Authors: Rosalind James
“And I know he already has. This
isn’t
impulsivity.
This is trusting my own judgment for once, and trusting Nic too. But the reason
I rang you,” Emma went on when Lucy would have argued, “is to ask if you’d take
Zack for a couple hours tomorrow morning, while I go in to work and get that
squared away.”
“Get it squared away?” Lucy asked dubiously. “How’s that
going to go over?”
“Like a lead balloon, I expect,” Emma admitted. “But I can’t
worry about that.”
She was at Lucy’s door before seven the next morning, holding
Zack by the hand.
“You’re early,” Lucy said with surprise. “I couldn’t see how
you’d do this, with packing and everything.”
“I did everything last night. Everything’s in the car, ready
to go.”
Lucy looked at her more closely. “All night? Did you get any
sleep at all?”
“Not much,” Emma admitted. “I tried, but I just couldn’t. And
I was all fired up last night, but now I can’t help worrying. You know Roger’s
going to make it as difficult as possible. He’s going to be furious.”
“Tough,” Lucy said roundly. “Sometimes life happens, and I’d
say this is definitely one of those times.”
“So you aren’t angry with me, still?”
“It’s your decision, not mine,” Lucy said reluctantly. “I don’t
want to see you hurt again, that’s all. But you know best.”
“That’s right,” Emma said, straightening her shoulders. “I
do. I really do.” She bent to give Zack a hug and kiss goodbye. “I’ll be back
on the 8:45 ferry,” she told him. “And then we’ll be off.”
“To the airport, right?” Zack asked anxiously. “We’re going
to be with Nic?”
“We sure are. Just as soon as I go in and get my work
figured out, and talk to Roger about needing this week.”
It didn’t turn out to be as simple as that, however. “I know
it’s unexpected,” she told Roger as they stood by his desk. She tried to make
her tone businesslike instead of pleading. She hated explaining, telling him
about her private life, but she couldn’t see any way around it. “You will’ve
seen the news. Nic’s going through a hard time, and he needs us. And I need to
go be with him.”
“Go anywhere you like,” Roger said, his pale scalp
reddening. “But if you leave here today—
again—
don’t plan on coming back
afterwards. How’m I meant to get all this lot done without you? Are we supposed
to tell our clients that your boyfriend
needed
you so he could kick the
ball straight? What, you’re vitally important to the squad? They can’t win without
you? It’s been clear to me from the start that you can’t decide if you’re a mum
or a CAD operator. Now you’ve found something else that your feminine sensibilities
are telling you to put above your work. What’s next, you need to stay home
because you have PMT?”
“You’re not allowed to say that, and you know it,” Emma said
angrily. “And I’m not making any such choice. You’re the one putting it that
way. All right, I don’t get the perfect attendance award like you. Because I
have a son, and a damn
life.
But I get more done than anyone else, you
know I do. And I haven’t missed any more time than Sean. Probably less, in fact.
I’ve never used more than my benefit, other than that one year when Zack and I
both had flu. We couldn’t help that, and we can’t help this either.
I’ve
sure
never missed work because I was hungover, unlike plenty of people in this
office. You can’t say I don’t put my work first. And you can’t do this.”
“I can’t give you the sack for walking out on me without
notice?” Roger asked incredulously. “Too right I can.”
“No.” She could feel her hands trembling, her breath coming
fast, but she looked Roger straight in the pale blue, protuberant eye. He
looked like a cane toad, she decided. An ugly, nasty, warty cane toad. She was
shaky with exhaustion and emotion. Furious. And, suddenly, just plain fed up.
She’d had enough of Roger, of this place, of this job that sucked her soul dry
every single day. “You can’t. Because I quit. You’ve wanted to get rid of me
from Day One. Because I’m better than you, and you know it. You’re jealous, and
you’re a bully, and you’re pathetic, and you’re a . . . a lousy manager. So you
know what? You can take this job and shove it straight up your ass! Because I
quit!”
Roger gaped at her, his lips actually quivering with rage. Emma
saw Sean stifling a fit of the giggles behind him. Others had turned to gawk as
well, now. She stalked to her desk, grabbed the framed photo of Zack. What else
did she need from here? Not a damn thing. Let the next unlucky occupant have
the bottle of Panadol. Lord knew they’d need it.
“Don’t think you’ll ever work here again, after this,” Roger
recovered himself enough to shout across the room. “You come crawling back here
asking for your job back, you’re going to find it’s long gone.”
“No worries,” Emma snapped with all the contempt she’d
stored up during this last long year. “I’m going on to bigger and better
things. You’re going to be hearing about me someday. I’m going to be somebody.
And all you’re ever going to be is an asshole.”
She grabbed her purse and got out of the building as fast as
she could. Made it all the way onto the ferry before she burst into tears.
“Nico. You’ll want to see this,” Nic heard the moment he
stepped back into the hotel room. He’d taken advantage of the time apart from
the team to take a walk through Green Park, past Buckingham Palace. Trying to
calm himself, regain his composure.
“What now?” he asked, the fatigue he’d barely shaken enveloping
him again at the sight of Koti holding up his laptop. What
else
could
happen today? he thought bitterly. Was he going to hear about some girl in
Argentina now?
“Nah, mate. This is good news,” Koti promised. “C’mon, and
I’ll show you.” He waited impatiently for Nic to pull his shoes off, then went
with him into his bedroom, handed him the laptop as he sat down on the bed.
“Check out the video,” he commanded.
“Claudia. What the
hell,”
Nic began, then stopped
short at what she was saying. He let the clip play out for its entire short
duration, then went back to the beginning, played it again to make sure he’d
understood correctly.
She sat there in front of the cameras, poised and beautiful
as always, not a hair out of place. And
defended
him.
“Nic was my partner for more than three years,” she said.
“And no matter what you may have heard elsewhere, he never gave me any reason
to doubt his commitment to me, or his fidelity. Yes, he discovered he had a
child. And when he did, he took responsibility for his son, financially and
otherwise. Our relationship didn’t work out, for reasons entirely unrelated to
that.” Well,
that
bit wasn’t true. Never mind.
“He had no physical relationship with his child’s mother
while he was involved with me,” Claudia was saying now. “He even asked me to
come along during any time he spent with the two of them.” Which she hadn’t,
but never mind that either. A few more sentences, and her statement was over,
the screen going dark again.
“I’d say your troubles are over, mate,” Koti said with a
satisfied smile. “Well on their way, at least.”
“Yeh,” Nic said slowly. “Zack and Emma are on their way
here, that’s the main thing. Arriving late tonight, or early tomorrow, I should
say.”
“All that way?” Koti asked, startled. “That’s dedication.”
“Nah. That’s Emma. She puts her heart on the line, and the
rest of her goes right along with it. If she loves you, she’s in, boots and
all. No half measures for Emma.”
As soon as dinner was over that evening, he was back in the
room again. Eight in the morning, Auckland time. Time to ring Claudia.
“Nic.” The voice sounded the same as ever. Perfectly under
control, beautifully modulated. Not surprised. Not exactly brimming with
enthusiasm to talk to him, either.
“Hi, Claud.” He stopped, not sure how to go on. “Just wanted
to say, thanks,” he said lamely. “For what you said. I know it couldn’t have
been easy.”
“You’re welcome. But I did it for myself, actually. I
couldn’t stomach the idea of people being sorry for me. Poor Claudia, being
dumped for somebody else. I was never angrier with Mum than after she did that.
I’ve had a few words with her about it. Making me look like your fool.”
“You’re not that. You were never that. You’re nobody’s fool.
And whatever you say, it was still a decent thing to do, and a tough one too. And
I appreciate it more than I can say.”
“And now we’re done,” she said. “My mum did wrong, and I’ve
done my best to make it right. I wish you well, but there’s no reason for us to
talk again. Don’t ring me, and I won’t ring you.”
It was one thing to make decisions in the heat of the
moment, Emma found. And another thing entirely to think about them in the
darkness of an airliner, her entire being dragging with exhaustion. Twenty-five
hours in the air, two more spent slumped in a tiny waiting room at LAX between
flight legs, Zack sleeping with his head in her lap. Nic had arranged for them
to fly Business Select, to her immense relief, but even fold-flat beds and all
the amenities couldn’t fix her internal clock, or still the dark thoughts that
her racing mind insisted on producing. At least Zack had slept reasonably well,
and the seatback movies had kept him entertained as well as a six-year-old
could be on a flight that long. But by the time they had endured the endless
wait that was British Customs, Emma felt ready to drop where she stood.
“What time is it?” she asked the London cabbie who had
loaded their bags into the boot before hopping back into the driver’s seat. She
smoothed Zack’s hair, made sure his seatbelt was fastened.
“Just gone one,” he said cheerfully. “Long journey?”
“From New Zealand,” she said wryly. “Yeah, pretty long.”
He whistled. “Here for the Cup final, are you? No, what am I
saying?” he decided. “You two can’t be Kiwi rugby fans. No resemblance
whatsoever.”
“That’s what we are, though,” she sighed.
“Cor,” he said, looking at her in the rearview mirror. “I’d
never’ve thought it.”
She was half-asleep herself by the time he pulled up outside
the big hotel and pulled her bags out, where they were immediately whisked away
by a bellman.
Tip,
Emma fuzzily remembered. She’d been in New Zealand so
long, she’d almost forgotten. She wrestled with the unfamiliar notes she’d
changed back in the Auckland airport, what seemed like days ago. Paid the
cabbie and remembered to tip the bellman as well.
At last, they were in their room. She briefly considered a
shower for Zack, then gave up and helped him into the big bed in one room of
the suite she’d been astonished to find had been reserved for the two of them.
Got his clothes off, opened his suitcase with hands that felt like they
belonged to somebody else, and pulled on his pajamas. Then dragged herself into
the shower, fell into her own wide, white bed, and dropped instantly down into
bottomless slumber.
A night’s sleep helped. And so did a note from Jenna, pushed
under the door sometime before Emma woke up at nine the next morning, inviting the
two of them out for an afternoon of sightseeing.
“I’m so glad you’ve come,” the other woman said as she
pulled Emma into another warm hug. A substantial English breakfast had done its
work in restoring both Emma and Zack to reasonable spirits, a joyous reunion
with Harry providing the bonus. The two boys were in the other bedroom of
Jenna’s suite now, already engrossed in Legos.
“Finn’s been keeping me updated on what’s been going on, and
how hard it’s been for Nic,” Jenna continued, gesturing Emma to a seat on the
couch and sinking down next to her, taking her hand. “It’s all so
awful.
Having Zack go missing . . .” She shuddered. “You poor thing. I can’t even
imagine how horrible that must have been. And this other, this latest, that’s
just doubly unfair. Especially because there’s nothing to it, Finn says. And
he’d know,” she insisted. “He says Nic’s straight as a die. And as Finn’s the
same way himself, you can believe him when he says that.”
“Thanks,” Emma said. She’d teared up yet again at Jenna’s warm
greeting, her defense of Nic, and now she wiped her eyes with a little laugh.
“I appreciate that. But I trust Nic. I just wish there were somebody who
could
say that about him. To the press, I mean. Because he can’t defend himself.
There’s really nothing he can say. ‘I didn’t do it, honestly?’ He can barely
say that to
me,
let alone New Zealand.”
“But somebody else
did
say that,” Jenna said with
surprise. “Haven’t you heard?” She went on to explain Claudia’s surprise
defense, and the effect it had had. “I’m not sure about his endorsements,” she
finished. “Unfortunately, retractions never have the same sensational effect as
revelations, do they? But at least he’s got some vindication out of it. And I
know you must be dying to see him, after all this. But since it won’t be until tonight,
we may as well go see the Tower of London, don’t you think?”
Emma found herself enjoying the tour despite herself. She’d
never been to the U.K.—had never been farther away, since moving to New
Zealand, than the Fiji trip and a couple quick visits to Australia—and London
was one big distraction. “Plus, we don’t have to worry about not looking right,
and getting squished at the pedestrian crossings,” Jenna had pointed out
cheerfully.
Emma had been glad for the outing, for Zack as much as
herself, and for Jenna and the children’s company during dinner that evening. But
it was with a sense of immense relief that she shut the hotel room door at
seven that evening and got Zack into the bath and then his pajamas. Nic had
promised to join them as soon as he’d had his own dinner with the team. He’d
only have a couple hours even then, he’d warned her. She didn’t care. She just
wanted to see him, and hold him.