Authors: Amelia Whitmore
I stopped breathing. The words cutting through me like a knife. "What?" I asked in shock.
"Apparently, S-Steve divorced her and n-now I have to be there again.” She started crying softly into my chest. "I don't want to go.” She whispered.
"Then you won't. Your Dad won't let you go back to that.” I told her, trying to sound comforting.
She shook her head. "He doesn't know. Only you do.” The hand that was rubbing her back stilled.
"You never told him?" I asked, not knowing what to say.
"How do you tell your father that the woman he's left you with for most of your life is a junky alcoholic?" She asked.
"Honey, you need to tell him.” I said, kissing her forehead.
"How," she asked? I squeezed her closer to me.
"I'll help you.” I told her, unsure of what else to say. Speaking of Coach, he entered the room then. He looked like somebody had run over his puppy, which was expected. Ashley left my arms and went to him. He held her close.
"I can't go back to her,” Ashley whispered.
Coach looked helpless. "She's your legal guardian honey. I can't stop her.” He said softly.
Ashley let out a sob. I shook my head, unable to believe what was happening. "Coach, you need to fight for custody.” I told him. Coach looked at me like he was going to tell me to shove it. But I spoke to Ashley before he could. "Honey, you need to tell him.” She looked at me and nodded, coming to sit beside me again. I held her hand.
"You're not pregnant, are you?" Coach asked horrified.
Ashley scoffed, "Absolutely not.“ A grin almost coming across her face. Then she looked at him with sad eyes and started telling him about her childhood. He sat there, his eyes clouding over when he heard about the drugs. When she was finished, he just sat there in a trance. Once he snapped out of it, he looked at her, sadness taking over his features.
"Why didn't you tell me before?" He asked.
"Because I was too young to know what she was doing and when I realized, I was already living here. I thought that it didn't matter anymore because she had Steve and I'd never have to move back.” I held her closer to my body.
"I'll call a lawyer.” Coach said before he pulled her to him and squeezed her. "I'm so sorry.” He whispered, a tear rolling down his cheek. I looked away, realizing that it was a private moment.
"You're not leaving, are you?" I asked Andy once Dad left to go call an attorney.
"Not unless you want me to.” He said, wrapping his arms around me and holding me close. I snuggled up to his chest. I loved moments like this. Despite what was going on in my life, Andy managed to make me forget and only focus on him; and the way I feel around him.
If somebody had told me two weeks ago that I'd fall for one of my father's football players, make an ass of myself multiple times, become a needy girlfriend, and then that I'd have to move back in with my mother; I'd have called them crazy. Now, my reality was crashing down on me and Andy was the only thing keeping me grounded.
"Thank you for being here.” I whispered.
I felt him grin against my hair. "Whenever you need me, I'll be there. No matter what,” He told me. I knew he meant it too. Often, people say things to console people. Andy wasn't doing that, though. I felt like crying a mixture of sad and sweet tears, but I kept them back.
"I love you, Andy.” I told him, twisting a little to look at him. His eyes stared deeply into mine, telling me without words that the feeling was more than mutual. I reached up and pressed my lips against his, tasting the aftertaste of Pepsi. He must have been drinking one before I called him. I pulled back slightly. "You taste like pop.” I told him, licking my lips.
His eyes followed the movement of my lips and a hungry look came across his face. I watched his adam's apple bob up and down as he gulped. "You taste of apples.” He informed me. I giggled, thinking of how much apple juice I had that morning.
"I love it when you make that noise.” He said as his arms wrapped themselves tighter around my waist.
"What sound?" I asked innocently.
"Any sound you make,” he whispered before leaning down to kiss me again. His lips were hard against mine, yet soft at the same time. One of his hands worked its way up to my hair and knotted his fingers in it. I felt his tongue swipe across my bottom lip, asking for access to my mouth. I moaned lightly, not yet used to the sparks Andy could ignite in me, and felt his tongue enter my mouth.
I'd had boyfriends in the past, but none of them could kiss me like Andy could. He made me feel like I was drowning, unable to find oxygen for my lungs. The feeling was so delicious that air could take a hike for all I cared.
My thoughts, unfortunately, drifted to wondering how much longer I had to do this with him. Would my mother win in a custody battle? If she did, I'd end up moving to Oklahoma with her. I'd only get to see Andy a couple times a year, which would be heartbreaking.
With that, my mood was ruined. I pushed him away lightly, tears in my eyes. "Hey, what's wrong?" He asked, clearly concerned that he'd done something wrong. I just shook my head and apologized.
"I'm sorry. I just started thinking that we might not have much time left together. I didn't mean to, but I couldn't help it. Now I can't stop thinking about it.” I told him, regret laced in my voice. He gave me a sad, but understanding, smile.
"It's okay honey. We'll get through this, though. Coach wouldn't let anybody take you now. Plus, your birthday is in less than a couple of months; you'll be eighteen then.” He reminded me. My eyes lit up. It felt like a breath of fresh air.
"You're right,” I told him happily. If anything, I'd move in with my mom for a few weeks, and then move back as soon as my birthday came around.
Before I could share my logic with Andy, even though he'd technically put it in my mind, Dad walked in the room. The look on his face didn't look like he'd gotten good news. He sat down at the end of my bed, running a hand down his face. "The lawyer says that there's no proof of child abandonment. They can't bring a case up against her, especially since you've lived with me for so long and you're almost a legal adult.” He said, looking disappointed in himself.
I just nodded; feeling like a piece of my heart was broken. "Okay,” I said my voice heavy with tears. I cleared it. "She said that she sent some bus tickets in the mail. I'm supposed to be there by the end of the week.” I told him, tears falling steadily.
Dad looked at me and Andy. "I'll give you two some privacy.” He said, leaving my room and surprisingly shutting the door behind him. Andy crushed me to his chest. I felt his chest rising unsteadily as he breathed.
I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, squeezing myself as close as I could possibly manage. "We'll be okay, baby. I promise we will. What's the date today?" He spoke quickly.
"Today's October fourteenth,” I told him softly. He did the math in his head. "Your birthday's November thirtieth, right?" He asked. I nodded. "That's only like six weeks. We can do that.” He said, convincing himself.
I looked up at him, when I spoke, my voice, unintentionally, sounded vulnerable. "Will you visit me?" I asked shyly. His lips on mine confirmed that he would. We both lay down on my bed and drifted off to sleep in each other's arms.
When we woke up, the clock read 8:00. We went downstairs to see Louis and Perry playing with dinosaurs on the floor. My heart broke all over again when I realized I'd have to tell them goodbye. Andy's hand gripped mine, comforting me and telling me he was there for me. I walked up to them and wrapped Louis up in my arms and grabbed Perry's hand, bringing them to the couch to sit with me.
"I have something to talk to you two about,” I told them softly.
The reality of the situation hit me further when she told her brothers that she'd be leaving. They took it like you'd expect little children to. They were confused, then heartbroken.
"Ash no go!" Perry cried out. I'm not sure that Louis actually understood what was happening, but he cried too. Tears were rolling down Ashley's face as she tried to explain to them that they shouldn't be sad, but look forward to when she came back. They weren't listening, though.
Coach and Angela came into the room then and sat down with us. Coach picked Perry up and held him close. "We're going to visit Ashley a bunch. You won't even get a chance to miss her. I promise.” Ashley's tears fell faster when she heard that.
"Why Ash gotta go?" Perry asked.
"My mom needs me to be back home,” Ashley explained.
Perry looked confused, looking between Angela and Ashley. "But Momma your Mom,” He said.
Ashley's face looked so sad. She leaned over and kissed his forehead. "I wish Buddy, I wish.” She whispered.
The next week flew by too quickly. Before I knew it, Friday came and I was standing outside of the bus station with Ashley, trying to say goodbye. It was harder to do than I expected it to be. "I'll call you every day.” I promised her, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. She could only nod. "Also, if you're lonely at all on the bus, call me and I'll talk to you until you feel better.” I didn't know what else to say.
A single tear fell from her eye. "I love you, Andy," she whispered when her bus was called. I hugged her to me and pressed my lips against hers.
"I love you too, be safe." I whispered my voice too heavy to talk any louder.
She nodded and grinned. "Don't let this affect your game. I'll come back and kick your ass.” She winked at me, trying to lighten the mood.
"Don't tempt me." I grumbled before hugging her again. She sighed against me.
"I'll call you," she promised when I freed her from my arms.
"You better," I said, squeezing her hand one last time. She walked over to the bus and turned back to look at me before getting on. I waited until the bus was out of site before I got in my car and drove home. The guys, my three friends that I live with, all knew what today was and were there for me when I got home.
"You okay man?" One asked. His girlfriend smacked his arm and hissed "Of course he's not 'okay' Ash, don't be daft.” My heart clenched at his name, being the same as Ashley's nickname.
I gave them a fake smile. "I'm okay guys. I'll just be in my room," I told them.
They all nodded. Tim spoke up when I reached the stairs. "We're ordering pizza later. Do you want us to save you some?" He asked. It was odd; he's usually such a joker. My attitude must have worn off on him. I felt a little bad about that, but I could only focus on Ashley at the moment.
I nodded. "Please," I said before going up to my room.
I lie back on my bed and fell asleep. When I woke up, I realized I'd slept the entire night and it was now morning. I had school today. In a panic I checked my phone, making sure I didn't miss a call from Ashley after I promised her I'd be there. When I saw that I hadn't missed any, I felt a mixture of thankfulness and disappointment. I decided to call her.
After two rings, she answered with a whisper. "Hello?"
"Hey," I said softly.
"How are you? Sorry, I didn't call. I fell asleep when I got on the bus and then it was night time when I woke up. I didn't want to irritate the people around me," she explained quickly. Part of me was incredibly relieved for some reason.
"I miss you so much." I told her honestly.
"I miss you too. I just keep telling myself that it's only a few weeks before I come home again," she told me. I felt a wave of hate roll over me towards her mother. I'd been getting that a lot lately.
I glanced at the time. "I actually only called to check in. I've got classes in half an hour that I have to be at. I'm sorry," I said sadly.
"Oh, don't worry about it. Do well today. Will you please tell my Dad I say 'hey'? I haven't been able to get a hold of him." She said, trying to be supportive, but her voice sounded down.
"Of course, I love you, baby," I told her.
"I love you too," she said. I could hear the tears in her voice.
I hung up before I got too emotional, it'd be a little embarrassing if she heard her boyfriend, captain of her father's football team, start to cry.
Downstairs, I grabbed a slice of cold pizza and ate it on the car ride to school. I wasn't looking forward to football practice. Coach would be another reminder of Ashley. The fact that she wouldn't be at practice for the first time in forever would make everything a little more real.
"Hey, Coach.” I greeted him when I got there.
"Richmond,” He nodded. "How are you holding up son?" He asked his eyes sad.
"I've been better sir,” I admitted. "Ashley wanted me to tell you she says 'hey'. Apparently, she couldn't get a hold of you." I told him.
He checked his phone immediately and saw two missed calls. "Shit. I forgot it was on silent. Thanks, Andy.” He said quickly before running towards his office. I looked longingly at him, wishing it could be me who was calling Ashley now but understanding that he needed to talk to her too.
None of the guys pulled anything today. Between my crappy attitude and Coach shouting when he didn't have to, nobody dared.
I got home that night and ended up dreaming about when Ashley and I would see each other again.