Just a Little Faith (7 page)

****

Following
Pax up to the eighth floor
to
the oncology portion of the hospital
, the immediate scent of… disinfectant
wafted through Seb's nostrils.
No matter what hospital he visited, the odor stayed the same
.
Brightly painted murals covered the walls
.
T
he sounds of cartoons and video games filled his ears.
A
pproach
ing
the nurses' station,
Pax
spoke to
everyone
as
if she
had known them her whole life.
The way they welcomed
her
with hugs and smiles
,
it was apparent
Pax's weekly visits made a definite impact
.

Seb internally laughed at the
many
double-take
s in his direction
.
He
got similar reactions
from others
when he was out of uniform.
He supposed
they
thought they
knew who he was, but couldn't quite place him.
Smiling in response
,
he
follow
ed
Pax down the hallway.

Stopping beside
a double set of doors,
he
peered through the window
in
to the
room
.
Kids of all ages filled b
eds
and wheelchairs.

Her soft hand touched his arm
.
“Let me go first
. I'll
tell them
I've
brought
a surprise.
”
Her eyes twinkled
.
Seb
nod
d
ed
in agreement.

Hidden behind the door, Seb occasionally peered through the window to watch.

“Hey
,
Pax!”
The children's smiles grew.

W
av
ing
both her hands,
she
greeted them in return.
“Hey guys
.
It is so good to see you
.
I hope you'
re ready for a surprise.
I
've
asked a special guest to come visit.
” Placing her hands on her hips, she
scanned
the room. “
Who do you think it could be?”

Hearing the children s
hout
various names from Mickey Mouse to the President of the United States
,
Seb enjoyed their enthusiasm
in spite of their current circumstances
.

Holding her hands up
,
Pax quieted them down.
“Let me give you a hint. He lives right here in St. Louis. He likes to run around a baseball field and make crazy catches in the outfield
.
He
hits the ball right out of the park
.
Who do you think it could be?”

Seb noticed several of the boys' eyes
widen
, their
mouths form
ing
the words “Sebastian Quinn” before their voice
s
caught up with their thoughts
.
Then suddenly, a tiny little girl
with a Cardinal bandanna covering her bare head
asked,
“Ms. Pax
,
did you bring Sebastian Quinn to visit?”

She
turned toward the small waif of the girl dwarfed by her wheelchair. “I don't know Cassandra… why don't we see who comes through the door?
” Facing the door, Pax grinned in his direction. “
Oh mystery guest… will you come in now?”

Sebastian slipped around the door
,
into the room
.
Cheers and screams
erupt
ed
.
A
smile crossed his lips
,
then sadness touched his heart
.

****

An
overwhelmed look c
a
me across Sebastian's face
.
Pax
reached over and grabbed his hand
, hoping
to give him a momentary sense of reassurance.
He
squeeze
d
in re
turn.

The next few minutes
were
spent fielding various questions from the kids.
Many
ask
ed
standard questions like
,
“How did you get to play in the big leagues? Or “What kind of car do you drive?” The kids
not so familiar with the sport of baseball
sat quietly,
seem
ing
to glow in the excitement of someone famous being in the
same
room
with them
.

“I think we've pummeled poor Seb enough with questions. Why don't we see what he has in this box he brought? Would you like to see?”

Cheers followed.

Pax
introduced him to each child
, speaking to those
in
wheelchairs and
surrounding
beds
. She tried to be kind and compassionate so each child felt loved and special
. While she spoke, Seb handed them a ball show
ing
them his autograph
while parents snapped photos with their cell phones
. Paxson
had
pondered bringing her camera for publicity photos but now she was glad she
hadn't
. This was a moment between these kids and Seb. No one else needed to be a part of it.

After speaking to
each of the
children
she picked up her
things
.
Sebastian helped her into her coat
when little Cassandra's quiet voice called to her.

“Ms. Pax you can't leave yet! You haven't sung our favorite song!”

Paxson
froze. Giving
her a quizzical look
, Seb put a hand on her arm
.
Warmth filled her cheeks. S
wallow
ing
hard
,
she
turn
ed
to face Cassandra.

“Surely you don't want to hear that
after all the excitement of the day. We'll just do it next time.”

The children voiced their displeasure
with
loud booing. The sounds of “No… Ms. Pax… please!” carried across the room.

Sebastian turned to look at Pax
. S
he sighed
,
shrugg
ing
her shoulders.

“Okay. One song… but only because you were so polite when you asked.”

She walked toward the throng of the children
a hesitant
smile
on her face
. Quelling the nerves in her stomach she
opened her mouth to sing.

 

E
yes widen
ing, Seb stepped back
.
The children's smiles softened
as
Pax
sang of Christopher Robin and Winnie the Pooh
in a clear, sweet and melodious voice
. Seb wasn't sure he
'
d heard the song before,
but
he
underst
ood
wh
y the kids wanted her to sing
. Her voice
enthrall
ed him.

Pax finished
the song
. The
children br
oke
out into applause yell
ing for
her to sing it again
,
and
he stopped himself before joining in with their pleadings
.

Pax shook her head no
. “I really have to go. But I'll come back next Thursday.
” She
walked back, putting her hand on
Seb
's arm.
“
Be sure and thank our special guest Sebastian for coming!”

In unison, they screamed
at
the top of their lungs “Thank you Sebastian!”
N
odd
ing, he
smiled and waved
before leaving
the room.
After one last glimpse at the children, he
clamped his mouth shut. He wouldn't break down.
Not here. Not in front of her.

O
ut
in the
parking garage
,
Sebastian
found himself staring a
t
Paxson
.
She mystified him to no end
,
and he longed to unravel all her hidden talents, no matter how many weeks it took.

Pax
son reached the passenger side of the car
,
wait
ing
while
Sebastian
started
to open the door for her
.
Suddenly, h
e switched gears and took her by the arm
turning
her toward him.

“That was beautiful. Thanks so much for sharing it with me.”

She leaned against the car
, her
eyes
filling
with tears.
“They are special people aren't they? The way they find joy in the smallest things. You made a memory for them today, Seb.
I promise
,
the first thing they will show the doctor, nurse or family member who visits will be th
e
baseball you gave them. Thank you for sharing some time with them today. They won't soon forget it
…and neither will I.
”

Sebastian
wanted
to hold her
in his arms
as she let out the emotions she kept hidden from the children.
O
verrul
ing
his initial doubt
, he
tugged
her toward him burying
her in his arms
.
He fe
lt
the tension in her body release in his embrace.

“You've been hiding things from me….” He whispered in a sing-song voice.

She pulled back
,
a puzzled look on her face. “What do you mean by that?”

“I had no idea you were a closet folk singer
.
”

She lowered her head
,
leaning
in
his chest
while
groan
ing
. “I so hoped they wouldn't ask me to do
that
today. I should have known better.”

“Why? You
r
voice is beautiful
.
You should be singing
.
”

She lifted her head
,
her face
blush
ing
at his praise. “I sing three times a week with my church family. But to sing a solo in public is a whole different matter.”

He
looked
down so
his face
was
level
with
hers
.
“Isn't what you just did considered ‘singing in public'?”

She cocked her head to the side.
“Not technically. Those kids are like my family
.
T
hey love me unconditionally. They don't care what you do as long as you show them kindness and compassion.”

He pulled he
r close again
,
rest
ing
his head on top of hers
.
“You aren't giving yourself enough credit. I think you
are
good. Not that I have a trained ear or anything.”

They remained in that position for a few more seconds before
,
much to his disappointment
,
she stepped out of his arms.

“Thank you
,
Seb
,
for the kind words and the hug. Some days the kids get to me more than others. I don't know why. But I appreciate it nonetheless.”

Seb leaned
forward
,
looking
in
to
her
eyes. “It's okay. I was having a hard time myself.
My first instinct was to get out of there.
These kids had been through so much. So many of them were hooked up to IV poles or other machines with bandages all over their body
.
B
ut just by us visiting them the difficulties of their day were forgotten in a moment.
I admit I feel
guilty. I
didn't
deserve their unmerited attention. What have I ever done in
t
his life but hit a baseball well? The
y
are
the real heroes
.
I
appreciate your encouragement
too
.”

“Well, we're even then.”
She l
ightly punch
ed
him in the shoulder.

Seb reached his hand up to his shoulder
acting
as if
she'd
given him a ferocious hit.

“Oh! So
you're
also a closet boxing champion?
What else aren't you telling me?”

Pax laughed as she climbed in the
passenger
seat, the sorrow of the last few moments forgotten.