and I then watched as she slowly melted for me. She was a puddle in my hand, exactly how I wanted her. Sweet talk wasn’t my thing, but neither was dating. I was breaking all the rules for this girl.
And then the bell rang and her face changed again. She sighed loudly running her hands down her makeup free cheeks.
“Three,” she growled, gripping her tiny fists in anger.
I was confused.
“Three?”
“Yes. Three. That’s how many times I’ve been tardy in my life. Two of those times were your fault.” Red blotches covered her neck and her cheeks flushed in anger.
I rolled my lips into my teeth to keep from laughing at her. It was so sweet how worried she was about something as simple as being late.
“I’m sorry. If I promise to never make you late again will you go out with me?”
Her dark eyes moved over my face.
“Why?” she asked.
“Why what?”
“Why do you want to go out with me so badly? You do realize I’m never going to sleep with you, right?”
I chuckled, shaking my head and enjoying her honesty.
“And that’s exactly what I like about you.”
I didn’t elaborate, she didn’t need to know how dirty I felt sometimes when a girl used me to get off. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the sex. But some nights, when I was sober as a bone, I could see it in their eyes. They thought I was nothing. I was below them, and they knew it.
Chelsey didn’t look at me that way, and I appreciated that about her.
“Put me out of my misery, sweet girl.” I covered my heart as if it hurt. “Let me take you out.”
Her lips twitched with a tiny smile, and I knew I had her. She sighed as if she was aggravated, and looked up at the sky in contemplation.
“Fine.”
And just like that, my day went from eh to fucking awesome.
“Fine?” I had to make sure we were both on the same page.
“Fine. I’ll go out with you. But just once. After that you never make me late again, deal?”
My smile hurt my cheeks.
“Deal. I’ll pick you up Friday at seven.”
“No!” The word burst from her lips a little too loudly. “I mean, I’ll meet you somewhere.”
My high died just that quickly. She wanted to hide me. Maybe I was wrong about her. Maybe she was just like the rest of them. I was good enough to take a ride on, but never good enough to be welcomed into their world.
I must’ve made a face because she reached out and touched my arm. The warmth from her fingers made my skin tingle. I looked down at her small hand, her unpolished fingernails, and then looked back up her, confused.
“My father doesn’t let me go anywhere,” she clarified. “No way would he be okay with me dating. I have to sneak out.”
She was being honest. I could see it in her eyes.
My mood lightened again and I smiled. “Sneaking out, sweet girl? That’s kind of hot.” Her face dropped and I laughed. “Fine. Meet me here at ten. Is that late enough?”
She nodded. “I can do that.”
I walked backward as I moved away from her, my eyes devouring her and making her blush harder.
“I’ll see you then, Little Doe.”
And then I went into the school feeling as if I’d just won the lottery.