Junie B., First Grader: Cheater Pants (4 page)

Then I quick threw the note on the table.

And I ran to my room as fast as I could!

I shut the door real hard.

Then I ran around and around in circles. ’Cause I didn't actually have a plan, that's why.

My stuffed animals looked shocked at me.

What's wrong, Junie B.?
said my
Raggedy Ann named Ruth.
Are you in trouble?

Of course she's in trouble
, said my Raggedy Andy named Larry.
Can't you tell? I bet Mother and Daddy are going to be running in here any second.

My elephant named Philip Johnny Bob did fast thinking.

Hide, Junie B.!
he told me.
Hide in the closet until they calm theirselves down.

I nodded at that good idea.

Elephants are the smartest stuffed animals there is.

After that, I quick grabbed him by his foot. And we ran into my closet.

We climbed over shoes and games. Then we scrunched way down in the corner.

Pretty soon, we heard Mother and Daddy come in my room.

Our hearts started to pound and pound.

Then we tried to scrunch even smaller. Only too bad for us. Because Philip Johnny
Bob accidentally knocked over a shoe box. And it made a loud crashing sound.

Mother and Daddy opened the closet door.

I waved at them real pleasant.

“Hello. How are you today?” I said.

Philip Johnny Bob held out his arms.

I love you people
, he said.

Daddy rolled his eyes.

Then he came into the closet. And he carried us out.

He sat me and Philip Johnny Bob on my bed.

Mother sat next to us. “You didn't have to hide from us, Junie B.,” she said. “Daddy and I didn't come to yell at you. We just came in to talk about this.”

I flopped back on my bed. And I put my pillow on my head.

“Yeah, only I already
did
talk about this, Mother,” I said real muffly. “Me and Mr. Scary talked about this for a jillion million hours at recess.”

Mother took the pillow off my head.

“Yes, I'm sure you did,” she said. “But Daddy and I need to talk to you, too, Junie B. Copying someone else's work is a
very
serious matter, honey.”

Daddy nodded. “Cheating is wrong,” he said. “We want to make sure you understand that.”

I did a big breath at that man.

“But I already
do
understand that, Daddy,” I said. “I don't even like cheaters myself.”

I thought for a minute. Then, all of a sudden, I remembered about the Old Maid.

I sat right up. “And anyway, if you think
cheating is so wrong, then how come you do it yourself?” I said. “Huh, Daddy? Huh?”

Daddy looked shocked at me.

“What?” he said. “What are you talking about? I don't cheat.”

“Yes, you do
too
cheat,” I said back. “On account of last week you cheated me at Old Maid. And I am still not over that terrible experience.”

“Junie B., that's
not
true,” Daddy said. “I already explained that to you, remember? When you raise the Old Maid above the other cards in your hand, it's not cheating. It's part of the fun.”

“Yeah, only it
wasn't
fun,” I said. “It wasn't! ’Cause after you raised her up there, you did a wink at me … like it wasn't really her. Only it WAS her, Daddy! And so
what kind of sneaky trick was that?”

Daddy rolled his eyes way up at the ceiling. Then he shook his head kind of annoyed. And he left my room.

Mother ruffled my hair. “Sorry, honey,” she said. “But I'm afraid Daddy is right on this one. What he did was sneaky, but it wasn't cheating. Trying to fool the other person is supposed to be part of the game.”

After that, she went to go start my bath water.

Me and Philip Johnny Bob flopped back on my pillow.

We did a sigh.

’Cause grown-ups never do anything wrong, it seems.

Not even when they do.

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We worked on our poems for the whole entire morning, almost.

And ha! Mr. Scary was right! Sharing ideas
did
help spark our imaginations! Plus all of us got to add our own special words to our poem! And that is called good teamwork!

After we got done, I printed our poem on a clean piece of paper.

Lennie and José and Herb watched me real careful.

“I am an excellent printer,” I told them.

“I can print with the best of them.”

Pretty soon, all of the other children in Room One finished their poems, too.

And good news! Mr. Scary said there was time to read some of our poems to the class.

Lucille didn't wait to get called on.

She ran right to the front of the room. And she made squinty eyes at Camille and Chenille.

“I wanted to write my poem with two girls in my group,” she said. “But all they wanted to write about was twins, twins, twins.”

She looked at them some more.

“The whole world is not just about you two, you know,” she grouched.

After that, she fluffed her lacy dress. And she read her poem:

After she was finished, Mr. Scary sat there for a second.

Then he smiled and nodded.

“Good, Lucille. Yes. Excellent,” he said. “That poem really says it all, doesn't it?”

Lucille nodded. “Yes,” she said. “It does.”

Then she did another mean look at the twins. And she sat back down.

After that, May didn't wait to be called on, either. She ran to the front of the room just like Lucille. And she hollered out her poem real loud.

Mr. Scary rubbed his chin.

“Yes, well, that certainly was an interesting poem idea, May. But it didn't really follow the rules of a cinquain, did it?” he said.

“You mean
tin can,
” said May.

Mr. Scary did a sigh.

Then he got up from his desk. And he walked May back to her seat.

After that, there was time for one more poem.

My group waved our hands all around in the air.

“We have a good one!” hollered José.

“Yes! A
really
good one!” yelled Lennie.

Mr. Scary nodded at us.

And so all of us jumped up. And we stood in our group. And we read our poem with all of our voices.

A+!

We got an A+ on our poem!

Mr. Scary came right back to our desks.

And he took his red pencil.

And he wrote an A+ right on top of our paper!

“What a
wonderful
poem you guys wrote,” he said. “I loved that.”

We jumped and clapped for ourselves.

It was the funnest morning I ever saw.

And that is not all! ’Cause lunch and recess kept on being fun, too. On account
of when four friends are in happy moods together, life is a joy, I tell you!

After recess, I hurried back to Room One. ’Cause I couldn't wait to see what happy assignment we would do next.

I skipped in the room and looked at the board.

And then, boom!

I came to a screechy stop.

On account of the board had two terrible words on it!

It said, SPELLING TEST!

And I forgot all about that stupid thing!

That dumb test was supposed to be last Friday. And then it got put off till today. And so how was I even supposed to remember that last night? ’Cause I was worried about my note, of course.

My legs felt weakish and limpish.

Very slow, I dragged my feet back to my seat.

The desks were back to normal again.

Herb was already sitting down. He turned around and looked at me.

“What's wrong, Junie B.?” he asked. “Don't you feel good?”

I laid my head on my desk.

“I forgot to study my spelling words last night,” I said. “And now I'm going to be in trouble with Mother and Daddy again.”

I did a whine. “This is the whole dumb problem with school,” I said. “One minute you're all joyful and happy. And the next minute, the joy gets flushed right out of you.”

Herb tried to make me feel better.

“Don't worry. Most of the words are easy this week,” he said.

He paused for a second. “Sort of.”

I did another whine. ’Cause
sort of
does not mean “really.”

In the front of the room, Mr. Scary was passing out paper.

“Is everybody ready for our spelling test this week?” he said.

He winked. “Since you had four extra nights to study, I'm sure everyone will get a perfect grade, right?”

My stomach turned into a knotball at that comment.

Pretty soon, the test began.

Mr. Scary pronounced the first spelling word. And he used it in a sentence.

“
Fox,
” he said. “The
fox
is running through the woods.
Fox.
”

I perked up a little bit. ’Cause I know how to spell
fox
, of course.