Jenny Undead (The Thirteen: Book One) (21 page)

Lucy smiled unexpectedly, then. An eerie,
unpleasant smile. “Practice,” she said, drawing the
word out. Jenny heard a click and her chest exploded. She shook her
head, trying to understand why she was on the floor. Jenny looked
down at the hole ripped through her chest. The glistening red of it
was almost pleasing and she smiled up at Lucy. She could feel a
gurgling where the bullet had gone through, and something like
metal chinking against metal.

“Kill her!” Lucy screamed at
Beacon.

Jenny looked behind her. Beacon and Veronica
were standing together with grim looks on their faces. Beacon met
Jenny's eyes. Veronica was staring at Lucy.

“You already did,” Veronica said.
“You already killed her.”

“She's a fucking rotter, V,” Lucy
said. “We have to take her down.”

“She was one of us, Lu,” Beacon
said, his soft voice even softer. “For fuck's sake, give it
up.”

Jenny tried to stand up. The red was so bright.
She could smell Lucy's blood, her meat, her life. She stood, but
fell over again, bubbles steaming out of the bullet hole in her
chest. Lucy cocked the gun, but Abel reached around her and plucked
it out of her hand. He tossed it to Declan, who caught it with one
hand.

“Time to pay the piper, sweetheart,”
Abel crooned. Lucy jumped away from him. She pulled out a small
knife from her belt and held it in front of her. She looked to
Veronica.

“Help me, V,” she said.
“They're going to kill me.”

“I know,” said Veronica.

Lucy shook her head, uncomprehending.
“This is serious. Beacon?”

“We loved her, Lucy,” he said,
looking at Jenny. “Declan loved her first. But then she was
family. She was like a sister. She was like your sister, too. And
you sent her to die. You broke us. We all might as well have died
when Jenny died.” Beacon turned away, wiping at his face.
“You're not family any more, Lu. I don't know who you
are. I wouldn't save you, even if
I could.”

“Don't say that,” said Lucy.

Jenny tried to get up again, but it was like
gravity had settled in her chest. There was a burning smell coming
from her. She screamed in frustration. She had to get to Lucy. She
wanted to rip her apart.

“Let me go,” Lucy said to Declan,
her voice sweet. “Please, Munro. Just let me walk away. I
won't hurt her again.”

“You can't hurt her any more,” said
Declan. His voice was cool. “You're even worse than Sully.
Worse than a fucking serial killer. Do you understand that? Jenny
saved me. She saved us all. We were so jaded and cruel before she
came. She brought us to life. Jenny was salvation and you killed
her. You turned her into something else against her
will.”

“I just told her to go,” Lucy said,
sounding empty and weak. “She didn't have to
listen.”

“She listened because she trusted
you,” said Declan. “Maybe even more than she trusted
me.” Declan raised his arm and Jenny realized he had the gun
in his hand. The way he looked at Lucy reminded her of stories
she'd heard about him, before they met. It reminded her of the fear
in Joshua's eyes when she mentioned his name, of the way Casey and
the others looked at her when they found out about him. It would
have scared her once. Jenny Alive might have run away. But Jenny
Undead didn't care. Jenny Undead liked it.

“Munro,” Lucy said, breathless.
“I love you. Don't do this.”

“Jenny is my life, Lucy. Dead or
alive.” Declan cocked the revolver. He looked at Jenny down
on the ground. Their eyes met and Jenny forgot about the red. She
forgot about the force in her chest. She remembered the abandoned
department store. She remembered what it felt like to love him and
to cling to that feeling like it was air in her lungs. She
remembered warmth and touching and forgetting there was anyone else
left in the world. Nights too warm under the sheets when everyone
else was shivering. And laughing. Laughing so much that their faces
hurt. Jenny couldn't remember what it felt like to laugh. She felt
a prickle behind her eyes and a wetness on her face.

“We don't know how to be without each
other,” Declan said. “Remember?”

“I remember,” said Jenny.

“I'm not leaving,” said Declan.

“I don't want you to,” said
Jenny.

Declan looked back at Lucy. “It's just
like when you were alive, Jen. I'll fucking kill anyone who tries
to hurt you..”

“I know,” said Jenny.

“I love you, Jen,” he said, and
pulled the trigger. Lucy barely made a sound as she hit the
floor.

The pressure in Jenny's chest was easing a bit
and she sat up, staring at Lucy's body. Everyone was staring at
Lucy's body. There were footsteps in the hall, then Trix emerged,
looking pale. She looked down at Lucy then at Jenny.

“Who's the dead bitch and why are you on
the floor?” she said.

“The dead bitch shot her,” said
Abel. “And then the boyfriend shot the bitch dead.”

Declan seemed to gather himself and remember
Jenny. He walked over and crouched down, looking at the wound in
her chest. He didn't meet her eyes. “Are you okay?” he
said.

“I'm fine,” said Jenny. “Just
stings a little.”

Declan pulled at the fabric where the bullet had
torn a hole. There was still an uncomfortable clicking in Jenny's
chest, but it was bearable. Declan frowned, looking at her face for
the first time.

“It's healing,” he said.

“Yeah, it does that,” said Jenny.
She took Declan's hand and he helped her up.

Declan was looking at her arm. The arm that she
had stabbed all the way through to the other side only hours
before. There was a thin red scar where it should have been
festering meat.

“What are you?” said Beacon, staring
at Jenny.

“Does it matter?” said Jenny.

“Who the hell are these guys?” said
Trix. “Aww. Did you bring me dinner?”

Jenny looked around the room. There was too much
blood. It was intoxicating. She looked at Lucy, a pile of useless
flesh and bones on the floor. Declan shouldn't have shot her. She
knew that in the back of her mind, but it was all muddled in images
of a blood-red world and the sound of wet, beating hearts and
gnashing teeth. She looked at Declan who looked back soberly.

“Declan, we didn't know,” Veronica
said. “We had no idea what Lu was up to. You have to believe
us.”

“Why wouldn't I?” Declan said, his
voice sounding far away as he stared at Jenny. “You should
go. Both of you. Not safe for you here.”

“No,” said Beacon. “We're with
you, Munro. Nothing's changed.”

Declan tore his eyes from Jenny's to look at
Beacon. “Everything's changed,” he said.

“I need to get out of here,” said
Jenny. She backed out of the room, knocking into Abel on her way
out.

Jenny put her elbows on the top of her car. The
car Declan had made for Jenny Alive, the Jenny who had been warm
and soft and full of life. She pressed her forehead against the
cold metal. Only it wasn't cold, not to her. She was already
cold.

“Fuck!” she
screamed into the metal. Her breath didn't even fog it up. She
realized she was crying again. How could she be crying? She'd never
seen the others so much as tear up. She didn't even know if they
could. Beacon's words rang in her head:
What are you?
A monster. A killer. Something new and evil and
wrong.

A cure.

“Dammit,” she said, pushing away
from the car. She kicked it, leaving a dent in the side. Everyone
kept saying she was the cure. No one knew how or why, but it was
like a mantra that scraped down her bones like fingernails on a
chalkboard. And now she was saying it to herself. She screamed into
the air.

She turned at the smell of blood, and stepped
back when she saw Declan coming toward her, striding toward her on
long legs, his hands in his pockets. Jenny's chest hurt but it
wasn't from the bullet. It was the same ache she felt every time
she looked at him.

“Declan, go away.”

“No,” he said, stopping in front of
her.

“You shouldn't be here,” she said,
looking past him, toward the museum. “I'm so hungry, Deck.
I've never been this hungry.”

“Remember when we met?” he said.

“No,” she lied.

“You were hungry then, too,” he
said.

“Stop it.”

“All I had was a bag of stale
crackers,” he said. He was standing motionless in front of
her, his hands still in his pockets, as if afraid of what would
happen if he took them out. Jenny could feel his eyes on her. She
expected the red to come again, but it didn't. Just the vague ache
of hunger.

“I don't want to talk about this,
Declan,” she said. “It hurts.”

“Why?” he said. When she didn't
answer, he continued. “You ate all those crackers and I let
you. I was hungry too, but I gave every last crumb to you. I never
gave anything to anyone back then, but I gave you everything I had.
You were like a wild thing with those damn crackers.” He
laughed, but it was full of sadness. “And then you looked at
me with those big eyes and you smiled at me. You said thank you. I
could never explain it, what happened then.”

Jenny turned away from him. “I
can't,” she said. “I can't think about this. I have to
find Casey.”

“Abel told us what he said. This prophet
guy,” said Declan. “You're supposed to save
me.”

“Maybe I'm supposed to send you away to
save you,” said Jenny, but there was no force in the
statement.

“Jenny, look at me.”

“No. I don't want you to see me,”
she said. “I don't want you to remember me like
this.”

“Jen, I just killed someone who I used to
care about. And you saw it.”

“You killed Lucy because of me,”
said Jenny. “And now you have to carry that around with
you.”

“I killed her so you wouldn't have
to,” he said. “And because I was doing what I've always
done. What you've never needed, but I've done anyway.”

“What's that?”

“Protecting you,” he said.
“You've always been strong, Jen. I know you let me do it
sometimes and I know you didn't need me. But I needed you. I needed
to protect you. It wasn't because you couldn't do it yourself, or
because I was a man and felt it was my duty. It was because no one
ever did it for you. Everyone should feel protected sometime. You
never had that, and I wanted it for you. If I could have gone back
in time and carried you away from that lab, I would have done it.
No matter the consequences. Maybe you're the one who's going to
save everyone. But you have to understand, I don't care about that.
If I could have saved you back then, I would have done it in a
heartbeat. Let this goddamn world burn to ashes. Let me burn with
it. If I knew I gave you a day, or an hour or a minute to feel
safe, it would all be worth it.”

“I'm going to hurt you someday, Declan.
And I think it might kill me when I do.”

“You don't know that,” he said.

Jenny met his eyes. “I can feel your blood
throbbing through your veins,” she said. “From where
I'm standing, a foot away, I can feel your heart beating. I can
smell the muscle and sinew and organs that make up the meat of you.
And the rich marrow in your bones.” Jenny felt suddenly
breathless, a feeling that felt like being plunged into cold water.
She couldn't feel breathless. She didn't have breath. “I want
to rip you apart, Declan. I can already feel the hot blood running
down my throat and your flesh in my mouth. I know that if I just
took one bite of you, that I would finally feel warm again after so
long being cold. I would stop being hungry for just a minute, and
this rage in my chest would stop for the first time. And for a
moment, I wouldn't feel cold and empty and alone.” Jenny took
a step back. “Killing you would be peace. I told you I was a
monster, Deck. You have to stay away. Run away. Just fucking run,
remember? I'm no better than they were. I'm worse.”

“You're crying again.”

“No, I'm not. I can't.”

Declan was quiet for a long time. Jenny watched
him staring at her. This was it. She'd finally convinced him. He
was going to go away, to live his life. To be safe.

“Do it,” he said.

“Do what?”

He held out his arm. “Take me, kill me. I
don't care.”

“You have no idea what you're
saying,” she said.

“I do. If it will bring you peace even for
a second, then so be it. Bite me, Jenny. It'll be my final act. To
finally bring you peace.”

“Stop it.”

“Just fucking do
it!” he said, his voice cracking. “In fact, I don't
know why you've taken this long. Just kill me. Put me out of my
fucking misery.
Do it!
” He
thrust his bare forearm in her face.

“
NO!
” she
screamed. She backed away from him until she could feel the car
against her back. Declan was staring at her, his expression
indiscernible. She closed her eyes, unable to shake the feeling of
not being able to catch her breath.

“Why?” Declan said, his voice so low
it was almost a whisper.

“Because I won't,” she said.
“I can't.”

“Why, Jenny?”

“I'm dead, Declan. Just let it go at that.
Maybe I'm fucking sentimental.” There was a bitterness to her
voice that surprised her. She could taste the bitterness in the
back of her throat.

“Bullshit. Why?”

“Do you really think that I just stopped
loving you?” she said. “Do you think I didn't come back
and watch you? That I didn't have to fight with the urge to come
back to you, no matter how dead I was?”

“You came back?” he said. She could feel his heart racing.

“Of course I fucking came back,” she
said. “I saw you. Screaming, crazy, bashing those rotters
into jelly. I thought...” She paused, trying to gather what
she wanted to say. “If I came back, it would drive you
insane. That's what I thought. You were on the edge, and if you saw
me, maybe you'd just hit the point of no return. And that would be
my fault. Because I was selfish and I wanted to see you. To ask for
your forgiveness. I couldn't do that to you.”

“You saw that?” he said.

“And the funeral,” she said.

Declan rubbed his mouth with his hand. “I
wouldn't have gone insane,” he said.

“You don't know that.”

“I was so sad, Jen. I've never felt that way
before. I never want to feel that way again. And angry. Furious at
everything and nothing at the same time. I just wanted you
back.”

“I'll never be who I was,” she
said.

“Neither will I.”

“We can't be together, Declan. Not ever.
When you touch me, I'll always be cold. When you're near, I'll
always think of the blood.”

Declan stepped toward her, his boot scuffing on
the ground. He reached out and took her cold hand in his hot one.
“Just let me be next to you. It's all I ask. Let me protect
you.”

“How do you protect a monster?”

“I don't know,” he said. “But
I'm going to try.” He shrugged. “Maybe we're not so
different, Jen. Maybe we're both monsters. Maybe all of us are
monsters. Just some of us know how to pretend better.”

“You're crazy,” she said.

“You're still crying.”

“No, I'm not,” she said.
“Remember, dead girls don't cry.”

The others filed outside as Jenny wiped her face
with the heel of her hand. She saw the gauntness of Trix's face,
the snarl that Abel kept hiding. They needed to eat soon. Beacon
and Veronica stared at Jenny with pitying looks on their faces.
Jenny looked away.

“Something's happened,” said
Declan.

“Your little friends have something to
say,” said Trix, a strain to her voice.

Jenny looked at Beacon, who shrank back from her
stare. “What is it?” said Jenny irritably.

“Hey, we don't have to be here,”
said Veronica, shifting her weight.

“You okay?” Declan asked her.

“Fine,” said Jenny. “I'm
sorry, V. I'm just really hungry.” Beacon and Veronica
exchanged a look. Jenny gritted her teeth. “I'm not going to
eat you, okay?”

Beacon nodded. “Lucy didn't follow Munro
here,” he said. “She talked to someone, I think. I
don't know who. We never saw him. We waited in the car and when she
came back out, she drove us here.”

“Where?” Jenny said.

“Uptown,” said Veronica. “Just
some brick building.”

“Can you take us there?” said
Jenny.

“Yeah,” said Beacon. “I think
I can remember how to get there.”

Jenny eyed Declan. “We'd better take
separate cars. We'll follow you.”

“I'll ride with you,” Declan
said.

“No,” said Jenny. She looked at Trix
and Abel. All were in a bad way. “Go with Beacon. It's safer
that way.”