Keep It Simple (MMG Series Book 4) (23 page)

“What are you thinking?” the object of my attention asked.
What was I thinking?

“There are secrets and there are lies. Both are dangerous and both can hurt. I, of all people understand this,” I told him.

“Sweetheart, you are preaching to the choir,” he scoffed.

Ignoring his comment, I forged ahead. “I have kept secrets to protect people I love. I’m wondering, though, at what point is it no longer a secret, but a lie?”

A confused look appeared on his face. “I’m not sure I follow you.”

“Well, take for example not telling your big brother your father beat you whenever he wasn’t around to protect you. What would be the point in telling him? He wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. If anything, telling him could get him hurt and that is the last thing you would ever want to happen.” The whole time I spoke, Cas’s eyes were glued to mine. “At what point, though, does a secret stop being a secret and become a lie?” Cas’s eyes lit with understanding, but he remained silent, so I pushed on. I didn’t know why I was confessing my sins. This really had nothing to do with me. Maybe I wanted Cas to know he wasn’t the only one keeping secrets. Maybe I was just tired of holding it all in. Whatever the reason, it felt good to let it out. “Sometimes secrets are kept because they are too horrible to tell,” I quietly admitted.

“Such as?” he asked.

Swallowing deeply, I took a breath and confessed something I had never told another living soul, “Such as your father forcing himself on you when he’s too drunk to remember.”

The shock on Cas’s face was almost more than I could take. “Jesus, fuck,” he whispered.

“He was a mean as hell drunk who resented being stuck with two kids. He only caught me off guard a few times. I didn’t dare tell Max because Max would have tried to defend me. My dad would have killed the only person who mattered in the world to me.” Although I knew I was rambling, I wanted to make him understand. Cas’s eyes dropped to the floor and shame washed over me. “The point is, I wonder whether there is a point when secrets become lies, Cas, or are they always lies?”

When he lifted his eyes back to mine I could see the fire in them. He was angry. “I have a little sister,” he said through gritted teeth. “If I found out my father had abused her, it would kill me. Knowing she carried that burden alone, when I could have helped her through it, would gut me. You didn’t tell Max because you were scared for him. I get that. Are you worried he won’t believe you if you tell him now?”

“No. I’m worried he will think I lied to him.”

“Like I’ve been lying to you,” he said. I didn’t correct him.

“Everyone has secrets, Sarah. I never, once, lied to you.”

“I know,” I told him.

“But it feels like I did.”

“Yes,” I whispered, “it does.”

“Were you ever going to tell Max about your dad?”

I shook my head, no.

“Are you now?”

“Probably.”

“Because of me?”

I made sure he was looking at me when I answered, “Because I now understand that not telling is just as bad as lying.”

He nodded his head and I knew he understood what I was saying. Neither of us lied, yet both of us did.

“Five years ago, I began working as a PI for a small firm in Wilmington,” he said. “Sterling Gibson was an important client to the firm. One night I ended up at a cocktail party at his house where I met his daughter, Alexandria. Let’s just say we ended up together. It was a one night stand. I walked away and didn’t think anything about it. Then she showed up at my office claiming she was pregnant and I was the father.” As he was talking, I inched closer to the sofa. He paused long enough to scoot over and pat the cushion next to him. When I settled in, he continued with his story. “When I told her I didn’t believe her, she stormed out like the spoiled brat she is. Later that night her father paid me a visit. I told him if a paternity test proved the child was mine, I would step up, but until then, we had nothing to discuss. The next thing I knew she slapped a paternity test on my desk and told me we were having a son.”

“Good God, Cas. What did you do?”

“I married her.” He waved his hand in the air, as if warding off bad memories. “At first it wasn’t so bad. Her dad has a shit pile of money. He bought us a house on the beach and said it was part of her inheritance. I didn’t want to marry her. I was just starting my career. The last thing I wanted was to be tied down with a kid. Then, there was the fact I didn’t love her. Hell, I could barely even tolerate her. She was everything I hated in a person. After I set eyes on Kalen, all of that changed, though.”

“Kalen?” I asked.

“Kalen Alexander Ashford.” His pain filled eyes stared at me. “God, Sarah, he was the best thing that ever happened to me.”

I didn’t want to ask, but I had to. “What happened to him?”

“A week after my little man was born I came home to a passed out wife and a screaming newborn son. He was wallowing in his own filth. It turns out Xandria had taken a pain pill and washed it down with some wine. She claimed she’d forgotten she wasn’t supposed to mix the two. She also said she was overwhelmed. I suggested she get some help.” He let out a dry laugh. “She took it to heart and, a few days later, I arrived home to find my wife gone to the spa for the day and my son being cared for by our new nanny, Vicky.”

“Wait, she hired someone without running them by you first? It took Max and Ellie weeks to hire Deloris. I remember Ellie talking about how much of a jerk Max was about the whole thing, and how they’d be lucky to find anyone at all.”

“She didn’t give a shit about what I thought. After she hired Vicky she was rarely at home.” He ran his hands through his hair. Then he stood and started pacing back and forth in front of the coffee table. “If it wasn’t booze, it was pills. Talk about secrets, Xandria was the master of hiding shit from me. I didn’t realize how messed up she was until it was too late.” He slumped down next to me and dropped his head to his hands.

“Cas,” I whispered. I wanted to comfort him, but wasn’t sure how.

“She killed my kid,” he said. His words were like a stab to the heart.

“Who Vicky?” I whispered.

“I was on a business trip. I made sure Vicky knew never to leave Alexandria alone with Kalen. I even paid her extra to sleep at the house while I was gone. Her mother slipped and fell, so she had to go take care of her. Three hours.” He lifted his tear filled eyes to mine and I fought back a sob. “Vicky was gone three hours, Sarah. That was all.”

“Tell me,” I said through my tears.

“Alexandria said she put Kalen to bed early because she was tired. Bullshit. She put him to bed so she could get fucked up without him bugging her. Instead of drinking downstairs in front of the television or upstairs in her bedroom like she normally did, she decided to drink by the pool that night. She left the door from the kitchen to the pool open. Vicky and I told her time and time again that Kalen knew how to crawl out of his crib.”

I knew where this was going and held up my hand for him to stop. “Please don’t,” I said.

He waited a minute before continuing. “The wife I never wanted killed the only thing in my life that mattered.” He paused and I glanced up to see what made him stop. His blue eyes pierced through me. “Until you.”

Cas

‡

A
fter Sarah’s confession
about her father, it was difficult shifting gears to Alexandria and Kalen. My head wasn’t in it because I wanted to talk more about what happened to her. I wanted to hold and comfort her, but I couldn’t. She didn’t tell me because she wanted my sympathy. She told me to make a point. Well, she more than succeeded. If my brave girl could tell me about her father, then I sure as hell could tell her about Xandria and Kalen.

The late afternoon sun spilled through the partially opened shutters onto Sarah’s face, and I thought about how much my life had changed because of this beautiful woman. Stormy blue eyes looked up at me as she waited for me to continue. I wanted to kiss the worried expression off her face, but knew better.

“Did you know I am a millionaire?”

Her eyes widened in surprise. “What?”

“Yep, my great grandfather started a money management firm. When he died, he passed it to my grandfather and my grandfather to my father. My father assumed I would follow in his footsteps, and when I didn’t, he disowned me.”

“That’s horrible,” Sarah whispered.

“The same day my wife let our son drown in our swimming pool, she went to lunch with my mother. Mom knew Alexandria had an issue, but she pretended not to see it. When I pointed it out, I got a lecture about how stressful motherhood is. Mom was at the house when Vicky got the call about her mother and encouraged Vicky to go. She knew I didn’t trust Alexandria alone with Kalen, but she did it anyway. Then, without a second thought, she flitted off to meet my father for dinner, leaving Xandria exactly where I didn’t want her to be: alone with our son. My mom was the first person Vicky called. It turns out Vicky misunderstood and thought Mom was going to stay at the house while she was gone. Otherwise, she never would have left.” A bitter, angry laugh slipped out. “I haven’t spoken to either of my parents since the day I buried my son. You want to know why?” Wiping the tears off her face, Sarah nodded her head. “Because minutes after they lowered my baby into the ground, my parents pulled me aside to tell me they had released my inheritance. There was no apology, no admission of wrongdoing, no nothing. At first I didn’t want it, but after I moved to Charlotte and settled in, I changed my mind. Fuck my parents and their guilt money. I would take it and use it exactly how I wanted, regardless of them. That same day I went out and bought my place. Not long after, I bought into LASH as an equal partner. I donated some money to children’s charities and invested the rest. Sarah’s derisive snort made me pause and I realized somewhere in the retelling, I had forgotten I had an audience. My eyes snapped to hers and she smiled.

“Good for you. Did Alexandria come to Charlotte with you?”

“Hell no. When Vicky found Kalen face down in the pool and Alexandria passed out on the lounge chair, she pulled him out, called 911 and then called my mom. My mom and dad were on their way home from dinner at the time. Mom assured Vicky she would call me, but my father insisted they call Alexandria’s father first. Sterling happened to be closer to the house. He arrived while the paramedics were trying to revive Kalen. By the time my parents got there, the paramedics had taken Kalen to the hospital and everything was wrapped up in a deceptive little bow. By Sterling’s account of things, Vicky had to leave early to take care of her mother, I was away on business and Alexandria had fallen ill. It was an accident. Vicky must have forgotten to close the door after cleaning the back porch that afternoon. Sterling, alongside a very emotional Vicky, explained everything to the police.”

“Do you think he paid them off?”

“He didn’t need to. There was no evidence it happened any other way.”

“Unbelievable,” she whispered.

“By the time my mother phoned me, it was a done deal. Sterling flew me to the hospital and I arrived just in time to say goodbye to my son. What they didn’t plan on was me paying Vicky a visit that same night,” I told her.

“And Vicky told you everything,” Sarah finished for me.

I confessed to her something only Bobby, Sterling, Alexandria and I had knowledge of. “Vicky took pictures.”

Sarah’s hand shot out and latched onto my arm. “Oh my God,” she breathed.

“Yep, good ole Vicky had just about seen it all by that point. She knew Alexandria was rotten to the core. She was worried about Kalen. So was I, but not to the same degree. I hadn’t seen as much as she had and she hadn’t told me everything. She was scared shitless of Xandria. It took my son dying for me to get a clue.”

“The pictures?” Sarah prompted.

“Vicky took pictures of Xandria passed out drunk with bottles and pills beside her the night Kalen drowned. That’s how I forced Alexandria to agree to rehab as well as not contesting the divorce.

“Wait! Where was Alexandria when all of this was happening?” Sarah asked.

“Sleeping it off and then who the fuck knows?” I snarled. “Alexandria stopped being my problem the morning after she killed my son.” Sarah released her death grip on my arm and I immediately missed the warmth of her touch.

“So, you left her the next day?” she asked.

“After saying good bye to Kalen in the hospital and talking to Vicky, I didn’t want to go home. The police wanted to speak to me and I had no clue what to tell them. My fucked up wife killed my son. I was sitting on the beach when Bobby called. I remember how tired I was. It wasn’t the I-need-sleep tired, but more like the I-don’t-want-to-do-this-anymore kind of tired. Sterling had been trying to reach me for hours. Since I didn’t want to talk, he called Bobby and told him everything. I don’t think I’ve ever heard Bobby that angry before. I told him where I was and fifteen minutes later he was sitting next to me.”

“Oh, Cas,” Sarah said. She slid her hand in mine and squeezed.

“I don’t know what I would have done without Bobby. He took care of shit I never would have thought about. He called an attorney friend of ours and scheduled a meeting. Then he called Sterling and told him if he didn’t show, I was pressing charges. He drove me back by Vicky’s house and got her phone. Then he drove us to the office, where he transferred the pictures, with time date stamps on them to the proper files and printed them out. We met with the lawyer an hour before Sterling arrived and came up with a game plan. Sterling fought us on it until the lawyer presented the physical evidence of his daughter’s negligence and explained how we would be more than thrilled to use it against her. It took all of thirty minutes to nail down the terms. I would not file charges on the terms that Alexandria agreed to a separation, didn’t contest the divorce and checked her ass into rehab, where she would remain for the entirety of the program.