Kasey Screws Up the World (34 page)

I shook my head. “No, they wanted to know what happened to you. To them.”

Lonnie nodded. “You posted that ages ago. You’ve only got more hits after that. I’ve been checking, and your hits have been soaring even though you haven’t posted in weeks.”

“Everyone wants to see you perform,” Denise said.

Lonnie waved a hand at me. “Come on. It’ll help me save face from the last time I played a song in public.”

Lara leaned in. “I thought a lot about what you said to Mom and Dad, Kase. That they should have been proud of you. But so should I.” She bit her lip. “You’ve made up a lot to me. This is my way of making it up to you.” She pushed me out of the chair. “Now prove me right and don’t embarrass me.”

I hesitated a moment, hovering half out of my chair. Aside from teaching the routine, I hadn’t practiced in months. I was never that good to begin with and now I was rusty. But then I looked at the way Lara’s eyes undulated as she smiled at me and that was enough to propel me toward the stage.

As I waited backstage for Lonnie’s band to set up, I looked down at my outfit. Now I understood why Lara had made me change. It wasn’t for support of the team or solidarity. It was so I would be part of it.

“You take my position,” Denise told me.

I stared at her. She was front and center, not on the back line like I always used to be. “What about you?”

“Don’t worry about me. I’m on the end. We’ve already practiced it like this, K.”

K.
Her old nickname for me. My heart swelled.

I took a deep breath and stepped onto the stage, staring at the back of the red curtain. Even though I couldn’t see the audience, a feeling of nostalgia washed over me. Being on stage with Finn at the Newlywed game, all eyes on me. At the talent show and the way the audience clapped along to my performance. This was where I belonged.

Lonnie’s drummer counted off with three sharp bangs on the cymbal.

I kicked my leg high in the air, as high it would go, and it wavered there for a moment before I smashed it across my body and stomped in tune to the music. I only belatedly remembered to smile at the crowd. No one ever used to see my smile when I was in the back row.

The beat of the song changed with the introduction of Lonnie’s guitar rift, and everyone bent low to the ground, writhing there like a snake. One by one we popped up—led by me—and twirled in place while waving our arms to the tune. Our arms flowed like streamers, moving gracefully through the air. We tutted, bending our upper body like willow trees blowing in the wind, then jerking upright and letting our feet do the talking with coordinated steps, stomps, and kicks.

My muscles woke up and reveled in the experience they’d been deprived of for four long months. The music became part of me and the spotlights on the stage bathed me in warmth. It didn’t matter if I wasn’t as good as Denise or Ali or anyone else on the stage. I was doing what I loved.

During practice, Lonnie always played the song he wrote me, subbing out my name for “Baby” to keep it kosher for Denise. My name was still absent from the song, but it was about me again. Lonnie had changed the lyrics, and with each one he sang, my smile grew wider.

All those times you blogged as a way to repent

Forcing us to relive and voice our dissent

Reading about all those things you were feeling

Gripping our desks to keep us from reeling

And now we know what to do

Forgiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive you

Forgive, because that’s what you need

We’ve waved our flag and we’re here to concede

The loneliness has started to recede

Now it’s time

To suuuuuuuuceeeeeeeeeede

When the music stopped, everyone cheered. My breath pumped through my lungs. This must be what marathon runners feel like after they finish the race. Exhilarated.

Lonnie shouted into the microphone, “Please give a hand to our choreographer…Lara Fishbein.”

The crowd erupted in a standing ovation when Lara stood and waved even though she couldn’t bow because of her hip. All eyes were on her. She was home.

And so was I.

One by one the clapping faded and the audience fizzled into their seats. Until there were only two people left standing in the very back row.

Finn and Hayden.

My breath caught in my throat. Even from here, I knew that stare. It was the same look in his eyes when I stole that first kiss from him. The look he gave me each time we took the stage on the cruise. And it’s the same look I pictured in my mind this semester when I tried to be the girl Finn brought out in me. The girl standing before this crowd right now.

FINN-AL DESTINATION

Posted by Kasey at 12:27 P.M.

Sunday, October 4th

Current Mood:
Satisfied

SAT Word Of The Day:
Reunion. Definition: A repeat of the union.

Hi lovely readers,

Fancy meeting you here again. Did you miss me? If you’re reading this, I’m guessing the answer is yes. And if you attended the Fundraiser last night, you know I’m not the only thing you missed. You missed A LOT.

I stopped blogging because I thought the story I had to tell was over. But I realized this morning that I never told you the ending. Or well, not the
ending
ending, since it’s not over. Not even close. Still, you read this blog because you wanted to know what happened to Lara, to Denise, to Lonnie, to Finn. To me…

This is what happened.

After the dance team’s performance, the attendees fled into the next room for the college admissions part of the fundraiser, plus refreshments. Even if it was only school provided bug juice and not the kind of refreshments most students would have preferred. Everyone in the crowd moved in a herd toward the exit, but two people pushed through them the opposite way.

I rushed down the stage and practically tore Lara’s arm off in an attempt to alert her to Finn and Hayden’s presence.

She shrugged me off. “I know, I know, you nailed it.”

I pointed behind me and yelled, “Look!” I was much more eloquent when I could edit and delete my words on the blog. Not so much when I was out of breath and flustered from excitement.

The smile on her face could light the entire auditorium. She glanced back at me. “Well, what are you waiting for?” She nodded her head in their direction. “Go get him.”

I left Lara seated because there was no way she was going to try and limp against an eager crowd. Luckily, I was petite (well, not
that
petite), and could squeeze my way through the gaps of people. Finn climbed over the auditorium seats until we met in the middle. Hayden was too cool for that. He waited at the end of an aisle for the crowd to pass before making his way to my sister.

My smile radiated four months and fifteen days worth of thoughts. His hair was shorter, but his dimples were just as deep. The same memories, preserved in time, like a fossilized bug encased in amber. As soon as I got within touching distance of him, I wrapped him into a hug, figuring that was better than asking any questions. I didn’t have a good track record lately with asking him questions.

He smelled like coconut shampoo, and that immediately brought me back to the cruise, to the scent of suntan lotion and piña coladas on the deck. I closed my eyes and the shuffling crowd morphed into the salty ocean breeze. The hug lingered only a second longer than a friendly I-haven’t-seen-you-in-forever reconnection.

“So it was you? Commenting? How did you find the blog? And how did you get here? I mean, thanks for coming. Why didn’t you write me back? What
was
the correct question?” I would have said more but he pressed a finger against my lips.

He rolled his eyes in that adorable way I’d missed. I got chills. “Nothing’s changed. You’re still so impatient.”

I crossed my arms and tapped my foot, partially to cover my trembling fingers.

“To answer your questions. Maybe. Yes and no. Online. Car. I’m here instead. None of those.”

I punched him lightly in the shoulder. “I need better answers than that. Of course you found the blog online, but how? And what do you mean ‘maybe’ it was you?”

He tilted my chin back up with the feathery touch of his index finger. “My C.I.A training served me well. I used a variety of spy tactics to find your blog, but I’m not at liberty to discuss the details.”

“You googled my name?” I had so many questions I wanted to ask Finn, I couldn’t understand why this one came out of my mouth next.

He cocked an eyebrow at me. “Did the C.I.A brief you too?” He mouthed, “sssh” to me while looking around cautiously. “Don’t let anyone hear that. That’s top secret protocol.”

He was right. This conversation should be private. I pulled him down into the auditorium seats so I could ignore the people in the aisles even more. “Were you okay? I mean, your arm healed? You can still draw?”

“Arm’s totally fine.” Finn flexed his bicep. “Actually, that’s why I’m in New York City. My parents think Hayden’s taking me to visit some of the art schools here. Well, he is. But not until Monday.” He winked.

Interesting. Very interesting. If Finn went to school in the city, maybe I’d just have to have a visit with the Tysh College admissions representative tonight. “What was the stupid correct question?”

He clucked his tongue. “The first one any good spy would ask.”

“Gah.” I threw my hands up in surrender. “You’ve dragged this out long enough. Tell me.”

“I’m not sure if I can.” He kept his face very still, betraying no hint of emotion as he studied me. “Who are you?”

“Kasey? Victoria Cruise?” I wasn’t sure what answer he was going for here.

“Choose wisely.”

“Oh my God, you’re killing me.” I covered my forehead with my hands. “Kasey, definitely Kasey.” It was the first time in a long time I only wanted to be myself. “Now, what’s the question?”

“You already know it.” His lips quivered with a held back smirk.

“No, I don’t!” I stood up. “I’ve tried a million different questions and—” And he was right. I knew the answer. After all, he’d just told it to me. And it was one of the first questions he ever asked me on the cruise. I composed myself, smoothing down my skirt to sit and face him. “Who are you? That’s the answer?”

He nodded.

I pursed my lips. “Why is that the answer?”

“What was your other question?”

I thought back to my list of questions. He’d answered how he found the blog, how he got here, why he hadn’t emailed me back, and what the correct question was. But there was one he skipped. I squinted at him. “Were you the one commenting?”

“I did comment. But only once.”

“Only once?” I knitted my brows while my stomach churned. Ugh, I knew the Finn impersonators were Ali.
Who are you?
I ripped my head up. “You were Clark. Not Finn.”

He snapped his fingers. “Ding ding ding.”

My face blushed. Clark had said the disguises were better. “But the person commenting as Finn knew my room number. And yours.”

He chuckled. “You still haven’t figured it out?” He shook his head in shame at me. “Not a very good spy after all.”

Who else would have known that information? And then my eyes locked on Hayden sitting next to my sister in the front row. When I turned back to Finn, he was already nodding.

I thought back to what the imposter Finn had commented on my penultimate blog post.
“I suspect there’s something she wants way more than dancing. ;-)”
Hayden had meant himself!

“I showed him the blog,” Finn said. “He thought it would be hilarious to pretend to be me. I wasn’t too keen on it, but then he did it anyway. I think he was trying to get us back together.”

I made my eyes big and hopeful. “Did it work?”

He waved a finger at me. “Sorry, that’s a spoiler. I will tell you his brilliant plan backfired on him.” Finn nodded toward his brother, who was whispering something into Lara’s ear that made her giggle. “Not just a vacation fling anymore, huh?”

My heart swelled. I couldn’t fix Lara’s hip but without intending to, at least I fixed her love life. Hayden may have been a jerk but I knew all too well that people deserved to redeem themselves when they fucked up. Maybe driving all the way here tonight was half the battle. I hoped the other half involved flowers.