Kilgannon (16 page)

"And I will never forget the sight of seeing that pig on top of ye, Mary." He fingered my torn bodice. "Ye'11 need a new dress, I'm thinking, and yer cloak is covered with blood."

"Yes," I said, and sighed. We lay quietly until he kissed my forehead again. "My lips aren't bruised," I said. He gave a deep laugh as he bent to kiss me on the mouth. And then again, this time longer. I ignored the complaints of my neck and laughed when he gently kissed my bruised cheek and said he'd try to make it all better. And I concentrated when he kissed my neck and my shoulders and strayed lower to the tops of my breasts. I opened my eyes when he pulled the shreds of my corset aside and bent to caress the space between my breasts with his lips and shuddered when his hand cupped my breast next to his head. His touch was light but sure, and I felt, even through the overlay of spent emotion and brandy, my body respond and his answer. I pressed myself against him and stroked my hand through his hair, pulling it loose from its binding so that we were lost in a curtain of blond silk. My own hair, long ago dropped from its prim pinnings, slipped across my shoulder as he turned with a groan and rubbed his hand along my hip. Our hair, black entwined with gold, rubbed against my bare shoulder and fell across my breasts.

Alex pulled back from me and stared into my eyes. "We canna do this now, Mary. We'll wait until yer neither injured nor tipsy. Nor feeling indebted. What yer feeling is the joy of finding yerself alive when ye weren't sure ye would be."

"No, Alex," I said, pulling him down to kiss him heartily. "What I'm feeling is the joy of touching you. Kiss me again." He kissed me, then gently broke my grip as he sat on the edge of the berth. He took a deep breath as he shook his head.

"Lass, I don't want ye ever
to
say ye dinna understand what was happening. It's the shock of them attacking ye, combined with the brandy, that's affecting ye."

I rose to lean on one elbow. "Yes," I said deliberately, for when I moved I could feel the brandy hit my head again. "But, Alex, what I'm feeling just now is not gratitude."

"Ye've had a scare," he said, straightening his kilt and belt.

"I have. And now I need comforting," I laughed, and after a moment he joined me, although ruefully.

"Yer a one. No, lass, when we ... when we ... go further I'd have it be a little more special than in a ship's berth in the winter on the way to Cornwall." "What do you mean?" I asked, sitting up now.

"In a proper bed—"

"No, Alex, what do you mean, 'on the way to Cornwall'?" I turned to the window and pulled aside the curtain. He was right. We were moving. "Alex! We're sailing!" The lights of the shore passed by to my right. We must still be in the Thames, I thought, but these lights were much too sparse to be London's. "We're leaving London? We're going to Cornwall?"

He nodded. "I told ye I must go as soon as I saw the agent, lass. The attack dinna change that, only made it more critical. I'm thinking someone dinna want me to make this trip perhaps."

"Where are we?"

"Almost at the mouth of the Thames. It'll get rougher soon, when we get into the open ocean, so I thought I'd make sure ye were comfortable. I dinna mean to wake ye."

I stared at him in horror. "You cannot be serious," I said. "You cannot mean to take me with you to Cornwall?"

"I couldna leave ye behind."

"You most certainly could have."

"Mary," he said as though to a child, "as I told ye in the coach, whoever planned the attack now kens ye were involved. I couldna leave ye in London without protection while I go to Cornwall. I had to take ye with me."

"No, Alex, you didn't," I said crisply. "You could have taken me to my aunt's house. I have plenty of protection there. What were you thinking, bringing me to your brig?"

His tone was cold. "I was thinking of yer safety."

"And what of my reputation?"

"Ye dinna complain when I brought ye aboard, Mary."

"I was in no shape to think clearly."

"And ye dinna complain when ye heard all the commotion of us leaving the dock."

"I'd had two glasses of brandy by then. I thought that was just normal noise aboard your ship. I wasn't paying attention to what the others were doing. Alex, how could you just... just abduct me? How could you? What were you thinking?"

"That I was protecting ye, Mary."

"Alex, you know what people will think. How could you do this to me?" I felt my tears threatening again. "How dare you?"

His expression grew remote. "I was thinking of yer life, Mary, not yer damned reputation. Why is yer own good opinion not enough for ye? Why do ye have to do what society thinks is proper instead of what yer heart tells ye? I've already proven I don't mean to take advantage of ye. I could have taken yer body just now and used ye for my own satisfaction. And yours, I might add. Ye were willing enough." I turned my face away, feeling the flush steal over me. "But I dinna do it, so don't preach to me."

We had an awkward moment of silence while I reviewed my thoughts. The brandy haze seemed far away now. He was correct that I had not protested about being brought on board. And it had been me who had escalated our love-making. He, not I, had stopped it. But how could he not realize that removing me from London for days or weeks would be the death of any reputation I had left? Like it or not, London was the world in which I lived, and what he had done, if it were discovered, would mark me forever.

I looked at him again. "Alex, you have to take me back. Louisa will be frantic. She'll think I'm dead."

He shook his head and spoke brusquely. "I sent word to her before we left that ye were with me. They'll ken yer safe. By now the word of the attack will have gotten everywhere. I dinna have time to take ye back. I've lost enough time as it is. Ye'll come with us and return when we return."

"You have no right to abduct me, Alex. Take me home!"

"Abduct ye, Mary! I dinna abduct ye. I saved ye!"

"And now you are removing me against my will. Is that not an abduction? If not, pray, sir, tell me what is."

"I dinna hear any protests a bit ago." "Don't change the subject, Alex. You have to take me home."

"No, Mary, I do not. Ye have no say in this!"

"No say! If anyone should have some say, it is I! Take me home, Lord Kilgannon. At once. And that, sir, is not a request."

Before he could answer, there was a knock on the cabin door and Angus stuck his head in, then entered and closed the door behind him. "Ye can both be heard clearly in the hallway," he said, crossing his arms over his chest and looking grimly at us. I pulled the blanket to my chin and glared at Alex, who paced across the room, then grabbed his hair back with jerky movements, wrapping it tightly before speaking. Alex gestured to me.

"Mary is angry with me for having brought her with us."

"I told ye," Angus said, and Alex glared at him. "Ye should have brought her home. Her family will care for her."

"Not like we would," snapped Alex.

Angus shrugged. "Perhaps; perhaps even better. They can spirit her away to Mountgarden or Grafton, and no one could harm her there. I told ye this earlier."

"You must take me home at once, Alex," I said.

Alex looked from Angus to me, and when Angus nodded, Alex stormed out the door. I could hear him calling Calum, the captain, to turn around and go back to London.

Angus watched me without expression. "He's verra angry now, lass. Are ye sure this is what ye want?"

"I must go home, Angus. There will be enough to-do about my absence as it is. My aunt will be frantic."

"We sent word to yer aunt."

"That I am here with you all. Do you have any idea what troubles I had after my visit here to see if Alex was
sick? Imagine
what will happen if I go with you now to Cornwall and then return to London. I'll be ruined."

"What does that matter? Ye ken Alex would care properly for ye. Ye've insulted him and hurt his feelings, lass. Ye seem to care more for people's opinion than for yer own safety."

"It wasn't me they were after, Angus. It was Alex."

He nodded. "I think so too."

"And Alex should have asked me."

Angus shrugged. "Alex is used to making decisions, Mary."

"And I am used to being consulted about my movements."

"As ye wish, lass. I hope ye'll be happy with yer choice."

He left me then and I started to cry, hearing the echo of his words. As I wished. Isn't that what Alex had said when we'd met, that it would be as I wished? I wiped my eyes and lifted my chin.

I was on deck when we sailed into London in the early hours of the morning after having fought the morning tide the whole trip west. The lights of London glowed quietly as we passed, looking like landlocked stars, and I concentrated on them rather than on the tall man standing so silently behind me. When we landed, Alex went ahead, and it was Angus who handed me down the gangplank. At the foot of the dock Matthew held a horse, and Alex stood before him.

"Sorry, Mary," Matthew said. "I couldna get a coach at this hour. I could only get a horse." I wondered if I were expected to find my way alone across London on a strange horse.

"It'll do," Alex growled, and turned to give me a hand up. I climbed to the horse's back and gasped as Alex vaulted himself in front of me. "Hold on tightly, Miss Lowell," he said as he wheeled the horse around and we leapt away.

I threw my arms around his waist and turned to see Matthew and Angus standing with open mouths and the men of Gannon's Lady lining the rails to watch us. And then I had to concentrate on staying on the horse as Alex galloped him through the streets, the wind blowing Alex's kilt far up his thigh. When we went around a corner much too fast, I leaned my head on his back and closed my eyes. I'd never see Alex again after this, I realized, and tightened my arms around him. And maybe, I thought, maybe it was for the best. I opened my eyes as he took a deep shuddery breath. No, not for the best. But maybe it had been inevitable. Our worlds were too different.

London was just awakening when we rode through, and Alex had to slow as the carts and vendors filled the roads. I tried to avoid the curious glances we were thrown and tried not to wonder what I must look like. My hair, never re-pinned, bounced on my back, and the blanket I still wore slipped at moments from my shoulder, revealing the torn bodice and naked arm. By the time we got to Louisa's, the horse was walking and still we'd not said a word to each other.

The front door was open and Bronson stood on the front steps. As we approached, Randolph's coach came from the stables and paused by the step. And Robert and Randolph and Louisa came out from the house. They watched us with shocked expressions and glad cries as we drew near. When we stopped, it was Robert who helped me down as Alex dismounted, and Robert who stood with me facing Alex. Alex raised his chin, nodded at Louisa and Randolph, and gestured to me.

"Here she is," he said to them all in a brittle voice. "She's unharmed except for bruises and bumps. She'll tell ye the story of what happened. I took her to my ship afterward to be sure she was
a’ right
and she wanted to be returned, so here she is." He bowed to me. "Miss Lowell, I'll take my leave."

I felt my eyes fill with tears. "Alex, thank you. Thank you."

"For saving yer life or yer reputation, Miss Lowell?" He looked at Robert. "She'll make ye a fine wife, Campbell. I've only kissed her, not more. She's not lost her virtue." Alex pulled the square of Campbell plaid from his belt and handed it to Robert, who took it with a puzzled look. "Yer men botched the attack. They dinna get me, but they almost cost ye a bride." His voice softened as he glanced at me, then back to Robert. "Care for her well, man. She's worth yer effort."

He reached out and gently stroked my unbruised cheek. "It's probably for the best, Mary," he said, and walked back to the horse.

"MacGannon," Robert said. "I didn't send men to attack you."

Alex looked at Robert over the horse's back. "But ye ken of it, I can see," Alex said, his voice harsh again.

Robert nodded. "All of London knows of it, Alex. They weren't my men. I wouldn't have done that." The two men stared at each other, and at last Alex nodded as well.

"Damned if I ken why, but I believe ye, Robert," he said, and vaulted onto the horse's back. I ran to him.

"Alex," I said. "Don't leave like this."

"It's too far to walk, Mary," he said in a harsh tone, but when I came next to the horse he almost smiled. "I told ye, lass," he whispered bleakly, "that it would be as ye wished. And this" —he gestured at the group behind me—"is what ye wished. I hope it's what ye wanted."

"Alex, will you come to see me?"

He did smile then. "I think not, Miss Lowell. I've told ye, I don't pay attention to other men's wives."

I stepped back as though slapped, then raised my chin. Two could play this game. "Thank you for bringing me home,

Lord Kilgannon," I said clearly. "I appreciate your efforts. And I'm sure you're correct that it's probably for the best."

Alex nodded. "Aye. I can see ye have not the stomach for life with a man such as me."