[Lanen Kaelar 01] - Song in the Silence (28 page)

“They stopped me on my walk and
told me I was commanded to appear before you. One threatened to bind my hands
if I did not come quietly,” I replied, trying to sound more annoyed than
frightened.

“Fools!” he cried. “I
would never have ordered such a thing. Which was it, that I may punish him as
he deserves?”

“It is of no matter,
Marik.” I swallowed, trying to keep my voice steady. “Why did you
want to see me?”

He smiled at me, as though we were
privy to a shared secret. “Why, lady, I have just completed a morning’s
work that will make the House of Marik one of the wealthiest of the Merchant
Houses. I thought I might invite you to celebrate that good fortune. And
perhaps after we sup, we might speak more of your mother.” He moved closer
to me and dropped his voice to a register that melted my fear. “And
perhaps speak more of ourselves. I would know you better, Lanen,” he said,
and he took my hand and carried it to his lips, kissing the back of it as I had
been told some men did. Then he turned it over and kissed my palm, gently,
tenderly, passionately.

I shivered, sick and thrilled at
once. The thought of this man, who might well be my father, kissing me
passionately made my stomach heave—but another part of my being had other
ideas. My mind had its own firm opinion of Marik as my possible father, as one
with a dark soul who dealt with demons, but my traitor body ached with sudden
longing. I had never known a man, nor ever truly loved; and I had certainly
never been romanced before, twisted as this was. It was the last thing I would
have expected from him and I was completely unprepared.

I swayed lightly on my feet, and
suddenly I was in his arms and hi face was inches from mine. He even
smelled
wonderful, and infinitely desirable. His lips were on mine almost before I
noticed. His kiss shuddered through me, jangling every nerve with desire
flavoured with a taste of evil, of the deeply forbidden. It was irresistible.
It was nauseating.

There was no more than a shred of my
mind that held fast to reality. That small part cried out that it was nearly
sun set, that one worthy of a genuine love waited for me, but my body had taken
over and I didn’t care. I am afraid that I let go my better side and kissed him
back with all my strength.

He seemed a little shaken. He drew
back after a minute and stared at me, his eyes glinting with something
unreadable. “So there is a fire within, my lady of the horses. You have
built your walls high and well, Lanen, but I shall overcome them.” We
kissed again. I felt stirrings I had not felt in years. I knew perfectly well
that I should leave, but I could no more do that than fly.

Thank the Lady, the idiot moved too
soon.

In the midst of a breathless pause
(at least
I
was out of breath) while we clasped each other close, he
murmured in my ear, “Lanen, lady, I know your secret, I know you have
spoken with the Dragons, as I have. I pray you, sweet lady, tell me what you
have learned, that we may be together in this as well.”

Nothing else could have shocked me
out of his spell. I drew away a little. “What?” I asked, my mind
fogged with passion. “What did you say?”

“The Dragons, dear one,”
said Marik, with a glorious smile. He bent and kissed my throat, held me
tighter against him, his hands strong and sensual against my back, murmuring,
“I know you have been to them, you brave soul. Tell me, what did you speak
of?”

My mind was clearing rapidly. I
nearly drew away from him, but I managed to realise that I stood to gain more
if I kept him believing that I was still helpless. It was not much of a
pretence; I was still on the edge.

“Not a great deal, they wouldn’t
listen to me.” I kissed him again, lightly, teasing. “What a thing to
ask! Why do you want to know now, of all times!”

“Ah, sweeting, believe me, soon
you won’t want to speak!” he said laughingly, caressing me.

“Then tell me, you wicked soul,
what is it you seek from them?” I asked, trying to sound playful. The
words were out of my mouth before I realised they were the wrong ones. This
time it was Marik who drew back. He stared at me, his false passion turned in
an instant to a cold-eyed suspicion. I tried to feign innocence and went to
kiss him again to cover my confusion, but he broke from me. I met his gaze with
as open an expression as I could, but he was well versed in lies as I was not.

His eyes narrowed in anger. “And
who has told you that I seek anything from the Dragons?” I did not answer.
He stepped close again, grabbing my right arm roughly in a grip stronger than I
would have expected from him. “Answer me, fool child, or I’ll kill you
despite all.”

Obviously he knew only two ways to
use women, seduction or bullying. I can’t bear that kind of cowardice, and as
I’ve said, I have a terrible temper. Always have. And all the nausea, the
loathing I felt for him (and which now included myself), poured through me and
was transmuted into pure anger as I realised I was being threatened by the man
who had just enticed me into releasing my passions.

Did I mention that I’m left-handed?

Just like my mother.

My first blow was not from my fist,
since my knee was in a much better position, but the second one was. I had
never struck with all my force as an adult—even with Walther I had pulled back
a little. I have to admit it felt wonderful to see him drop. He hardly even
groaned.

I decided it was time to leave. Fast.

I snatched up my cloak and looked
frantically round for something, anything that could help me escape the guards
outside. I peered through a crack in the door and saw them both waiting
outside, so far unaware that anything had happened.

I grabbed up what looked like Marik’s
sea chest and took firm hold, then called out. “Guards! Guards, help, your
master is ill, come quickly!”

Well-trained idiots, at least. They
burst into the room just as I had assumed they would. I timed my run and, I
must say, it worked rather well. I barrelled into the one in front at full
tilt, the sea chest held before me. He, of course, obligingly fell back onto
his comrade with a grunt. I threw the sea chest at the head of the one on top
just for good measure and he fell back, satisfyingly motionless and still on
top of his comrade: I leapt over the tangle of bodies and ran for the trees
and the Boundary as fast as I could go.

I got in among the trees in moments,
heading northwest to avoid the camp and any awkward questions. I assumed that
the guards would sort themselves out far too soon for my comfort. I ran with
all my might.

I realised that the sun was just
setting as I ran. I laughed aloud, once, for sheer relief that I had escaped
alive, but I soon sobered (besides, laughing took too much breath). What did it
matter that I was in time for my meeting? Blessed Lady, how could I face Akor
after this? And what in all the world should I do afterwards?

I was furious at Marik, angry at
myself, angry that I was angry at this moment when at last I would see Akor in
the light of day. I tried as I ran to clear my mind of Marik and his lies, and
of the sick passion I had felt; I was amazed at the strength of it. Then my
mind whispered,
Amulet, Lanen. He was wearing the amulet he wore in Illara,
or a better one. It pressed hard against your right breast as you embraced,
remember?

As before, once I realised I had been
influenced by a spell much of its force dissipated; but I could not so easily
make my body forget the feelings it had been roused to. Still, fear and running
helped—as did a certain wild exultation I could not explain, as though by
defeating Marik physically I had struck a blow for my freedom. I expected at
any moment to hear the out cry, or worse to hear Marik’s guards pelting along
behind me, but so far there was nothing—and already the Boundary fence loomed
before me in the gathering dusk. I ran across the wide pathway before it and
stood close against the fence, seeking the lengthening shadow of the trees in
case they found me. I caught my breath and listened for Akor. I was not in the
place we had agreed on, and I did not dare call to him in truespeech in case
another heard. I could only wait, trembling and talking to myself, hoping he
would find me by smell or some other sense I might not know of. Fortunately, I
had plenty to say to me.

Right, my girl. So you have awakened
at last. Is that so terrible? More a reason to rejoice, I would have thought.
You are not so immune as you had thought, there is a woman in you after all.
And twenty-four years is long enough a maid!

But such a man! He sickens me, he
might be my father, I am so ashamed.

He had an amulet. You were responding
to the demons, not to him. There is no cause for shame in this. Anger, yes, but
the shame is his. It is no crime for you to have such feelings. As for Marik,
it is all one; he will not take you in again.

I would kill him first, I thought,
listening still for signs of pursuit.       

You would not be so foolish. Remember
what Jamie said. “Never kill unless you are forced to it, Lanen. The souls
so ripped from life do not sleep quietly, and neither does the one who severed
them from the world.” But come, Lanen, have done! Turn to other things
while you can. This is the moment you have awaited all these years. Akor will
be with you, just the two of you in concord. There will be no barriers between
you for this once. This may be your last speech with any of the Kindred, Lanen,
and it may be your one best chance to speak with the one you truly—with Akor
.

There were still no signs that the
hunt was up and following me. I couldn’t understand it, though I blessed the
chance. I didn’t think I had done Marik any serious damage, though I certainly
knocked him out for a while, as well perhaps as the guard on top. But where was
the other?

And where was Akor? Could he not find
me?
Oh, blessed Lady, let him find me swiftly
. I took in a deep breath
to steady myself, and as I breathed out, I let myself whisper just below
hearing, “Kordeshkistriakor.”

The very mention of his name seemed a
talisman against the false feelings Marik’s amulet had engendered. It was as if
a bright light had risen in my heart, and by that light the candle flame I had
been watching so closely disappeared altogether. I was still terrified, still
listening for the hue and cry I knew must come, but of Marik as a man I thought
no more.

I could not stand still. I wrapped my
cloak close about me and started moving quickly and quietly away west along the
Boundary, away from the camp. Akor’s true name rang in me like a bell on a
winter’s morning, crisp and clear and full of promise, giving me hope through
my fear, but I had to keep moving. Perhaps I imagined it—I was some long way
from the camp, after all—but I thought I began to hear voices crying out in the
distance. As I walked in the shadows and prayed for Akor to find me, the last
light of the sun lay bright on the lands about me, a gentle end to the day as
the world knew it, and I could barely understand how it could be so
unconcerned. The light turned the very air golden, granting a last warming glow
to the ill-dressed trees and lending even the fading grass a memory of summer
splendour. I wanted storms, or a mist to hide me, something as violent as the
fear and loathing that had gripped me, but the day ended in calm beauty,
ignoring me entirely. I could hardly bear it.

Akhor

The startling thing was that I could
feel her approach. The thoughts of her heart were often easy for me to read,
but I had not known that kind of bond since I was a youngling first learning to
screen out the hearts and minds of others. I heard her say my true name somehow
(not in the Language of Truth, but something akin). From that moment I felt her
every step, I could very nearly see out of her eyes, and most certainly I felt
her fear. I even saw briefly the image of the one she had warned us against.

I called to her, close focussed, in
truespeech. She was startled but pleased.
“Yes my friend?
more
than friend dear one
\oh dear Lady what am I to do?\ “.

“Say nothing more, keep silent
Lanen for our friendship’s sake!”

Shikrar at least had surely heard.
Where to go?

“I know not where you are, but
can you find the place of Summoning the Merchants use? It is some way west and
north of where we have been meeting. You will know it easily, there is a narrow
way with a gate. Pass into the small space that extends a little into the
trees; I shall await You.

“And now, little sister, I must
ask you to do something very difficult. You must see a small opening, no larger
than your hand can make, and send through it to me only those thoughts we may
allow Shikrar to hear. You must give me your thanks for telling you of
tomorrow’s Council meeting, and that you will wait our decision. Clear your
mind first of any other thoughts, concentrate, and send those words to me
through that small opening. No larger than it must be, little one.”

I was obscurely disturbed by my
capacity for deception, but I could not allow this one chance to pass by. I
feared the Council would find against me—how could they not?—and I must obey
their commands. What I planned to do this night would frighten most of them,
but I intended to break no more laws. We would speak as we had before. I would
not place my Kindred in danger, and though I would not be so secretive as
Shikrar would have me, I would keep such barriers of Discipline about me as I
must for the safety of my people.