Knowing Me Knowing You (26 page)

‘
Aunt
ie
Jess made a pass at one of your boyfriends?
’
Joel exclaimed.

‘
No, at Matthew
-
or the other way round probably. It was the one and only time she came to stay; I caught them in the kitchen in an embrace, red
-
faced and trying to distract my attention by picking up scattered pretzels. But I knew what had happened; I knew
how the pretzels got scattered.’

‘
I see.
’

‘
She’s my only relative, I asked her for a loan recently and she was more than happy to oblige. She still feels guilty for exchanging tongu
es with my husband -
never thought that situation would work to my advantage.
’

‘
I see.
’

‘
Mione
doesn’t know
,
it’s not something I’ve ever broadcast.
’

‘
I see.
’

‘
Stop saying that, you don’t see, you must think I have
“
mug
”
printed on my forehead. I forgave him so many things, so many and in the end it was all for nothing,
’
Kate exclaimed loudly.

‘
It wasn’t all for nothing, you have
Bethan
,
’
Joel reminded.

‘
I hope
Mione
didn’t think I was rude, she’d gone to so much trouble tonight.
’

‘
I think
Mione
would be mortified if she thought one of her questions had made you feel like this,
’
Joel replied.

‘
I’m an idiot; it was just a game, a silly question we were practising for an even sillier TV show. It isn’t real.
’

‘
My answers were real, there’s no point pretending if we want to win.
’

‘
Even the question about me having put on weight?
’

‘
Yes, although if there had been an option suggesting cutting down on the microwave meals I might have chosen that.
’

‘
Oh Joel, you must wonder how on earth you got involved in all this. Another Friday night and it might have been Stephen in your place,
’
Kate said with half a smile.

‘
I wouldn’t change things now, especially not when Hermione has promised to read my runes,
’
Joel informed her.

‘
Oh God, we’re truly doomed, she won’t stop at that. She’ll be plotting your astrological chart and getting her crystal ball out.
’

‘
Perhaps she’ll see us taking the title of
Knowing Me Knowing You
.
’

‘
Or failing at the next round.
’

‘
We’re not going to fail; I think someone needs to work their negativity out of them.
’

‘
Well I’ll have to work on that before next week. Next week! I can’t believe we’re going on stage again next week!
’
Kate exclaimed.

‘
And how’s your talent shaping up? Have you had much chance to practi
s
e?
’

‘
Talent?
’

‘
Yeah, it said about it in the rules you gave me a copy of, couples in the next stage need to have a talent to show the audience.
’

‘
I didn’t read that! I can’t do that
!
I don’t have a talent, what sort of talent? Like juggling or something? This is insane; I had no idea, why didn’t you mention it before?
’
Kate spoke wildly.

‘
I just presumed you knew.
’

‘
Well what’s your talent?
’

‘
I play guitar a bit. I was going to do that.
’

‘
Oh great, yeah, you’re going to just whip up a song and play the guitar, while I what? Shake a tambourine in the background? That will impress people.
’

‘
Do you sing?
’

‘
Only when I’m drunk and then it’s really bad. Like someone’s reaction to having
boiling water poured over them.’

‘
Well you have a week to think of something.
’

‘
Think of something, practi
s
e it and perfect it while trying to maintain my child/life/work balance.
’

‘
I could bring a tambourine along just in case,
’
Joel suggested.

‘
Don’t you
dare.
’

‘
Think of a talent,
’
Kate spoke as she passed
Lynn
by the filing cabinet and hurried over to her desk.

‘
What?
’
Lynn
queried.

‘
Sshh
, come here,
’
Kate beckoned as she turned on her computer and started to go through her in tray.

‘
What’s all the whispering for?
’
Lynn
asked in a whisper.

‘
I
don’t want Lady Dragon to hear.
I’ve got a client in ten minutes and I should be reviewing the file but this is important. I nee
d a talent, by the end of today.
S
omething I can learn, something I can perform on stage at this
Knowing Me Knowing You
thing,
’
Kate continued, opening a file and sitting down.

‘
Like fire eating?
Or sword swallowing?
Now that would be really cool,
’
Lynn
remarked with a grin.

‘
I was hoping for something that wouldn’t kill me and something I can learn quickly,
’
Kate replied.

‘
Ooo
I know just the thing. Burlesque!
’
Lynn
exclaimed excitedly.

‘
What?
’

‘
Burlesque, you must have heard of it.
’

‘
I have no idea what you’re talking about.
’

‘
Well basically, you dress up in a raunchy yet tasteful costume, like a corset and gloves and those dresses with the ruffles at the back and it’s kind of a striptease but in good taste,
’
Lynn attempted to explain.

‘
A striptease in good taste.
Is that possible?
’
Kate
asked
.

‘
Yes, it’s more about suggestion rather than anything sl
eazy. My friend Melanie does it.
I can ask her for a costume, yes, that’s definitely what you should do
.
I
t would be great
-
we’re coming by the way
-
to the show
-
me and Darren,
’
Lynn
added.

‘
Oh you don’t have to do that.
’

‘
I can’t wait; we haven’t had a proper night out in ages. Right, well I’ll phone Melanie about the costume and you can look up burlesque on the internet
.
Google
Dita
Von
Teese
or Christina Aguilera, she’s got some film coming out.
’

‘
You’re talking in riddles,
’
Kate exclaimed as
Lynn
disappeared towards the door.

‘
Mr Watkins will be here in seconds,
’
Lynn
called.

‘
Kate, do you have a moment?
’

Kate hadn’t noticed Miranda arrive at her shoulder. She looked sombre faced and was in the little black suit she usually reserved for funerals and meeting the bereaved for the initial meeting. If she was wearing it for any other reason it usually meant bad news.

‘
Well, Mr Watkins is due in any minute and
…
’
Kate started.

‘
I hear Colin has suggested you take the legal practice course to gain your solicitor’s qualification,
’
Miranda continued.

‘
Yes,
’
Kate answered with a swallow.

‘
And how do you feel about that?
’

‘
Well, I haven’t really had a chance to think about it.
’

‘
No, I suppose not, what with a child and everything to worry about. It’s a big decision and an enormous responsibility taking on more studying isn’t it?
’

‘
Yes, it is,
’
Kate responded.

She knew exactly what Miranda’s game was. She had to be really floundering to launch a one on one attack.

‘
Reading
through all those text books until the small hours, burning the midnight oil, no time for anything else,
’
Miranda continued.

She sounded so desperate.

‘
As I said, I haven’t had time to think about it yet.
’

It might be fun to keep her hanging, not give any clue as to her feelings about the offer one way or the other. Seeing as she’d been trying to discredit her in the office and to her clients the cow deserved to sweat.

‘
No, of course
.
W
ell, I wasn’t trying to put you off. I just thought you should know that it isn’t all pass an exam and get a fancy title, there’s a lot of hard work that has to go into it,
’
Miranda responded quickly, flicking her mane of hair back.

‘
I realise that,
’
Kate spoke, staring at her hairline and squinting her eyes to try and study it more closely.

‘
Perfect
,
g
ood.
Well, don’t keep Mr Watkins waiting,
’
Miranda spoke, preparing to depart back to her office.

‘
I won’t. And thanks Miranda for your advice, it’s really appreciated. I hope you’re coming to
Knowing Me Knowing You
, I know Joel was looking forward to seeing you again,
’
Kate spoke with a ‘life is wonderful I’m getting on without him’ smile.

‘
Of course I’ll be there, in fact Andrew Kent is taking me,
’
Miranda said
a smug smile spreading over her perfectly made-up face.

‘
Perfect,
’
Kate replied, clutching the Watkins file to her chest.

Miranda tossed her blonde hair high over her shoulder and teetered back to her room, closing the door behind her.

Kate let out a sigh. The silly tart was obviously pissed off Colin had made the offer. She didn’t know what she wanted to do. It would mean a lot of study, attention away from
Bethan
, but it would also mean more money and more status within the firm. She would be on an equal footing with Miranda. And then, if she was offered partnership she would be stepping over the Lady Dragon entirely. She didn’t know how that would work though, what with Miranda being the head of department, perhaps she would have to move departments. Did she want to do
that? And it was more responsibility, there would be no margin for error, she would have to be on top of her game. Was that what she wanted? Sometimes her head felt like it was going to explode when she was getting into the technicalities of inheritance tax
.
D
id she really want that feeling every day?

Her phone rang and Ruby announced the arrival of Mr Watkins. From what Kate remembered from the last time she met him, he had a full-length beard and breath that smelt of pickled onions. If it was the same case today he would have to be over and done within five chargeable units.