Authors: Margie Church
Tags: #M/M Erotic Romance, #gay romance, #m/m, #Margie Church, #Krewe, #suspense novels, #gay novels, #Krewe Daddy, #erotic m/m, #contemporary m/m romance, #police drama, #New Orleans stories, #police stories, #cross dressers, #transvestites, #gay suspense, #contemporary erotic m/m, #Daddy, #contemporary gay romance, #erotic gay romance, #erotic m/m romance, #men in uniform
His thoughts turned to Luis. Once upon a time, Drew imagined they'd have the fairytale ending. He took solace in knowing his own folly brought his two best friends together.
But where does that leave me?
His on-again, off-again relationship with Kyle seemed more about the sex than anything else. Drew didn't even know whether Kyle was really interested in being exclusive. Kyle cared about him, of that Drew was certain.
Except being with Kyle feels like settling. I want more.
The truth left a bitter taste in his mouth.
Approaching footsteps got Drew's attention. He glimpsed Teak as he walked out of the light.
"Drew, is that you down there?"
Teak's slight Texas drawl was a velvet caress on Drew's ear.
"I'm here."
Teak walked up, concern written on his face. "Why are you out here alone?"
"I had some things on my mind."
"Are you upset about me and Kevin?"
Drew gripped Teak's shoulders. "Hell, no. I couldn't be happier."
"Are you feeling okay? I know you got beat up pretty—"
"I saw Luis the other day."
Teak sucked in his breath. "That must have been a huge shock."
"I had no idea he lived in New Orleans. We've been in the same city for two years. He knew I was working for Kevin. We could have straightened out this mess."
Drew looked at Teak, the ghost of his unending pain haunting him once more. Drew's throat seemed to squeeze shut. He paused long enough to get a grip on the rollercoaster of emotions running through him. He was glad Teak had the grace to keep silent until he could talk again. "Why didn't Luis find me?"
"Only Luis can answer that. Did he seem happy to see you?"
"He poked fun at my date. I wanted to cold-cock that snotty bastard. I am so sick of his mouth and his holier-than-thou attitude. He hasn't changed. Oh, and he was with a tranny. A good-looking one, but why he's gone that route, I have no clue." Drew studied Teak, his eyes unreadable in the dark. Always the voice of reason, if anyone could talk somebody off a wall, Teak could. Drew needed that tonight.
Teak broke the silence with a simple observation. "Maybe he's just as lost as you."
Drew was grateful for the darkness cloaking his tear-rimmed eyes.
"Maybe. We haven't seen each other or talked in six years. Did he have to be such an ass? I can't shake him. I'm dating a great guy now, but my heart, my real heart, isn't in it." Drew pounded the wooden porch post, eliciting a hollow thump. "Fucking Luis still has me in his grip."
"From what I recall, the last time you saw him you were arguing over me."
Drew nodded.
"Why didn't you let things cool down a bit, and then go back to work things out?
You were obviously still in love with him, but you ran across the country. Did you think he'd come after you to beg forgiveness?"
"Sorta. He owed me an apology for treating me like an afterthought. Every time somebody wagged their dick near his ego, he sucked it. Fuck that. I don't deserve to be treated that way."
"But you had no proof he was cheating on you, yet you had revenge sex with me, and didn't tell me about Luis until after I'd followed you to Wescott."
Drew's temper rose. "Do you need to remind me?"
"Obviously I do, because you haven't forgiven yourself for making a bunch of really bad mistakes. Plus, you still haven't manned up and gone to Luis to apologize. I mean sincerely apologize."
"He acted like that would be the last thing he wanted."
"Where did you meet?"
Drew relayed the scenario from Tanners.
"I don't know about you, but I'm not always at my finest when somebody drops an emotional bomb on me. He reacted like a cad, and so did you. Surprise, surprise.
You left each other shouting, you met each other arguing. Seriously, Drew, the guy has always sounded like poison to me, but you have a thing for him. Do you want my advice?"
"Seems I'm gonna get it whether I want to or not."
"You know I care about you. I still tease Kevin about having a threesome."
Drew snorted.
"Find Luis. Lay your cards on the table, one last time. If he doesn't show his hand, walk away. At least you've cleared the air. Some shit always hurts. Kevin still feels terrible about Chiyo. And I still sorta hate you for dragging me all the way to that godforsaken iceberg called Minnesota, and getting stranded there for years." He smirked after that last remark, then his expression changed to utter seriousness. "Settle things with Luis, once and for all, so you can find the love you're looking for."
Drew rubbed his face, weary from the emotional weight of this conversation.
"I hate dredging up the past, and I can't let go of it, either." Feeling like a man being led to the gallows, Drew looked at Teak. "I know you're right, but I don't know if I've got the courage to lay my heart out for him to fillet again."
Teak took a deep breath.
"I wouldn't look forward to it, especially if your reunion went as rough as you described. On the other hand, I don’t know if I'd have the courage to spend my entire life alone, in love with somebody who didn't love me back." Teak put his hand on Drew's shoulder and looked him straight in the eyes. "Unrequited love seems like a huge waste of a great guy."
Teak pulled Drew into a warm embrace.
His heart hammered while he held on for dear life, soaking up all the strength and support Teak was offering. "I love you, you know that, right?"
"Yeah. Maybe you could convince Kevin to have a threesome for our bachelors'
party."
Silent laughter racked Drew's body. "He might leave you if he gets a taste of me."
Teak roared with laughter. "He's too addicted."
Drew took Teak's face in his hands. "That’s the way it ought to be." He pressed a gentle kiss on Teak's lips. "Be happy."
"You, too."
"Thanks for listening to the 'never-ending saga of Luis.' Again."
"I figured if I didn't, you might back out of the best man duties or give us a fruit-of-the-month club membership for a wedding gift."
Smiling, Drew snapped his fingers. "Damn! You know me so well."
Teak's voice became soft and serious again. "I do, and I know you want a love like Kevin and I have. Get things squared with Luis so you can have that."
* * * * *
Early the next morning, Drew, Teak, Blair, Kevin, and Sapphire stood next to an old lean-to on the open plain. Two crew hands from the ranch managed the horses needed for the photo session. The sun streaked the sky in shades of magenta and orange and illuminated the Rockies in the background. They'd traveled to higher altitudes to get the autumn colors Kevin wanted in the photos.
Drew shivered in the early morning air. "It's too damn cold to be out here half-dressed. Get the shot, Kevin, my nipples are going to break off."
Teak and Sapphire laughed so hard, Drew thought they might need oxygen.
Kevin warned from behind the camera. "Don't break the moment, Drew, or I'll make you do this at sunset, too."
The horse Drew held onto stomped and snorted. A puff of white vapor came from its nostrils.
I need a goddamn jacket. My ass is getting frostbite. I can see my breath.
Betraying none of his inner turmoil to the camera, Drew petted the horse's elegant brown nose, while making a soft clicking sound next to its ear.
Kevin crouched close to the ground, moving slowly to get the horse to pay attention to him. He directed the next series in a soft voice.
"Move back, Drew. Rest your arm over the horse's neck. Get close so its mane touches you."
Drew moved into position and tried a few different poses.
A breeze came up.
"Zoom in, Kevin, this is giving me goose bumps."
"Beautiful. Perfect." Kevin looked at Sapphire. "Give the man his clothes and some hot coffee."
Sapphire handed him a pair of jeans and a thick, lined jacket.
While he changed, Kevin walked up and held the back of the camera toward him.
"Take a look at this."
Drew looked at the image. The wind had lifted enough of the horse's mane to drift in front of Drew's chest. The gooseflesh he'd talked about showed up perfectly against his lightly oiled skin. Dressed in black chaps and a g-string, this photo was sure to arouse every cowboy-loving man and woman.
"Not bad, but I just have one thing to say."
Kevin looked at him. "What's that?"
"I'm not sharing royalties with the horse. He has bad breath and shits like a goose."
Kevin chuckled. "I'll have my people talk to his agent."
Drew accepted a mug of steaming coffee. "Thanks, Sapphire."
"Honey, you looked so hot, I almost took off my jacket."
Drew arched an eyebrow. "Why didn't you?"
Sapphire shrugged. "Who will manage the wardrobe and all you naughty boys if I catch my death?"
He slurped the coffee. "Jesus H. Christ, you could have told me it was scalding hot. Fuck!"
Kevin didn't look pleased.
Sapphire's chin quivered, his eyes filled with tears.
Disgusted, Drew pitched the coffee onto the ground. "Am I done for a while?"
Kevin nodded. "I'll need you back before lunch."
Drew spoke to the ranch hand holding a saddled horse. "I'm going to borrow him for a couple hours."
"Are you an experienced rider?"
"I am." Drew put his foot in the stirrup. The leather creaked under his weight as he climbed on.
Teak called out to him. "Don't do anything you'll regret."
He swung his leg over the saddle and settled himself in. "Which way to the river?"
The cowboy pointed. "Due west about a mile. The cattle have carved a pretty good trail. You shouldn't miss it."
Drew nodded and put on the black, Serratelli cowboy hat Sapphire had given him for the session. "I'll be back." While clicking his tongue, Drew snapped the reins.
"Let's go."
It had been years since Drew rode a horse. The animal's strength beneath him gave Drew a sense of power. Tempted as he was to let the horse have its head, he couldn't take a chance on reinjuring himself. He'd be going home in two days.
He slowed the horse to a trot.
Home
. For the first time, he didn't want to go back to New Orleans. He loved his work and friends. His life was great. But going back meant living up to the promise he'd made.
I have to find Luis.
The rutted trail was easy enough to spot and follow to the river. If he had any doubts, the distant sound of mooing cattle carried on the breeze assured Drew he was heading in the right direction.
As he rode, he thought about what he wanted from Luis. What would he say when they were alone and he had the chance?
I'm sorry things got fucked up. It's done and dusted. Have a good life without me.
We could have fixed this if you'd come after me. I wasn't in love with Teak. I was in love
with you. It's too late to go back. Adiós, for good this time.
While the horse plodded along, Drew frowned. Neither of those scenarios seemed to encompass his thoughts. He tried again.
We could have fixed this if I hadn't run away like an angry kid. I couldn't cope with all
the men coming on to you, asking you out whenever we were in the clubs. I hated the way it
made me feel—so fucking jealous, I couldn't think straight. I acted out to hurt you. And you
didn't try hard enough to make me believe I was wrong. Where do we go from here?
At the riverbank, Drew tied the horse's reins to a sapling. He sat on the ground and listened to the azure water laugh at him on its way to god knew where. A stand of tamaracks nestled among the pines created a gorgeous color palette.
Despite the beautiful surroundings, his gray mood didn't lift with the sun. An apology to Sapphire would be on his stuff-to-do list when he returned. He stabbed the ground with a stick, and scraped the dry grass away until he'd dug a hole the size of a cereal bowl. Brown-sugar-colored grass fronds became his next target. He found a longer stick to use as a weapon. The flexible branch made whipping sounds as he sheared off the top of every plant surrounding him.
The horse whinnied, interrupting Drew's temper tantrum.
Part of him wished he could get on a plane today and take care of the nastiness with Luis. He hated the out-of-sorts feelings he'd had since seeing him at Tanners.
Lying flat on his back, Drew covered his eyes with his arm. He thought about his run-in with Blair last night, after he'd left Teak. It had been damn hard to turn down Blair's suggestion to spend the night together. Shit, with Blair's hands and lips all over him, Drew had been a half-second away from giving in.
He knows exactly what I like.
Approaching hoof beats made Drew turn on his side to see who was coming. Out of habit, he reached to his holster, except it wasn't there.
No need for firepower on a photo
shoot.
The rider turned out to be Blair.
Do I need a goddamn babysitter?
Drew got to his feet, while brushing off the grass from his pants.
Blair dismounted from the dappled red roan, then tied him next to the other horse to graze.
Drew shaded his eyes with his hat. "What's up?"
"I thought I'd join you. Kevin is working with Teak right now. Sapphire is in a tizzy. You should have said something to him before you left. He thinks you're going to get him fired."
Drew rolled his eyes.
Sometimes the man's drama is too much to take.
"I'll talk to Sapphire when I get back. You still haven't really answered my question."
"I was hoping you'd changed your mind, Drew. I've really been looking forward to seeing you and spending time together."
They stood almost toe-to-toe. Blair's cologne was so familiar, a spicy musk that got even more sensual when he perspired. Many times, Drew enjoyed the scent on his own body and clothing, after they'd been together. Those hot reminders stirred his cock.
Blair didn't wait for Drew to protest or agree. He pulled Drew into a hungry kiss.
Drew's emotions burst like fireworks. He moaned into Blair's mouth, half protesting, half so fucking turned on he couldn't breathe properly.