Jaded (Rock Star Trilogy) (18 page)

“
That's not what I meant....” I pause, glancing at her, then back at the road. “Are you ok?”

“
Yes
! I am fucking
fantastic
!”

I take a deep breath, trying to figure out what to say. I decide to go with an apology. “I'm sorry. You're right, you don't
need
me, but maybe
I
need
you
.”

“
You don't
need me
.” She crosses her arms over her chest.

“
Yes I do, Bridgett. Before you, my life was a mess. I came to
Hope
because
I had none
. And then I met Stephan, and now you...” I shake my head. “I've been missing friends, family...
love
. Sure, I had everything I ever wanted. Money, cars, houses, clothes,
drugs
, but
none
of that made me feel anything. I was so empty. But I'm
not
anymore! My life is
worth
living
now! So, you may not
need
me, but I
do
need you.”

Bridgett doesn't say anything for a minute, but the silence isn't awkward. My words are still lingering in the air, and she is taking them in.

“You know, there has always been something missing in my life too,” she finally says. “I didn't know what
it
was until you walked into my life. You are a part of me Scarlett, and I am a part of you. And sure, we may like different things, and life may separate us over time, but you will always be with me. No matter how many thousands of miles desperate us, you are my sister... My
TWIN
! And we may fight, and drive each other crazy, but at the end of the day we will make up.”

I feel a tear fall down my cheek and I quickly wipe it away. “I love you, Bridge.”

“I love you too, Scar.”

She picks up her bottle of Dr. Pepper, and holds it out. “I propose a toast.”

I pick up my Red Bull.

“
Here is to
us
. Here is to looking towards the future, and never letting the past control us.” We tap out drinks together and both take a sip.

It was our first fight. Though I'm still unsure
why
we fought, I was glad that we made up. I knew at that moment that Bridgett and I would always be alright.

Later that night, Bridgett and I drive Alec to the airport (in my new car). I'm sad to see him go, but I know I will see him again soon... Especially considering the way Bridgett and him keep looking at each other.

On the drive home, Bridgett is extra quiet. I know that I need to talk to her about what happened in Miami, but I decide to give her a little time. Because the truth is, I am not sure
what
to say.

Friday, September 25

3:01 pm

Nothing is more important than you.

I waited all week for Andrew's call. I tried him a few times, but it always went to his voice mail. I was anxious to know about Stacy, and I couldn't understand why he hadn't contacted me anymore. But finally, on Friday, he called me as I was leaving school.

“Andrew!” I answer. “Oh my gosh, finally! Why haven't you contacted me?”

“
Sorry about that Scarlett. I was busy. Your sister has quite a busy schedule, and she is hard to get in contact with,” he replies. “But I have arranged a meeting.”

“
Great!” I say. “Where at?”

“
You aren't going to believe this, but you sister lives in Florida. Only about 30 miles from where you are.”

“
Wow! Where at? I'll be right there!” I can't help but feel over excited.

“
Not today. She is going to meet with you next weekend.” With Andrew's words, I feel my heart drop.

“
Oh.”

“
She wants to see you, Scarlett,” he assures me. “She just has other responsibilities.”

“
Yeah, she sounds
super thrilled
. Glad she could
schedule
time to see her
long lost sister
.” I feel like throwing my phone. “I have to go, Andrew. Just... email me the details.”

Before he can respond, I click end on my phone and toss it on the seat beside me. As soon as I get home, I walk out to the beach and sit in the sand, watching the waves roll in. I let myself cry over my sister for the first time in a long time. Maybe it's to mourn over a sister I haven't seen in nine years. If she doesn't want to see me, I shouldn't want to see her either. But I
do
want to see her. I
need
to see her.

I hear shuffling beside me, and I look up to see Stephan sit down beside me. He doesn't say anything, he just puts his arm around me. After I sob into his chest for about five minutes, I pull back.

“Stacy can't '
schedule
' me in until next weekend,” I use my fingers to make quotations when I say the word schedule.

“
Come on, Scar. Give her the benefit of the doubt. She probably hates waiting too,” he counters. “Maybe there's a reason she needs to wait until next weekend.”

“
What could possibly be more important than her
sister
?” I ask.

He shrugs. “I don't know, because to me, there is nothing more important than you.”

My heart warms at his words, and through my tears, I smile. Stephan always gives me a reason to smile.

He pushes himself up from the sand, and holds out his hand to help me up. Once I'm up, he kisses my forehead. “Now, you go get ready, because
we
are going on a date.”

“
Races?” I ask.

He shakes his head. “I'll take a break this weekend.”

5:03 pm

That's for me to know...

After leaving the beach, I get a shower, blow out my hair, and do my make up.

“
Bridgett!” I yell to her from my bedroom door.

I hear her coming up the stairs. “Yes?”

“Can you help me pick out an outfit for my date with Stephan?”

She laughs. “You're asking help from
me
? Scar, look what I'm wearing...”

So, I do. She is currently wear a baggy t-shirt and sweatpants. Her hair is in a messy bun, and she's wearing glasses.

She points to herself. “This is not somebody you ask fashion advice from.”

I laugh. “Well, at least tell me which outfit you like more.”

I lay two outfits on my bed.

“
Where is he taking you?” She asks.

“
I don't know,” I shrug.

“
Awe, it's a surprise! How romantic.” She puts up her finger. “Give me just a minute, and I will help you pick out the perfect outfit.”

Bridgett leaves the room, and comes back a few minutes later smiling. She goes into my closet, and comes back out with a blue sundress.

“I happen to know that blue looks amazing on you,” she jokes. “Because, it looks
amazing
on me. So wear this with flip flops, and it will be perfect.”

“
Did you call Stephan and ask where we are going?”

She nods.

“I seriously love you!” I throw my arms around her. “So where is he taking me?”

She laughs. “That's for
me to know
, and
you to find out
.”

6:43 pm

And you to find out.

“
So, you have been living in Florida now for almost a month, and I just realized that I haven't taken you to any of the places that makes this state great,” Stephan says as we merge onto the interstate. “I think it's time I show you.”

I can't help but smile. “Have I ever told you how amazing you are?”

“No, but feel free to continue telling me.”

I pretend to think. “Well, I could start with your eyes. It's the first thing I noticed about you. Well, aside from your
snarky
attitude.”

“
Hey, I wasn't being snarky. I was
flirting
.”

“
I'm just glad you don't call me
Blondie
anymore. That was seriously getting old.”

“
And I'm glad you don't call my
stepbrother
Thor anymore. It's kind of hard to compete with a Greek god,” Stephan counters.

I roll my eyes. “Come on, you have to admit, he has the bluest eyes
ever
. But once I had an actual
conversation
with him, I realized we had no chemistry.”

“
And
we
have chemistry?”

“
We have so much chemistry that we're literally smoking,” I smile. “And it's only a matter of time before we erupt.”

He clears his throat. “I'm kind of looking forward to this
eruption
. Think it will happen any time soon?”

“
Stephan,” I swat my hand at his arm gently. “You are so bad.”

“
Maybe, but you know you want me.”

“
Oh, I do want you, but it's so much more fun to make you wait.” I laugh. “Besides, I'm waiting until we're in
love
.”

“
Augh, the
L
word again.” He shakes his head, as if he can will the word to go away.

“
Why are you so against
love
?” I ask.

“
I'm not
against love
. I just think that
love
is a serious word. I have never told a girl that I love her, and I want it to mean something. I want the one and only girl I say it to, to be my wife.”

And right there, I lost my heart... to a boy named Stephan Montgomery.

7:03 pm

Chaos

We pull into our destination shortly after seven. Stephan opens the door for me, which I still think is the sweetest thing in the world, and we hold hands as we walk inside.

“
So, what is this place?” I ask.

As soon as the door swings open, I can smell seafood.

“My dad used to take me here all the time. The food is
amazing
,” he answers.

The place is crowded, but we don't have to wait for a table... I assumed it was because of me. A few people were mad that we got ahead of them, which I feel bad about, but not for long.

We sit outside on the patio. Even though the sun is starting to set, it's still fairly warm outside, and we have an excellent view of the ocean.

“
This is nice,” I say. “I can't believe I haven't eaten more seafood while living in Florida.”

“
What's your favorite?” he asks.

“
Snow crab.” My mouth waters just thinking about it.

“
Me too,” he agrees. “So, I was wondering... What is life on tour like?”

“
Thinking of becoming a musician?” I joke.

He shrugs. “Just curious.”

“There is only one word that comes to mind, and that's chaos.” I say honestly. “I remember one week I had six performances, three TV interviews, and four radio interviews in seven different states. I didn't sleep much that week. I practically lived on Red Bull, and whatever food I could eat on the drive to and from wherever I was going.”

“
Is it always like that?”

I shake my head. “No, but it feels like that a lot. But, honestly, I miss it. It was a crazy life, but I wouldn't of had it any other way.”

“I know you haven't decided what you want for sure yet, but I think you should go back out there. You belong on stage. The spotlight follows you,” he says, pointing at the table next to us. A girl is taking a picture of me with her cell phone.

“
I don't even notice anymore.” It's the truth. “After four years, I have learned to completely ignore it.”

“
You know, Ethan Googled me a few days ago, and he found hundreds pictures of you and me together. He even found one of us kissing.”

I laugh. “I stopped Googling myself long ago.”

“It's kind of crazy.”

“
Crazy is fun sometimes.”

I know that once I graduate high school, I will go back to making music. But, I also know it's going to be
my music
from now on. And I really think it's Stephan who has helped me see... It doesn't have to be one way or the other. I can be me, and still do what I love. I just have to fire my dad to do it.