Keeping You: KJ Elite Inc. (13 page)

He pulled away, sucking in air laboriously. Good to know this was affecting him the same way it was me. My chest was rising and falling with the effort to replenish my lungs.

“I can’t promise you that I won’t have my wicked way with you, but you set the pace, okay?”

Another small nod and his lips smashed down on mine in a frenzy of need.

One of his hands slid down my side, grazing my breast, tickling my waist and stopping at the hem of my panties. He paused and I covered his hand with mine, guiding him to my center.

I could handle this. I could.

Noah made me feel things I could only read about or heard of. He never hurt me or mistreated me in any way. He took it above and beyond with everything to make sure I not only felt safe with him, but that I just felt safe.

My hope, a new dream, was that through Noah I could move on and take control over my whole life, my fears and stupid phobia’s.

If there was anyone in this world who could do it, it was him. I’ve only ever felt this safe, this whole, once before in my life with one chiseled, rough around the edges man; my first “No.”

As irrational as it sounded, maybe I took to Noah because he was such a strong resemblance of Nolan.

Of course at that age I had recognized how handsome he was, but didn’t feel any kind of attraction for my savior. Noah though – I’m pretty sure my behavior speaks for itself. He saved me just like Nolan did, running into the fray and pulling me away to safety. Both promised me that no one would hurt me ever again so long as they lived but only one of them had made it back out.

Images of the fire, the sounds of screaming and alarms, and the acrid smell of smoke and burnt flesh assaulted my senses, stealing me away from my moment with Noah. Memories of the years he hurt me and allowed others to do so; this was where it started - all the way back to the pig of a sperm donor pimp who tried to whore me out.

“Stay right here with me, sugar.” Noah cooed in my ear, nibbling my lobe.

Hearing Noah’s silky voice heavy with desire was like a life line; he led me through the fire and just like that, I was swept back up in his tidal wave of bliss.

His fingers dipped into my panties, caressing my wet folds. A shiver racked my body and he took my lips again before sliding a thick finger inside me. He groaned and rubbed the heel of his palm against my clit. I cried out and sunk my nails into his shoulder. The sensations overwhelmed me in the best way imaginable.

“You’re so wet for me, sugar. You like this?”

I nodded vigorously and he chuckled, kissing the corner of my mouth; my jaw, my throat, down my neck.

“Say it, Jamie,” he whispered against my skin where my neck met my shoulder.

Noah knew making me say it was torture, but I didn’t pause to think about it. I just felt.

“I like that.” I whimpered, moving my hips to quicken the pace; to intensify the friction against his palm. “Please don’t stop.”

“Mmm. So eager. Don’t you worry, I’ll get you there.”

I was already soaring beyond my wildest dreams. The feeling building in me was too much; it felt like he had to stop or I would burst. Instead, he quickened his movements further and added a second finger inside me. Holy crow the stretch was tantalizing.

I cried out gyrating against the heel of his hand, deepening his fingers.

“Fuck, you’re so tight, sugar.”

Noah’s hot mouth covered my pebbled nipple through the t-shirt. The way the fabric rubbed against my sensitive flesh mixed with the moisture and heat from his mouth was deliciously erotic. My chest pushed into his mouth; my whole body fought to get closer to the points he was ravaging. I could feel my insides tighten around his fingers.

“That’s it, Jamie. Come for me.”

And I did. I came right there; listening to his voice and feeling his long fingers inside me, stroking my g-spot with total precision. My body jerked and my soul pirouetted, a kaleidoscope of colors flashing behind my eyelids. This feeling was like nothing else, ever. There was no comparing it to anything and if there was something else this absolutely awesome, I never felt it before, either.

Noah winked at me when I eyed him and then he did something astonishing.

Slowly pulling his fingers out of me, he lifted his hand to his face. His eyes rolled back in his head before he slipped them in his mouth and sucked.

I turned so red, I was purple.

“Just as sweet and perfect as I knew you would be.”

It was amazing how hearing him say something so unexpected, would calm me down.

Cosmo never told me a man would do that. Maybe they did and I skipped that article, but Noah certainly seemed to like it.

“You thought I’d…taste sweet?” I asked, flustered.

“Oh, I knew you would. I don’t call you sugar for nothin’.”

Then he kissed me, square on the lips.

“I’m going to put my mouth there next sugar, and you’re gonna scream my name when you’re coming.”

I didn’t give a damn if he just licked my juices off his fingers or not; I kissed him so hard, I saw stars. Blindly, I reached for his pants and started moving like a maniac. Noah moved his hands up under my shirt next when I wrapped one of my legs around his. He jerked away quickly and stood next to the bed, chest heaving. Talk about being doused in cold water.

“I’m sorry.” I’m not sure if I hurt him or what, but apologizing was kind of my go-to response.

His belt was undone and top button unbuttoned showing me that while his chest was bare, he kept a happy trail down low that was pointing to exactly what I was aiming for.

“Just give me a minute, please.”

Suddenly I was feeling very self-conscious and gathered all the blankets up to my chin. If I thought I could make a run for it to the bathroom and get there before he stopped me, I would have gone already.

“Jamie, I…”

“No, it’s okay. I think I get it.”

But I didn’t. Not in the slightest.

What the heck did I do?

“You have no idea, honey.”

“Then tell me, please.” I pleaded, going up on my knees.

“It’s not that fucking simple.” He shouted throwing his arms in the air.

I jumped back and pulled the blankets tighter.

“God Damnit! I’m sorry, sug. I’m not intentionally yelling at you.”

I suppose “sug” is better than “honey”.

“I-I’m okay. I’m not scared.” I shook my head, but he knew it was bologna.

“No. Look. I have this… I have this thing that no one knows about and it’s not that pretty.”

Who in their right, or left, mind would have ever believed in a million years that in an intimate situation such as this, that I would be the one who was least embarrassed? But seriously, what could he have that’s that embarrassing to him?

“Whatever it is, I promise I won’t judge you.” And I wouldn’t.

We all had something, right?

I summoned whatever amount of courage I had left and went to him. Getting down on my knees, I hesitated only once before reaching for his zipper.

“Jamie.” He closed his eyes and swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing.

My fingernails lightly scratched his skin as I slid my fingers in the waistband of his pants and pulled.

The whole time I kept my eyes to his. When his pants were at his ankles, I brought my hands up to his thighs, just below his boxers, and slid them down in an attempt at comforting him.

Now I knew what had him so upset. I felt it before I saw it.

“Why wouldn’t you tell me, Noah? There’s nothing ugly about this.” My voice soft, hopefully calming.

His eyes shot open and he looked at me, baffled.

“You don’t mean that. You can’t.”

“Are you telling me how I feel?” I was going to get angry.

No, I am angry.

“I mean it from the bottom of my heart.” I argued. “So, you have a prosthetic.”

“Are you sure, I thought it was a second penis.” He sassed.

“No man would hide that.” I pointed. “Everything about you is pretty.”

I kissed just above his knee, then I kissed in the same spot on his other leg.

“I’ve imagined you on your knees before me many times, but never once did you get down there and use the word, ‘pretty’, sugar.”

I stood up and put my hands on my hips, mirroring him. Minus the pants around the ankles because I didn’t have any on at all.

“You lied to me.”

His brows pulled together and he stared at me, totally clueless.

“You said no one knows.”

He’s a quick one, I’d give him that; didn’t take him long to connect the dots.

“Okay, let me clarify - he’s the only one
here
who knows. You cannot have secrets and know him. Other than him, no one knows.”

I cringed when he said no one has secrets and knew Luke, because there was plenty I wanted to stay in my past. Needed to stay in my past.

Luke and I were going to have to talk later. With him being around all the time, I had warmed up to him, and by warmed up I mean I could stand to be in the same room with him if no one else was there without running and screaming when he looked at me.

Baby steps.

Except with Noah. This man had a freakin’ bulldozer for my nerves and irrational crap.

“Why don’t your parents know?”

He tensed and shook his head.

“Do not dare go breaking my two year streak. They didn’t find out when I got blown up and they don’t need to find out now, either.”

“That is incredibly selfish of you, Noah Kane. They have a right to know.”

“For what? So they can treat me like some fucking invalid? No thanks.”

“You must have a very low opinion of your family.” I shook my head at him, clucking my tongue.

I’m in no mood to argue so I put a hand to his mouth and turn away, climbing back into the bed.

“I’m tired and would like to take a nap.”

The truth was, instead of walking away I needed to sit or lay because my legs were jelly; I had literally spent every ounce of my energy trying to be the ice queen again, standing up to a man like him. Granted there was no ice queen tonight. My courage was fleeting and sleep was a great cover up. I have truthfully never been so brave or upfront or outspoken without being a total you-know-what.

Whatever it was that Noah was doing to me was….fantastical.

Never before have I ever felt so free; demons were still swirling around my head but there was a light now and it cleared a path for me; however dim, it was there. That was the thing about living in a constant darkness your whole life – even a speck of light was noticeable, like a lighthouse beacon calling you forward.

The sound of his belt and fabric moving was my only indication he was still there. Laying there in undies and his shirt, my back to him, he slid into the bed behind me pulling the blankets up. Exhaustion was clawing at me when a thought tickled the edges of my mind.

Noah’s hand caressed my hip while his breath skidded across my neck.

“Thank you.”

His chest shook with a silent chuckle before he asked, “What for, pray tell.”

“That was my first orgasm, ever.” I whispered as the sleep overtook me.

Vaguely I think I felt him jump up to sitting and cuss a string of very colorful curses but I couldn’t fight my way back to consciousness.

The sound of the front door slamming jostled me from my dreamless sleep. I looked over at the nightstand to see the sweat’s Noah ripped off of me and tossed at the alarm clock here missing. Blurry, red numbers read “15:42”. Was I drugged at some point?

Noah’s large hand was covering my breast and his member was pressing into my hip. I lay on my back with his leg draped over mine, his eyes wide open and neck craned, listening intently.

In what felt like a perfected routine, he had me off of the bed and was shoving me into the closet in a flash.

“Close the door, lock it from the inside and do not come out unless I tell you to. I’ll say ‘Package’ when it’s clear. Move, now.” Noah’s voice was menacing.

I didn’t bother wasting words, quietly swinging the door shut and smacking the locks in place.

If I was anyone else, anywhere else, I probably would have thought it odd that there was a series of locks in man’s closet but right now I was just thankful. It also helped, given my horrendous, and very real fear of small spaces (mostly closets), that his was practically half the size of his master bedroom.

I pulled open the first drawer nearest me and grabbed another pair of sweats.

The bedroom door swung open and I struggled to hear two male voices approaching the closet.

“We have a minor problem.” One voice said quietly.

“Yeah, when don’t we?” Another said.

“Listen, I’ve had this anonymous informer for years. He works with the FBI but he’s not on any file or record I’ve ever found. About six months ago I started really thinking, what if he’s one of those. You know, sort of like Matt.” The first said.