Authors: Calvin Wade
LUKE ‘BOFFIN’ BOOTH – August 1986
It must have taken us about an hour to walk up to the canal, but it didn’t seem like it. Colin was a hyperactive kid, but what a laugh! He couldn’t just walk and talk, he had to be up to something. He kept jumping on my back for a piggy back or giving me a piggy back even though I was miles bigger than him. We also played a game where we stood either side of a puddle and kicked water into each other’s faces and the first one to move lost. We were soaked by the time we got to the canal. We sat down under a bridge, out of the rain.
“Why have we come here, Boffin?” Colin asked.
“I come here a lot, Colin. There’re loads of things to do.”
“Like smoking and drinking for starters, mate?”
I had brought a plastic bag with me. I opened it up and there were four cans of Carling Black Label in there along with an opened packet of Benson & Hedges cigarettes with eighteen fags still in there.
“Brill, where did you get them from?” Colin asked excitedly.
“Home, Mum had friends around last night, loads of them and they brought loads of cans of beer and some fags to drink and smoke before they went into town. They took most of the fags with them but someone forget theirs but they left the beer behind as they all came back after the pubs shut. I just nick the odd beer from each pack and stash them away, so no-one ever knows.”
“That’s why I like you, Boffin, you’re smart.”
I took two fags out the gold packet and passed one to Colin, putting the other into my mouth. I had a lighter, so I lit Colin’s first, then my own. Colin inhaled deeply then blew out some perfect smoke rings.
“You look like a proper smoker now, Colin.”
“Do I?”
“Yes, seriously, look at you, blowing smoke rings! Remember last year when you first started smoking, you were coughing and spluttering, but not now. You’ve really got the hang of it now.”
“Do I look cool?”
“You look cooler than cool, Colin.”
“Do you think so?”
“Defo.”
We had a chat whilst we smoked our first fags.
“I’m not happy with my brother today, Boffin.”
“What’s he done?”
“Do you know Nicky Moyes?”
“No.”
“She’s my age. She knows Joey Neill. Anyway, I think Simon loves her. He changes when she turns up anywhere.”
“How?”
“If I try to boss him about, he doesn’t let me, but if Miss La-de-da does, he does everything she asks. He’s gone to the cinema today, he’ll snog her if she asks him to.”
“Good lad!”
“No, it’s not good, Boffin. I hate her.”
“What have they gone to see?”
“Top Gun.”
“I’ve never been to the cinema.”
“Haven’t you? It’s boring anyway, it’s just like a big TV screen and you just have to sit there and watch it, but if you don’t like it, you can’t just switch over, you have to watch it until the end.”
“Colin, I said I’d never been, I didn’t say I didn’t know what one was!”
For about half an hour, we sat and talked and mucked about. We had a can of beer each, but saved two to fizz up and spray at the narrow boats. I pointed out to Colin that they couldn’t turn around quick and come after us if we ran the other way and people didn’t tend to jump off their boats and run after you, because someone had to steer it. This meant most of the time you could do anything daft and get away with it. We started playing dare and took it in turns to do things to the boats or the people on them. Colin pulled a moony at one and I threw a beer can at a man on another. It was all stupid, naughty kids stuff. It went quiet for a while, boats stopped coming past, so we sat down to have another fag.
Halfway through the fag, Colin spotted something.
“There’s someone coming!” Colin pointed out as we saw a woman walking along the embankment, “Do you think she’s a woman off a boat?”
“I’ve no idea, Colin. Get ready to run just in case.”
“Should we leg it anyway? If my Mum found out I’d been drinking and smoking and doing daft stuff to the boats, she’d be really mad with me. Our Simon wouldn’t be happy either.”
“My Mum wouldn’t be bothered,” I said truthfully, “Let’s just hang on a second. It may just be someone walking past.”
We watched as the woman got nearer. As she approached, I realised I knew her. It wasn’t a woman, it was a fifteen year old girl, Kathy Joyce. She was one of those girls who grew really tall when she was about nine or ten and had large breasts by then too. I had always been fascinated by her breasts. She lived on a road by ours and Kathy was as rough and ready as me. We were not exactly boyfriend and girlfriend, but we used to meet up for kissing sessions. After a while, I started getting bored by just kissing, so I’d try my luck with other things. Kathy Joyce didn’t stop me.
“Oh, it’s alright Colin, we can stop here. It’s Kathy Joyce.”
“Who’s Kathy Joyce?” Colin asked.
“She lives down by us. She’s a right goer, Colin.”
“Someone who likes doing kissing and stuff.”
“I hope she isn’t going to kiss me.”
“No, Colin, it’ll be me she’s after. She gave me a fishy finger last week.”
Colin didn’t understand.
“A cold one?”
“Yeh.”
“I wouldn’t like that. My Mum gives me hot fish fingers.”
I burst out laughing.
“What’s so funny, Boffin?”
“You mate. You’re hilarious.”
Kathy Joyce came right up to us and stood looking at down on the two of us smoking, with her hands on her hips. She wasn’t good looking, but with massive breasts like hers, I wasn’t bothered. She was wearing a skirt too, which excited me as I could get my hands underneath.
“I thought you were supposed to be meeting me at the bus station, Luke Booth?” she said, sounding annoyed.
“It was raining, Kathy. I didn’t think you would turn up.”
“Well I did. I felt like a right idiot standing there waiting for you. I thought I’d just try down here before I got a bus home.”
Down by the canal had been a regular petting point for Kathy and me. I smiled at her, my best cheeky smile. The sight of that skirt and those breasts were doing things to me. She never turned me down. I knew it wouldn’t be difficult to win her around.
“I’m sorry, Kathy. I’ll make it up to you. You aren’t going to stay cross with me, are you? I need to see your beautiful smile.”
Colin nudged me with his elbow. He hadn’t heard me speaking like that before. As expected, Kathy did smile.
“Fancy doing a bit of making up, Kathy?”
“OK, but not in front of him.”
Kathy motioned at Colin.
“I understand that. It’s hardly raining now, do you fancy coming around the other side of the bridge?”
“Yeh, ok then.”
“Colin, can you just wait here a minute? Me and Kathy are just going for a bit of slap and tickle.”
“OK,” he said, “don’t be more than a minute though Boffin, I get bored on my own.”
“We may be a bit more than a minute, Colin, just have another fag and chill out.”
Kathy and I went around the other side of the bridge. I made a grab for as soon as we were out of Colin’s sight. We stood up at first, just snogging. Kathy was much taller than me though, so I didn’t like kissing her standing up, it hurt my neck.
“Can we sit down, Kathy? It’ll be more comfortable.”
“Only if you take that baseball cap off. You shouldn’t be kissing me with that on. It’s very rude.”
I took my cap off. Kathy was two years older than me, so liked to be the boss. She was the only person I allowed to boss me, as I liked the returns I got for doing as I was told. Colin must have heard us talking.
“Are you finished now, Boffin? I’m getting bored.”
“Just a bit longer, Colin.”
“How much longer?”
“Just give us a few minutes, will you?
“I’m bored, Boffin. You said one minute.”
“Give me a chance, Colin.”
We carried on kissing once we had sat down. Colin kept on shouting from time to time but I just ignored him. I was doing my usual wandering hands stuff, up her top, then a hand on her knee. I was like incy wincy spider, just progressing up from the knee cautiously. I was making real progress, when Colin appeared at our side of the bridge, looking down at us. I had one hand up Kathy’s top and the other was on her thigh. I didn’t appreciate Colin spying on me like that. It was creepy.
“Bloody hell, Colin! What are you playing at? I told you to wait, didn’t I?”
“And I told you that I’m bored, Boffin. Can she not go now, so we can carry on playing?”
“Just piss off will you Colin and leave us alone.”
“We’re mates, Boffin.”
“Not any more. I told you to wait, Colin and you didn’t. So go on, piss off!”
“We need to walk back together, Colin.”
“No we don’t, Kathy lives by me. I’ll walk back with her.”
“What shall I do then?” Colin’s voice was sounding a little desperate, but I didn’t care.
“Just walk back on your own. Go on, Colin, scram! You’re getting right on my nerves. I’m sick of the sight of you.”
Colin was a feisty little lad. He wasn’t just going to take that from me.
“You’re an idiot, Boffin.”
“Not as much of an idiot as you, Colin. Run back home to your Mum and get your hot fish fingers!”
Colin marched off moodily, pulling a really annoyed face.
“Right, where were we?” I said to Kathy.
We continued kissing. It was exciting. Tongues, boobs, I was wanting to get my hand up between her legs. I liked doing that last time and was aroused by the prospect of doing it again. I had bided my time, made sure Kathy was turned on and from the noises she was making, I knew I had the green light to proceed. Time to make my move.
I was totally focused on the game in hand. So focused I didn’t see Colin creeping back up on us. In an instant, we were absolutely drenched with stinking, dirty canal water. I shook myself like a dog. Kathy was soaked as well, pond plants were dripping off her face. I even think we swallowed some of that scummy water whilst we were kissing open mouthed. I looked up and Colin was there, smiling at us. He had an old plastic bucket in his hand.
“The little shit!” Kathy said angrily. Her white skirt was now full of green patches.
“I’m going to kill you, Colin Strong!” I shouted as I stood up.
Colin just threw the old plastic bucket away and ran off giggling. I chased after him, shouting that I was going to catch him and break his neck. My clothes were sticking to my skin though, which didn’t help in my chase and Colin was a fast kid
anyway. After a couple of minutes, I could see him fading into the distance. The canal isn’t just one long straight, it bends around corners. When I got around one corner, Colin was no longer there. He’d just disappeared. I presumed he’d just run away and keen to keep in Kathy’s good books for next time, I turned around and walked back, vowing to give Colin a good kicking next time I saw him. Kathy was waiting for me when I got back to the bridge, looking like some creature from the swamps.
“Did you catch the little shit?” she asked.
“No, but I will, Kathy and when I do, I’m going to kill him.”
SIMON – May 2012
Tim and I listened to Boffin’s story. He had told it well. I found myself believing the majority of what he had said. There was so much detail that just seemed to be extra pieces of the jigsaw. Pieces we had waited twenty five years to find.
“So that’s it?” I said, “You just chased him and he disappeared?”
“Yes. I just thought he was too fast and had gone further along the embankment.”
“What did you do when you got back to Kathy?”
“We went home.”
“Leaving Colin to drown.”
“I didn’t know he’d fallen in, Simon. I thought he’d just run away.”
“If Colin had fallen in, do you not think he would have shouted for help?” I asked, Boffin’s story was plausible but it did seem to have some flaws in it.
“I don’t know why he didn’t. Maybe he hit his head or something. I wasn’t expecting him to be in the canal. I didn’t worry about him until hours later when I found out he hadn’t gone home. I was really worried then, both about Colin and also about how much trouble I was going to be in, so I just said I hadn’t seen him and stuck to my story.”
“Until now.”
“Yes.”
Part of me wanted to believe him. There was no reason for this story to have come out. Boffin could have just carried on with the same denials he had maintained ever since Colin died. He didn’t need to have come on the Stag Do. He had pursued me to tell his story. Maybe it was the truth or maybe it was just what he had brainwashed himself into believing.
“What about Kathy?” I asked.
“What about her?”
“You ran off after Colin, saying you were going to kill him, then came back and went home with her. Once she found out that Colin had died, why did she not come forward and say she had been with you and Colin?”
“She was scared. I went round to her house when he was still missing and said that if she breathed a word of this to anyone, we would both end up in some sort of young offenders unit. She was in a right state, but I said if it just turned out that Colin had drowned, like we thought, then the whole thing would blow over. I told her there was no point us dragging ourselves into it, in case the police didn’t believe us.”
“Do you know if she ever went to the police?”
“No. Some people did, as the coppers kept calling round at our house, asking more and more questions, but I don’t think Kathy ever did. I think if she had been to the see the coppers, I’d have been in bigger trouble than I ever was.”
Tim spoke for the first time in a while.
“Boffin, if that’s what happened, then why did you not just tell the truth to the police?”
“The police hated our family, Timmy. My Mum was always in trouble and me and my brothers weren’t in their good books either. We nicked things, wound the neighbours up, smashed stuff and got into fights. We were bad kids. The police hated us and we hated them. I thought if I told them I’d been down by the canal and gone chasing after Colin saying I was going to kill him, then they would think I pushed him in. I’d be banged up before I had time to blink. It felt safer to deny everything.”
I stood up and as a consequence Tim stood up to.
“Come on, let’s get to bed,” I said.
Boffin followed our lead and stood up too.
“Do you believe me, Simon?” he wanted to know, “It’d mean a lot to me if you said you believed me.”
“I’m not sure, Boffin.”
“It’s the God’s honest truth, Simon. I didn’t have to tell you. I wanted to.”
“Boffin, if that is the truth, you still played a big part in Colin dying. You took him to the canal. You gave him beer. You left him on his own. You chased after him. Colin would still be alive today if it wasn’t for you.”
“I know. Can you forgive me or even just shake my hand to let me know the hatred you felt isn’t as deep any more?”
I was tempted to. He was right, I didn’t hate him as much as I did, but it was natural for me to still have doubts.
“Not yet. If you go to the police, then I’ll shake your hand.”
“I will. I have spoken to Emily about this. I just needed to speak to you before them.”
We all started heading towards the main road. It seemed stranger walking along with Boffin than it did being handcuffed to a goblin.
“What happened to Kathy Joyce?” I asked as we walked along.
“I don’t know,” Boffin answered, “She had a kid the following year, but it wasn’t mine. She never let me touch her again after the canal incident. I think she’s still around Chorley somewhere.”
“Do you think she might come forward to the police, if you do?”
“Hopefully.”
All three of us waited at a bus stop together, but eventually we flagged down a taxi. Before we got in, the stun gun and the Stanley knife were put in a bin. The taxi took us to The Cheshire first. I went to pass Boffin some money but he shook his head.
“Thanks,” I said as I got out.
I guess I wasn’t just thanking him for the taxi. I was thanking him for finally setting the record straight. I hoped that was the truth. It wouldn’t stop me blaming Boffin for Colin’s death, but at least the hatred I had carried for twenty five years did feel like it was subsiding. As Tim and I were going to the front door of The Cheshire, Joey Neill was coming out.
“Are you two just coming in now? It’s seven o’clock lads!”
“Yeh,” said Tim, “it’s been an eventful night. What have you been doing in our B&B?”
Working the magic, mate!”
Joey winked at us.
“What happened to your face, Joey?” I asked.
Joey had no idea.
“What do you mean?”
“Have a look at your face in the mirror, mate!”
“Why?”
“It’s gone blue!”