Keep It Simple (MMG Series Book 4) (19 page)

“Isabella Fisher has nothing on you, Sarah McLellan,” he firmly stated. Before I could ask what he meant, the door opened and in walked Max, Ellie and Dr. LeFevre. Max glared at Cas as he dropped my hand like a hot potato. I wanted to scream in rage at Max for once again forcing me to see the truth.

Nothing has changed and it never will.

I was going to have to find a way to let Cas go.

*     *     *

Four days later

Never in my
wildest dreams did I think I would be the one saying goodbye.

A few hours after I was released from the hospital, Cas showed up at the house. At first Max wasn’t going to let him see me, but with some coaxing from Ellie, he reluctantly gave in. The doctor sent me home with strict rules. One was no visual stimulation for at least seven days. This meant no television or books. When Cas strolled into my room with a bag in his hand and pulled out A Game of Thrones, my heart went pitter patter in a big way.
He remembered.

The night Cas and I first slept together, we were lying in bed talking. The subject of our favorite television shows came up. At the time he was watching A Game of Thrones. I told him I refused to see the series until I’d read the books.

“I thought I would read a little to you,” he sheepishly announced.

I should end this now
, I thought. Instead, I patted the bed beside me. Cas spent the afternoon lying in my bed, reading to me.

Each day after that, he appeared at my house with something new. Day two he brought Jolly Ranchers, which he knew were my favorite candy. Day three he brought me an Oreo Cookie Blizzard from Dairy Queen, because he thought I would like it better than my favorite Butterfinger one. He was right, it was awesome. Today, he showed up with a bag of Hot Fries, because I told him I remembered eating them with my Mom before she passed away. Each time Cas stopped by, he spent chunks of time reading, talking and sharing with me. Each time he left, I was deeper and deeper in love with him.

Cas showed me a completely different side of himself this week. He was tender and caring. He was hilariously funny and so smart it was scary. He was everything I’d ever wanted in a man, but the question still remained. Was he mine? I needed to know before we proceeded any further, so before he showed up and swept me off my feet again, I had to confront him.

It took fifteen pages and half a bag of Hot Fries to get up enough nerve to ask, “Why are you here, Cas?”

He dragged his eyes from the page of the book to my face and blinked. Clearly I’d caught him off guard. “Because this is where I want to be.” His matter-of-fact answer surprised me. It also told me nothing.

“Would you be here if I hadn’t been in the accident?”

“Not in the same way, but yes, I would have eventually tracked you down and apologized for being a dick at MMG.”

I thought about it for a second and then asked, “Have you changed your mind about us, then?”

He paused to gather his thoughts and finally said, “It’s complicated, Sarah.”

“It’s a yes no answer to a direct question, Cas. Do you or don’t you want a relationship with me?”

“Yes, I want one, but no, I can’t have one,” he answered.

My heart sank. “Why not?”

“For various reasons.”

What kind of lame ass answer is that?
“So, you want to be with me, but you can’t and you won’t tell me why?”

“Pretty much.” He stared at the wall behind my head.

“Please look at me, Cas.” His eyes lowered to mine and held. As much as it hurt to say it, I had to. “I can’t do this anymore.” A look of pain appeared on his face and I wanted to scream,
I’m right here! If you want me, take me! What the hell is stopping you?
Of course, I didn’t. Instead, I lay there biting my lips to keep from crying.

“I understand,” he said. I waited for him to say more, but he didn’t, which only infuriated me.

“Well, that’s just great. I sure am glad one of us does!” I sarcastically snapped.

Without any warning, Cas leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine. They tasted like apple Jolly Rancher and Hot Fries. They tasted like the man I was in love with and didn’t want to give up on.
Oh, Cas, why are you doing this?
He pulled back and looked me in the eyes, as if memorizing my face. Then he wrapped his hand around the base of my neck and lowered his mouth back to mine. As his tongue swept in, he took what was left of my heart
. It was his anyway.
As fast as the kiss began, it was over and Cas was walking out the door and out of my life.

Once I started crying, I couldn’t seem to stop. The pain inside my heart was more than I could take and I wanted to curl up in a ball and die. That is, until Max and Ellie came barging in and Max flipped out. It took forever to calm him down and convince him I was just hurting and wasn’t going to do something stupid. Finally, Mac started crying and Ellie forced Max to go get him and leave me in peace. I had to laugh when I discovered the bottle of pain pills gone from my bedside table. Evidently, I wasn’t very convincing. After a few more crying jags, I pulled myself together and tried calling Amanda. When she didn’t answer, I called Sally. Forty-five minutes later, Sal was perched on the bed beside me. As she drank my tea and finished off the rest of my Hot Fries, I explained the Cas and Sarah story from beginning to end. When I was done, she hugged me. Then she asked if I wanted to live with her. Before she left for the night, it was settled.

Sally and I were moving in together.

*     *     *

A week and three days later…

I stared down
at my red toenails and wondered if they were too much.
Maybe I should have gone with the pink.

“When is everyone else due to arrive?” Max asked Ellie.

I was sitting by the pool at a monstrously big house Ellie and Joss had rented for Piper and Gage’s wedding weekend. Max and Ellie talked me into leaving Charlotte a few days earlier than originally planned. I knew what Max was doing. He was buttering me up because he didn’t want me to move out. It was time for me to spread my wings and we both knew it. He was just having a hard time letting me go.

Apparently Max wasn’t the only one having trouble cutting the apron strings. Isabella wasn’t eager to lose Sally either. While Isabella wanted her to stay, Dillon was fine with her leaving and it had caused some definite tension in their household. Dillon and Ibby’s impromptu Vegas wedding further delayed our search for a place to live.

“Tomorrow morning people begin arriving,” Ellie said. “How is your hand feeling, Sarah?”

A few hours before leaving for Kiawah, the doctor replaced my full cast with a removable hand splint. He advised me not to take it on and off too much, but told me I could get it wet. This meant I could enjoy both the pool and beach, something I planned on doing a lot of.

“This sure beats being in a cast,” I said, wiggling my fingers at her. Max’s eagle eyes stared me down. “What?” I asked him.

“Talk to us about Cas,” he said.

Ever since Cas walked out my door and left me inconsolable, Max had been acting like an overprotective oaf. He’d left me alone for the past few weeks, but I could tell he was struggling with it and I knew I was eventually going to have to tell him something. The problem was Cas and my brother were now partners in a business. Cas and I were not going to happen. The last thing Cas needed was my brother angry or upset with him over a nonexistent relationship. I’d thought a lot about it and decided when the time came to talk to Max about Cas, I was going make it all about me. It looked like that time had finally arrived.
Here goes nothing.

“I met Cas the week you two got married.” I slowly began explaining. Max’s eyes darted over to Ellie, but she was busy staring wide eyed at me. Clearly they were both surprised. I couldn’t tell if it was because I was finally talking or because of what I was saying. I waited for one of them to react, but neither of them said anything, so I continued, “He didn’t know who I was and I certainly had no idea who he was. He said he hadn’t been in Charlotte very long.” Again, no one said anything. Taking a deep breath, I pushed the rest out in one long sentence. “I pursued him and he shut me down, then I left for Scotland and when I came back to town and discovered who he was, I thought he was interested, but he wasn’t. He was kind to me and I misread his intentions.” I finished it off with a what-can-you-do shoulder shrug.

Max responded with a rather profane curse word and Ellie rolled her eyes at me.

“I know what you’re doing,” Max said, pointing at me.

“What?” I innocently asked.

“You’re protecting him and I want to know why?”

Max had always been able to read me like a book. He would usually push until I broke and told him what he wanted to know. This time, however, I wasn’t going to break. I needed him to let it go. I knew if I so much as blinked the wrong way, it would be game over. I gave him a blank stare. It was just my luck that Mac, the little darling, decided at that exact moment to let out an unhappy squeal. Max looked away and the stare off was broken.

Thank you Mac!

“The day you were so upset…” Ellie started.

“I told Cas I had feelings for him and he told me he didn’t feel the same way,” I answered.

Max’s eyes narrowed. “Why the fuck not? Is he blind? You are gorgeous.” His indignant tone made me smile.
My protector to the bitter end.

Ellie and I both smiled at him, which only made him scowl more. “Then there’s nothing else to say, is there?” Ellie asked. “Can we please enjoy our time here before everyone else arrives?” By everyone, she meant her dad, Sam, and his horrid new girlfriend, Nexi. She handed Mac over to Max and told him it was time for Mac’s dinner.

As Max stood with Mac, he pinned me with a knowing look. “I’m onto you, little sister,” he warned. I waited until he was safely out of view before letting out the breath I’d been holding.

“I take it there’s a lot you are not saying, and, no, I will not tell Max. What we say to each other is between us,” Ellie assured me.

I stared across the pool to the breaking waves of the ocean and sighed. “No more Cas lectures, please.”

“Hey, no matter what, I am on your side.” Ellie’s soft, understanding tone had me blinking back tears. If I looked at her, I would start crying. I had cried enough over Cas Ashford.
No more.
“One more question and I promise to leave it alone for good. Is it over?”

Wave after wave rushed to the shore, only to end up as a foamy, frothy mess upon the sand. “For him it is.”

“And for you?”

Lifting my eyes from the ocean to her face, I let her see my pain. “He doesn’t feel the same and I can’t make him. I deserve better.”

“Oh, Sarah,” she sighed. Scooting over to my lounger, she wrapped her arms around me and rested her head on my shoulder. “I’m so sorry you are hurting.”

“Give me a little bit more time and I will be just fine,” I told her.

“If not, I will hunt him down and sick Piper on him. She already thinks he’s a big jerk. If she finds out he hurt you, she will castrate the guy.”

The thought of Piper going after Cas made me giggle. A few seconds later, we both were laughing. It was the first time I had laughed in over a week and it felt really good.

Most of the wedding party arrived later that afternoon. The guests began arriving the next morning. Cas and Bobby were due in sometime that day, not that I checked or anything.

Thursday, I saw Cas from afar, but managed to avoid speaking to him until rehearsal dinner Friday night. I could kill whoever was responsible for the seating chart. Why didn’t they put me next to Bobby? Didn’t they know how hard this was for me? The last thing I was prepared for was a dressed up Cas Ashford. His suit fit him like a glove and he was sporting facial hair. He looked sophisticated and edgy and all I could think about was what lay beneath those fine threads. From the hungry expression on his face when he caught site of me, I’d say he felt the same way. As he lowered himself onto the chair next to me, I got a nose full of his clean, masculine scent. Visions of us rolling around in his bed danced across my memory and I fought back a groan.