Just a Bit Obsessed (9 page)

Christian stopped. “What?”

“You can’t go outside.”

“Why not?”

Alexander untangled himself from Mila and walked to him.

“Your hair is wet,” he said, running his hand through Christian’s hair. His fingers brushed Christian’s ear. “It’s freezing outside.”

Christian swallowed, meeting his dark blue eyes. Over Alexander’s shoulder, he could see that Mila was frowning.

“I never get colds,” Christian said. He smiled, very brightly. “I really gotta go. Have a date with Skyrim tonight. Want to kick that dragon’s ass.”

Alexander snorted. “Skyrim is lame,” he said before walking a bit away to a cupboard and pulling out a towel. “The story is weak, and there are no meaningful choices in the game. Try Planescape: Torment if you want to play a real RPG.”

He returned to Christian and started drying his hair with the towel, looking cool and efficient. Like there was nothing strange about it. Like it was a perfectly normal thing to do.

Christian stared at him.

Okay. He knew Alexander could be a very considerate guy when he wanted to be—Christian had seen him in “Perfect Boyfriend” mode too many times to count, and it always annoyed him—but this… Christian had to admit it felt…nice when he was on the receiving end of his attention. More than nice.

“Shut it, you hater,” Christian said with a forced chuckle, trying to act like this wasn’t making him feel weird at all. “I don’t play Skyrim for the story. I play it because it’s pretty and fun, and I can go anywhere I want! Besides, it has some really cool mods.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “Like Animated Prostitution. You can have sex with anyone!”

Alexander snorted. “Why am I not surprised,” he murmured, his strong fingers massaging his scalp as he continued drying Christian’s hair.

Christian tried not to lean into the touch; really, he tried. “I didn’t know you played videogames. You don’t seem the type.”

“Why?”

Christian shrugged. “I don’t know. You always look so…mature and serious.”

“You don’t have to be immature and over-emotional to enjoy a good videogame.” Alexander’s voice was even, but his eyes glimmered with amusement.

Christian laughed a little. “Yeah, make fun of me.” He went still when Alexander’s fingers brushed his temple.

“It’s dry enough now,” Alexander said, his voice low.

“Yeah,” Christian said, rocking slightly on his feet. His lips parted. He wet them as their gazes locked.

Alexander’s fingers were still in his hair.

“Honey, can you help me with this ornament?”

Alexander didn’t move, still looking at him.

“Alexander?”

Something flickered in Alexander’s eyes. “Yes,” he said.

But he didn’t step away from Christian.

Christian looked over his shoulder at Mila. She had her lips pursed tightly.

When their eyes met, she glared at him.

“Right,” Christian said, turning to the door. “See you.”

Alexander’s hand grabbed his arm.

Christian inhaled shakily, his heart thudding in his throat. “What?” he said, without turning around.

Alexander’s warm breath brushed against his ear. “Merry Christmas.”

Christian exhaled and whispered, “Merry Christmas.”

The hand on his arm lingered for a moment before it was gone. Christian open the door and left. As he always did.

It was dark outside.

It was snowing; soft dreamy flakes of snow whirled and spiraled down to the ground. Bright red and green lights twinkled along the windows and doors of stores while the streets were covered in a carpet of white. It was beautiful. Like something from a fairy tale.

Christian shoved his hands into his pockets and walked. The snow crunched under his feet and soaked into his shoes.

He felt cold to his bones.

“Merry Christmas,” he whispered and laughed, the sound sharp and brittle.

Chapter 12

Christian had seen some unlikely couples before, but nothing had ever come close to the affair between his best friend and Professor Rutledge. Except it wasn’t even an affair anymore: Shawn had actually moved in with Rutledge, which was mind-boggling on so many levels Christian still had trouble believing it.

“Ashford,” Rutledge greeted him, opening the door.

“Professor,” Christian said awkwardly and entered the house. The man might be his best friend’s lover, but there was no way in hell he could call Rutledge by his first name.

“Shawn is there,” Rutledge gestured to the door to his left before giving Christian a hard look. “I’m working, so do not disturb me. Keep your voice down.”

“Yes, sir,” Christian said. What was it about this man that made him feel like he was three inches tall?

The door opened and Shawn’s head emerged. “Are you bullying Christian again?” he said with an eye-roll.

Rutledge raised an eyebrow. “Me? Bullying?”

Giving him a long-suffering look, Shawn walked to Rutledge and kissed him. “Go work on your book while you still can. Don’t forget that you promised Bee and Emily you’d take them shopping. They’re super excited—they’ve wanted a puppy for ages.”

“Yes, black and fluffy,” Rutledge said with a pinched expression on his face.

Shawn grinned. “And with a white star on its forehead! That’s very important for Emily.”

Rutledge gave him a glare. “What if there’s no such puppy?”

“I’m sure you can bully people into finding you one,” Shawn said. “Go work before they wake up.”

Shaking his head and looking moderately irritated, Rutledge kissed Shawn on the lips and headed upstairs, presumably to his office.

“This is seriously creeping me out, man,” Christian said, blinking.

Shawn snorted and led him into the room. “Sometimes it still weirds me out, too.” He flopped down onto the couch and smiled widely. “But I’ve never been so happy.”

Christian looked around the elegant room. “I bet it doesn’t hurt that he’s loaded, huh?”

Shawn just laughed. “So,” he said, turning the TV off. “What’s up with you lately?” He looked at Christian intently, his blue eyes serious. Those were some beautiful eyes, but they were light blue, not at all like—

Christian cringed. This was getting ridiculous.

“I mean, I’ve been a shitty friend lately,” Shawn said with a sheepish look. “Things have been crazy, and Derek practically took over my life. I know it’s a bad excuse, but—”

“Don’t sweat it,” Christian said, sinking into a comfy-looking armchair.

“So, what’s up?” Shawn asked. “You’ve been kind of weird for a while.”

Christian rubbed the corner of his left eye. “Remember the threesome I had with Mila and her boyfriend?”

Shawn nodded, but he was frowning. “Wasn’t it a month ago?”

“Yeah,” Christian said. “The thing is, it wasn’t the only time it happened. Basically, it’s been going on for a month—well, until Christmas.”

Shawn’s eyes widened slightly. “For so long? But you usually don’t…”

“No, I usually don’t,” Christian said quietly.

There was a long silence, during which Christian found three screws on the ceiling and one small stain on the wall that might have been a bug at one time, though he couldn’t imagine Rutledge smashing a bug.

“Are you in a relationship with them?” Shawn said, his voice slow and confused.

The laugh that left Christian’s throat was a bit strained. “No. They’re a couple, and I’m their fuck-toy. That’s it.”

“You aren’t telling me something. I know you, Chris.”

Christian looked at his hands.

“I don’t want a threesome,” he whispered.

“You mean…” Shawn sounded shocked.

“Yeah. I’m fucking jealous. And I hate it. It’s driving me nuts.”

“Jealous of whom? Him…or her?”

“Her,” Christian said, his voice flat. “I hate watching her touch him, and kiss him—and fuck him.” Christian chuckled. “I know; it’s ridiculous. She has every right to touch him—she’s been his girlfriend for two years. I’m nothing to him. But…”

“Are you in love with him?”

Christian licked his lips. “I—I don’t know.” He smiled humorlessly. “If this is love, it fucking sucks. I always thought love was supposed to make people happy. I’ve never felt so shitty before. It’s not even just sex. I hate it when I see them together, when I watch them be all couple-y and cute. She can touch him whenever she wants. She holds his hand. She spends nights with him—she lives with him.”

He met Shawn’s eyes. “I’m starting to hate her, you know. She doesn’t deserve it. She’s a fun, nice girl. I used to like her. And now I kinda want to claw her eyes out, stomp my foot like a kid and shout ‘Mine!’ every time she touches him. And I’m sure she already knows I want more of him. She wants me gone. I know that.” Chris snorted. “And I can’t say I blame her.” He sighed heavily, running a hand over his face. “It’s driving me nuts. And it’s…it’s fucking stupid. I barely know him. I don’t understand him. But it’s like… I can’t separate sex from emotion, you know? I always could before, but with him, I just can’t. I want to
please
him. Want him to like me. It’s fucking ridiculous.”

Shawn was silent for a while before asking quietly, “What about him? Do you think it’s one-sided?”

Slumping back in the armchair, Christian sighed again. “I don’t know. He’s very hard to read. Sometimes I think there’s something there, but… but I don’t think he treats his girlfriend any different than he used to. He’s always so…attentive to her. Still the perfect boyfriend.”

Shawn’s mouth set in a grim line. “Don’t shoot the messenger, but… if he felt the same way you do, wouldn’t he be jealous of her, too? Their relationship would have deteriorated. If they’re still fine, it… it doesn’t really look good for you.”

Christian’s stomach churned. He knew Shawn was right. The same thought had occurred to him, too. “I know.”

They both fell silent.

“What are you going to do?” Shawn said at last.

Christian bit the inside of his cheek.

“The smart thing,” he said, meeting Shawn’s eyes. “Quit while I still can.”

Chapter 13

Alexander felt restless. Edgy.

He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so restless. Mila was snuggled up into his side, watching TV, but he was half-tempted to push her away and—and do something else.

Outside, the wind was howling fitfully down the street, drowning the distant roar of traffic.

Alexander stretched his arm over the back of the couch and drummed his fingers on the upholstery.

“What’s wrong with you?” Mila said, turning her head to him.

“I’m bored,” he said. It was as good an explanation as any. Perhaps he was bored. He’d never been a fan of the holiday season.

“Maybe I can entertain you?” she murmured with a smile, her fingers sliding to his crotch.

Alexander considered it. Sex was a good idea. Maybe it was exactly what he needed to get rid of this strange restlessness.

“All right,” he said. “Suck me off.”

He leaned back as Mila slid onto the floor in front of him.

Alexander closed his eyes.

She was good at giving head, but today it took him a while to get hard. He had trouble shutting his brain off, and even when he finally came, it was barely satisfying.

His restlessness was still there.

“Thanks,” he told Mila, zipping his jeans up.

She gave him an odd look but said nothing, snuggling into his side again.

Alexander fixed his gaze on the screen and drummed his fingers on the back of the couch.

Mila sighed.

After what felt like a century, the doorbell rang.

Relieved to have an excuse to leave the couch, Alexander went to open the door.

Chocolate brown eyes and full lips were the first things he saw.

“Hey,” Christian said.

“Hello,” Alexander heard himself say. He grabbed Christian’s jacket and dragged him inside.

Christian’s lips were very cold, but his mouth was hot and wet—and sweet. Christian made a small noise, wrapping his arms around him, and Alexander groaned and pushed him against the wall, his hands working on Christian’s jacket—too many clothes—

“Christian?”

Mila.

Sighing, Alexander forced himself to stop kissing Christian and step back.

“Hey,” Christian said, looking between them. Alexander didn’t see Mila’s expression, because he was looking at Christian, but Christian looked uncomfortable all of a sudden.

“You’re back already?” Mila said mildly.

Christian’s body stiffened even more. “Sorry—I didn’t mean to intrude. Just wanted to tell you guys that… I think… It’s been a while, and it’s been fun, but…” He smiled crookedly. “It was getting boring. You know I’m not really the type to stick around.”