Authors: David Warner
For once Sunil did as he was told, and bowled a slower ball. Mo managed to hit it and ran down the pitch. Davey ran too, but had to sidestep Mo, who had begun zigzagging in front of him.
âMove over, Shorty!' Mo laughed.
Now at the crease and waiting to bat, Davey tried to put Mo out of his mind, even though his batting partner was grinning like a pufferfish at the bowler's end.
He breathed deeply and tried to focus.
Eye on the ball. Eye on the ball . . .
âYou're my one, my only, b-a-a-a-b-y-y-y,'
It's no fun, I'm so lonely, b-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-
b-b-b-b-y-y-y-y-y.'
Tay was singing that stupid song again.
Aargh
!
Sunil ran in and bowled a bouncer down the leg side. Davey thought he'd try his switch hit. He swapped the position of his hands and turned. But his timing was all wrong and in a split second the ball was in Tay's gloves. Davey had to admit she was pretty good.
âClose!' she said, flashing him a smile.
âShe'll catch you next time!' Mo called from the other end of the pitch.
Davey bit his tongue and gave him a friendly wave.
â
If you care, if you care at all,
Just pick up your phone and make that call . . .'
Davey turned. âHey Tay, keep it down!' he said in a friendly tone.
âWhat?' Tay looked confused. âI didn't say anything.'
âYou were singing.'
âWas I? Oh, sorry.' Tay shook her head as if she'd just woken from a deep sleep.
Davey tapped the pitch lightly with Kaboom and tried to focus again.
Take a deep breath. Eye on the ball . . .
Sunil ran in. Just as he reached the bowler's crease, Mo hooted loudly.
The noise took Sunil by surprise, and his ball went wide.
Davey let it go through to Tay.
âHa! Those Batfish are gonna win by a mile! Mo laughed.
âClouter, you're on the team now,' Davey called out. âYou're one of
us
!'
Mo laughed again, and did a little shake and a wriggle. âMaybe â or maybe not!'
Davey groaned.
âShania said Mo was a bit thick.'
Davey turned.
Tay was grinning at him. âBut I kind of like him.'
Davey raised an eyebrow. âThat makes two â you and his mum.'
âHe reminds me of Zac. You know, the tall one in B4U?' Tay stared into the middle distance, as if she'd been hypnotised. âHe's got those dark eyes.'
âEeewww!'
Tay shrugged and smiled to herself. â
You're my one
â'
â“
MY ONLY BABY
”! I
know
!' Davey had just about had enough. And it was only Tuesday.
The big match against Batfish Beach Primary was only two days away and things weren't exactly going smoothly for the Sandhill Flats team. Tay Tui had proved to be a more than able wicket-keeper and replacement for Dylan, but Mo Clouter was nothing short of a disaster as a temporary fill-in for Kevin.
Everyone knew Mo hated cricket, so why he'd volunteered to join the school team was a mystery.
âHe's up to something,' Davey said to Sunil as they dawdled into class on Wednesday morning.
âYeah, and we need to find out what.'
âDeep, no more talk, unless it's about HSIE,' Mr Mudge barked.
Davey noticed that Mudge's ears already had a blood-orange tinge. However, the lesson started out reasonably well. Mudge droned on about the discovery of gold in Australia. Davey tried to listen â especially because George had said there was gold in the swamp at Flatter Park, and Davey thought Mr Mudge might get around to telling them how to find it. But soon the familiar sound of a certain
B4U song buzzed in his ear like a mosquito. Tay was at it again.
â. . . pick up your phone and make that call . . .'
Davey tried to keep his eyes to the front. He figured that if he didn't look at Tay he'd have less chance of focusing on what she was singing. But it didn't work. For some reason, as soon as he heard the song he couldn't hear anything else.
He glanced in Tay's direction. She was in a trance again, staring into the middle distance as she sang. Davey noticed that on the desk in front of her was a Whopper Chomp packet.
Oh-oh
, he thought. He'd seen this before. Mo Clouter had found a Whopper Chomp packet on his desk not so long ago and it had turned into a huge to-do because Sunil had
hidden rotten egg gas in it. Mudge's ears had stayed purple for days.
â. . . you're my on-ly, ba-a-a-a-b-b-b-y-y-y
 . . .
'
Tay's hand reached absent-mindedly for the Whopper Chomp packet. She extracted a lolly and popped it in her mouth. The singing stopped.
But it was too late. âWho's making that noise during HSIE?' Mudge's ears were tearing through the colours of the spectrum at the speed of sound. Davey couldn't take his eyes off them.
âIs that supposed to be singing? Whoever it is, don't think you're being funny.' The teacher looked around accusingly.
Mo put up his hand. âIt was Warner, Sir, singing that B4U song. He can't stop thinking about them.'
Mudge's cold gaze settled on Davey, his ears now violet.
Davey looked down at the desk in front of him. There, on top of his book, was Tay's Whopper Chomp packet. Someone â Mo â had pushed it there.
Mudge marched over and bent down so close that Davey could see bristles peeking out of his nostrils.
âWa-a-a-a-r-ner!' Mr Mudge grabbed the lolly packet. âWhat is this?'
âNot sure, Sir,' Davey mumbled. âIt's not mine.' He didn't say whose it was. He wasn't a snitch.
âThey're Warner's, Sir.' It was Mo.
Mudge's ears had turned black. âIs that correct, Warner?'
Davey looked at Tay Tui. She'd turned blue and her face had frozen in fear. He couldn't tell on her. âUm, I don't know, Sir.'
âSo while I'm out here doing my darnedest to fill that empty head of yours with at least a smidgeon of knowledge' â Mudge held up his thumb and forefinger to show how little knowledge he expected Davey to absorb â âyou're having a fine old time lazing around, singing songs and eating lollies. Is that right?'
âNo, Mr Mudge.'
âLast time I found a packet of lollies on this table I recall that you were partly responsible.' Mudge turned to survey the class. âAnd I promised you all then that if I
ever
found someone eating lollies again in class, I'd make an example of that person.'
âYes, Mr Mudge.'
âWarner, I'm determined to teach you something, if it's the last thing I do.' Now Mudge's whole head was purple. It looked like a giant eggplant with hair. âThat's it. Instead of playing sport on Friday you can help me polish the lawn bowls. And if there's any time left over, I'm sure Mrs Trundle will be able to put you to good use.'
Mudge bared his teeth in an evil grin. âSo that means you'll miss the cricket match this week. You're going to have to learn the hard way.'
âMr Mudge?' Tay had her hand up. âI . . .'
Mudge shook his head sadly. âTay, no doubt you're feeling sorry for Warner, but he deserves everything he gets. He'll never learn, otherwise. So I don't want to hear any more about it.'
He peered around the room. âI'm sure someone else could take Warner's place in Friday's game. Any volunteers?'
Bella Ferosi's hand shot up. âI'm an excellent cricketer, Mr Mudge,' she said. âI've never joined the cricket team because I'm the netball captain, as everyone knows.' She looked around the room, searching for confirmation. âBut we have a bye in netball this week, so I'd be happy to captain the cricket team.'
Grinning maliciously, Mudge looked across at Sunil. âWell, I'll suggest that to Ms Maro,' he said. âI'm sure she'd be happy to give you a turn as cricket captain, Bella. It's good to allow others the opportunity to shine, don't you agree, Deep?'
Davey eyed Sunil. His friend had that zombie look again. Sunil was proud to be captain of both the school team and their club team, the Sandhill Sluggers, and he had every right to be â he was a great captain, even if he did sometimes let slip the odd word or two to the other side.
Bella, on the other hand, was the bossiest person Davey had ever met. A cricket team with Bella and Mo in it was a team Davey would never want to join. He shook his head in despair.
âDon't worry, Shorty,' Mo whispered. âI'll take care of those Batfish.' He giggled. âYou can count on me.'
âJust because you can't play doesn't mean you can't come to training.' Sunil had his arm around Davey's shoulder as they rounded the toilet block and headed across C playground.
âYeah, same as me,' Kevin said. âI'm still going to training. It's better than sitting around doing nothing.'
They reached the cricket pitch. Some of the team were already there, but Ms Maro was yet to arrive.
âWhat about Bella?' Davey was in a funk. âThey can't make her captain!'
âNah, that'll never happen.' Sunil sounded his usual happy self. âI'll eat Mo's stinky hat if they make Bella captain.'
Davey was about to make Sunil shake on it â bets like these always cheered him up â when someone called out his name.
âDavey!'
He turned. Tay Tui was running towards them with Ivy Mundine close behind.
âI'm so sorry, bro!' Tay was panting. âI tried to tell Mr Mudge again just now, but he still wouldn't listen. It was like he didn't really want to know . . .'
âHe didn't. He's always like that.' Ivy frowned. âIt's bad luck, though. And now look who's coming.' She pointed.
They turned to see. Bella had just rounded the toilet block and was striding towards them. She was carrying a bat. When she saw them staring, she waved. âHi, everyone! You ready to get stuck in?'
âDon't tell me . . .' This time Sunil looked as if a vampire had drained his whole body of blood. Even the tips of his hair looked grey.
Bella paused to catch her breath, then put one hand on her hip. âSo, I'm thinking we'll start with some warm-ups, then we'll do ten laps of the playground. Then I'll practise my bowling while Tay and George bat. Sunil, you'll be wicket-keeper â'
âUm . . .'
Davey had never seen Sunil at a loss for words. There was always going to be a first time, though.
âUm . . . Um . . . Ah . . .'
âSo, let's start with some stretches.' Bella dropped the bat she was holding. âEveryone space out and do what I do.' She stood with her feet apart, took a deep breath and raised her arms.
No one moved. She stopped to look around.