Authors: Jennifer Harlow
“
I feel like a fucking convict. I can’t even go to the bathroom without clearing it with them.
”
I toss the clothes I wore last night back down on the floor in frustration.
“
Fuck these! I’m burning them.
”
I go into the closet and grab a suitcase.
“
Jo,
”
Harry says, stepping in.
I start tossing random clothes in the suitcase.
“
Oh, I forgot to tell you. I got your message. Finally. Guess right now you’re damn glad you didn’t go.
”
“
That doesn’t matter now.
”
“
Of course it matters!
”
I say, my voice breaking a little.
“
I said horrible,
horrible
things to you. Even if you did decide not to go to a stupid party with me, you didn’t deserve that. And I should have known better. I should have known you’d never do that to me.
”
“
Jo…
”
he says, getting closer.
I keep packing.
“
I should have trusted you. I…
”
I chuckle.
“
I let my own fuckedupness cloud my judgment, and I ruined everything.
Everything
.
”
Tears start streaming down my face and I can’t stop them. I go to the dresser and practically rip the drawer out.
“
Always have, always will. With you, with Justin, with…
”
The image of them lying there flashes into my mind. Senseless. This is all so senseless. One fell swoop and all the hopes and dreams for so many were destroyed. Because of me. I gasp and burst into tears so hard I double over.
“
Oh, God!
”
Harry doesn’t let me fall. He takes me into his arms, holding me tight. I clutch onto him for dear life, sobbing into his shoulder as he strokes my hair.
“
Shush, baby,
”
he whispers.
“
It’s okay. It’ll all be okay.
”
“
He…they…
”
“
I know,
”
he says soothingly as he strokes.
“
It’s not your fault. I
swear
it’s not your fault.
”
“
I’m sorry,
”
I say to anyone or anything that might be listening.
“
I’m
so
sorry.
”
He kisses my hair.
“
Baby.
”
He is so warm. Familiar. Old Spice. I love that smell. It’s comforting.
He’s
comforting. Always has been. I lift my head, my lips meeting his in an almost chaste kiss. That spark ignites a firestorm. The tears subside as we literally rip each other’s clothes off. He pins me to the bed, kissing me into depths I didn’t know I had. I’m not ready for him but he doesn’t give a damn. He pushes inside me so hard he reaches the end of me, punishing me for my sins against him. I cry out in pain but meet him with each thrust. All that pain, all that anger morphs into all consuming passion. For a few mind-blowing minutes everything but the need vanishes. Agony and ecstasy in perfect balance. It feels so good. So
right
. Even if I’ve lost him, at least I have this.
We lay on my bed unable to move for a minute afterward. Tiny pinpricks of blood rise on his back from where I mauled him. I’m not unscathed either. I’m already sore inside, stretched and torn, but find the pain welcoming.
“
Did I hurt you?
”
he asks breathlessly.
“
Nothing I can’t handle.
”
I gulp.
“
Did I hurt
you
?
”
He looks into my eyes, concern falling into sadness.
“
Yes,
”
he says after a pause.
We let that word hang between us like a millstone. He might as well have plunged an icicle into my heart. I didn’t think it possible, but I hate myself even more. I’ve lost him. He sits up then slides off the bed, collecting his clothes from the floor. More tears threaten stream out, but I push them back. If I start again, I’ll never stop. Never.
***
The mansion is quiet when I return. Harry doesn’t walk me to the door and mutters,
“
Call me if you need anything,
”
as I get out. We couldn’t even look at each other since the bedroom. First time things have been awkward between us. I hate it more than anything, and that’s saying something. Geoff the guard carries my suitcase inside, but Bryan joins the third guard in walking the grounds. Harry drives away, off to try and save the woman who broke his heart.
Dobbs greets us, looking as exhausted as me. Despite this he smiles as he says,
“
Welcome home, Miss Joanna.
”
“
Hi, Dobbs.
”
He takes the suitcase from Geoff.
“
I’ll take this upstairs to the blue bedroom.
”
“
Thanks. Is Justin up?
”
“
No, and Miss Lucy has retired as well. She was not feeling well.
”
“
Why don’t you go to bed too? I have a feeling we’ll be very busy tomorrow.
”
“
Thank you. I will.
”
Dobbs glances at Geoff.
“
We’ve left out food for you and your men.
”
“
Thank you,
”
Geoff says in his baritone voice.
Dobbs nods, then starts up the stairs, leaving me with my jailer. I’m in a fancy prison, but a prison none the less.
“
Look, I’m completely safe now,
”
I say to Geoff.
“
This place is a fortress. I’m going to the living room, and I’m going alone, okay? Don’t follow me.
”
I’m shocked when he actually listens. Like the rest of the house, it’s as quiet as a crypt in the living room. My first impulse is to race over to the bar and down a whiskey bottle. I actually have to stop myself walking midstride toward it. God, I want a drink. It takes all my strength not to make those last few steps.
Instead, I plop down on the couch with a sigh. I turn on the TV, finding the news. The story’s gone national. Top story on BNN and every other news outlet. Some woman interviews Bitsy, who tearfully recounts last night’s party and Justin’s tragic love story. There are a few more testimonials from Rebecca’s co-workers and friends from Independence. As people talk pictures from last night and today are intersliced, including the rolling out of the bodies. Tasteful.
I flip to MSCBC where the mayor, commissioner, and Marshal Napier stand in front of the city hall answering questions. Napier does most of the talking, saying the same crap the other two promised a week ago. Terrible tragedy. Doing all we can. We’ll catch him. Being on the other side of things, the victim’s side, is odd. Listening to them talk with self-serving platitudes and empty promises makes me want to spit in their faces. They don’t really give a damn. They just don’t want to look bad in front of their constituents. I change the channel.
We even made Jury-TV. They’re replaying Ryder’s trial. One of his henchmen, now in the witness protection program, recounts the plot to hijack a boat with a deadly virus on it. Ryder sits next to his thousand-dollar-an-hour attorney staring impassively at the man on the stand. A flash of the moment he passed me last night pops into my head. Both of them. My opportunities to get him, and I blew them. Doubt I’ll get another unless he crawls out of his hole to take a shot at me or someone I love. I need to—
Through the glass doors I see a man appear out on the patio. My heart stops as I leap up and grab for where my sidearm usually is. The terror subsides a moment later when my brain connects to my instincts. Justice stands on the porch looking directly at me.
“
Superb.
”
As I open the patio door, Bryan and a third guard come running from both sides of the house, guns up and pointed at the superhero.
“
Freeze!
”
the other guard shouts. Geoff barrels into the living room with his gun out too. I suddenly feel underdressed for this meeting.
“
I’d put those down, guys,
”
I say as I step out.
“
I’m pretty sure he can take you.
”
The men lower their weapons.
“
Sorry, sir,
”
Bryan says.
“
We didn’t know it was you.
”
“
It’s fine, gentlemen,
”
Justice says, lowering his hands.
“
Good response time, but I’d post someone back here at the staircase down to the beach. If I made it undetected, so could Alkaline.
”
“
Yes, sir,
”
Geoff says.
All the men holster their guns and return to their posts, leaving us alone.
“
I’m sorry for startling you,
”
Justice says.
“
It’s okay. I’m a bit jumpy tonight.
”
He nods.
“
That’s to be expected after your ordeal. I just came by to check on you and Mr. Pendergast and to offer my condolences.
”
“
Thanks. He’s, uh, asleep right now, but I’ll tell him you stopped by,
”
I say as I step toward the house.
“
I was also hoping to ask you a few questions,
”
he says, stopping me. I turn back around.
“
If you don’t mind.
”
“
I’m sure you’ve read my statement.
”
He has some supercomputer that’s linked to every law enforcement database and all the CCTVs in the city.
“
It’s all in there.
”
“
I just have a few follow-up questions.
”
I shrug.
“
I’m a captive audience. Not supposed to leave unless I’m in a tank with the National Guard around me. Fire away.
”
“
I understand you’re frustrated, but the precautions are for your safety. You should not try to find a way around them.
”
“
If he wants me, he’s gonna get me. The more people around me, the more collateral damage. Maybe I should just let him get me. Be bait.
”
“
No,
”
he says forcefully.
“
We will find a way of capturing him without putting you in harm’s way. That will
never
be an option. If I hear you have attempted that foolhardy plan, I will kidnap you myself and
really
lock you away. Do you understand me, Det. Fallon? I will not stand for it.
”
I have no idea what to say. He actually sounds concerned and scared. For me. My heart warms a little. Not that I’ll let him know that.
“
Fine, I won’t. Ask your questions.
”
After we sit, I walk him through the party last night, through finding the bodies and all that we’ve uncovered today. He knew most of it, and even clued me in to some new facts. Like Ryder checked into the hotel the night of the escape under the name
“
Joe Fallon.
”
He had a credit card and driver’s license in that name. The bastard might as well have just spit in my face. It was booked a week before he checked in, and checked out at 5:37 this morning.
“
Fat lot of good that does us,
”
I say.
“
I already have my system working through the security footage for the past week. It can pinpoint him and see if he met with any accomplices.
”
“
If you need me to run down anyone, my schedule is cleared indefinitely.
”
“
I’m sorry this has caused your life such an upheaval.
”
“
Yeah, well it frees me up to be your Girl Friday. I mean, if you don’t already have one. Do you have one?
”
“
I work alone, and it will stay that way.
”
He stands up.
“
Thank you for all your help.
”
I leap up.
“
Wait. You’re not leaving already, are you? I can help you. I
need
to help you, okay? I can’t just sit in this cold museum waiting, doing nothing. I’ll go nuts.
”
“
Your friend needs you far more than I do. What you need to do is stay here and help him through this. Be his strength. Leave the rest to me.
”
“
He’s angry at me and doesn’t want me to help.
”
“
He’ll get over it. No one can stay mad at you for too long.
”
“
You talk about me like you know me,
”
I say with a scoff.
“
If I’m not mistaken, I’ve known you for ten years,
”
he says without sarcasm.
“
And he does need you, by his side. Just be there when he’s ready. He may push you away, scream at you, but never take it to heart and never give up on him. Not that I think you ever would.
”
I stare at him, really wishing I could see his face. I can never get a read on him.
“
I don’t get you. For years I’ve been a total bitch to you. Now you’re complimenting me, even sending me presents. Why? You’re not…you know…
”
His head cocks to the side. Ugh. He’s going to make me say it.
“
I’m not going to sleep with you.
Ever
.
”
“
What? No,
”
he says, sounding offended.
“
I don’t think of you in that light, Det. Fallon. At all.
”
I do a double take at his vehemence.
“
I mean, you are aesthetically pleasing, I realize that, but—
”