Jaded Touch (Vesper) (16 page)

More pain, more blood, and I closed my eyes once more as shudders rocked my body in waves. Festus clawed through. My joints seized with agony as his fingers curled around my spine, the hole in the back of my throat pouring blood down into my body and bubbling out my mouth, and everything about my life was black.

Jack didn’t even know how badly I needed him, and how good his touch felt. The finality of it all – the agony of it - stabbed through my heart like the shocking sensation of twisting nerves in my legs and arms as Festus left a kiss on my cheek, and tightened his fingers. All I heard was my heartbeat in my ears, and I wished it was Jack’s. I wished for his warmth.

And then, for a moment, I swore it was over, because the pain was gone in a flash.

But the pain returned as my hearing vacuumed in around me, and there was shouting and iron men landing angry fists upon iron chests. I collapsed onto my stomach in a puddle of sticky black blood, and someone hot rolled me onto my side. Satan. It must be, since he was so hot, as though ablaze with the fire of Hell. He beat my back and I choked out blood, gagging as a piece of something solid and slick stuck in my mouth. I spit it out and choked again, and I heard my name, but the haze of trauma wouldn’t let me focus. Everything spun.

“Three, no!”

Hm, Satan had a sexy voice, with a desperate growl in it I adored.
Yes, I’m Three. And I’m in Hell.
What number would I be assigned, here? Zero, since I amounted to nothing in a life far longer than I deserved?

More shouting, and the crack of iron on iron, and then a shadow fell around me like the cold cloak of Death.

Maybe Death decided to take me back from Satan and leave me on Earth to suffer. That would explain why my throat still hurt so bad, and why I tasted real blood. I wanted Satan’s heat around me to soothe the cold and darkness.

The cold shadow folded over me. “Three, I’m sorry. I’m here.”

Satan pressed against my back. “What do we do?” And then something about
dying,
but I didn’t care, since I knew I was already dead.

“She’s just out of it, Jack,” Death said to Satan. “This isn’t mortal.”

“Why all the rust, then?” Satan
did
sound like Jack. Huh. I tried to focus, but blinking did no good.

“Vesper blood rusts when the wounds are near mortal, but her spine is intact so she’ll be okay.” And something about careful, and
moving her.

My spine was intact? Maybe they were talking about some other soul, thrown down into the bowels of Hell with me. Maybe they were talking about Festus, and he was secretly a girl. I giggled at that – delirious from my injuries - but it came out as more of a choke.

“Shh, breathe,” Death said. “Just breathe.”

I blinked and saw leather, surprised the reaper didn’t wear something more… spooky… and Satan’s hand on my back was warm, but not hot. Not burning.

Jack? It was Jack.

“Jack…”

It couldn’t be. A trick of the underworld, of the devil himself.

I tried to roll to look at Satan, or to search for Jack, or to see Death
really
wearing leather, but pain ricocheted through my joints once more with the motion and everything blacked again.

“Three,” Satan said, at the same time as Death said, “Three.”

“I love you,” I told them both.  

Home

“I thought you betrayed us for real, dude,” Jack said. “I was gonna kick your fucking ass.”

Sychar snorted. “Seriously? You’ve seen what I can do. You’d really try something so stupid?”

“Yeah, I would. For her, I would.”

Sychar let out a deep sigh and I tried to open my eyes. A campfire flickered somewhere nearby. Where were we?

“Will he live? He looked pretty fucked up.”

“Festus?” Sychar asked. “Yeah, he’ll be okay. It’s one of the rules: I can polish my fists with his face if I’m tough enough to do it, but I can’t kill him. It’s forbidden.”

“Just like your friendship with Three is forbidden.”

“That’s different.” His voice was hard, defensive.

Jack blew out a harsh breath. “Am I stepping on your toes, here? She said no. That you’re just friends.”

Sychar’s silence held a volume of menace, and I wished I had the strength to look at him.

“No. You’re not stepping on my toes. And if you were, I would simply shove you
off
my toes. I helped you both because I care about her, but it’s nothing more. Anything more is forbidden.”

“Forbidden like your friendship is, or like killing Festus?”

I wished Jack would shut up to save his neck. But somewhere in my foggy brain, I wondered the same thing.

“I don’t know!” Sychar snapped, livid at the intrusion to his private morals by a human. “It’s different. I don’t know why it’s different, or why I can help you yet not kill him... but shut your little mouth before I change my mind. Keep pestering me and I’ll take her to safety, and leave you here as breadcrumbs for Festus to follow.”

Jack shut up.

Whoa.
This must be a dream.
I closed my eyes and prayed for it to stop, for my subconscious to quit messing with my heart. Sleep stretched out before me, and I followed it away from the campfire.

This time, I dreamed I was being whisked away in a chariot at a speed so fast it blinded me. I tried to open my eyes, to see what horse could carry me at such a swift pace, and to see the driver who stroked my hair as I dozed beside him. But the wind was too strong and the dark of night too thick, so I closed my eyes once more.

I woke in my bed. My room. The elaborate golden vines twisted along my walls reminded me of days when my biggest concern was a week of confinement for fighting. It all seemed so long ago.

I sat up and touched my neck. My head was still on my shoulders, and Festus had failed to kill me. I swallowed, and a mild ache throbbed where my healing wasn’t quite complete. I tilted my head side to side. My spine cracked a few times and I grimaced, but it felt good. I peered into the corner and gasped when I saw Vashni sitting in a chair. Here, with worry on her face, she didn’t look like Eve, the woman who damned mankind to nakedness and the Vespers to night. Here, she looked like a terrified mother, sideways in the chair with her knees drawn to her chest.

I swallowed again and found my voice, though it came out hoarse. “I’m so sorry.”

“Are you, now?” Vashni replied in an incredulous tone. “You engage in a relationship with a train man, and come with him to my doorstep in the wake of being caught. And you bring Sychar here, too, spewing tales of friendship with you, socializing behind the backs of your elders. Festus is after him, and he’s probably in a foul mood for being bested by such a young Vesper. Levi’s after you. Levitiqas will want Jack.”

I lowered my head, contrite. I knew this wouldn’t be easy.

“You should have known better.”

I shook with remorse. “I did know better. I did it anyway.”

“Do you know why?”

I chomped on my lip to settle my shudders at the blatant airing of the truth, all my crimes, and the price it would cost me. “I don’t know. It all felt too powerful for me to resist.”

Vashni hummed. “That’s your creator’s fault. I should have explained things better, to you. About yourself, and how you came to be.”

“My creator?” My voice curled up on the ends, and I was unable to hide my excitement.

“You’ll receive no information about him, so cool your giddy tongue. He’s gone. He’s never coming for you.”

I flinched. “I never thought... I know that.”

Vashni sighed. “Three, why do you suppose your temper is worse than those around you? Why you can’t refuse your urges when the rest of us can?”

I regarded her with curiosity, but didn’t have an answer. I wasn’t sure.

“You’re untamed. You’re bitten by male and untamed. Your creator never had time to take you to his bed after he bit you. He was caught too quickly. Your soul will always seek satisfaction of some kind. But it’s better than the alternative: had he tamed you, you would have been so overwrought with grief at his dismissal from your life, that there would be no saving you. Madness, suicide... or behavior so erratic I would have killed you myself.”

“Why did you spare me, anyway? I don’t remember any of this.”

Vashni reached out and squeezed my knee. “I know. I took it from you to protect you. I spared you because I have control over the women. Levitiqas cannot challenge me on that. And he wanted you dead, so I kept you alive.”

“I survived out of spite.”

My Lady shrugged. “You cannot really blame me, can you? He’s a bastard.”

I blew out a heavy breath. Much as her reasons stung, they didn’t matter anymore. “Jack and Sychar are here?”

“Yes. And they’re safe. Jack’s resting, healing from his wounds. I’m glad he’s here. Safe from Festus, for now.”

“Why do you care?”

“Because you need him. You’re untamed, and you need somebody to quiet your screaming heart. You can’t be with Sychar, Three. That’s too dangerous.”

“I know, I didn’t mean... we’re just friends.”

“But would it stay that way, if I allowed your friendship to continue?”

I froze. “Our friendship isn’t going to continue?”

Vashni nodded. “Correct. I’ll wipe it from his brain. You’ve left me no choice.”

I felt like someone dropped an anvil on my chest. My friendship with Sychar would be blanked from his mind like my memories of my creator. Everything we shared would be gone. But he would still be there, and I would still be there... how could I bear it? I put my head in my hands and groaned.

“He wants to see you.”

“Sychar?”

“And Jack. But I would let Jack rest for now, if I were you. He’s trying to be stronger than his body can withstand.”

I shuddered. Vashni wanted me to say goodbye to Sychar, my best friend. Oh, how it hurt.

“Sychar is such a good man, Three. He deserves a proper farewell, even if he doesn’t know it’s coming.”

I glared at her. “Why should I help you with this? What fucking reason do I have to hurt him this way?”

Vashni’s eyes distanced, the silver pupil of age fogging over in her black eyes. “Because Fate demands a high, high price of Carlo. And it has nothing to do with you, I’m afraid. He has a future to live away from your influence.”

Carlo. Sychar’s human name. “How do you know what Fate demands?” My voice lashed with anger.

Vashni snorted, and I couldn’t believe my ears. Vashni, snorting? “Levitiqas and his damn prophecies. He
knows
things. It’s the only reason I’ve left him alive this long. That, and it would devastate my Child if I killed him.”

“Levitiqas has a prophecy about Sychar?”

Vashni smiled. “Yes. About Sychar and a human girl he’s going to bite, someday. But not about you.”

A human girl. Samantha. I held my breath.

“He told me about her. And it’s okay, Three, it’s what he’s meant to do. I will keep his secret, so Levitiqas has no opportunity to derail him from his path. But his path cannot involve you.”

A dry sob threatened to wrench my chest wide open. “Why?”

“Because you love him, and it will distract him from her.”

“I don’t love him
like that.
”

“All forms of love are as powerful as the next, and the last. Had I known you two were seeing each other in any way, I would have split you up sooner.”

Her tone was absolute. There was no arguing this. Her fingernails would sink into Sychar’s spine, and she’d leech away his memories of me, of our friendship.

“And what of me and Jack?” Would she take my memories of Sychar away, too, or of Jack?

Vashni rubbed her temples, timeless stress sagging her beautiful, pale-over-tan features down. “I don’t know. How long until Levi arrives to kill you, Three? And how long until Festus arrives, furious with all of you?”

I drew my knees up. It was all too much. I didn’t much care if Levi killed me, but even with Sychar’s memory of me wiped, Festus would not likely dismiss the beating he delivered.

Vashni was beside me, stroking back my unruly black curls from my face. I peered up at her and felt so lost. And even this woman, the first woman, couldn’t guide me through the jumble of my feelings.

“Go to Sychar,” Vashni said. “And then to Jack.”

I nodded and rose to my feet, and gazed at my Lady, disappointment scourging me from the inside out. “I can’t even say how sorry I am. Or how thankful that you saved me.”

Vashni smiled, sadness darkening her features, and I left.

Damned

Sychar sat in a spare room of the palace, reading a book. He glanced up at me when I walked in, and sped over to me so fast the wind he made ruffled my hair.

He smiled at me. “Good to see you on your feet, Captain Delirious.”

My jaw dropped. “Oh, God, I didn’t say anything embarrassing, did I?”

He laughed. “No. Not much, anyway. My lips are sealed.”

I tossed him a smirk. “Thank you for saving us. We’d be dead without you.”

Sychar sobered immediately. “I know. And you probably still are dead. But I told about Samantha, so at least we’re all dead together.” An empty-hearted smile didn’t touch his eyes.

I stared into his eyes for a long moment, studying him. He had no idea what was coming, and it wasn’t my place to tell him. I stared until I couldn’t bear the youth in his eyes any longer, memorizing him, memorizing this look. He’d never again look at me with kindness in his eyes, if we saw each other again at all.

Yes, we were all dead. Dead to each other, anyway. By tomorrow, if we survived, Sychar would only think of me as any other Maid: off-limits and not worth his time. My breath drew ragged in my chest, scraping over injury and sorrow, and I closed my eyes.

“Hey, Three, it’s okay. Jack’s alive. If we find a loophole, a way out of this, we’ll take it. If not, I’ll at least get a few more shots off on Festus when he gets here to kick my ass.” He grinned. “Totally worth it. Tearing his jaw half-off was fucking awesome, and I’m sorry you missed it.”