[Lanen Kaelar 01] - Song in the Silence (12 page)

I laughed, as he knew I would. “I promise
I’ll only wound him.” I reached out to him and he gathered me in his arms
and held me close. I was taken with a trembling. “Oh, Jamie,” I
whispered. He did not speak for a moment, only pulled me to his heart and
embraced me with all his strength. “Lanen, daughter, go you safe and keep
you safe, and come safe home to me,” he whispered, his voice rising at the
end as his throat tightened.
      
.
      
.

The smell of him, the feel of his arms around me,
love and strength from my earliest childhood—I could not speak.

He loosed me from his embrace and ‘mounted his
horse. Holding out his hand to me, he drew me to his side and kissed me on my
forehead like any father seeing a child off into the world. He held my eyes
with his one long moment, then turned Blaze to the west gate out of Illara. He
did not look back. The lads followed him, waving cheery goodbyes to me, and I
soon lost sight of them among all the others on the road.

I dried my tears on my shirtsleeve. It was a
strange feeling, being alone at last. My heart was full of his words and his
look, but there seemed to be an empty space all around me where Jamie should
be, had always been.

He called me daughter.

No matter that Maran never knew, no matter that
we could never be sure—he was my father in every sense that mattered.

I wrapped my arms around myself. Despite the
early afternoon sun, there was a chill wind blowing in from the northeast. I
took it as a sign from the Lady. I would let the winds blow me south and west,
to Corli; if chance and the Lady willed it, to the Dragon Isle, following the
wind and my dreams—and when I wearied of wandering, at least now. I would
always know where home was.

And Jamie would be there.

He called me daughter.

I let the words sink deep in my heart. I could
feel them like a cool drink on a summer’s day, spreading through my body,
quenching the hot dryness where I held images of a heedless Hadron. Sweet pain,
that brought such a feeling.

I smiled. It had been a good parting after all,
and the only one that mattered.

I turned back towards the inn, my heart and mind
full of time past and time to come, and walked straight into Bors of Trissen.

We had to catch hold of each other to keep from
falling. I was glad to find that my heart did not pound as it had before in his
presence. Once I had my balance again I shook off his hands.

He was smiling, looking genuinely pleased.
“Why, Lady Lanen, here you are! I’ve been looking for you. Won’t you come
fairing with me?”

I was on the point of swearing at him when I
realised I could look at him without being dazzled. I wondered if that was the
result of knowing about his amulet.

He laughed. “Dear lady, why so great a
frown? I have no dark designs, I only want to show you the fair.”

“Why so great a deception?” I growled.
“I have no time for liars.”

“What do you mean? How did I deceive
you?” He looked all innocence.

“You know full well. My friend warned me,
for the spell did not affect him.”

“Oh, you mean the amulet,” he said
calmly. “Why, my lady, surely you knew—oh, your pardon! I never
thought!” He went down on one knee to me, right there in the street, like
a prince (or a player). He looked genuinely penitent. “Lady Lanen, I pray
you will pardon this fool. I wore what I had purchased to find if it was what I
had paid for. I should have realised you would not know of such things, I know
they are rare outside of Corli and Elimar. I beg your pardon most
sincerely.”

A crowd was beginning to gather. He looked such a
fool kneeling there in the road, it was all I could do not to smile at him. An
old woman called out, “Take him, lass, or leave him be, but don’t leave
him there in the dust!” It raised a general laugh. I reached down and drew
him to his feet.

There was more laughter and the people dispersed.
“You great idiot,” I said, losing the battle and grinning at him.
“A simple apology would have done.”
   
.

“I am truly sorry, Lanen,” he said
humbly. “I am not wearing it now, you know.” He grinned at me.
“Though that night in the inn, I must admit I thought it was not working.
I had hoped for a kiss at least.”

“Be glad you didn’t get one,” I said.
“If I had kissed you because of a spell and found out about it later, I
might have—well, I should warn you, I have a vile temper.”

Still he smiled. “I may not even hope?”
he asked, teasing. I batted at his arm to cover my confusion, not knowing
whether to be flattered or insulted. He was still a handsome enough man when he
smiled, and his voice at least was no deception. It still had all its power and
music, undiminished by the absence of the amulet. With such a natural gift, I
thought to myself, he could own the world if he so wished.

“Come then, you deceiver,” I said,
smiling. “Show this ignorant country girl the fair, and don’t forget that
you’re the one who paid me three times what my mare was worth.”

He laughed and took my arm. “And I shall buy
you supper on the strength of it as atonement for my fault,” he declared.
And so we entered the fair.

We spent what was left of the afternoon going
round the booths and tents. I had never seen so many things before in one
place. It was like a swift glimpse of all the places I dreamt of seeing
someday. There were silks in all colours and patterns from Elimar—and many
things that claimed to be Elimar silk but weren’t (Bors showed me the
difference). There was jewelry from the East Mountains, heavy furs from the
trappers of the Trollingwood, beautiful boxes and bowls made from· the perfumed
woods that grew in the North Kingdom, warm woolens from northern Ilsa. For
supper Bors took me to a booth where they sold a spicy soup of fish and roots,
a specialty of Corli. It was delicious and I was ravenous. Bors laughed and
bought me another bowl. Then in the gathering dusk our eyes were caught by a
troop of jugglers passing by, tossing lighted torches in the air and catching
them, crying the start of a performance. We followed them to a platform draped
with cloth, where the jugglers disappeared and reemerged in costume. We found
space on the ground and I watched their play, fascinated. Players never came as
far as our village, and everything the bard had said about them was true. I
tossed a silver coin in the hat they sent round just before the end and clapped
delightedly for them when it was over. Then I looked around and realised
that-most of the Merchants were closing their booths.

Bors saw the look on my face. “Was there
something you wanted to buy?” he asked. “They are none of them gone
home yet, if we pound hard enough on the shutters they’ll open-or we can come
back in the morning.”

“No, it isn’t that I wanted anything—but it
was such fun to look!” We both laughed. “I can’t believe it,” I
said as we walked slowly back to the White Horse Inn. “So many beautiful
things all in one place.”

“That’s, why I became a Merchant,” said
Bors. He was trying to keep his voice light, but beneath it I heard a genuine
passion. “I have always wanted to have beauty around me to keep such
things and make them mine so I could see them whenever I wished. Thought I
wonder at you, Lady Lanen. I tell you true, I have never met such a woman. To
look all day and buy nothing at all I know perfectly well that you can afford anything
you have looked at—I handed you enough of my silver this morning. Could it be
that in all the fair you found nothing to please you?”

“I have no need of things, Bors,” I
replied softly. “I have spent my life surrounded by things and I leave
them behind with a good will. I am going to see the world. Having more things
means only a larger pack for my back. Since I sent my Shadow home,” I
added with a smile, “I must bear my own burdens.”

He looked up at me, his expression unreadable,
that glorious voice uncertain for the first time. “Are you a wizard,
then?” he asked, his voice catching ever so slightly .

I burst out laughing. “Shadow is the name of
my horse,” I sputtered when I could speak. He had been truly frightened!
Suddenly I cared nothing for the little deceptions he had practiced on me.
Perhaps it was simply the custom of Merchants. I had spent the day talking with
a man I had never known, who meant nothing to me and to whom I was only a
country lass to be enjoyed as a novelty. I had never done anything of the sort
before and I had had a wonderful time. The very distance between us was a
comfort.

Do him justice, he laughed as heartily as I. The
moon was not yet high, and I could not see his face when he said cheerily,
“May you be the only woman in Kolmar who feels no need of my wares, lest
my fortune wither! For I seek my fortune as a Merchant, Lanen, though I am but
a young one as yet.”

“Not so young anymore,” I said lightly.

“Ah, sunlight is my enemy,” he said,
and I could tell he still smiled. “True, I am not so young as a man,
though my wealth is such that as a Merchant I am barely out of my infancy.
Though I think I have found a way to remedy that.”

“To remedy age? Surely only lansip may do
that,” I said.

“I meant only to remedy my status as a
Merchant—but you are right.” He was silent for a moment, then said,
“I am surprised you know of lansip.”

“Even in the north we hear stories. It was
lansip that used to send ships to the Dragon Isle, the leaves that preserve
life, that restore lost years. But I have often wondered if the tales of their
power are no more than legend.”

“No, lady, the tales are true,” he
said, his glorious voice earnest and compelling. “So convinced am I of
their truth that I have spent much of my fortune outfitting a ship: If you know
so much, you must know that this is the year the Storms lose most of their
force. My strongest ship leaves Corli in little more than a month to voyage to
that island, to bear home to me wealth beyond imagining and the means of life
twice the span of mortal men.”

I gasped and grabbed his arms. “Speak you
truly, Bors? Your ship leaves for the Dragon Isle this year?”

“I have said so,” he said, command
almost smug in his voice.

I laughed. I laughed with delight so vast I was
almost singing there in the dark street. I covered my mouth with my hands in
disbelief, joy brilliant and sparkling all round mr. I could barely see Bors,
but I could feel his confused stare even in the dark. It made me laugh more.

“If you find me so ridiculous, I shall bid
you goodnight,” said Bors in a huff. Instantly I reached out to him.

“No, no, please, don’t go, I’m not laughing
at you, it’s only that I can’t believe it. Bors, I have dreamed of going to the
Dragon Isle since I was a tiny child. Surely it is more than good fortune that
brings us together here.”

He took me by the arm and drew me into the light
from the windows of the inn. There he studied my face intently, shook his head
and said, “I don’t see it. Why should you desire wealth or longer life,
you who are your own mistress and with al so very young?”

“Not so very young,” I said, faintly
stung in my turn. “I turn twenty-four at the Autumn Balance day not a
fortnight hence. But I do not seek more life or wealth.”

“What then could draw you to dare such a voyage?
You must know that of the last ten ships gone out not one has returned,”
said Bors, wondering. “It is almost certain death to ride one of the
Harvest ships. I risk my all for the hope of great gain. What do you seek that
is worth your life?”

I let the one word speak the volumes I felt.

“Dragons.”

It was his turn to burst out laughing, though his
merriment was barn not of delight but of ridicule. “Dragons? Why, away
north the Trollingwood is full of them. They are small and harmless and stupid,
cattle with wings. What could possibly make you risk death for—oh!” He
stared at me. “And you laughed at me for seeking lansip. You are mad, you
know that. True Dragons are an invention of the bards. And what could you
possibly want with one if you found it?”

Thank the Lady I managed to remember that this
man was my way onto the ship. I swallowed my pride and replied quietly,
“That is my secret. But I must go, and I am delighted beyond words to know
that you send a ship this year. Know you how I might join your
Harvesters?” I wanted to fall to my knees and beg, offer to cook or clean
the privy (if there was one) or wash the floors, anything to get on board. I
managed to keep the pleading tone in my voice to a minimum.

“Of course, of course,” he answered
smoothly, the silk of his voice returned with all its force. “Perhaps we
might travel to Corli together? I have business to tend to, but I take to the
river in three days’ time. There would be time enough to find out more about
Illara, and each other. Shall I come fetch you after you break fast? I would be
pleased—”

Even his voice couldn’t make the offer anything
but ridiculous. I laughed aloud, breaking the mood he strove to create, and
soon he could do naught but laugh with me. “Ah, Bors, you are tempting, but
I cannot. I leave at dawn on the morrow, and I will be glad to deal with you as
master of the ship you send once I get to Corli, but you are too much the
deceiver for my taste. “