Lady Pirate (18 page)

“A mere nine months away,” Meg answered.

“Oh, dear!” Lady Thurborne exclaimed, again. “Well, then you must get to work on it at once.” Her eyes moved to her son speculatively before announcing, “Daniel is in a similar situation himself.”

“Is he?” Meg asked with interest, and Valoree turned to glare at the man in question, silently willing him to do, or say, something to stop anyone from suggesting what obviously came next.

Daniel peered back innocently for a moment, then intercepted his mother as she opened her mouth to speak. “I suggested to Lady Valoree that we team up to solve both our problems,” he claimed, making Valoree gasp in horror. “But alas, she refused me.”

“What?” Both women gasped as one, gaping from Daniel to Valoree. Even Lady Thurborne's maid looked shocked that Valoree had refused the man. Lady Thurborne shook her head.

“Well, Daniel. 'Tis no wonder she refused. No girl wishes to be proposed to so cavalierly. They like romance, sweet words, and charming gifts. No doubt those gentlemen Bess and I saw parading down the hall as we came out of the kitchen will offer those things if you will not. There must have been a dozen men—were there not, Bessy?” She glanced toward her maid, her eyes suddenly widening as they landed on the bowl the girl stood patiently holding. “Oh! The salve!”

She was on her feet at once and hurrying over to dip a finger in the bowl's contents. “I think it is still all right,” she said at last. “But, really, we should have applied it at once.”

“Aye, before it putrefied.” Daniel chuckled, suddenly at Valoree's side. Glancing up at him, Valoree found herself staring with fascination at his eyes. They sparkled with life, and actually seemed to twinkle in his handsome face.

“Well, shall we do it over here?”

Forcing her gaze away from the woman's son, Valoree saw that Lady Thurborne had moved to a chair by the fire and was now waiting for her expectantly.

“Come, Valoree. Sit here and we shall have you looking and feeling better in no time.”

Valoree's gaze slid from the bowl to the seat the woman was encouragingly patting. She really did not want any more stuff on her face.

“Mother's concoctions are really quite miraculous,” Daniel announced, his eyes alight with laughter. “She is infamous among the ton for them.”

“I have helped quite a few people over the years with one ailment or another.” Lady Thurborne smiled modestly. “Come, dear. Sit here.”

“I do not think—” Valoree began, only to be interrupted by Meg.

“Oh! A brilliant idea, and so kind of you to think of it.” The woman was suddenly at Valoree's other side, giving her a poke.

“Hey, that hurt!” Valoree exclaimed, glaring at her. She turned that glare toward Daniel as a laugh slipped from him.

“I am sorry, dear. Why do you not sit over there as Lady Thurborne suggested?” Meg urged, adding under her breath so only Valoree could hear, “Or shall I fetch Henry and the men to vote on it?”

Furious but unwilling to be further humiliated, Va
loree moved reluctantly to the chair and took a seat. The moment she did so, the three women closed in on her, blocking any possibility of escape as Lady Thurborne's maid dipped her fingers in the bowl of goo.

Craning her neck slightly, Valoree examined the contents. It was gray with reddish chunks in it. She opened her mouth to ask what it was, then snapped her lips closed and leaned back as far as she could in an effort to avoid the maid's hand—it had come out of the guck with a nasty glob of salve on the fingertips and moved toward her face. Unfortunately, seated and surrounded as she was, there was no escaping. It was cold and slimy as the maid began to smooth it around.

Valoree immediately wrinkled her nose at its smell. “What is it?”

“An old family recipe,” Lady Thurborne told her, watching the application closely. “It is passed on only to family members.”

“What a shame,” Valoree lied. Not that Lady Thurborne seemed to notice. Daniel did, though, and she was gratified by a snort of amusement from him. She found herself thinking that she liked it when he laughed. Especially when she'd made him do so. He had a nice laugh, full and deep and robust. His eyes sparkled, and his teeth flashed. And he
had
all his teeth—with not a brown, gray, or black one among them. Pretty impressive, she thought. He was a handsome man. She had seen prettier men, perhaps, but there was just something about him that appealed to her.

“You could have it if the two of you married.”

Valoree blinked at Lady Thurborne's sly words, her mouth dropping slightly. Then Meg added, “Oh, would that not be nice,” in a vaguely amused tone. Valoree glared at the older woman, quite positive Meg knew that she had no interest at all in making Daniel her
husband. He was too…Well, he just wasn't right for what she had in mind!

“You should not grimace, dear. You will get wrinkles,” Meg lectured sweetly. Valoree glared at her silently as her face was quickly covered in chunky slime.

“Oh,
my
, Mother. What wondrous stuff this is. I believe I see an improvement already,” Daniel said as he peered over the woman's shoulder at Valoree's face. Her eyes immediately snapped to him, spitting fire, but he merely winked in response. His mother turned and slapped him playfully on the arm.

“Oh, do behave, Daniel. You should not even be here. Why do you not go visit with the men?”

“Because this is far more interesting, and even educational.”

“You know,” Lady Thurborne murmured, drawing Valoree's gaze back to her expression as she peered thoughtfully at Meg, “you look terribly familiar, my lady. Is it possible we have met in the past? Perhaps ere your journey to the Caribbean?”

“Me?” Meg stammered. “Oh, nay.
Nay.
I have been in the Caribbean since I was quite young. Quite young.” She glanced around a bit desperately; then her gaze settled on the door. In a voice strident with sudden anxiety, she added, “I had best go and see to those refreshments. Our cook appears to be taking his time with them.”

“Oh, nay!” Valoree shot out of her chair, her first opportunity to escape presenting itself. “I shall tend to that. You should stay and visit. Who knows, mayhap you and Lady Thurborne knew each other as children.”

Meg looked quite upset in the glimpse Valoree had of her face as she slid out of the room—distraught even, almost in a panic. It was enough to make Valoree feel a touch guilty. Almost. Not being used to the sensation, she shrugged her shoulders uncomfortably as she strode down the hall. It did not help. The guilt re
mained solidly across her shoulders like a cloak. This nobility business was really starting to irritate her. Nothing was fun anymore, not even a little good-natured spite!

Cursing under her breath, she pushed through the doors into the kitchen. She had barely registered the empty room and the open back door when something slammed into the back of her head. Lights exploded behind her eyes, nausea rolled up from her stomach, and then those lights faded to darkness.

 

The hue and cry coming from somewhere near the back of the town house was the first indication Daniel had that anything was wrong. Aware that the women were following, he moved swiftly out of the salon toward the shouts and cries of alarm down the hall. There, a good half-dozen of Valoree's suitors were clogging the entrance to the kitchens.

“What is it? Let me through,” he ordered, making a path where there had been none even before the men began to shift out of the way. Reaching the front of the pack, he found himself staring down at an even tighter circle that consisted of Valoree's uncle and the men who passed for her servants. They were bent over an unconscious Valoree. Kneeling beside the girl, her uncle reached for her shoulder and turned her onto her back. A horrified gasp immediately went around the men.

“My God! Look at what they done to her face,” the servant with the eye patch cried as Valoree's uncle sat back in dismay.

“That is salve,” Daniel explained, pushing through the servants to kneel beside her. “Did she faint?”

“The captain don't—” An elbow in his side silenced the one-eyed fellow's scornful comment.

“My niece is not prone to fainting fits,” Meg said quickly, drawing Daniel's attention from the servant.

“Aye, and not only that, she just don't do it,” the fellow missing his nose muttered.

“And she didn't this time, unless she hit her head on the way down.” Henry announced that as he pulled the hand that he had cradled her head with away, revealing a stain of blood.

“On something like this, maybe?” the cook said sarcastically, bending to pick up a bloody rolling pin.

“Seems more likely it would fall on her than her falling on it,” One-Eye said grimly, turning to coldly eye the suitors. “And I'm wondering which of you helped it fall.”

“'Tweren't none of them,” Henry snapped as Daniel pulled a hankie out to press to Valoree's head. “Couldn't have been. They were in the dining salon with you, me, and Bull. Petey—you found her, didn't you? Where were you?”

“Out haggling with the fishmonger.” He gestured to a spilled basket on the floor by the door. He had obviously dropped it in his rush to get to his mistress's side; his purchases were spilled out onto the floor.

Henry nodded, then glanced at Daniel and the women questioningly.

“We were in the salon. Lord and Lady Thurborne, her maid, and myself,” Meg said quietly.

“Ye didn't hear or see anything?”

“I was the first one out the door, and did not see or hear anything except your cook shouting, and you men rushing into the kitchen,” Daniel said impatiently, lifting Valoree into his arms. He stood. “I am taking her into the salon to be attended to. I suggest you have the servants search the house. It is doubtful you will find anything, but it cannot hurt to be sure.”

“Aye-aye,” Valoree's uncle agreed, rising as well. “Bull, see the men into the dining salon, I'll be along directly. One-Eye, Skully, No-Nose, you start searching the house. Whoever it was is probably long gone
by now, but look anyway. Petey, clean this mess up.”

Daniel heard the orders being issued as he carried Valoree out of the kitchens and back down the hall toward the salon. Meg, his mother, and her maid immediately followed.

“Captain?”

Valoree murmured groggily, wincing as her head protested her return to consciousness. Blinking her eyes open, she moaned, then quickly pressed them closed again.

“Ye'd best call the others.”

“Aye.”

There was a rustle as someone left her side, then a door opened. A high, piercing whistle rent the air, and she recognized Skully's voice shouting. “Hoy! She's awake!”

Groaning, Valoree raised her hands miserably to press them to either side of her head. She felt as though someone were doing a dance on it. If she'd had the strength, she would have risen from her bed and ripped the man's tongue from his mouth.

“Captain?” One-Eye's voice sliced through her head, and she let her hands drop away in despair.

“Aye. I'm awake,” she said in disgust, just to shut the two men up. Then, forcing her eyes open, she struggled to sit up as she saw that she was lying in bed. Reaching out, One-Eye quickly propped pillows behind her and grasped her under the arms to assist her in leaning against them. Had she been in a better
mood, Valoree might have thanked him. As it was, she didn't bother. Instead, she grunted as Henry and Meg rushed into the room with the other crewmen at their heels.

“How're ye feeling?” Henry asked anxiously as he reached her bedside.

“Like hell,” Valoree snapped, then scowled around at the faces surrounding her. “What happened?”

“Ye don't remember?” he asked. Valoree sighed.

“Would I ask if I did? The last thing I remember is that Meg wanted to go check on the tea. I said, nay, I'd do it. I walked into the kitchen and then…what happened?”

“Someone knocked you out,” Meg said quietly.

“Koshed ye over the head with Petey's rolling pin,” Henry added.

One-Eye leaned forward. “Did ye see anything?”

Valoree frowned, then shook her head. “Not much. I opened the door and had a brief glimpse of the open back door. I thought the room was empty, stepped in, and…” She shrugged.

“Open?” Petey scowled. “I closed the door behind me when I went out to meet the fishmonger at the gate. It was still closed when I came in to find you on the floor.”

Valoree's eyebrows rose, then wrinkled in pain. “No one passed you at the gate?” The Greek shook his head. “Who was the first person through the kitchen door?”

“That'd be me, I think,” One-Eye answered. “We were in the dining salon, heard Petey's shout, and came running.”

“Did you see anyone in the hall as you came out of the dining room?” Valoree asked. The man shook his head. Sighing, she peered around at the rest of her men and Meg. “Did
any
of you see
anyone
who didn't belong in the house?”

“Nay,” her aunt murmured. “Lord Thurborne, his mother, and her maid were all in the salon with me when we heard the shouting. By the time we got into the hall, it was crowded with your suitors.”

The men nodded in agreement. No one had seen anything.

“I had the men search the house afterward, but they didn't find anything.”

Valoree nodded at Henry's announcement. “Is everyone still here?”

“Nay. I finished with scheduling appointments nigh on an hour ago, and Lord and Lady Thurborne left about the same time. Right after the first time you woke up.”

“The first time?” She peered at them blankly. “I have been awake before?”

“Aye, but you were pretty groggy.”

Valoree felt shocked by that news. “So what was decided?”

“About what?” Henry asked blankly. Valoree made a face.

“Unless I miss my guess, Thurborne wouldn't have left unless he had decided what had happened and ensured to his satisfaction that it wouldn't happen again. What did he decided?”

“Oh.” Henry shifted. “We all agreed it must have been some petty thief hoping to grab a trinket or two, but that you surprised him in the kitchen and got koshed for your trouble.”

Valoree accepted that with a grunt. It made sense. There was no reason for anyone to be whacking her over the head otherwise. At least, not here. Now, if this were Spain, or maybe even France or Holland, and people knew who she was…Well, that was another story. But here in England? She did not even know anyone here, other than her own men and the few people she had met so far.

“Thurborne suggested we post someone to watch the back door as well as the front for a while, to keep an eye out, just to make sure,” One-Eye added. Valoree nodded again. Sensible and cautious. She figured he'd think that way.

Groaning, she lay back on the pillows and made a face. “Well, you can all stop looking at me like I am at death's door,” she said in disgust. “I am fine.”

Her men straightened, muttering an agreement to that, but not looking as though they really believed it. Valoree blamed it on the dresses she had been forced to wear. They never would have looked at her like this after a koshing before they'd heard she was really a girl. When she was Captain Valerian, they would have gone about their work and left Henry to tend to her wounds. Now they all thought her so fragile they had to see for themselves that she was all right, and even then they looked reluctant to look away or leave her. Hell, she might drop dead while they weren't looking!

“Oh, go on, get out of here,” she said in a snarl. “My head is pounding something fierce.”

“Aye, come on, let her rest,” Henry ordered, straightening and urging the rest of the men away from the bed. “She'll be fine. She's suffered worse than this before.”

“Go ahead. You too, Meg. I am fine,” Valoree added when the woman hesitated.

Nodding, the older lady moved away, exiting through the door Henry held open for her. Valoree wasn't terribly surprised when he then closed the door and returned to her bedside. Being the only one who had known her true sex, he had always been the one to tend her when she was ill or injured—and he had also always tended to fuss over her like a mother hen.

“Do ye need anything?” he asked, settling himself on the edge of the bed.

“Nay. Thanks,” she added a bit gruffly, then waited,
knowing him well enough to suspect he had something to say. She didn't have long to wait.

“Daniel seems a fine boy,” he murmured, and Valoree glowered at him. Lord Thurborne was a man, not a boy. Still, Henry called anyone under his own nearly sixty years
boy
or
girl
.

“Aye,” she agreed at last.

“He is smart, strong, and handsome. Virile, too.”

“Aye,” Valoree agreed, trying not to smile at that last comment. What would Henry know about that?

“You noticed, then?” he asked hopefully. Valoree made a face.

“I would have had to be blind not to notice.”

Henry nodded sagely. Then he blurted, “I think he'd be willing to marry—”

“Forget it!”

Henry blinked at the hard tone of her voice as she cut him off. “Why? You like him, don't ye? I can tell ye like him. And—”

“Henry, I need a husband I can control, and Daniel does not strike me as very controllable.”

The old man scowled at that reasoning. “A wife ain't supposed to control—”

“A normal wife, mayhap, but I am not a normal woman! There is nothing normal about me,” she said.

He hesitated at that, then peered down at his hand as he began plucking at the linen sheets. “I know you haven't had the usual childhood, girl, but now is your chance for a normal life. Wouldn't you like to set down your burden and lean on—”

“I leaned on Jeremy once,” she interrupted quietly. “I have learned my lesson.”

“Jeremy didn't mean to let you down. He didn't mean to die. He—”

“Jeremy never ever let me down,” she said harshly, then glanced away. After a moment, she added, “But when he died…I was lost. If not for you, Skully,
One-Eye, and Petey—Well, who knows what would have become of me? The men could have voted in another captain and I could have found myself suddenly alone and destitute. I probably would have ended up dead, or a prostitute. I will not ever be weak like that again. I want to run my own life. No surprises, no—”

“Passion?” Henry suggested sadly. “I understand what ye're saying, girl. But do you?”

She felt surprise at that, then asked warily, “What do you mean?”

“What I hear ye saying is that ye're afraid.” She started to protest, but he waved her to silence. “Ye're afraid to be hurt again. To love and lose. To care and suffer. To do those things, ye gotta give up control. I've said it before: ye've no fear of dying, but ye're terrified to live.” Seeing her closed expression, he sighed and got to his feet. “Ye must be tired. I'll leave ye to rest. Yer first visit with one of them suitors is midmorning tomorrow.”

 

“…and she had a mole cut to look like a carriage and horses that she insisted on wearing right above her lip. It was the most disgusting thing, and yet she thought herself so clever for it.”

Valoree forced a smile as Lord Gravenner tittered at his own ancodote. He was the second of her scheduled visits of the day. Unfortunately, he was just as boring as Lord Shether, her first. Shether had talked of nothing but himself: how clever he was, how fashionable, how everyone adored him. Gravenner talked about everyone else: how stupid they were, how ugly, how terribly unfashionable and dull.
Really!
She didn't know which was worse. She did know, however, that both men were idiots and off her list of prospective husbands. Lack of personality aside, she didn't think that either man could be quiet long enough to accom
plish the task of getting her with child. If she were even capable of allowing them near her.

Both men had decided on a “nice walk in the park” as their courtship activity, and Valoree had briefly wondered if they were separated twins. Still, she'd found the proposal fine for the first appointment, so she, Shether, Meg, and Henry had set out on a walk with good cheer. Half an hour into their promenade around the park, they had run into Daniel, who had “just happened” to be out for a stroll himself.

Honestly, Valoree had been relieved to see the man. By that point, she had too long listened to a nonstop diatribe from Shether about his favorite topic—Shether. At first she had thought that the man was simply trying to let her know as much about himself as he could to help her make her decision, but by the time they had run into Daniel, she had begun to think that the man was simply a bore. Lord Thurborne's amused and rather snide little comments when he joined them had only proved her right.

“Shether is well known as an expert on himself,” had been one of Daniel's quips. It had made her eyes widen, her hand covering her mouth to hold back a laugh, and that laugh had nearly escaped when Shether had agreed enthusiastically.

“Aye,” he'd said. “He was an expert on himself. Why he could tell her…” And off he had gone, not even seeming to realize that the comment had been a poke at his egotistical personality. By the time they had said good-bye to Daniel to return to the town house, Valoree's mouth was sore from biting it in forbearance, and the muscles in her cheeks ached from the effort not to laugh. She had instructed Henry to cross the man off the list the moment he had bidden them
adieu
and ridden off. Alas, they had entered the town house to find Gravenner waiting in the salon, eager to announce that he, too, had decided on a pleas
ant little walk. Sighing, Valoree, Meg, and Henry had trotted out again, following the exact same path they had just trodden, this time running into Daniel right away. Stunned to find them there again, or so he proclaimed, he had fallen into their group and murmured, “Lord Gravenner is the one to ask should you wish to know anything at all about the ton. He is quite in the know. A
very
sharp fellow.”

Valoree had raised an eyebrow at the twinkle in his eyes as he'd said that, then turned her attention to Gravenner. He, too, had agreed with Lord Thurborne's assessment. “Oh, my, yes. I know everyone and everything. For instance…” And off he had gone, into an attack on seemingly every member of society. “Lady Braccon is a cow, she…” “Lord Snowtan is a dullard, he…” and so on and so forth. Valoree, aside from beginning to suffer aching feet, was heartily sick of the man with his cruel quips and snide remarks. If it weren't for Daniel's gentle little jibes at the man—jibes Gravenner, just like Shether, did not seem to grasp—she would have told Gravenner to shove off and have headed home long ago. Instead, she was seeing the humor in the situation, sharing silent laughter with Daniel, and actually enjoying herself in an odd way.

“Well, here we are.”

Meg's voice, heavy with relief, made Valoree glance around in surprise to see that they had returned to the town house.

“Aye. I can hardly believe it. The hour passed like mere moments in your company.” Lord Gravenner turned to take Valoree's hand. “It has been a true pleasure, my lady. I can hardly wait to enjoy your company again.”

Bending, he pressed a kiss to her hand, then nodded to the group at large and turned to get into his waiting
carriage. Valoree turned away as it pulled off, her gaze moving to Henry.

“Cross him off the list?” the older man asked solemnly.

“Aye. Who is next?”

“Ye've a free hour between now and the next one,” Henry informed her, pulling a piece of paper out of his pocket and contemplating it briefly before scratching out an entry, presumably Gravenner. “I thought I'd best put rest periods in once in a while—in case one of the appointments ran over time.”

“Hmmm.” Valoree nodded, impressed with his fore-thought, then started for the door. “Well, I do not know about the rest of you, but I could use a drink.”

“I intend to put my feet up,” Meg muttered, following her into the town house. “I certainly hope the rest of the suitors have something a little more entertaining in mind than walking about jabbering about themselves…or sniping about everyone else.”