I don’t hear from Marc after our meeting at Starbucks, and I’m really not surprised. Once again I debate calling or emailing him but I just don’t know what to say. There is still a small part of me that selfishly needs him in my life and I can’t bring myself to do anything that will cut ties completely. There was a time, not long ago, when I assumed he was the one. I was invested in Marc—and as Megan reminded me earlier—I always assumed that my future was with him. The only reason I broke up with him was to get him to appreciate me and realize what was at stake. And now he has.
It’s Friday morning, and the first chance I’ve had to call Megan all week. After talking with her, she, of course, feels badly for Marc and questions my intentions. Having never met Ryan she still has a soft spot for my relationship with Marc and, like everyone else, assumes he and I will end up getting married one day. So now that I’ve all but severed those ties and retreated back to square one at the age of twenty-six, she’s noticeably concerned for me.
“I just hope you know what you’re doing,” she says over the phone. “I think you and Marc are past the game-playing stage and this may be his ultimatum for you.”
“He didn’t give me an ultimatum,” I correct her.
“Not in so many words, Kat, but this is as open and defenseless as he’s ever been, and I don’t think you’ll get another chance like this. He’s not going to keep begging.”
I’m not in the mood to listen to her lecture me this morning. “Megan, he wasn’t begging, and it’s over. I did what I felt was right, and I really don’t feel like talking about it anymore.”
“Just because someone disagrees with you doesn’t mean you should end the conversation. You know I love you, and I just don’t want you to regret anything. Look how upset you were only a few months ago when you thought you’d lost Marc completely.” She’s quick to remind me.
I close my eyes and prop my head up with my hand, elbow resting on the desk. “I have to go.”
“I’m just trying to help, Kat.”
“I know, thank you. I do have to go, though… I’ll call you later.”
“Bye,” I hear her saying as I’m hanging up.
I rub my forehead with the heel of my hand and text Adam who’s tied up in a scheduling meeting all morning, making him unable to properly coddle me right now.
I need a noose.
I text.
Top desk drawer on right.
He replies.
What time do our boys get in from Vegas?
I ask referring to Dave and Ryan’s return.
2:00
Adam texts.
Are they coming to the office?
I ask.
I’m in a Goddamn meeting!
He reprimands me.
I log onto Facebook and work at beautifying my land on FarmVille. I’m pleased to see that prior to his scheduling meeting today, Adam found the time to gift me two goats, two tabby kittens and a golden chicken. Just before I can disable the sound feature, Brooke approaches my cube as one of my horses lets out a thunderous NEIGH!
“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that,” she begins. “When it’s convenient for you, I need the Chase billings finished by two o’clock. I have to have them on Dave’s desk before he returns.”
“Sure thing,” I say and spastically log off the Internet like a teenage boy who just got caught surfing porn sites. “Sorry, I was trying to…”
“Seriously, Kat, just get it done!” She erupts with a loud reprimanding voice that makes my heart skip a beat and then storms off.
“Whoa,” I whisper to myself.
Besides Brooke’s new bi-polar disorder, it’s been pretty uneventful at work with Ryan being in Vegas for most of the week. I hadn’t realized how much I would miss seeing him until he was gone. And because I had my talk with Marc on the night before Ryan left, I never got a chance to say goodbye. He called me on Thursday and sent a few texts in between, but now I want him home. When I spoke with him from Vegas he sensed something was wrong with me, but I played it off as being tired. I’ve yet to fill him in on anything that’s happened with Marc, and the more I try to devise a way to bring it up, the more I decide it’s a bad idea. I don’t want to scare him off, or let him think I’m trying to make him jealous, or worse—think that I have this ex-boyfriend drama that I carry around with me. I just can’t find any good reason to tell him about my relationship with Marc, especially now that I’m trying to move on and put the whole thing behind me.
Once Adam is through with his scheduling meeting he stops by my desk. “Are you busy?” he asks.
“Brooke busted me on Facebook again and now I have to finish all the Chase billings by two o’clock. So I’m trying to win back a few points with her and finish them by one.”
Adam waves his hand in my face dismissing what I’ve just said. “Did you get the golden chicken?” he asks excitedly.
“Yes.”
“And the goats?”
“Yes! Now leave me alone before harvesting livestock is the only job I can find.” I push him away.
“Well, to answer your earlier question, the boys are coming straight to the office from the airport,” he informs me.
I light up. “That’s awesome, thank you for sharing.”
“You’re welcome.” He turns to leave.
“Hey, Adam.” I stop him. “Do you think I should tell Ryan about Marc?”
He matches my curiosity. “Tell him what exactly?”
“I don’t know, any of it? I just feel like I’m lying to him by keeping all of this bottled up, but I don’t want to burden him with it either.”
Adam gets a kind, reassuring look on his face and sits down on my desktop. “I don’t know, sweetie. It’s a tough call, but I can’t see why you need to say anything to him now. You’re both obviously crazy about each other, and this beginning stage is the best part of any relationship. He’s such a strong, confident guy, that I’m sure it wouldn’t bother him one bit, but why go there unless you really need to. Let him think he’s the only thing on your mind. He deserves that.”
He’s right; Ryan does deserve that, but doesn’t he also deserve the truth? Ryan has been so open and honest with me from the beginning: no games, no pretenses, nothing but putting himself out there one hundred percent, and a part of me feels obligated to honor his sincerity.
I reach for Adam’s hand. “Thank you, seriously, for everything,” I say. “You’re right. Most importantly, I want him to know how much I care about him. It’s just that he’s been so unbelievably straightforward with me.”
“I don’t see any good reason to mention it,” he says matter-of-factly, then gives me a look of apprehension. “I do, however, think you should break the news to Julie one of these minutes.”
I bury my face in my hands. “I know, I know. We have plans this weekend and I am going to say something then.”
“That’s ma’ girl, and remember who’s got your back, okay?”
“Okay, thanks,” I add and give him a little peck on the back of his hand.
He nods. “As it should be.”
I finish my work
by half past one and go put the Chase billings on top of Brooke’s desk so she can review them. As I walk into her office expecting to find her, it looks like she’s gone home for the day because she’s not in there, and her tote bag and cell phone are missing from their usual spots. She never takes her tote bag with her anywhere until she leaves for the day, so I head over to the front desk to see if Carrie has any information on her whereabouts.
“Hey, Care, have you seen Brooke? Do you know if she’s left for the day?” I ask mid-stride as I approach her desk.
“She left for the day,” Carrie says without looking up from her magazine.
“Did she say if she was coming back?” I ask in a much cheerier tone, hoping for more details.
“Brooke said she was leaving for the day,” she repeats, simultaneously turning a page in her magazine and answering a text on her cell phone.
My frustration builds and my tolerance fades. “Did she say anything else, like where she was going?”
Carrie shifts her head to the side and finally looks up at me. “No.” She pauses. “If you give me her cell number I can call her for you.”
Unbelievable. “I’m capable of that, thank you.”
“Great,” she says. “Do you need something else?”
“No, thank you,” I say shaking my head, and just as I’m about to head back to my cube the elevator doors open and out walk Ryan and Dave.
My mood shifts into a giddy euphoria as Ryan and his expansive shoulders exit onto the floor. He has a leather duffel bag thrown over one arm, with his other hand tucked neatly into his front pocket. He looks at me with an unexpected tenderness and walks straight to where I’m standing in front of the reception desk.
“Have you been standing there all week waiting for me to return?” he asks.
“Welcome back, Ryan!” Carrie interjects, oddly not so interested in her magazine anymore.
“Thanks,” he says to her, never taking his eyes off mine.
A childish grin appears on my face, and I’m frozen as he walks closer and places his hand on the small of my back. “Hey, you,” he says.
I strain to suppress the urge to French kiss him right in front of Carrie. “Hey,” I reply, relieved to see him.
“Come with me,” he declares and leads me toward his office with his hand still touching my back.
“I thought you guys were getting in later,” I say once we enter his office.
“We caught an earlier flight.” He smiles and tosses his duffel on the floor. “It’s great to see you.” He spins around, leans against the desktop and pulls me toward him.
“You too. I missed having you around here.” No lie there.
“So, what are the plans for tonight?” he asks and kisses my neck.
“Something with you I hope?” I say sheepishly, chills running down my spine.
“Great, let’s grab dinner. I want to run home later and shower, but how about I come by your place around eight o’clock?”
“Sounds perfect,” I say and lose myself in his eyes. His face is so peaceful and self-assured.
He leans down, kisses me on the lips, and releases my hand. I take two steps back and he walks around to the other side of his desk. “Great, I’ll see you then,” he says, then turns his attention to his computer.
I float out of his office and practically skip back to my desk. When I arrive, I see that Brooke has not in fact left for the day and is walking past reception to her office. No surprise that Carrie was either completely oblivious or purposefully screwing with me. Within seconds my office phone is ringing and it’s Brooke.
I answer it and immediately start talking. “Hey, Brooke, Carrie had said you left for the day.”
“Why are the
Chase
billings on my desk? Where are the ones for Bellagio I asked you for?!” She’s clearly back at the office.
“You asked for the Chase billings,” I say, mildly panicking from her tone, but damn well sure she asked me to work on the Chase ones, not Bellagio.
“Jesus, Kat, I said Bellagio, and Dave is waiting for them!”
I’m sensing she’s not in the mood for me to stand my ground right now so I take the high road and suck up her mistake. “I can have them in thirty minutes, sorry.”
She slams the phone, and I’m left holding the receiver in astonishment. I realize that I may be a little distracted at the office lately, but this was her mistake; I’m sure of it.
Care to join us for a macchiato?
Adam texts me.
Can’t. Brooke f’d me up.
I reply disgruntled.
WTF?
He asks.
She said I did the wrong billings, now I’m scrambling
.
I answer.
You probably did.
He concludes.
I didn’t!
I toss my cell phone into the desk drawer and begin frantically working on the paperwork for the Bellagio account instead of the stupid Chase ones. Which, by the way, are now done ahead of schedule—but who pays any attention to the positive things around here. Just then my office line rings again, startling me because I’m now scared to hear Brooke’s voice, but it turns out to be Megan.
“This is Kat,” I answer quickly.
“It’s me. I’m just bored and wanted to see if you could meet for lunch tomorrow,” she asks.
“Tomorrow is Saturday,” I say.
“So what? You can’t meet your sister for lunch on a Saturday?” She sounds offended.
“No, it’s just that we normally meet during the week, Miss Sassy Tone,” I say. “And I have plans tonight that I’m hoping will spill over into tomorrow.” I smile to myself.
“Oh, fine, be that way. That fun, carefree, single, no worries way that you are.”
“Someone a little bitter?”
She sighs. “It’s just that our sitter canceled, leaving me with no Saturday night plans, and basically wanting to hang myself. I begged Henry to watch Miles for me during the day and told him that you and I were having lunch and running some errands.”
“So stick with your story, and he’ll never know,” I suggest.
“It’s not worth it. I don’t even have any errands to run. I just wanted some time alone is all. I’ll see, maybe I’ll keep our fake plans.” She laughs. “So how are things with you and Shakespeare?”