Katy Kelly_Lucy Rose 04 (5 page)

“We did NOT trick you!” I said. “It's not disgusting. People have been loving our cocoa all day long.”

“That's impossible, Lucy Rose!” she yelled. “It tastes worse than dirt. I want my dollar back.”

“NO REFUNDS!” I said in my snappish voice. “YOU are just trying to get cocoa for FREE.”

Ashley stomped down Constitution Avenue, pouring a long brown line of cocoa behind her.

Now we have zero customers.

Still February 7, only at 3:19 PM

Jonique and I were carrying the table up the steps at the exact second my grandmother came through the gate with her arms full to their brims of tulips and oranges. Since I had my hands full of table I waved my head at her and called, “Hello, my Madam!”

That excitement made Gumbo jump over the rosemary bush and lick Madam's neck, which gave her the wiggles and right before our eyeballs, her feet got tangled in Gumbo's scarf and her boots slipped on ice, and flowers went flying and oranges went rolling and Madam was skiing straight ahead. I tried to catch her with the table, but Gumbo was going frantic and leaping about so our arms and legs got confused and too much activity made the table slip and then Madam's leg thwacked into the porch railing and it broke. Not the railing, the leg. I mean, not Madam's leg, a table leg.

Pop ran out and saw Madam looking sprawled so he swooped down and picked her up by her armpits. Jonique and I jumped over the lopsided table that had bumped down steps.

“Don't you worry, Madam,” I said. “I'll rescue your furry hat from the slush!”

“I never knew tulips were fragile,” Jonique said.

“Great news, everybody!” I said. “I found Madam's eyeglasses.”

Then I said, “Does anybody know a way to fix toenail scratches?”

Madam didn't and Pop was busy getting her inside and into a sitting situation. Now he's inspecting her bones and I am writing this report.

February 7 at 7 or so at night

The relieving news is that Madam's leg has bruises only. The other news has to do with the table. It is not relieving. Usually, old means old, like Pop is old and Madam is too but now is not the time to say it. It turned out the table is not regular old. It's antique old. It came from Madam's grandmère, who had the name of Mumpsy, and it was old even when Mumpsy was young because it came from France on a boat.

To help Madam feel better, I smoothed her forehead lines with my red knitted mitten and I said, “I'm sorry in the extreme and in my heart.”

“Me too,” Jonique said. Her face still had the look of being horrified.

“I can fix those legs,” Pop said. “All I need is glue for the table and a heating pad for my lovely and flexible wife who flies through the air with the greatest of ease.”

Then he made his serious eyes at Madam and said, “I think we can be grateful they weren't selling naps.”

“True,” Madam said. “I wouldn't want to come home and find our bed on the sidewalk.”

“That's using your sunny side!” I said. “We'll get you hot chocolate so you'll feel like you're relaxed and refreshed.”

Pop and Jonique heated up the cocoa that was leftover and I fetched the heating pad from upstairs. Then I very carefully stuffed the tulips into a pitcher that's Madam's favorite because it's shaped like a chicken. Jonique and I put most of those things on a tray with cloth napkins because Madam says they're civilized. She is a fan of civilization.

After we were cozy and Madam's legs were warmed, we clanked our mugs for a toast.

Then we all made lip-scrinching, tongue-sticking-out faces and Pop said, “That's SOME cocoa.”

“It needs sugar,” Madam said.

“It does?” I said.

“Quik powder doesn't,” Jonique said.

“Dutch cocoa does,” Madam said.

Even though she was still limpy in her legs, Madam walked to the kitchen and showed us how to make a new batch from scratch with sugar.

“It's D-double-Dutch-D-licious,” I said. “But I believe we are going out of the cocoa business.”

“At heart it was a good idea,” Madam said.

“I'll get another one,” I said.

“Of course you will,” Pop said.

February 8 at 8:27 AM in the morning

This day started early because I had to have an e-mail chat with my dad. First I told about the cocoa disaster. Then I typed, “Is it snowing in Michigan?”

“No, but it snowed yesterday,” he wrote back.

“It's snowing like wild here,” I said. “My school is on TV for being canceled.”

“I-N-V-U,” he e-mailed back.

Most people don't know that teachers adore snow days even more than kids but I do because in the Ann Arbor Junior High teachers' lounge, which I have personally visited, there's a fake snowman that's named Gracious Ruler. He has inches painted on him and when snow gets to his neck, school gets canceled. According to my dad, when the teachers feel worn to pieces and bits by kids, they say, “Oh, Gracious Ruler, deliver us,” and even though he's made of wood, they give him cookies.

After breakfast my mom and I did math practice. Now it's time to meet Jonique in front of the Golds' house and I am glad like anything to let those fractions go.

February 8 at lunchtime

What I was not glad about was giving money back. So when Ed opened his door I said, “Ed, I hide.”

He made a grin at me and said, “Not very well. I can see you.”

“It's a palindrome,” I said. “It's also true because I have too much embarrassment over our cocoa.”

“Same for me,” Jonique said.

Ed said, “I don't mind paying for a new experience and that cocoa was as new an experience as I've had in quite some time.”

“We are the kind of sellers who say Satisfaction Guaranteed,” I said and gave him back his dollar.

“You keep it,” he said. “I'll consider it payment for ed, i hide. I plan on getting a lot of use out of that palindrome.”

Jonique was in charge of the next return but Mr. and Mrs. Deutsch were at Glen Echo learning how to dance in a ballroom, which was a miraculous miracle because Mr. Deutsch is one who resists dancing. Jonique gave the dollar to Anna, who is their daughter that's in college, and said, “Please, tell your mom we're sorry about her having that bad taste.”

“In her mouth,” I said. “Bad taste in her mouth.”

“Right,” Jonique said. “It's excellent everywhere else.”

We put Mr. Lee's dollar in his mailbox.

Mrs. Jensen said, “I should pay you for saving me the calories.” But that turned out to be a joke.

Now we're at my house eating egg sandwiches.

We only have 1 person left. “P-U times 2,” I said.

February 8 in the afternoon

Jonique and I stewed in the tree box in front of Ashley's house for quite a little while. Then I thought up a happy question, which was, “What if Ashley's visiting her dad and Jennifer, the girlfriend?”

“I wish that would be true,” Jonique said.

That idea made us feel like we were a little brave and we raced up her steps but before we even finished, the door swooped open and Ashley's mom was saying, “Come on in, girls!”

“We're sort of rushing,” I said.

But she was already yelling, “Doll, come down. Your friends are here to see you.”

She calls her Doll because she thinks she is one.

“We want to give her $1,” Jonique said.

“How generous!” Ashley's mom said.

“I thought she could be at her dad's,” I said.

“Oh, no,” her mom said. “He's still in Hawaii.”

She sounded a little bit like her teeth were sticking together.

“Without Ashley?” Jonique asked her.

“Of course without Ashley,” she said. “Children don't go on honeymoons.”

“Her dad got a new wife?” Jonique blurted.

“He did,” her mom said. “They called Doll with the news from Maui on New Year's Day. They won't be back until March.”

“That's quite the impromptu thing to do,” I said.

“You must have picked that word up from Ashley,” her mom said and made a nice look at me.

That's when Ashley came stomping at us, shrieking, “WHAT are YOU 2 doing in MY house?”

“Doll!” her mom said, like she was horrified to absolute shreds.

“Here's your dollar back,” I said.

Ashley snatched it and told her mom, “They're NOT my friends. They tried to poison me.”

We didn't hear what her mom said about that on account of door slamming by Ashley.

“I can't believe she lied about Hawaii!” I said. “In front of the whole class AND Mrs. Timony.”

“Are you going to tell?” Jonique said.

I didn't know the answer to that question.

“Somebody could,” I said. “And if I were Ashley I'd fall over in an absolute heap from embarrassment and stay there until I shriveled.”

“I couldn't tattle,” Jonique said. “Even though she would deserve it.”

Then I was quiet because I had thinking to do.

When I was done, I still didn't know what to think about that girl. But to be on the safest side I called my dad and left him a message that said, “DO NOT ever get married without telling me.”

That's because it would make me feel like my insides were crushed.

February 9 at 3:22 AM in the morning

I woke up and I had to go in my mom's room to check if she was awake. Then I had to jiggle her head until it turned out she was.

“Ashley's dad got a replacement wife,” I said.

My mom sat up fast at that news.

“How's she taking the marriage?” she asked.

“The wife probably likes it,” I said.

“I imagine Ashley finds it hard,” my mom said.

“Let's be done with the topic of her,” I said.

The funny thing is, now I feel like I'm beat tired and exhausted but my mom feels totally awake.

February 10

My dad phoned me and said, “I PROMISE I will NEVER get married without talking it over with you.”

“That's the fair thing to do, you know,” I said.

“I agree,” he said.

“Okay, then,” I said. P.S. The Divas got 2 faucets and a sprayer in the mail. They are not so lovely but they are big.

February 11

After I finish making up so many songs on my cello, I'm decorating Valentines for my entire class, which is the rule but also is a little fake on account of Valentines are supposed to be for TRUE LOVE, which doesn't come over people in 4th. Probably you have to be 19 or 23 years old and most likely you'd have to go to some dances. Also Valentines can be for TRUE LIKE, which is not actually the case for me and every single body in Room 7. But if you skip any person at all you have to go to Mr. Pitt to learn about CONSIDERATION FOR OTHERS, which would be a waste because that's a thing I am already loaded with.

Here are the reasons against making Ashley a card: 1. She lied. 2. She stole impromptu. 3. She is unlikable to me.

Here's what's on the opposite side: 1. I do feel a speck of sympathy about her dad. 2. I would be peeved if she sold me sugar-free cocoa. 3. Mr. Pitt, of course.

February 12

The UPS lady brought me a box and when I shook it, she said, “Sounds like something good is inside.”

She was right because here are the contents of it:

1. Pink socks with red rims.

2. A caramel pecan apple from Kilwin's.

3. A photo of Glam and my dad when my dad was age 9, standing in front of a hamburger stand that is actually shaped like a hamburger.

I put on my socks and stuck the hamburger picture next to my autographed Congressman and I ate ¼ of my apple for a snack. I saved ¾ so I can put ¼ in my lunch and my mom and I can eat 2/4 tonight. According to Jonique, 2/4 is the same as ½. I'm agreeing with that because, to me, fractions are easier when they're about food.

I made an e-mail that said, “Dear Dad, Thanks a million. Next time you go to the hamburger place, take me, please. xo.”

P.S. Contents is my WOTD. It means things that are inside. Right now my contents are caramel apple and Jonique's Froot Loops plus pomegranate seeds. That's absolutely too many contents because my stomach is so overly full that I'm having to take a little rest.

February 13

I helped Madam staple cloth that's the color of a tangerine on the top of the footstool that she needs to keep her legs in circulation. While I was stretching and she was smoothing the wrinkles, I asked her, “What's your recommendation for people who lie?”

“Is there something you want to tell me?” she said.

“There certainly is not,” I said. “I have curiosity and you are an expert, who I'm pretty sure will say, ‘Report the lying person to the teacher right away.'”

I did not want to say the person was Ashley because I have an opinion and it's that Madam is too soft about that girl.