JARED (Lane Brothers Book 4) (6 page)

When he starts rubbing and cleansing me, spreading my inner lips to get at every crease and fold, I almost moan with need and thrust my hips into his touch.

The only reason I don’t is because I would never use him that way, no matter how much I want to.

“I-I’m sorry,” I manage through my swollen throat and I hear him sigh right before he rises and grabs my chin, turning my eyes to his while he keeps rubbing between my legs.

“Open your eyes, Cupcake.”

What I see when I finally look up at him makes me gasp and tremble, because I see need and heat and so much lust, it takes my breath away.

“You feel me, baby? You feel my hands on you?”

I do. I feel his arm around me, holding me up even as that hand moves and his fingers hit my swollen clit.

The sensation is explosive and I buck my hips uncontrollably, moaning when my core clenches at air, feeling so empty it actually hurts, but the pleasure when he starts rubbing and flicking at my bud is so good that all I can manage in response is a moan as I push closer, seeking relief from the heat attacking my sex.

“That’s it, Cupcake, take your pleasure from me, baby,” he groans and I feel his arm leave me as his hand keeps up the slippery stroke.

Our eyes stay connected the whole time, and though I try to look away, I can’t as I see his own pleasure reflected in his eyes.

“I want you so much, Cupcake. I always have, and I will have you. You understand?” he says, speeding up his strokes when I nod and bite into my lip.

The pleasure is consuming and I’m so wrapped up in chasing that orgasm just beyond my reach that it takes me a while to realize that his other arm is moving fast. My orgasm hits me the minute I look down to see him stroking his own rock-hard sex, the huge shaft twitching and jerking as he strokes himself hard and fast, in time with the rapid flick of his finger against my clit.

I explode into pieces then, crying out harshly when I feel myself contract from womb to sheath in a series of waves so strong, my whole body stiffens up and quakes.

I see his sex thicken and grow before he groans and starts coming, shooting his release onto our bellies in deep pumps of satisfaction that set off a string of deeper convulsions that leave me gasping and limp before his arms come around me and he pulls my wet body to his.

“You’re mine,” he says, breathing heavily into my ear as I ride out the last of my climax in his arms.

I nod again, incapable of speech as he gently lowers me to the water and resumes rinsing me gently.

I know what he’s saying, and while the thought horrifies me, I can’t help but accept it, lapping up whatever he can give me. He wants me, that’s obvious now, and I’ll let him have me for as long as he wants.

Jared

I can still smell her on my hands hours later as I sit at my computer monitor and try to ignore the need coursing through me in waves.

That little taste, if I can even call it that considering I didn’t put my mouth on any part of her, was not enough. Instead of stilling the need raging through me, it’s just made it all that much worse.

I know what she looks like underneath those modest clothes she wears, and I now know what her pretty little slit looks and feels like. She’s perfect everywhere, sublimely perfect, and it’s a physical struggle I’m waging with myself not to just go back into the bedroom and fall on her like the beast I am.

I want so much more than what I allowed myself this morning, and that’s why I’m keeping my ass pinned to this chair after dosing her again and putting her back to bed.

She’s not ready for me yet. She still has some healing to do and I can’t touch her again without knowing that I won’t hurt her. So instead of going in there and opening her thighs so I can finally taste her sweet folds, I’m planted here, fighting to stay away.

I almost took her in that tub, almost, but I stopped when I looked down and saw her stitches, reminding myself that while she is better and almost healed, thanks to the drugs we gave her, she is still not there.

That’s all that stopped me when she put my hand on her sex and admitted her arousal. Once I felt all that slippery perfection, my dick got too hard to take no for an answer and I couldn’t stop myself from at least touching her and seeing her own pleasure.

My jerking off was pure instinct, and I didn’t realize I was doing it till I came.

I haven’t come that hard in…ever, and I once spent a night with a ballet dancer who was more flexible than an elastic band and knew exactly how to use her pelvic muscles.

This experience trumps even that and I’m starting to think that once I do get inside Paulie, I may never want out again. At least not till I get one kid in her and know that I have her for good.

I smile, remembering Ma’s tactics, and lean back in my chair with a chuckle, shaking my head in disgust. The woman is a menace if ever I met one, and I just knew she wouldn’t be able to resist claiming Paulie as her daughter before I claimed her as my woman.

Too bad for her, I’m not a pussy like Wyatt and the others. No, my girl will wear the ring I give her without me having to see Ma’s stamp of ownership winking at me at every turn.

I know just the ring I’ll present her with, and I can barely contain my excitement at the thought when my monitor starts beeping and I shoot forward to check it out.

“Sonofabitch!”

I’m on the phone and calling Miah less than a minute later and he answers with a growl that sets my teeth on edge.

“This better be life or Goddamned death, bro.”

“I got a video and I may need you in here before I take a closer look,” I say, feeling myself go ice cold inside at what I’m seeing on the screen.

This cold, stony place I feel myself falling into is not one I ever want around to pull my girl into, and though I know I would never hurt Paulie, I refuse to have her alone with me in the next room while I’m in this frame of mind.

This is the place I go when I’m on a mission, and I see something that turns my stomach. This is the place I go when I’m ready to kill someone for committing terrible crimes against humanity.

The last time this happened and I wasn’t on a mission and able to focus on a target, Pop ended up rebuilding half the cottage and replacing two cars I trashed with my bare hands.

“Yo, you sound—oh fuck!”

Miah’s face is almost comical as it morphs from joking to deadly in under a second.

I look into the terrified face of my girl on the video I happened to find while trawling the Net with facial recognition software that the military wishes I would sell to them.

“Jared, dude, just calm down now, bro,” Miah says quietly, coming closer slowly when he recognises the look in my eyes.

I feel like I could rip someone apart with my hands right now, and the truth is I could, but I make a real effort to tamp it down when Miah bolts from the room.

If this is the one, if those bastards have dared to put up a video on this piece of shit site that I will shut down before crashing and frying their servers, I will not be responsible for what I do to them when I find them.

The door bursts open and Jace comes crashing in, his face going snow white when he sees me sitting so still, my cold face focused on the monitor.

“Bro…”

“They put her on some piece of shit site for perverts to look at,” I say, cracking my neck when the strain starts eating at my shoulders.

I’m strung so tight, I swear I’ll break apart if anyone so much as touches me right now. I don’t want to see this. God, I know it’s a bad idea to even still be staring at her beautiful face so wreathed with terror and pain.

But I need to know. I have to see what they did, because I know that I will never sleep again without knowing. And I probably won’t sleep again when I do.

“Don’t look, bro. Let Miah and I give it a gander and we’ll tell you. Just don’t…you don’t need to see it,” Jace says somberly, making me smile because I know he’s terrified of what I’ll do if I watch.

“She’s mine.”

“We know, bro, we know. And I swear I won’t look anywhere we shouldn’t. I swear,” Jace pleads, urging me with his eyes to leave and keep those images from my head.

I shake myself back to life when all I hear for several minutes is my brothers’ harsh breaths and hit the play button before I can rethink it.

I should have listened to them and left. I should have. My body stiffens and I watch as Paulie is punched repeatedly before being shoved over a bench, her face twisted and bleeding as some faceless asshole comes up behind her bearing a police baton.

My eyes close and I can guarantee my brothers are doing the same when I hear her screams and pleas for them to stop. She sounds agonized, terrified, and then so hopeless after minutes pass that I feel tears leak from my eyes and start pouring down my cheeks.

“Jesus Christ, put it off, Jared,” Miah pleads and I finally open my eyes to see Paulie hanging limp and breathing in choppy puffs that signal a fit I already know is coming.

When her body stiffens and I see her jerk before her eyes roll back, I let out an agonized yell and punch my screen so hard, it sparks and shatters before flying to the floor.

My heart hurts inside my chest as the pain and anger I feel for her starts ripping into me. That’s so much worse than I could ever have imagined, and I make up my mind right then and there that no matter what she did or didn’t do to me, I will never give my baby another angry or unkind word ever again.

Christ, just the knowledge that she let me touch her, that she trusted me enough to touch her after what they did humbles me so much that I let out another cry and feel myself falling to the floor.

I realize I’m sobbing when Miah wraps his arms around me from behind and starts pulling me into his embrace, offering a comfort I can’t stand at this moment.

I shove him away because being touched right now physically hurts. Time is gone as I grab my head and sob, needing some sort of release for this pain attacking my insides.

I’m broken.

***

Paulette

I wake to the sounds of agony and a howling that sends shivers clear down my spine as the pain echoed there assaults my ears. My heart is racing as I recognize that husky timber and I’m running out of the room before I realize it, only to stop dead in my tracks when I see Miah and Jace standing to the side, crying silently while Jared crouches on the floor, rocking back and forth as horrible cries of pure pain burst free.

He’s pulling at his hair and making such terrible sounds that I feel my heart stutter as I look at his brothers imploringly. I finally catch Jace’s eyes and I see another tear track down his cheek before he nods at Jared with an imploring look.

“Help him.”

The plea reaches me and I stumble forward, not sure what I can possibly do but knowing that I need to touch him and hold him close. I just need to stop whatever is going on, and while I don’t know if my being here is a good idea, I push forward and fall to my knees in front of him, gripping his face between my hands to pull his gaze to mine.

“Jared?”

My voice is a croak as I look into his eyes and see such desolation, it breaks my heart. He’s not hearing me and it scares me half to death when I look again and see nothing, as if he’s gone, as if whatever he’s feeling is so much that he’s gone within himself and has no intentions of coming back.

“Jared?”

I say his name louder this time to no avail and feel my heart stutter at the thought of losing him to whatever has happened. I take a risk then, knowing that he probably won’t be too thrilled at my words, but needing to do something, anything right now to get him back.

“Sugar Bear? What’s wrong, baby?” I whisper, feeling my own cheeks wet with tears when he just keeps rocking and moaning as if in pain.

God! Please help me
, I beg, slapping softly at his cheeks as my desperation starts mounting. Jace and Miah are terrified and still crying when I look over.

Fuck this.

I grab his face harder and lunge forward, knowing that if he comes back, he’ll likely push me away. I don’t care. I’d do anything, suffer any and all rejection to see his eyes clear and that insanity I see lurking there disappear.

My mouth hits his just as he goes to yell again and I kiss him for all I’m worth, not even caring that this is my first kiss and it’s all teeth and desperation.

I kiss him hard and furiously, getting lightheaded when the air runs out and my teeth start aching. I kiss him harder still, and almost cry my relief when I feel him jerk and groan.

My eyes dart up to his and my heart starts beating again when I see that he’s back, that the madness from before has left, and in its wake is so much sadness.

When I can’t take another second without drawing a breath I pull away, still cradling his face.

“Jared, I—”

He pulls me closer and buries his face in my neck before I can finish the apology, his big body surrounding mine completely as he trembles and tries to fuse us together, not a breath to separate us.

It feels so good just to be held this way that I find the courage to run a hand through his hair and pet at him softly, cooing sweetly to him as he pulls me closer and finally stops shaking.

“You okay, Sugar Bear?” I whisper, pulling away slightly to stroke at his stubbled jaw.

I feel so scared right now because I have never seen him this way. Jared is always strong and hard, the rock I’d build my home on any day of the week.

“Cupcake,” he breathes so soft and adoringly that I suck my lips in to stop a cry of happiness.

“Shh, it’s okay, baby. Whatever it is it will be okay,” I croon, hugging him closer when a hard shudder rips through him and into me.

“They hurt you so bad, Cupcake,” he gasps and I tense for a second before closing my eyes in dread. “How can you even stand to let me touch you when I failed you?”

He thinks he failed me? None of what he’s saying makes sense and I centre myself as he clutches me before pulling back and looking him square in the eye.

I’m terrified to ask, my heart is beating so hard that I feel my panic rise to new levels, but being a coward has only taken me to bad places, so I may as well suck it up and just go for it. I need to know what the hell had him so anguished.

“What are you talking about, Jared? You didn’t fail me. I failed you,” I whisper, swallowing roughly.

His eyes go hard, gentling when I rear back and he pulls me closer, shaking his head.

“You were trying to survive, Cupcake, I see that now. You have nothing to be sorry for. I should have seen the fear in you. I should have done more than sit outside your window and think with my Goddamned dick!” he growls and I giggle, not able to stop myself because of the image that pops into my head. “They hurt you.”

My chest clenches but I nod, meeting his eyes.

“They did. But they didn’t win because I’m still here and I’ll be Goddamned if I let what those animals did break me. A beating is not the end of the world.”

That gets me a hard look and I see him glance over my shoulder. I follow his gaze, biting my lip when Jace and Miah both swallow and look at me before nodding and turning to leave.

It’s only when the door is closed that Jared turns my eyes back to his and makes me meet his stare.

“Don’t lie to me, Cupcake. I saw it.”

I know what he’s saying and I feel my heart drop to my toes when he looks over at what used to be a computer monitor. The thing is trashed and splintered into pieces and it’s only when I see his bloody fist that the truth hits home.

“They posted it?”

Jared nods and pulls both of us to our feet in one strong move.

“Yes and I want to know who it was,” he says, wrapping my legs around his waist as he strides to his room and moves onto the bed, my body still plastered to him as if he’s terrified to let me go.