Lakeside Romance (15 page)

“Alec, you have no business being here. Get back with the rest of the crowd.” Billy jerked a thumb toward the sidewalk and stalked away.

Alec jogged over to the crew and gripped Billy's shoulder. “Sarah is my business. Have you located her?”

“Get out of the way, Alec.” Billy turned away as his radio squawked. He keyed the mic and relayed a command.

Heat seared Alec's face as the reddish-orange flames licked the bricks, prowling and stalking like a hungry lion in search of prey.

Hose lines snaked through puddles forming in the wet grass as crews entered the building to battle the blaze from within. A firefighter climbed a ladder and started busting a window with a Halligan bar, a heavy metal tool used to gain entry into a building. The whining of saws and shattering of glass spun Alec's mind back to four years ago when he fought to save his own house with Christy trapped inside.

He couldn't let history repeat itself. He had to save Sarah.

“What can I do to help?” Smoke burned his eyes and choked his throat. The rain offered little relief.

Billy gripped his shoulders. “Stay out of the way. Trust us to do our jobs. Don't be a hero. We'll get Sarah out.”

Shouts erupted as the structure shifted, sending showers of sparks into the singed branches of a tree and the fire crews running from the building.

“What's happening? What's going on?” Alec's shouted questions went unanswered.

A cry sounded from the side of the building. Radios cracked and commands were given. Several firefighters hurried to that end where the tree had crashed through the roof.

He tried to make out what they were saying, but the wind, pounding rain and all the other noises drowned out their words.

Alec wanted to throw on turnout gear, strap on an air tank and follow them into the building. At least he'd have a clue of what was going on. Standing on the sidelines was killing him.

A moment later one of the firefighters emerged carrying something in his arms.

No...some
one
. Sarah.

Thank God.

The crew member hurried across the wet grass toward the ambulance, where paramedics waited. Sarah's arms were wrapped around the guy's neck as she coughed into his shoulder.

Alec's heart ratcheted as his breathing shuddered in his chest.

She was alive.

One of the paramedics—Alec recognized him as James Butler, who had tended to her at the field when she'd sprained her wrist—placed an oxygen mask over Sarah's face.

Caleb hurried over to the ambulance. Hands on his hips, he nodded, and without saying a word leaned over the gurney to give Sarah a hug. He climbed into the ambulance with the paramedic. The EMT closed the door, then raced around to the driver's side. Alec wanted to rush over to them and demand to see her, but truth be told he had no right. He wasn't family.

Less than a minute later, the ambulance lights came on and the siren sounded as it maneuvered past the engines and cruisers to rush to the hospital.

Billy strode over to him, clapping his hand on his shoulder. “Your girl's free. I figured you'd be pushing people down to get to her.”

“She's not my girl. I'm not the kind of man she needs in her life.”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“I will only let her down. Like I did Christy.”

“Buddy, you did not fail my sister. You did everything you could to save her, but God had other plans. It's time you stop playing the martyr and accept that God has you here for a reason.”

“And what would that be?”

“I don't know. But maybe it's time you talked to Him again and found out.”

Chapter Fifteen

A
lec couldn't stop shaking.

After leaving the scene, he yearned to go to the hospital and check on Sarah.

No, he longed to race to the hospital, scoop her up in his arms and cradle her against his chest.

She was alive.

Thank God.

What? No. No thanks to God.

Thanks to the fire crew.

Where was God when that tree fell on the center?

Where was God when the fire started?

Where was God when Sarah struggled for her life?

Same place He was when Christy was trapped, screaming for help...absent, vacant, distant, nowhere to be seen.

Alec unlocked his front door and tossed his keys in the small dish on the narrow table in his tiny foyer. Inside his air-conditioned living room, the stench of the fire stung his nose even more. He needed to shed his clothes and stand under the shower for about an hour to scrub the smell from his hair and skin.

Instead, he dropped into his chair, closed his burning eyes and sighed. The silence of his house should have been soothing after the cacophony of activity at the scene. Instead of bringing peace, it reminded him of the loneliness that had taken up residence in his chest cavity.

Turning his head to the side, his gaze settled on the pile of envelopes sitting on his desk. Letters from Justin, dating from his first week in the juvenile detention center to the most recent one he'd received a few days ago.

A few days ago he'd pulled them out of his bottom desk drawer after Chloe suggested he read them. Yet he couldn't bring himself to break the seal on a single envelope.

What was he afraid of finding?

Was holding on to that anger so important? Or was he afraid that if he released it, he'd find himself foundering like a drowning victim?

As he closed his eyes to blot out the thought, he imagined an outstretched hand reaching out to him.

His eyes snapped open. He scrubbed a hand over his face and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. Even though he'd removed his wedding ring a couple of years ago, his left hand still appeared naked, as if something was missing.

Not something. Someone.

Sarah.

He missed her too much to put it into words. He missed her quick laugh. Her fragrance. The way she fit nicely in his arms.

Tired of running, he pushed himself out of the chair and marched to the desk. Grabbing the first envelope, he ripped it open and scanned the contents. He reached for another and did the same.

Envelopes fell to the floor. He tossed each letter aside and grabbed a new one. At some point he settled in his desk chair and turned on his banker's lamp when darkness cloaked the room.

Hours later, fatigue blurred his vision, jumbling the letters on the pages together. Rubbing a thumb and forefinger over his eyes, he reached for the last letter—the one he'd received only a few days ago.

Sliding a letter opener under the crease, he sliced it open and pulled out a single sheet of paper. He opened it up to find two words written at the top of the page:
Forgive me
.

Forgive him?

Was he crazy?

How could Justin expect Alec to forgive him for what he'd done? His destructive choices had robbed Alec of everything he held dear. How was that forgivable?

Alec wadded the letter into a tight ball and whipped it across the room. It hit the wall, then bounced onto the side table, sweeping a piece of paper onto the floor. Alec stomped over to it and snatched the paper, finding it to be the bulletin from the day he'd gone to church with Sarah. He thought he'd thrown it away.

He started to crumple it like he'd done the letter and toss it in the trash when the script on the front caught his attention. It was a quote by Christian writer C. S. Lewis that read, “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.”

Surely nothing Alec had ever done equated to murder.

But he'd gone to church long enough to know God didn't recognize different degrees of sin.

Alec gripped that bulletin in his hand and then picked up the crumpled letter. He unfolded it, smoothing out the creases and read the two words again...
Forgive me.

With his back pressed to the wall, Alec slid down until he sat on the floor. Images flickered through his head...meeting Christy, proposing, getting married, learning they were having a baby and then the fire. But instead of seeing Christy's face in the flames and hearing her screams, he saw Sarah's.

And he couldn't save her.

What had Billy said earlier? Stop trying to be everyone's hero. It wasn't his job to save Sarah. It was his job to trust God to save her. How could he do that when God had let him down?

But had He really?

Had God really been there in the midst of the fire?

Sure the fire crew put out the fire. But what about the rain? Billy had said the rain had helped to contain the fire and keep it from spreading faster.

But...

A weariness he hadn't felt in a long time soaked through every pore. He was tired. So very tired. Tired of fighting. Tired of being afraid. Tired of being alone.

Pressure gripped his chest. He squeezed his eyes shut against the stinging tears. He buried his face in his arms and wept.

God, please forgive me for trying to do everything by myself. I don't want to be a hero, but I don't want to let others down, either. Help me to keep my trust in You. Help me to learn to forgive and to have compassion. Help me to put the past to rest. Please help me not to be too late for Sarah.

The hatred he kept buried in his heart trickled out, withering the root of bitterness he'd allowed to grow. A peace he hadn't felt in years swelled in his chest.

With no regard for the time, Alec grabbed his keys and rushed to his car. Ten minutes later, he rang the doorbell and waited and prayed it wasn't too late.

Nathan Kendall, pastor of the Shelby Lake Community Church, opened the door, rubbing his eyes. “Alec, this is a surprise.”

Seeing Nathan's T-shirt and pajama pants and noticing the darkness for the first time, Alec sighed. “I'm sorry. I didn't realize it was so late. I, uh, needed to talk to you. It's kind of important. A matter of life and death.”

“Whose?”

“Mine...in a manner of speaking.”

“Yes, of course.” He stepped aside and waved for Alec to enter. “Come in. Let's talk.”

Alec stepped inside, ready to take back his life and share his idea for how he could win Sarah's heart. Now he prayed it would all come together.

* * *

All Sarah wanted was to be discharged from the hospital and have a long soak in a tub full of bubbles to rid of the lingering scent of smoke. That and a tall glass of ice water. And then to crawl into her bed with a soft pillow. If only she could escape the nightmare that showed up every time she closed her eyes.

The cracking and crash of the tree on the center. The incredible fear that had constricted her. Hearing her own screams being drowned out by the rain and the wind. The pain in her chest from lack of oxygen and the heat of the fire penetrating through her only walls of safety in the storage closet.

She didn't want to live in fear of storms or trees or fire, but every time she closed her eyes, she had to claw her way to consciousness. Sleep didn't bring her relief.

The stench of smoke singed her nostrils. Her lungs burned every time she coughed, bringing tears to her irritated eyes.

A knock sounded on her open door, which was hidden by the privacy curtain.

“Come in.” Her voice still sounded hoarse.

Melissa peeked around the side of the curtain. “Hey, you.”

Sarah shifted, raising herself to an upright position. “Hey, you're supposed to be in bed.”

Melissa waved away Sarah's concern. “I'm past the panic stage. My doctor gave me the all clear to be out of bed, but I won't be hauling furniture or doing anything like that.”

“I'm so glad you're not at risk anymore. How are you feeling?”

“Forget about me. How are you?” Without waiting for a response, her friend sat on the end of her bed and briefly squeezed her arm, and pressed her fingers to the corners of her eyes as tears filled them. “On the way over, I told myself I wasn't going to cry. When Nate called to say what had happened, I hit my knees so fast to pray. I was so scared.”

Sarah drew in a shuddering breath. “Not my favorite moment. The center is destroyed.” A tear leaked out the side of her eye and slid down to her ear. “Those kids worked so hard this summer. The program has been amazing. That dinner was going to be the final thing to convince the church board that we need to keep this as a year-round outreach opportunity. They're so amazing, Mel. And now everything's ruined.”

Melissa looked away and adjusted Sarah's blankets, smoothing out wrinkles. “It's very admirable of you to put the kids first. Right now, you need to focus on getting out of here. When will you be released?”

Something about her friend's lack of eye contact and sudden busyness had Sarah's nerves thrumming. “Melissa?”

“Hmm?”

“What aren't you telling me?”

She smiled. Too brightly. “Hey, how about if I take you home so you can get some rest. You and I both know no one rests in a hospital.”

“Melissa.”

The woman's hands stilled. She sighed and stood. Moving closer to the head of Sarah's bed, she gripped the bed frame. “Nate should be the one talking to you about this. He's not going to like me treading on church business.”

Sarah forced herself to swallow past the lump in her throat. Even though she knew what Melissa was going to say, she pushed the words out of her mouth. “Wha...what should he, uh, be talking to me a-about?”

Melissa tilted her head, her eyes glazed with tears. “The church isn't going to continue the outreach program. They love what you've done this summer, but the grant money is nearly gone, and there are no additional funds in the budget.”

“But we can do fund-raisers, ask for company sponsors, apply for new grants.” Sarah hated the desperation creeping into her voice, but they had to do something—those kids needed the program to continue...she needed it to continue. Without it, what would happen to them? To her?

“That's something you'll have to take up with Nate and the board. If I can help in any way, I will. You know that. Keep the faith, girl. God's got a plan.”

“Yeah.” Sarah sniffed and forced a smile. A pounding pulsed at her temples.

Melissa handed her a tissue. “So when are you going to be released?”

“Caleb and Zoe are coming in a little while. They kept the boys overnight, which was something else they had to deal with yesterday. Those poor kids have been through the wringer.”

“My offer to take you home still stands. And that way your brother and sister-in-law don't have to round up their brood. We can swing by their place and pick up the boys.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, of course. Unless there's someone else you'd rather have take you home.” Melissa's not-so-subtle comment doused Sarah's heart like a firefighter's hose.

Eyes fixed on her rumpled blankets, she sniffed and shook her head. “There's no one.”

“Hey, what's wrong?”

“Nothing.” Sarah attempted to straighten her frown into a smile, but it became too much work. Flinging the blankets aside, she moved her legs over the edge of the bed, then stalled as a wave of dizziness washed over her. When she felt steadier, she looked around for her clothes.

Then she remembered. “I don't have anything to wear. Zoe took my clothes home last night to wash...or burn. I'll have to call her to bring me something to wear.”

“Or not. When Nate said they were keeping you overnight for observation, I grabbed a T-shirt and a pair of shorts for you to wear home. We were close to the same size before I got pregnant, so they should fit.” Melissa moved behind the privacy curtain, reached for a small tote bag and handed it to Sarah.

Sarah pulled out a pink fitted T-shirt, tan shorts and a pair of pink flip-flops. “You're the best. You think of everything. My shoes must have come off when they got me out of that building.”

“I'll step outside to let you get dressed. Then how about if you have dinner with Nate and me? Little Nate would love to see you.”

“Thanks, but Caleb insisted I eat with them tonight.”

Sarah started to stand then stopped as another thought occurred to her. “My car. I didn't even think about my car. I parked it behind the community center. I'll have to ask Caleb to see if it has suffered any storm damage.”

“I know you have a lot to process right now, Sarah, but remember all of that stuff is replaceable. You're not. I'm just so happy you're safe.” Melissa slid off the bed. “I'll go let the nurses know you're ready to be discharged.”

Sarah dropped back against her pillow as questions pummeled her brain. Melissa was right—she had to be thankful for being alive. And she was. But she had a lot to sort out—where was she going to live, where was she going to work and if her car was inoperable, how was she going to get there?

One thing at a time. She needed to get the boys from her brother's place and then go home.

Her purse...with her phone and her house keys had been at the center.

The weight of all the little things she had to figure out sagged her shoulders to the point where she wanted to lie back on the bed, pull up the sheet and close her eyes. The only way she could get into the house was to ask the landlord to let her in. In other words she had to see Alec.

And his actions lately made it clear he wanted nothing to do with her.

Did he even care that she'd been trapped inside that building?

She'd truly believed they were friends. Above everything else, his silence scraped her heart raw.

Her friend peeked her head around the curtain a few minutes later. “All ready? You're not even dressed yet. Wrong size?”