Authors: Shari Anton
“The mother is fascinating all on her own, believe me.”
“You take on a full family should you marry her. You will lose more of the freedom you cherish so highly than you would if you married Carolyn. Can you do right by them all?”
Stephen thought back on the first time he’d seen the twins, at the stone wall at the hut and remembered thinking that their father would need his wits about him as the girls grew up. Now he was the father who must guard the girls against knaves like their own father. He might even feel some sympathy for Hugo de Lacy if the man hadn’t threatened to show his daughter the gate. Stephen couldn’t imagine what might prompt him to such harsh measures with Audra and Lyssa.
And Marian? If all worked out, maybe he could make up the lost years to her, bring her lifelong joy. Mayhap even teach her to have some fun again. She certainly deserved it after all she’d put up with since he all but abandoned her. If only Carolyn hadn’t interfered, Marian might well have broken down and told her father the truth.
Would he have made her a good husband then or, as Marian suggested, balked at a forced marriage and made her life miserable?
Put the past behind, begin again
.
“I intend to make a good life for all of us. First, however, I must ensure Carolyn suffers no hardship or embarrassment. I would prefer she set me free, not me disavow her.”
“Your plan is flawed. I doubt Carolyn will allow me her bed.”
“You have more of an advantage than you know. Marian also told me Carolyn loves you. She refuses you her bed because she fears you will succumb in the same manner as her husbands. She is not disinterested, only afraid.”
“Nothing wrong with my heart, or the rest of me, either.”
“I do not doubt you. Now convince Carolyn.”
Edwin swirled his ale. “You mentioned a soft bed.”
Stephen nearly shouted for joy at this first battle won, but knew the war only begun.
“Carolyn is attending our family gathering tonight. When done, I will deliver her to my chamber, telling her to leave the bolt undone. Then I will come fetch you. By the time you arrive, she ought to be disrobed and in bed.”
“Ha! She will be waiting for you and get me. The woman will not be pleased.”
“Did I not tell you the woman may be hard to please?”
“I will not force her, Stephen.”
“The idea is to seduce her.” Stephen thought of his latest encounter with Marian. “Mayhap instead of talking you should drop your breeches and show her what you have to offer. Insist she listen to the steady beat of your heart. How can the woman resist?”
Edwin raised an eyebrow. “We are speaking of Carolyn.”
“We are also speaking of a woman in love. Where do I fetch you?”
Edwin nodded toward the hearth. “I have been sleeping on a pallet over there.”
“Then we trade beds. Make good use of mine, Edwin. And do try to live through the night.”
Several hours later, Stephen stood outside his chamber door, heard the bolt slide behind Edwin. The only bit of conversation he heard clearly was Carolyn’s gasped, “What are you doing here?”
The two of them were talking now, but the thick oak door muffled the words. No sense standing out here in the passageway. He should go downstairs to Edwin’s pallet and get some sleep. Morn would come soon enough, and then he’d have his answer.
Except his feet wouldn’t move.
He looked up and down the passageway. All the doors were closed, everyone gone to bed. His part was done and there was nothing more to do than wait and worry over Edwin’s success, or lack of it.
He put his ear to the door. Still talking.
Get into the bed, Edwin!
Stephen leaned against the wall and gave a brief thought to slipping out the gate and going to Marian, then dismissed the idea, tempting as it was. ’Twas far too late to be wandering about outside the walls. Marian was probably asleep. The girls, too. He doubted he could wake Marian without waking the twins.
Best to go down into the hall and stretch out on a pallet.
Stephen put his ear back to the door. Silence. Carolyn hadn’t screamed. Edwin hadn’t come flying out of the room in a rage. All good signs.
He forced his feet to tread the passageway, taking care to do so quietly so his footsteps wouldn’t echo and give his uncouth behavior away. Not that Edwin or Carolyn
were likely to hear if they were engaged in what Stephen hoped was a rousing, convincing bout of bed play.
After easing his way down the stairs, he sought out the pallet and lowered onto it, rather envying Edwin. Gads, all the man had to do was live through the night to prove his good health and stamina to Carolyn. Edwin loved Carolyn. All he had to do was tell her, and live, and she’d believe him.
Not so with Marian. No amount of sex, no matter how satisfying, proved his love for her. The two of them had engaged in bed play six years ago, then he’d left her alone, carrying and without support. Marian recognized a good tumble, knew the difference between lust and love, that words were merely words.
So how to prove to her that he loved her now? That he was willing to try to be the responsible, steady man she needed?
How to wipe away six years of neglect? She might be willing to forgive him but might never forget, might not ever trust him fully. Being a good father to Audra and Lyssa would aid his cause. Tomorrow, without fail, he’d claim his daughters, begin to provide for them. Little silk gowns. A keep built of stone. Meat for their meals. Frog hunts. Their birthright—which also included the right to know their mother’s family.
He needed to make things right with Marian’s father. She must miss her parents and siblings. Surely, mending the breach between Marian and her family would prove his willingness to take his responsibilities seriously.
But would either prove his love or gain her trust?
Somehow he’d do both, if it took him six years or a lifetime. He just wished he knew how.
T
he bailey smelled of heaven.
Marian guided Audra and Lyssa past the huge roasting pits where beef, venison and pork turned slowly on spits tended by broad-shouldered lads. From the bake ovens wafted the aroma of rounds of bread. Huge cauldrons contained soup, bubbling out the aroma of wild onion.
The twins had never seen the like of preparations for so large a gathering. Marian allowed them to gawk and answered their endless questions, but kept them moving toward the keep.
The girls had slept well and partaken of a light meal of bread and cheese. Marian knew they’d behave and mind their manners. Not having slept much, she was far less sure of her own ability to face whatever awaited her in the hall.
She’d tossed most of the night, wishing Stephen were beside her so she knew where he spent the night. She’d bounced between anger over his faithlessness and guilt over her mistrust.
Near the stairway, she let go of the girls’ hands. They scampered up the stairs while she followed at a more
sedate pace, holding up fistfuls of amber silk so she didn’t trip on the hem.
Most of the guests were already gathered in the hall, garbed in the finest of their finery. The amber gown Stephen had given her suited Marian’s rank, not so high as most but hardly as low as the serving wenches who scurried about in rough-weave. Marian inwardly winced at the thought of her old gown, hoping Stephen truly had burned it.
“I began to wonder if I must come out to wake you.” Stephen’s low voice drifted to her, his hand landing on her shoulder as he took his place at her side.
She took comfort in his immediate presence, that he’d watched for her arrival. “We lingered in the bailey overlong.”
Audra swung her arms around in an exaggerated stirring motion. “We watched the girls make soup!”
Stephen raised an amused eyebrow. “Did you?”
“Uh-huh,” Lyssa replied. “And the cow go round and round and round.”
“Sounds as if you two are well-rested and ready for a full day. And you, Marian?”
She should say “Fine” and let it go at that. “I tossed a bit last night.”
He chuckled. “So did I. I have not slept on a pallet on a cold, stone floor for some time.” He leaned toward her, his warm breath teasing her ear. “Had I known you were restless, I would have given in to the temptation to visit.”
Those few words brightened her mood as several hours of solid sleep couldn’t have done.
“I might even have allowed you the visit.”
He squeezed her shoulder. “Nice to know,” he said, then removed his hand and turned his attention to the
girls, gazing at his daughters with pride in his eyes. His entire manner with the twins fair screamed his love for his daughters.
Unable to watch them converse without tears forming, Marian looked about for Carolyn, but waited until Stephen and the girls finished their talk before asking after her.
Stephen glanced toward the stairway leading up to the family chambers. “I assume Edwin not only lived through the night, but Carolyn is ensuring his good health yet this morn.”
Marian’s jaw dropped as the implication set in.
“Edwin and Carolyn? You jest!”
He shook his head. “Nay. ’Struth, if they do not vacate my chamber soon, I will have to disturb them. I need to change…Ah, here they come now.”
The smile on Carolyn’s face lighted up the room.
“’Tis hard to believe. I have been trying to get Carolyn to…you know…for months.”
“I must confess I gave Edwin an advantage. Once he knew her fears he was able to deal with them.”
Her ire sparked. “You told him what I told you.”
“Someone should have told him long ago. All the secrets did was keep them apart. Now look at them.”
Marian couldn’t disagree. Carolyn, her hand slipped though the crook of Edwin’s arm, looked so happy as to burst. Was it her imagination or did Edwin appear taller, more self-assured?
“I need change my tunic,” Stephen said. “Be back anon.”
He strode across the room, collected a hug from Carolyn along the way, then disappeared up the stairway.
Marian put a hand to her midriff, her heart beating so hard it threatened to bruise her ribs. Edwin had gained
Carolyn’s bed and obtained her surrender. Had he also claimed the prize he most sought? Was Stephen now free?
“Come girls, make your greetings to Carolyn and Edwin. Show them how lovely you look.”
The girls loved their new gowns so needed no more prompting. They even walked sedately and curtsied prettily. While Carolyn, garbed in the gown she’d worn yesterday and now a bit rumpled, exclaimed over the girls, Edwin grasped Marian’s hand and kissed it lightly. Carolyn gave her a more effusive greeting. Caught up in a hug, Marian couldn’t resist prompting Carolyn to reveal more.
“Does this mean what I hope it does?”
Carolyn came away with a blush. “So I too hope. We will talk more later, in private.”
Marian was sure her curiosity would drive her witless before they had a chance to be private. But ’twas a telling sign that Carolyn wasn’t rushing off to change her gown, as if not caring anymore what impression she made on Stephen’s family, or anyone else for that matter. Not like Carolyn at all!
Stephen came down the stairs looking every bit the highborn noble as he had when arriving at Branwick, garbed in black from head to toe. A scarlet sherte peeked out from the beneath the neckline and sleeves of his silk tunic. Silver threads glittered along the trim like stars shining at midnight. A silver circlet banded his head in an effort to hold captive his raven hair. He looked splendid, and if fate proved kind, he was hers.
“Gerard and Ardith are nearly ready to come down.” He held out his hand. “Shall we?”
Stephen meant to take her up front, to stand beside him amidst his family, thus making an announcement to
the high nobility of England that contradicted everything they’d already assumed. Her heart skipped several beats as she slipped her hand into his.
Audra pointed to the stairs. “Look, Mama! The babe is wrapped in the blanket you made!”
Stephen squeezed her hand. “I gave the blanket to Ardith and Gerard this morn. I knew they would love it beyond reason.”
Ardith had arranged the blanket so a portion of it draped over her arm. Marian stared at the lion cubs cavorting over the fine weave wool, nearly overwhelmed that everything could come together in one place at one time—her dreams come true.
Too easy. Too fast. And it scared her witless.
Stephen kept Marian and the girls at his side throughout the ceremony and feast. Afterward, he introduced her to Corwin and Judith, and made the rounds of family and guests as was expected of the baron’s brother on such an occasion. If anyone in the hall misunderstood his message about who he intended to marry, then they’d gone witless. If anyone thought him a knave for the sudden switch in brides, they need only note Carolyn’s arm linked through Edwin’s and see the joy in her eyes to know that the lady was in no distress.
As for his daughters, he picked them up and hugged them often, inviting all to notice their raven hair and olive-toned skin that matched his. To banish any lingering doubt, when in midafternoon the nursemaid collected Gerard and Richard’s boys to go upstairs for a nap, he sent the girls along, too.
To all Marian was polite. Her smile warm and her manner gracious. Was he the only one who felt the shimmer of unease that lay beneath the surface of Marian’s
smile, who saw the hint of something amiss in the depths of her eyes?
Not even Edwin and Carolyn’s private and quiet confirmation that they planned to wed as soon as they returned to Branwick seemed to banish Marian’s disquiet.
He was sore tempted to whisk Marian upstairs to his chamber for a nap of their own. ’Twasn’t possible, so he settled for guiding her toward the far end of the hall where he’d had his talk with Edwin last eve.
She rubbed her eyes with the heel of her hands. “Dear me. I had forgotten how wearing these festivities can be on both body and mind. I doubt I will remember the names of all of the people you presented to me.”
Was that the problem? Was she merely weary?
“They will remember you, which is all that matters.”
“I will do better…next time.” She gave him a soft smile. “Carolyn and Edwin seem happy, do they not? You will have to tell me how their ending up together in your chamber came about.”
He bobbed his head. “’Twasn’t terribly hard, though I did need to convince Edwin to take a risk. Again, I apologize for taking liberties with your confidences.”
She reached up to rearrange the ties on his sherte, a fussy, kind of wifely thing to do. He rather liked it.
“In this case, you are forgiven,” she said. “Once Carolyn’s fears reached the right ears, then they could be dealt with openly. I wish I had possessed the wisdom, and maybe the courage, to reveal them to Edwin myself.”
“You were being loyal to Carolyn, is all. I, on the other hand, felt no compulsion, not when it stood between us.”
“Us.”
The word came out soft and reverent. “’Tis
strange, is it not, that we are again lovers after all this time?”
“Oh, more than lovers I would say.”
Her smile widened. “Parents of twins.”
Of two adorable daughters who now slept upstairs and still didn’t know he’d sired them. Soon, now, they’d wake, and then he’d wrap them in his arms and call them his own. ’Twas both exciting and unnerving, wondering over their reaction.
“And perhaps parents again if our union proves as quickly fruitful as last time.”
“Perhaps. After we are…married we can further the cause.”
Stephen caught the hesitation. She’d done so twice now, both times when speaking of future events. Why should she be unsure of the future? Was Marian the only person in the hall who still harbored doubts over her place in his life?
Was that what she needed, to hear the words? If ’twould take the hint of doubt from her eyes he’d gladly say them.
“After we are married, I may keep you tied to a bed until ensured our cause furthered.”
She laughed lightly. “No need for restraints, my lord. ’Twill truly be my pleasure to suffer your husbandly attentions.”
He gathered her in his arms, wishing they could stand on the steps of Wilmont’s chapel, say the words and be done with it. Marian deserved better, however. She deserved all of the excitement and attention due a bride of noble birth. The gifts. The feasting and good wishes of friends and guests. To have her family gathered around her. For Marian to have a proper wedding, they needed her father’s blessing.
He’d go to Murwaithe and face Hugo de Lacy, but wouldn’t mention his plan now. Today was for celebrating, and he wanted Marian to smile, not worry over what might be a strained meeting with her father. So, what to do to bring joy to Marian’s heart?
“Do you think the girls might be awake?” he asked.
“’Struth, with all the excitement, I will be surprised if they slept at all.”
“Then let us go tell them. My patience is at its end.”
Marian nodded her agreement. He grasped her hand and headed for the stairway that wound up to the family quarters. He’d have run up the steps if his knees didn’t begin to tremble, if his heart didn’t pound so hard.
Mercy, he was a battle-hardened soldier, had faced horror and death with less trepidation than facing two little tykes. His tykes. Would they be happy to learn he was their father? Or horrified? Or not care? What if they rejected him?
He paused at the top of the stairs. “What if they do not want me?”
Marian’s smile eased his mind. “They will. The girls will be surprised, and possibly angry with me for keeping you a secret. Fortunately, young children tend to forgive those they love easily.”
True enough. The girls’ youth worked in his favor. They’d forgive both him and Marian for past mistakes if from this day forward their parents loved and cared for them. He had only to look as far as his own willingness, as a child, to forgive his mother’s neglect of him if only she’d uttered a kind word, found some quality in him worthy of her time and affection. He’d been much older than the girls were now when he’d given up hope.
“Which one of us tells them?”
Marian sighed. “I do. ’Tis best the girls hear the tale
from me, I think. I would also prefer to do the telling without other ears around to hear. The tent, mayhap?”
“My chamber is closer. We will take them there.”
Stephen took the few steps to the children’s room and opened the door to the sound of young voices. Not only were his daughters awake, but in the midst of a game with his nephews. His apprehension subsided when the girls looked up, smiled, and ran toward him. Everything would be all right. It had to be.
“Did you have a good nap?” Marian asked, the cheer in her voice somewhat forced. The girls seemed not to notice.
“We slept—a little,” Audra offered.
“’Tis more than I hoped for. Come,” she said, herding them toward the door. “Stephen and I wish to have a talk with you.”
Stephen led them down the hall to his chamber. As he closed the door, Marian lifted the girls up onto the bed and sat down between them.
Lyssa ran a hand over the wolf coverlet. “Oh, this is soft. Is this your chamber?”
“It is,” he answered, noting the slight flush on Marian’s cheeks. Because she realized she sat on his bed? Or was she thinking, as he did, about how soft and caressing the fur would feel against bare skin.
Now wasn’t the time for erotic thoughts, but the vision of Marian sprawled naked on a wolf fur burst forth in carnal splendor.
Tonight, Marian
. Tonight, he promised himself, she’d share his bed, writhe on his furs, become his wife in all ways but the utterance of the words.
She took a composing breath and wrapped her arms around the girls. “I have what I believe will be good news for you.”
Marian glanced up at him, and he hoped she found the reassurance she sought. Certes, he admired her courage and composure considering what she was about to do.
“I know this will come as a surprise,” she continued. “Indeed, I never thought I would be telling you this, but…well, a long time ago I made a grave misjudgment, and because of it I deprived you of your birthright and…your father.”