Jenny Undead (The Thirteen: Book One) (17 page)

“That isn't me,” she said.
“You love Jenny Alive. Not Jenny Undead. You can't love this
thing I've become.”

“You're not as different as you think you
are,” he said. “You're pushing me away because you're
afraid you're going to hurt me.”

“I am going to hurt you,” she said.
“It's only a matter of time.”

“I'll take my chances,” he said.

“You're an idiot,” she said.

“See? Some things never change.”

“I should have pretended I was a
rotter.”

Declan frowned. “Why were you there? What
was that thing your brother had?”

“A centrifuge,” she said.

“Why did you want a centrifuge?” he
said, a puzzled look crossing his face.

Jenny looked away. She couldn't tell him
why. It would give him hope. And she didn't think hope was what he
needed right now. He needed to stay away and get on with his
life.

“Aren't those for testing blood?” he
said. “Why would you need something like that?”

“Deck...”

“I've bared my soul to you, Jen. Just tell
me what's going on.”

“I can't.”

“Why the fuck not?”

“Because I don't know what it
means.”

“Jenny, let me help you. For once
in your life, let me help you.”

“I don't have a life. I never
will.”

“Why won't you tell me?” He grabbed
her hand. She tried to pull away, but he held onto it. His skin was
so hot. This time he didn't show any revulsion at all. “Jen,
I'm not leaving. I don't care if you're alive or dead or somewhere
in between. I'm never leaving again.”

“I can't ever be alive with you again,
Declan,” she said. “I can't make love or sleep or do
things just to make my heart race. I'm dead. Just dead.”

“I don't care,” he said.
“You'll have to kill me.”

Jenny looked down at his hand holding hers.
“There was a message,” she said. “From my
mother.”

“How? I thought she was dead.”

“Casey found it in her old office. It was
a list of thirteen names. Casey and my names were on it. We were
the survivors of the experiments they did.”

“Survivors?” he said. “So a
bunch of people died?”

“Kids,” said Jenny. “We were
all kids. I was the oldest and I was just sixteen. But the names
weren't all that were on it.”

“What else?”

“You know who my mom is, don't
you?”

“Anna Hawkins,” he said.

“You know what she did?”

Declan looked uncomfortable. “Is it true?
Did she really start all this shit? The plague?”

“I don't know,” said Jenny.
“But the note said that there was a cure.”

“What?” said Declan. He
straightened. “What is it?”

“My mother is crazy,” said Jenny.
“Casey said she went nuts in the bunker they lived
in.”

“Jen, what's the cure?”

“It's us,” Jenny said. “The
Thirteen. The survivors. She said I was the key. I don't know what
any of it means. I don't understand.”

“So, you're the cure?”

“Maybe,” she said. “It's all
fucking cryptic.”

“But, you might be.”

Jenny shrugged. “Yeah.”

Declan stared at her for a moment. He put a hand
through his hair roughly, making it stand on end. He looked away
from her towards the tunnel, then met her eyes again.

“Jesus Christ,” said Declan.

“It doesn't mean anything,” said
Jenny. “I don't even know if my mom was sane when she wrote
that. It means nothing without more information.”

“Fuck, Jen. Do you know what this
is?” Declan looked twitchy, like he didn't know what to do
with himself.

“Just another way for my family to fuck
with me?”

“No,” said Declan.
He put his hands on her shoulders. “This is hope,
Jenny.” He smiled. “This is fucking hope.
You're
hope.”

“It's not that simple.”

“It doesn't matter,” said Declan.
“It's not the facts that keep us going. It's the promise that
things could get better. That there really is someone out there
who can help us. That someone is willing to help us. It's the
reason there are still so many Righteous. People want to think
there's something better.”

“But I don't know what to do!” Jenny
blurted out. Declan was so close. The smell of him was hard to
ignore. It would be too easy to hurt him. She stepped away from him
and his hands fell to his sides. “I don't know what else to
do, Declan. My mother is probably dead, none of us know anything
about microscopes or science or blood, and everything that was
important to me was taken away.”

“I'm not gone, Jen,” said Declan.
“I'm right here.”

“But you shouldn't be,” said Jenny.
“You don't understand how dangerous it is for you to be
around me. I'm going to kill you eventually, Deck. I keep telling
you I'm not the same.”

“You think I'm the
same?” he said, his voice suddenly gone cold. “I killed
a man. I've done things since you left that I never imagined I
would do. Bad things. I'm not the same either. We've both taken
lives.” Jenny shook her head and Declan frowned.
“You
have
killed people,
haven't you?” he said.

“Yes,” she said. She grimaced.
“I don't want to tell you about it.”

He smiled. “You can if you want to.”
He reached for her hand again.

Jenny was on him in seconds, her hand on his
throat, pinning him to the wall. All traces of humor disappeared
from his face. There was fear in his eyes as she looked into
him.

“Do you see how easy it would be to hurt
you?” she whispered. “I lose control for a second and
you're dead. Or worse. Don't make this light, do you understand me?
It takes every part of me not to kill you.” She let go of him
with some effort and stepped away. Declan rubbed his throat. They
stood in silence for a long time. At last he spoke.

“This cure your mom talked about,”
he said. “Have you considered it might cure you,
too?”

“Deck,” Jenny said softly, her chest
hurting. “Baby, I'm dead. I can't ever be alive
again.”

“How do you know?” he said, the
words sounding like something being ripped from inside of him.
“You can't possibly know that for sure. You don't know what
your mother planned.”

“I'm sorry,” Jenny said. “We
can't ever be together. Not like this.”

“Then make me what you are,” he
said.

“What?”

“I don't care how bad it is,” he
said. “It can't be worse than living without you. Make me one
of you. One of The Thirteen. Can you do it?”

Jenny thought of the rotter in the train car. He
had eaten part of her and been changed. The old rotter had been too
long dead for it to be anything but tragic, but would it work on a
healthier person? Could Declan become like her? They would be
together then. For as long as they were still walking around, they
would be able to be together. But they would be dead. Both of
them.

“No,” she said finally.

“You can't do it, or you won't?” he
said.

“Both,” said Jenny. “I don't
know. I might know a way, but...”

“Do it!” Declan said, tears filling
his eyes. “You have to let me help you. You have to let me be
with you. And if this is the only way, then I want you to do it. I
want you to kill me.”

“You can't ask me to do this,” she
said. “I can't be in this place anymore. I have to go
outside.”

She walked hurriedly out through the tunnel,
Declan following close behind. When she got in the open air she
breathed deeply even though she didn't have to. The cool air
tingled in her lungs. Something caught her eye nearby and she
froze. Then she looked around at Declan.

“You found it?” she said.

“It was just out of gas,” he said.
“I filled it up with diesel and it was good to go.”

“It's not my car,” she said, looking
at it sadly. It was the last thing Declan had done for her before
she went back to the Underground.

“It's yours,” he said. “You
just need a car guy to keep it running.”

“Declan, I can't turn you. Please don't
ask me.”

“I know,” he said. “I'm sorry.
But you have to let me help you.”

“It's dangerous for you,” she
said.

“I'll take the risk.”

Jenny nodded. “Okay. But we have to be
careful.”

“I understand,” he said. He raised
an eyebrow. “You're planning something, aren't you? This was
just your first stop.”

“I had to decide if you'd gone crazy and
started killing everyone.”

“Did you decide?”

“Aside from having a death wish, I believe
you,” she said. “And if you hadn't killed Joshua, I
probably would have.”

“Who do you think killed everyone
else?”

“I don't know yet,” said Jenny.
“But I'm going to find out.”

“Where to first?”

“Expo,” she said. “I'm going
to check out Sully's tent.”

“Won't Sully have a bit of a problem with
that?”

“No,” she said. “We have him.
Did you know he was a scientist?”

“I did not,” said Declan.

“And that he worked for my mom?”

“What?”

“And that he claims he's been stalking me
on her orders? He arranged for Casey to get caught in the train
car, too. He's the reason I died.”

“And you're letting him help you?”
said Declan. “Why didn't you kill him?”

“Because,” said Jenny. “He
might be able to help me find my mother, and she can tell us how I cure
people.”

“What about the murderer?” said
Declan.

“That's where you come
in,” said Jenny. “While I'm searching Sully's place,
you're going to ask around. Find out if anyone knows anything about
the murders on the poles. Ask about living
and
rotter victims.”

“And just how do you plan on getting into
Expo?” said Declan. “You're supposed to be
dead.”

“I am dead,” she said.
“Besides, it's night. I don't know any of the door guys at
night. Only those two guys who are afraid of you.”

“Afraid of me? You mean Tyler and Kevin?
They're not afraid of me.”

“The fuck they're not,” she said
smiling. “I've seen how they look at you.”

They got into the car, Jenny in the driver's
seat. Declan handed her the keys.

“You have changed, you know,” he
said.

“I keep telling you,” said
Jenny.

“Not the way you think, though,” he
said.

“What does that mean?”

He studied her. “I don't know. It's like
you're driven. Tougher.”

“I always wanted to be tougher.”

“We're going to figure this out,
Jen.”

“Sorry if I'm skeptical,” said
Jenny. “I'm not doing this for me anymore. I've lost hope for
me. But if I can help others, all the people who have
survived...” Jenny thought about Adam, the man who had died
outside Expo. He had love and family and hope, and it had been
cruelly taken away from him. “Other people have love too.
Other people have faith that a better world is going to come out of
all this. None of that made me special.”

“You are special, Jen.”

“The fuck I am,” she said, too
harshly. “I'm not asking for sympathy, Deck. I'm saying that
if we figure this out, if I can help people... I guess I have to
try.”

Declan nodded, looking at her strangely, like
he'd never seen her before. “I guess you do,” he said
softly.

“Declan, that's Tyler
standing there.”

“Yes it is,” he said, his eye
twitching slightly.

“What should we do?”

“I do not have a plan,” he said.

Jenny eyed the razorwire fence. “I could climb up on
the other side. I might heal quickly. The scar on my back is almost
totally gone.”

“What?” said Declan, looking at her.
“The big gnarled purple scar that stuck out a half inch? It's
just gone?”

“Not totally.”

“Jen...”

“Don't even say it, Declan. It's not a
sign that I'm getting better. It's just another reminder of my
freakiness.”

“If you say so,” he said. “But
you can't climb the fence.”

“Why not?”

“Because of that.” He pointed off to
the side and Jenny saw a prowler come round the corner, carrying a
crossbow. “And that,” Declan said, pointing the other
way. A woman with a shotgun was perched on a rusty and vine-covered
car scoping out the fence. “You might heal faster than most,
but I'm guessing that blowing your head off will still do the
trick.”

“You could be right,” she said.
“Well what's your suggestion, genius?”

“Do you trust me?”

It caught her off guard. Finally she narrowed
her eyes. “Depends,” she said.

“Seriously?”

“I guess I trust you,” she said.
“When you're not pointing a gun at me.”

“I was just being cautious,” he
said.

“I trust you.”

“Good. Follow me.” He opened the
door and was out of the car and walking toward the gate before
Jenny knew what was happening.

“Shit,” she said. She followed him,
running to catch up. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Put your sunglasses on and act
sad.”

She fished in her pocket for her glasses.
“Why am I sad?” She slipped them on her face.

` “Because you just lost your
sister.”

Tyler had his back turned as they approached.
When he turned around he stared at Jenny.

“Hey, T,” said Declan.

“The fuck is this?” said Tyler, not
taking his eyes from Jenny. “I was at your
funeral.”

“This is Jenny's sister,” said
Declan, so calm, even Jenny almost believed him.

Jenny nodded at him. “Hey. I'm...Anna. You
can close your mouth.”

“What are you, a twin or something?”
said Tyler. He looked at Declan. “I thought I was seeing a
ghost for a minute. Goddamn, Munro. You could warn me.”

“Yeah, I'll just whip out my cell phone
and text you. And then we can meet for brunch on
Saturday.”

“Fuck you, Munro,” said Tyler.
Declan grinned.

“Sully's holding some of Jenny's stuff
for, er, Anna here. We're just picking it up.”

“It's late,” said Tyler. “I'm
not supposed to let anybody but vendors in right now.”

“Come on, T,” said Declan.
“You know me. And Jen's sister wants to get out of Chicago
tomorrow. I could owe you one.”

“Shit, Munro,” said Tyler, breaking
into a smile. “I'm just messing with you.” He looked at
Jenny and his face fell. “I'm real sorry about your sister.
She was a kickass dame.”

“Dame?” said Jenny.

“Y'all can go where you please, you know
that, Munro. But something weird's going on with Sully. He hasn't
been around much since...you know.” He glanced at Jenny.
“Since she died. I think he was pretty broken up.”

Jenny coughed to hide the humorless laugh that
tumbled out. Fucking Sully.

“We know where to look,” said
Declan. “Thanks, man.”

Declan veered off, giving her a nod. Expo was a
different place after hours. Without all the people it looked like
an abandoned flea market. A few vendors were chatting with each
other here and there, sitting on the ground and leaning against
tables. Most were in their tents or shelters. Jenny slipped into
Sully's tent unseen.

It wasn't empty.