Jason quietly entered the construction
trailer with a grim look on his face. He had bad news and hoped
Garrett wouldn't shoot the messenger. He was leaning over some
plans with his hands placed on each side of the table. He looked up
and scowled when he saw Jason's worried expression.
"Out with it, Jas. Give me the bad news."
Jason spoke the words as fast as he could,
hoping the speed would lessen the impact. "The backhoe scheduled
for today is going to be two days late. There was a problem with
the engine and they don't have the part in stock anywhere
locally."
Garrett took a deep breath and counted to
ten. He could feel his wolf near the surface, but this wasn't
Jason's fault. He had to remember that as he gripped the table,
trying to control his simmering rage. Unfortunately, the table
wasn't sturdy enough to put up with Garrett's strength and he felt
a snap in each fist as chunks of 1/2" plywood broke off in his
hands. The rough wood bit into Garrett's palms and abraded his
skin. The pain actually felt good in a strange way. Of course, due
to being a shifter, the cuts healed before he even had a good look
at them. His wolf was growling in his head and it took all of his
strength keep his claws retracted and his eyes a normal brown.
Jason watched, wide eyed, as Garrett stood
up, dropped the chunks of wood to the floor, and ran his hand
through his hair making it stand up on end. Between that and the
crazy look in Garrett's eyes, Jason found himself slinking out the
door before he could be throttled.
When Garrett saw Jason's reaction, he shook
his body and shifted back on his heels with his hands up in a
placating gesture. "Look Jas, don't worry about it - I'm not going
to throw any punches. I know this isn't your fault. I just can't
believe we can be behind schedule on the first freaking day of the
project." He ran his hand through his hair again and started
pacing.
Jason felt bad for him. He was Garrett's
pack-mate and had been his best friend growing up. Their friendship
took a hit when Garrett chose to push everyone away after Sarah
died. It still hurt him that he lost his best friend to heartbreak,
and hoped one day he'd come around and fully engage in pack
activities again. He had fond memories of them playing chase and
hunt as kids, pranks as teens, and throwing parties as adults. He
knew this was a rough week and he could smell the sadness,
loneliness, and frustration wafting off Garrett. Male wolves always
protected their females. If a wolf died, their mate generally
followed immediately after from grief. The only thing that kept
Garrett from dying was that he loved Sarah, but she wasn't his
Kismet. Most wolves wait to find their Kismet before mating, but
Garrett and Sarah loved each other without it, and decided to defy
fate and become mates anyway.
After pacing for a good five minutes, Garrett
started to feel a bit more settled. He knew his crew was good
enough to bounce back from this delay. They work delays like this
into their overall schedule, nothing ever goes perfectly on a job,
and they have to build in a cushion. He just hoped there wouldn't
be any more this week. Eating up part of the fluff of time on the
first day makes the rest of the job that much harder. "Thanks for
letting me know Jas, we'll work around the schedule a bit to make
up for it. Ask the backhoe operator to take the next couple of days
off and ask him if he'd be willing to work for double-time on the
weekend. Then we can keep the time schedule and we'll worry about
the cost later."
"Sure Garrett, I'll get to work on the
solution right now." Jason turned around and stepped down the
stairs of the trailer, veering for the operator.
Clearly, this was going to be "one of those
weeks" Garrett thought.
I can get through this. I can do it.
I've survived this long and I'll continue to survive. Sarah
wouldn't want me wallowing around in self-pity and
recrimination.
He finished out the day without any other
catastrophes. The operator agreed to the new schedule and Garrett
decided it wasn't as bad as it originally appeared. At the end of
the day, he jumped up in his black Chevy truck and headed home.
His house sat on ten acres, about thirty
minutes north of Vancouver, back in the wooded hills near the
Gifford Pinchot National Forest. The entire pack lived in the area
and used the forest for their full moon runs, which was coming up
on Wednesday, two days away. He still enjoyed the run, but nothing
compared to when Sarah was around. They would chase and play
together on those nights, waking up in each other's arms with the
crisp mountain air and the birds singing overhead. He longed for
those days again; his heart ached with loneliness.
His home was a two-story log cabin with
hardwood floors covered by rugs in a Navajo pattern. The great room
had a vaulted ceiling and windows covered the entire back wall to
highlight the expansive view of the valley. His sofas and chairs
were oversized, burgundy leather. The coffee table, end tables, and
dining table were sturdy and made of logs. A huge stone fireplace
set off one end of the great room, and an open style kitchen graced
the other. Above the kitchen was the master bedroom and bath, with
a balcony overlooking the valley. There was also two spare
guestrooms, office, and a second bath upstairs. He loved this home,
especially since he helped design it. He wound his way through the
haphazard display of tools in his garage and entered through his
mudroom to the kitchen.
He grabbed a beer from the fridge and went
outside to sit on his teak Adirondack chair. He found peace looking
at the scenery and listening to the night sounds. It was February,
so it was full dark by the time he arrived home, but his wolf's
eyes allowed him to see at night almost as well as he could in the
daylight. This was the most painful part of his day. Wolves were
pack animals and didn't necessarily like being alone, but he
couldn't bring himself to go to the parties they threw almost every
night. He was part of the pack and he was always there if someone
needed help, but being around the others always left him feeling
hollow, and he didn't like to feel that way in front of them. He
knew they could smell his pain and it was embarrassing to have his
emotions constantly on display. Besides, it always felt as if he
brought everyone down when he was around; no, he was better off
sitting at his house alone.
His phone rang and he looked at the caller
ID. He sighed as he answered it, "Hey Jessica."
"Hey Garrett, why don't you come down to
Jason's tonight? He has some great steak on the grill and we're
playing darts in the garage."
"Nah, I'm heading to bed early tonight. It
was a long day at the site and I'm beat." He hunched his shoulders
at his lie. Wolves had amazing stamina and he knew she'd see
through it.
Jessica paused for about ten seconds;
disappointed he wasn't willing to let his pack comfort him this
week. "You know you can call Brian and me at anytime, right? I'm
your big sister; I want to be there for you."
"I know and I appreciate it, really, but I
think I'm better off alone right now. I'll talk with you
later."
"OK..." She vacillated whether or not to say
anything, she took a deep breath and jumped in, "Hey Garrett, ya
know, Sonya is coming into town tomorrow for the full moon on
Wednesday. Maybe we can all four go do something tomorrow night.
She'd love to see you; it's been forever since you've seen each
other."
"Yah, that's fine." His mind caught up with
his mouth two seconds too late.
That's fine? Why in the hell did
I say that?
She caught him off guard. He hadn't really been
listening to his sister when he answered the question. He simply
wanted to get off the phone, not inadvertently accept a double
date. Because that was most assuredly what this setup was about.
Jessica's friend, Sonya, was relentless before he had met Sarah,
and he can't imagine anything changing since then.
Jessica was shocked. Did he really agree so
easily? "Great! I'll text the details tomorrow. Bye!” She hung up
as fast as she could before he backed out. She sat there hoping she
wasn't making a big mistake by getting in the middle of this, but
her brother was the most pigheaded man she knew. He needed some
help to get back out there and work on rebuilding his life. He was
only 32 and had a long life ahead of him. One she didn't want to
watch him go alone. Especially since shifters lived to be about 300
years old.
Garrett stared at his phone with his mouth
agape until the light blinked off. "Great, fantastic, now I have to
put up with a double date on the single worst week of the year. Why
couldn't I have been paying attention to the conversation?" he
grumbled. However, he had agreed, and once he agreed to something,
he kept his word. He went to the fridge and grabbed another beer.
He normally wasn't a big drinker, maybe a drink a week, but he had
a feeling this week would be an exception to the rule. He felt an
internal struggle going on which hadn't been there before. He had
been content in his mourning for the last three years, but
something was shifting. Maybe he was starting to feel he did have a
life left, one Sarah would want him to live. He didn't know, but if
he was honest with himself, he didn't want to be so dang lonely
anymore.
The next day went excessively fast. Work at
the site was non-stop and he barely had time to grab a sandwich for
lunch as he was fielding questions, answering vendor calls, and
directing duties. Before he knew it, the clock chimed 4:00. It was
time to stop work and clean up the site for night before it was too
dark. He looked down and noticed a text from Jessica. He had
completely forgotten about his slip-up last night, and he instantly
became anxious to open the message. What would his fate be?
G - We'll meet you at 6:00 at the Roadhouse in
Woodland
Please shower first and don't be late. - love J
He quickly text back:
J - Got it. - G
He put his phone in his pocket and took a
deep breath. "I'll work to have an open mind. I'll do my best to be
nice and friendly," he chanted to himself. He jumped in his truck
and headed home for a shower.
He walked into Roadhouse at 6:05, feeling bad
he was a bit late, but he had spent too long trying to figure out
what to wear. He felt like an idiot, as if it even mattered, but
something in his heart told him he needed to start caring again. He
saw Jessica and Brian sitting in a booth facing him. Jessica was
waving him over and he figured the blonde sitting with her back to
him was Sonya. It'd been a long time since he'd seen her and he was
a bit nervous about it.
As he approached the table, Sonya turned
towards him and gave him a stunning smile. She launched herself out
of the booth and swung her arms around his neck, giving him a huge
hug. He stiffened. No one had really touched him in the last few
years, mainly because he'd been keeping everyone at arm's length.
He saw Jessica's face over Sonya's shoulder and could tell she was
concerned about how he'd take the hug. He awkwardly gave Sonya's
back a pat and said he was glad to see her again too, directing her
back to her seat. He sat down and looked over at her, getting a
good look for the first time. She was beautiful; he'd give her
that. Long blonde hair, tan legs, tight body, and pretty face, but
that was about it. He felt nothing. How can a man get a clingy hug
from a woman that looked like a goddess and feel absolutely
nothing? Because he was broken, that's how.
Jessica studied Garrett throughout the
dinner. They had a pleasant conversation and the dinner was fine,
but she could tell Sonya was a bit too clingy, touching Garrett at
every opportunity and it was starting to get on his nerves. Even
though Garrett stayed polite, Jessica could only imagine the amount
of blood in his mouth from biting his tongue. She could tell he had
about enough, and then Brian and Sonya decided to order dessert.
She hoped he wouldn't blow a gasket before they could pay their
check and leave.
Garrett knew Sonya was oblivious to social
cues. She always had been. Even when they were kids, she was one of
those people who always crossed lines and broke boundaries with the
more dominant pack members. He kept trying to remind himself of
that, because he kept dreaming of using the decorative rope on the
wall as a way to tie her down on the other side of the booth. He
was eager to pay the bill, so when it showed up he had his card out
before the server had a chance to walk away. He offered to pick up
the tab; clearly, Brian wasn't noticing the stressful situation and
would probably take another ten minutes to fish out his wallet.
Sonya turned in her seat and looked at
Garrett, "So Gar, ya wanna go out for a run tonight? I'm feeling
awfully energetic and need to work off all the food we just ate."
She smiled at him with her most enticing smile.
He hated her calling him "Gar". "Ummm, ya
know, I have a long day at work tomorrow and with it being the full
moon run as well, I think I'll just head home for some shut eye.
Thanks for the offer." He hoped he wasn't too hard on her, but
there was no way he was going to be caught anywhere alone with her.
In fact, during dinner he had decided to run with Breck's pack in
Oregon tomorrow night. He knew Sonya would try to get her claws in
him if she could and he didn't want to deal with it this week. He
always spent this month's full moon alone, thinking about Sarah,
and he didn't want the night tainted by Sonya's persistence.
Sonya was disappointed, but she kept her
smile pasted on her face and said, "OK, maybe some other time then.
Thanks for dinner though, it was wonderful to see you again."
He mumbled something about it being nice to
see her again too, and then headed for his truck as if his hair was
on fire. He figured Jessica had brought her here and Jessica could
take her home. As he entered his house, he cracked another beer and
downed it before heading to his lonely bed and wondering if maybe
he was reading his inner turmoil incorrectly. Maybe he wasn't ready
to get out there yet.