L'amore: The Luminara Series (2 page)

The strength of a family, like the strength of an army, is in its loyalty to each other – Mario Puzo (1920-1999)

Lust is a gift. It’s the desire for souls so beautiful.

Love is a gift. It’s the lust for souls deep within.

Light is a gift. It’s the love for both souls illuminating. ~ SJ Molloy

Dedicated to

Granny and Grandpa R

&

Granny and Grandad B

Thank you for never hushing me when I had so many words to share and for encouraging me to tell my stories and paint my pictures.

I hope I make you all proud, I love you and I miss you. Xxxx

The cosy sunroom at Lexi and Cameron’s grandparents’ highland cottage is the perfect room to relax, drink tea, and admire the beautiful scenery of the Cairngorms National Park. This traditionally Scottish dressed room is situated off the kitchen. An extension to the picturesque white washed building, purposely facing south to gain maximum sunlight exposure.

This is the room that Alexander and Elizabeth Robertson have utilised as their go-to family room for breathing space, consolations, and reflections. Over the years the inviting sunroom has been subject to many deep and meaningful family discussions, some private and some more open.

These discussions very seldom encroach into the open living room area of the house, for that is a room for undisturbed trouble-free thoughts. The discussions which take place in the sanctuary of the sunroom typically stay within the confines of these glass walls. Today is no different.

Casey Huddersfield, the therapist, has of course been privy to many of these discussions over the years. Some light and casual, but many of her chats have indeed been deep. Today she is having another private session with Lexi and Lucca together because she hoped that being here at Lexi’s grandparents’ property would help Lexi be more relaxed and responsive.

Unfortunately, today is another dark, depressing day. The sky is grey with ominous clouds overhead, and the downpour of torrential rain has been relentless in the last twenty-four hours leaving the heavens open to an almighty rainstorm.

Even with the murky, gloomy colours and wild weather of today, the views across the national park are still breathtaking. The Scottish Highlands always appear magical and enchanting, even on an eerie foreboding day like today, Casey thought, and therefore she admires the captivating view while waiting on Lexi and Lucca to join her.

Casey has spent the best part of the morning with Grace Robertson, Lexi’s mum, and these particular chats with Grace always last a relatively long time. It has been a while since they last spoke, and they have a lot to cover and catch up on.

Casey’s lucky that she doesn’t need to watch the clock today, so it allows them both a comfortable pace to talk without rushing. Here, Casey can allow as much time as desired, thus demonstrating once again she’s a diligent and a considerate therapist.

She welcomes Grace warmly and gives her time.

Grace is understandably tired after her long session. After thanking Casey, she expresses that she wants to take a nap before dinner but will wake Lexi up from her sleep to ask her to come downstairs.

Casey feels an overwhelming compassion to pour her heart and soul into helping this family. At first Casey was apprehensive about taking Lexi on as a patient because she had worked so closely with Grace—her friend—over the years and thought from a professional perspective that there should be some boundaries and she shouldn’t get involved with counselling Lexi as well. Casey thought it would be awkward initially and too hard to give both Grace and Lexi an equal amount of undivided support and attention. But when Lexi was referred to her all those years ago by a previous counsellor, it only took reading through her case file before she decided to make Lexi her priority, and she has never faltered with being patient and supportive to both Grace and Lexi.

The girl deserves it every bit as much as her mother.

For Casey, this is the quintessence of her career, being able to comfort and support this family. Admittedly, it’s difficult at times. She has to be extremely impartial and keep her integrity, and she can only hope her efforts are making a difference.

This case is the very reason why she chose to become a therapist. After all, the family is dear to her and they had endured the worst, most unimaginable tragedies. She owes it to them.

She hates to use the common word
psychologist
, as it’s off-putting to some of her other patients. She wants to counsel and not to dissect, therefore Casey believes in equivalence, and her warm, empathetic approach helps her gain the trust of her patients. Casey maintains her title as a therapist. And she’s a great one at that.

After informally greeting Lexi and Lucca in a warm embrace, Casey takes her seat. Lexi remains silent, pouring some tea for each of them with a shaky hand, and then sits back in her wicker chair worrying her fingers in front of her mouth in a nervous dance. Lexi thinks about the deep, private conversation she and Lucca had with Grace just a few nights ago on this very wicker sofa.

They discovered their fate.

Casey can’t help but notice that the beautiful girl, who normally looks so radiant, appears to be pale, tired, and very sick.

Worn down … again.

Shattered and broken.

It tugs on Casey’s heart to witness her fragile like this. Truly, it makes her feel desperate to help in any small way she can. She wants her to get better and would love positive results for her. For them both. Lexi has always been relatively closed, and today she seems exceptionally tense and guarded.
Afraid.

It reassures Casey that Lexi has such an attentive, caring, and protective fiancé as Lucca. When Lucca called and explained their circumstances, it shocked Casey at first but it was a very pleasant surprise. Ultimately, it’s clear that Lucca is the perfect partner for Lexi, and there’s no one she’d rather see her with. He’s everything she needs. Casey knows Lexi will be well looked after and will indeed receive the love she deserves from Lucca.

Although she’s delighted for them, it still feels somewhat surreal to Casey that Lucca and Lexi are now romantically together because they were both individual patients of hers. Fate definitely intervened here. It pleases her very much because Lucca has a lot of love to give and Lexi requires it in abundance.

Breaking the ice, Casey congratulates them on their recent engagement and then enlightens them both about her husband Terrance, a dear friend of Lucca’s. Terrance caught up with Lucca early this morning and is now out in the fields, clay pigeon shooting with the dogs. Lexi will get the chance to talk with him afterwards at dinner.

Lucca entwines his fingers with Lexi’s and lifts their connected hands up to his mouth. He tenderly kisses the back of her trembling, delicate hand and kisses the impressive blue diamond of her engagement ring, then sets their hands back down to rest on her lap, giving her reassurance. But he never lets go of her; they remain connected.

Unified and bonded.

“Lexi, are you still writing in your journals? I have to say that was a huge step for you and I’m very proud of you. I have you to thank for that, Lucca. I’m so happy you were able to help with that.”

“Well … I was before ...” Lexi speaks in barely a whisper and drops her head, a habit she often demonstrates when she’s nervous.

Lucca immediately places his fingers under her chin and lifts her head to meet his loving eyes. They briefly exchange silent words using only their engaged eyes: crystal blue with brushed chocolate.

A simple yet powerful understanding between them. Lexi smiles and relaxes.

He has her.

“Did you think it helped you, writing in your journal?” Casey politely asks, breaking Lexi and Lucca’s moment to move forward with her questions.

“Eh … I believe it did, yes.” She’s much clearer in her answer this time. Casey trusts Lucca calmed her nerves and has given her the encouragement she needs with the warmth of his eyes. Despite looking very ill, Lexi seems to blossom under Lucca’s loving influence and his touch. She flourishes.

“When you say did? Aren’t you writing your feelings down now?”

“No … yes … um no ... I keep picking up the journal intending to write, but since last week, since the …” Casey notices Lexi’s becoming uncomfortable talking about the recent turn of events so she interrupts.

“I think you should continue to write, especially now at this time with everything that’s going on.” Casey sips her tea and smiles, admiring Elizabeth’s trademark design … a purple thistle on the side of the china cup.

“I know I should, but when we left Tuscany I was filling pages with happy words … happy feelings and nice memories, and I thought that I’d carry that on. You know … like my new chapter, my new start. But when I start to write now, all I feel is pain, grief, and darkness. That’s where I was before Lucca, and I don’t want to go back. It makes me want to tear the pages and get rid of the words. The dark words.”

Lexi reaches for something to fidget with. The tassel on the tartan shawl is weaved and flicked absently through Lexi’s fingers. Both Lucca and Casey realise that Lexi is restless because she frantically teases and rolls the strand of soft wool between her middle finger and thumb.

Breakthrough.

“What you’re telling me is that you’re still compartmentalising and filing your thoughts. By putting them to the back of your mind and ignoring them, you’re only creating a much bigger issue for yourself for when you do finally address these worries. Acceptance is a gradual process. Denial isn’t healthy, Lexi. It’s good to break down these worries as they come to you and progressively manage them. Small steps.” Casey places her cup down on the thistle designed coaster, tilts her head, and removes her red spectacles as if she’s looking at Lexi through her own eyes. The warmth and sincerity of Casey’s tone mimic the soft and kind sensitivity in her eyes.