L'amore: The Luminara Series (68 page)

“Come on, I’ll show you upstairs.” I tug Lucca along after he’s admired the old tractor.

“Do we get to try out the bed?” he rasps, roguishly grinning with his sexy, dimpled smile.

“Trust you.” I smile.

“Baby, you know that you, stairs, and bed in the same sentence is going to get me rock fucking hard.” He runs his hand under my sundress, cupping my ass. I am blushing and looking around to make sure no one has heard or witnessed that.

My room has one of the bathrooms. It’s simple and comfy. The adorning ceilings also have Tudor beams. It’s actually not unlike the bedroom in Sofia and Franco’s villa. There’s a double bed with a white duvet cover and a purple and blue tartan throw over the bottom. A mahogany dresser with a purple cushioned stool, drawers, bedside drawers, and a double wardrobe complete the room.

The curtains are purple and navy—Pride of Scotland Hunting Tartan—with matching pelmet and thick braided tie backs. The room is simply decorated with a mirror, clock, and a vase with thistle in it.

Still feeling clammy and queasy, I open the dormer window to let fresh air in.

“Baby, come here.” Lucca sits on the end of the bed reaching out pulling me onto his lap. “I am worried about you. You look rather pale. Your mother noticed too. She mentioned it to me when you were speaking with your grandpa.”

Yawning, I admit I’m feeling tired and groggy. He holds me into his chest, running his hand over my hot skin, soothing me with his touch.

“So what do you think?” I ask.

“I love the house and I love your family, but I knew I would. You were not exaggerating about your mother’s beauty. She is absolutely stunning, which is of no surprise having a perfect beauty of a daughter. You are her exact image, and I told her so. She is an exceptional woman, Lexi, and she loves you very much. She is caring and gentle just like you. Your grandfather is a sincere, kind man. I see why you love him so much.”

“And Granny?”

“Keeping your grandfather on his toes, that is what she is.” I part my dry lips to smile and giggle.

He’s summed her right up.

“She’s hard work sometimes so be firm with her. She likes to get what she wants.”

“Hmmm … just like someone else I know.” He taps my nose with his fingers.

“I do not,” I protest.

“Lexi, please, those chocolate brown eyes get you anything you want and as long as you are in my arms, I will always give you what you want. I love taking care of you, just like your grandpa most likely does for your granny.” He strokes his thumb over my lips.

“I’d love to go for a nap. I’m so tired. Will you hold me for a bit?” I ask before running my fingers over his stubble then his lips.

“Of course I will. See how easy that was? Anything you want, baby.” He smiles.

“It’s the simple things, Romeo,” I say appreciatively.

Smiling, I jump up, open the bedroom door, and holler over the thick oak banister, “Mum, I’m going for a sleep. Can you wake me up for dinner please? Oh, and make sure Mr. Carlin is settled, and ask Granny to search for that herbal tea stuff to settle my stomach.”

“Are you okay?” she calls up.

“Yes, I have a fever and I’m tired.”

“Okay, honey, enjoy your nap. Is Lucca okay?”

“Yes, he’ll be down soon. Oh, there are groceries and butcher meat, which needs to be put in the fridge. Lucca will help.”

Sighing, she stares at me as I hang over the banister. “Anything else, Alexis?” Exhaustion with a trace of discontent is obvious in her tone, which could be misconstrued as sarcasm.

“Nope, I think that’s it. Oh, actually, ask Grandpa to feed Doris, please.” I go back into my room and Lucca is leaning against the headboard, raising his brow, looking smug with crossed arms behind his head.

“So back to our conversation …”

“Very funny. She likes doing stuff for me because she doesn’t see me very often.” I smirk.

“More like lets you get away with anything.” I guess she does. She has always felt a need to try and compensate for fundamental things she wasn’t able to do for us when we were kids.

I smile bashfully, running my teeth along my bottom lip.

“It’s lovely to see you smiling.”

He kicks his shoes off then lifts me up placing me in the middle of the bed. Slipping my pumps off, he gently massages my ankle then lifts the tartan throw. Spooning around my body, he wraps us in the throw and holds me close until I drift off into a deep sleep.

Stretching my lethargic limbs, the smell of pine, woodchips, fresh lavender and potpourri fills my nostrils, and I remember I’m in a room at my grandparents, nestled in the woodlands of the Scottish Highlands.

The fresh air sure knocked me out. I search for Lucca’s hand, his body, but he’s not there. Lifting my cosmetic bag from a holdall next to the bed, I freshen up and brush my teeth then take some of my painkillers hoping it will lower my burning temperature.

I discover I’m not bleeding any longer. Weird! Then I remember the doctor telling me the implant reduces your period and makes it very light and short.

Excellent
, I say to myself. I smile looking at Granny’s coordinating purple hand towels with tartan ribbon trimming, matching bath mat, and a little vase of thistles in the bathroom.

I hope she’s not too upset that Lucca will be sharing a room with me, but it’s simply non-negotiable. I find a note sitting on the dresser.

‘Doc, you looked so peaceful and needed a good sleep, so I did not want to disturb you. I am going to bond with your mother and tell her wonderful things about you, about us. I will be waiting downstairs for you, see you soon. Lexi, I love you, baby xxx’.

Holding the note to my chest, I smile into the mirror in silent prayer, grateful that Lucca is in my life, that I have him.

“Oh God,” I groan with disgust, noticing my dark, weary eyes. I look lifeless and my face is ashen even under my olive skin tone and sun kissed glow from Italy. Pinching my cheeks doesn’t bring any colour to them at all.

Sighing, I accept I look and feel like shit.

Hanging my body over the banister, I don’t see or hear anyone in the hallway. Downstairs, I find Mr. Carlin, Grandpa, Lloyd, Devon, and Nate in the dining room playing cards. I wrap my arms around Grandpa’s neck and kiss his head.

“I hope you’re winning.”

“Do I ever lose, kid?” Men in Black try to remain impartial but their facial expressions are softening, and I see a smile from under Devon’s normally stern mien.

It’s the first time I have seen Men in Black relax, and without those dark glasses on they look carefree and well … human. They are from the same firm as Nate so they have a lot of history together, and I’m guessing it’s not going to be as uncomfortable as I initially thought for them.

“Nice sleep, Apple?” Grandpa asks.

“Yes thanks, where’s Lucca?”

“Outside with your mother. Granny is in the kitchen. She might want help if you’re feeling better. You have a wonderful beau there, Apple, he’s a keeper. He sure is a very endearing, loving man and I’m delighted for you, kid,” he says without taking his eyes off the game at hand.

I love the way he and Granny still call each other “Granny” and “Grandpa” in front of me. It’s very sweet. I’ve only ever heard him call her Elizabeth in my presence a few times, and it’s when their having a tiff.

“I know I do, Grandpa, I really do.” I kiss his head and stroll outside. Leaning against the porch, I watch Lucca and my mum sitting on the bench surrounded by the tree. She has a shawl wrapped around her petite shoulders and her head rests on Lucca’s shoulder. From the back I could be looking at Lucca and me.

His arm is protectively around her shoulder, and she looks tiny under his huge, toned arms. They’re watching the sunset across the northern edge of the Cairngorm National Park and River Spey. The views are truly spectacular, peaceful, fresh, and unlike anywhere else on earth. It’s mystical. This view fills my heart with pride every time I look at it.

Lucca also fills my heart with pride because of his natural instinct to protect, care, cherish, and love.

It breaks me seeing her so vulnerable. I’m striving to keep strength because nothing I have gone through or ever will go through will come fractionally close to my mum’s own horrid misfortunes and emotional demons.

Grace Robertson has clawed and chipped away trying to shatter that glass shield, to break into her light, but she just can’t make those last few punctures to splinter and crack that glass. The shield encases her, she slides back down, dragged further into the pit of Hell, deeper into the abyss of bad dreams.

On
that
side. The dark side.

Figuratively, her hands must be cut to shreds, not to mention her mind and heart. My issues seem like a mere trickle of rain on a water lily floating in a tiny pond of worry in comparison to hers.

Knowing Lucca and how he has helped me and how strong he is, he might just be what she needs to shatter that glass and find some of her own light. I hope so. I don’t want to disturb the moment but little Ruby, the King Charles spaniel, is whining and clawing at my leg. I bend over to pick her up and snuggle her into my neck, kissing her head.

As if sensing I’m there, Lucca turns around and smiles tenderly at me. His eyes ask me to join them. Agreeing soundlessly, I walk across the gravel and dewy grass towards the tree bench with Ruby cuddled in my arms.

I have a desperate desire to be near him for his touch and to share his warmth. The butterflies in my abdomen flutter, anticipating his loving, gentle comfort. With Ruby in my arms, I sit at the other side of Lucca then put Little Miss Frightful down on the grass when she wriggles hearing Doris’ wolf-like howl. She scurries away to hide.

Lucca kisses my cheek and moves a stray curl from my face. My mum doesn’t look up; she remains peacefully relaxed into Lucca’s side watching the warm amber sun lowering behind the Cairngorm National Park and distant River Spey. I reach my hand across and place it over hers, resting on Lucca’s thigh. She sighs and clutches it tightly.

The golden evening sun highlights her perfect but thin body and the caramel sheen of her soft, chocolate hair. Other than the elegant small pearls, her skin is bare; there are no diamonds or expensive sparkle, only her pure, exquisite beauty which is sparkle enough for my beautiful mum. I feel a twinge of heartache sharing this moment with her.

“Alexis,” she whispers.

“Uh huh.” I’m waiting on something very negative, challenging, or obsessively suffocating.

“I give you both my blessing, sweetheart. Lucca is more than wonderful, and very much the man who I would love you to spend your life with. He is perfect for you, and I truly wish you both all the happiness in the world that my fragile heart can give you. I’ve only ever wanted the best for you and Cameron, and it makes me very happy and content to know that you have found stability, love, and security,” she croaks.

I’m speechless. I don’t know how Lucca managed it, but then I never doubted his charm. He’s superhuman after all. Tears threaten my eyes, but I’m on my mission of strength and try desperately to contain them.

“Mum, I’m so happy you said that because Lucca
has
turned my life around, and I need your blessing, thank you … it means so much. I love you, Mum.” I squeeze Lucca’s knee with my hand as my other one tightens around my mum’s.

“Our relationship has progressed very fast, so I understand you have your concerns, but I can assure you I want nothing more than to be with Lucca, to have him in my life.” Lucca grips me tightly, then trails his thumb across my hip. She lifts her head off Lucca’s shoulder, sitting upright and turning to face me, causing the shawl to drop off her dainty shoulders.

“Alexis, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was irrational with you. I can see now how special your relationship is, how special you are for each other. I was shocked initially, but, sweetheart, I’m so proud of you. God was watching over me when he brought you into the world, into my life. You’re my breath of hope, Alexis, and you have no idea how much I love you.”

The strong wall which I’ve tried to cement is tumbling brick by brick.

I’m demolished.

“Mum, I love you too. I’m sorry if I let you down.” My lip trembles.

“Alexis, you could never let me down, ever. I’ve done enough of that for all of us.” She’s faltering, doing what I always do … questioning herself.

“Hey, don’t ever say that. You have not. You’re an inspiration, Mum, look what a good job you’ve done raising us. We have so much respect for you. Don’t ever put yourself down. Promise me,” I sob with a lump forming in my throat.

Promise.

A promise is a promise.

“Oh, honey, thank you … I promise I’ll try.” She smiles.

Standing up, we reach for one other and embrace tightly. In this moment I wish I could obliterate my mum’s worry the same way Lucca does with mine.

We hold each other until the sun is finally down, huddled against one another. Lucca grants us our moment. I reach my hand to pull him beside me. My mum wipes my tears then smiles.