Just Friends (27 page)

As I sat up, I realised I hadn’t checked the bedside drawers. I shuffled my bottom along the bed and opened the first of three drawers. Nothing. Disappointed, I frowned and shut it, opening the second draw. Nothing. I sighed and opened the final draw to also find… nothing. Angered, I slammed the draw shut.
Who doesn
’
t contain one item in their bedside draw?

I fiddled with my thumbs then peered over my shoulder, maybe that wasn’t Ethan’s Dad’s drawer. Maybe it was his Mum’s. I stood and walked over to the other drawer, refusing to part my sight from it. I thought maybe everything would escape if I removed my eyesight from it for more than a second.

I knelt down and took a deep breath to calm myself. Opening the first draw, it contained a pair of earphones and many packets of headache tablets. The next two draws were empty. I gritted my teeth as I closed the final drawer, I thought I would find something, anything.

“
Wow, this was boring
,” I said to myself. I misplaced my foot as I got to my feet and kicked the corner of the drawer. I mumbled many words that shouldn’t be repeated, hopping on my uninjured foot and holding my agonised foot in my hands, rubbing my big toe in hope to cease the pain. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed an object under the drawer I had just searched. After I rubbed my toe to a bareable pain. I knelt, dropping my head to the floor. It was a small dusty wooden box, no bigger than an A5 piece of paper. I held it between my fingers, scraping it along the floor. This hadn’t been opened in years. The surrounding dust had almost created a cocoon layer of protection around it. I wiped the dust off the lid in disgust. It was a dark mahogany and had a smooth finish once the dust had been removed. I rubbed the rest off with my sleeve. It had ETHAN engraved on the top of it. I ran my fingers over the letters, wiping away the molded dust. “
What do we have here?
”
I unclipped the latch at the front of the box. The lid hinges squeaked as I folded them back. It contained an envelope and taped on the inside of the lid was a square
Polaroid
picture. I delicately tore off the tape and blew the thin layer of dust covering the photo. It was a picture of a woman, smiling and holding a baby in her arms in a hospital bed. After a moment or two, I figure out who it was. It was Ethan’s Mum. I’d never seen a picture of her before, ever. Ethan’s Dad removed all the photos from the house after she died and put them into storage. She was a beautiful woman, but you could see by her skin and expression she wasn’t well. She had shoulder length brown hair and such a beautiful smile. Ethan definitely has her eyes and her smile. I forced a smile as my eyes began to fill, trying to convince myself that I was happy to finally see an image of her, not sad. I carefully stuck the photo back into its original position and grabbed the envelope. It wasn’t sealed, but the back had been folded in to prevent the contents from falling out. I did the same with my envelopes. I hated having to lick them. My hands trembled. I suddenly became angry with myself for not being able to open the envelope. I pinched the letter inside with my thumb and finger and shook the envelope to bring it free. I inhaled and exhaled a few times to compose myself, “
August, stop being an idiot.
”
I unfolded the letter onto the bed. Then I paused.
Should I read this?
If it’s meant for Ethan he should be the first to read it.
Should I give it to him now?
Maybe I should check it first and see if it was something he would need right now. The handwriting was messy. I understood why when I saw
Mum x
signed at the bottom.

My darling Ethan,

You
’
re such a beautiful baby boy. So sweet and beautiful. We
’
ve only known each other for two days, although it seems I know you so well already. Your tiny little hand wrapped itself around my finger for the first time today. My heart is aching knowing I won
’
t be there with you to watch you grow up. As you lay on me, I
’
ve forced the final strength inside of me to write to you. I didn
’
t want to leave you with nothing to remember me by or think I didn
’
t have anything to say to you. You won
’
t see me when you first learn how to tie your shoes or have your first kiss or at your graduation, but I
’
ll always be there with you, don
’
t forget that. I hope you find love Ethan, and you live long and happy lives and will have children of your own one day. It should be easier for you if you have my looks and not your Fathers! You
’
re my greatest achievement, Ethan, and I want you to know I
’
ll always be proud of you. I know you will achieve greatness in whatever profession you choose. Look after your Father for me, Ethan, he may be stubborn, but he always gives his everything. He
’
s a first-time parent, so you will have to help him out as best you can. Things may get a little messy! You will forever be with me, and I with you. I don
’
t want to go Ethan, but it
’
s my time. Tears roll down my face as I say my final goodbye to you. I desperately look forward to the day I will be reunited with my grown up beautiful baby boy. Until then I wish you a lifetime of love, happiness and affection.

I love you so much, forever and always, Mum x

I placed the letter onto the bed. I didn’t want the stream of tears running down my face to drip down onto the letter. I wiped my eyes and cheeks with the back of my hand. My face uncontrollably winced during my struggle to stop crying. I tucked my head into my knees, allowing my emotions to get the better of me. I honestly wished she was still here, I bet she’d be one of the coolest chicks ever and we’d get along like two peas in a pod. I assumed Ethan had never received this letter, which the cleanliness of the box containing it suggested. Maybe his Dad was waiting for the right opportunity to give it to him? Something as precious as this isn’t forgettable. After five minutes of rocking myself I finally calmed down. I wiped my hands on my shirt and carefully folded the letter, returning it into its envelope and neatly placed it back into the box. I’m glad I decided not to wear mascara today, otherwise I would be a total mess. I grabbed a small spare towel from the upstairs cupboard, wrapping the box in it and hid it in my suitcase, where it would stay hidden until I knew what to do with it. Handing it to Ethan won’t be easy, finding the right moment will be difficult.
How would I give it to him? What would I say?

When I popped downstairs Ethan was walking around topless. I was maybe staring at him for too long before he saw me stood there.

“You ok?” He asked, turning around with a puzzled look.

I stared at him for another few seconds before snapping out of my gaze. “Oh, I’m finished upstairs.”

December 1
st

S
ince we’ve been back we’ve seen our family every day. Ethan picks Madeline up from school while I helped Mum prepare food, and Dad, well, he’s always late home from work. He likes to keep out of the way, anyway. Mum can be aggressive if she’s disrupted in the kitchen. He sits and reads the newspaper that either has mine or Ethan’s face printed in it somewhere. It’s gotten to the stage where Mum has given up on saving all the articles of me because there are too many.

We’re leaving tomorrow. I don’t want to leave my family again, especially at Christmas. I suppose I’ve got to return to New York now and prepare myself for Patrick’s show. Ethan needs time to sort out his performance for the show as well, that can’t be done in a matter of hours. I don’t know what preparations he needs to do, but as long as his escape tunnel is there and keeps him safe then that’s fine. Ethan hasn’t told my parents about Christmas Eve yet, nor have I. We want it to be a surprise. I’m sure every single advert leading up to Christmas will say don’t miss our amazing guest stars, and witness Ethan Knight’s exhilarating escape from the plummeting hotel. Max and Eleanor will be joining me on the show now, too. She’s coming on so we can do some final promotion work for Twisted. I’m glad they’re going to be there with me. I’d be a mess otherwise. I wouldn’t be able to speak because of the amount of worry running through me. A familiar face by my side would surely help me remain calm. Max will be nervous too, I bet. Now everyone knows who he is they want him to be in the spotlight more often. Eleanor has got Max a job at Hallway magazine. He gets to write reviews on movies. So all he has to do is go to premieres or cinemas and watch films, then say how good they were. That’s like the best job ever, isn’t it? I’m actually seriously jealous of him. I wish I could do that on the side as well as being an actress. But at least now Max has a proper job and he should hopefully get a proper visa and won’t have to fly back home. Jasmine says she knows a representative who will be able to replace him.

My parents booked today off work so we could all go for a walk by the coast. Hardly the best time of year to plan such a trip with the cold, but we all went anyway. Madeline ran along the vast beach like a dog chasing a flock of seagulls. She was wearing her cute little yellow wellingtons accompanied by her lilac raincoat, as she ran, circling around us all. I kept grabbing her and kissing her when she came too close. Mum and Dad held hands while I’d pinned myself to Ethan because I thought I might come down with a case of hyperthermia. Ethan was wearing a ridiculous orange bobble beanie and a rather large padded winter coat. He may have looked a fool, but at least he was warm. I had enough layers on to protect the whole family, somehow it wasn’t enough. Ethan and I stayed on the beach while Mum, Dad and Madeline nipped into the nearest fish and chip shop for lunch.

“August it’s like I’m in the middle of an earthquake with your shivering.”

“Sorry.” I mumbled.

“Come here.” He said, pulling me off his arm.

He unbuttoned his jacket and hugged me, wrapping me in his jacket with him. My cheek pressed against his warm chest, instantly soothing my frozen skin. He was so warm and snuggly,
how was this possible?
He’s literally a walking radiator, and there I was freezing to death with ten times the amount of layers he had on. Ethan rested his chin on the top of my head. I couldn’t have wished for anything else more perfect. I only wish the weather was warmer. I nearly drifted off to sleep once I’d stopped shivering.

“Better?” Ethan asked. His voice was soft.

I nodded my head against his chest, wiggling my nose to bring it back to life. Ethan was wearing the autumn leaves tie I bought him for our third Christmas together. It’s just an image of a stack of fallen leaves on a tie.

He released his grasp around me momentarily, allowing the chilling cold to chill me once more. He placed his hideous orange on my head, pulling it down over my eyes before tightening his grasp back around, and sealing me back into his warmth.

“You did that on purpose.” I mumbled.

He laughed and placed his chin back on the top of my head before letting out a sigh.

“Is it your collarbone?” I asked.

“The cold makes it feel like I’ve got an icicle in my collarbone.”

Whenever anything pops up regarding the crash I suddenly feel awful. I still feel responsible somehow.

“Stop it!” He snapped, shaking me.

“
Whaaaaat?
” I groaned.

“Stop over thinking it, why do you do it?” He squeezed me this time.

“You died Ethan. I will never be fine about it, will I?” I replied, squeezing him weakly.

Our heart to heart conversation couldn’t be taken seriously by myself due to the fact my sight was blocked by Ethan’s gloriously warm, but ridiculous beanie.

“You’re so adorable.” He kissed my forehead protected by the beanie.

Why does he do this? I wanted to shout,
Just tell me you love me you moron and stop being so sweet, and stop smelling so good!

Before I opened my mouth, my Dad shouted from behind us. “Enough of that, thank you!”

Of all the times to be an over protective Father, he had to choose now.