Languish for you (My soulmate) (21 page)

“What else should I know about myself?”

“That it is your turn to tell me about yourself, Trinity. You are a riddle to us, driving us crazy.”

“Well, I should correct you. It is you, who are driving me crazy. Really, show me a person who would like to be killed, wake up in the coffin and love his cousin.”

He sipped his tea again, not hiding his smile on his face. This situation amused him while it was scaring me. Not to mention that on the top of all this, was my strange pull to Christopher. Yea, I was in deep shit.

“Yes, I think you wouldn't have ever thought to write down anything like this, but, Trinity, it is your reality. That is why we are feared that the hunters could be interested in you more that in other souls.”

“Well, I am interested in them too, right now.”

He understood that I was just joking.

“Next weekend there will be a fund-raiser. I would like to see you there with your soulmate. And of course, with your protector and tutor. I will send invitations to your home.”

“You are good at changing the topic,” I said.

“Well, Trinity, we have to make sure that you are safe.”

“By saying safe, you mean to have sex with my cousin?” I asked in calm voice. It was strange how that fact didn't color my cheeks in red.

“Yes, “ he nodded seriously. “We don't want to risk your safety. If it be needed, we will force you ourselves to spread your legs widely and have him in your body that your souls could be connected once and for all.”

My eyes almost dropped from my eyeholes. Would they really do that? The idea of that stopped my heart in my chest. I really couldn't understand why I was so special for them, because I didn't feel special at all.

“I see you don't like that idea,” he put his cup on the table. “But that is the truth. We don't know who you are for real and we don't want to risk. So, we will do what it needs for you to be a healthy soul. You need to connect with Tobias. Maybe then many questions will be answered.”

I doubted that, but I didn't say that out loud. Now I wanted myself to know who I really was. And how it seemed, I would have to find that out on myself, because no one knew the answer to that.

“And what if I struggle. What if I decide to kill myself?” I was testing really dangerous waters. I knew that, but also I didn't care. What could they do to me here now?

He grinned.

“I know you had thoughts about suicide, but you were too weak to kill yourself. So, why do you think this time would be different?”

Because I am not that girl anymore, I said in my mind.

“Trinity, sometimes there are things from which we can't run away. The only way to solve them, is to face them with a smile.”

I looked at my hands on my lap. His words were so familiar to me. Maybe because I used them in one of my stories?

He knew so much about me that it scared me. He was using my own words to give me courage and hope.
He was a c
lever bastard.

“But there are also some of them which have to be greeted with a sword,“ I lifted my eyes to meet his.

He nodded his head to one side.

“Maybe we should give you a sword. What do you think about that?”

“What kind of sword?”

“A real one. You know, we have many theories of who you could be,” I waited patiently for him to continue. But he didn't hurry to do that. He took a cookie and slowly ate it. “We think that you could be a solution, how to destroy the hunters.”

I burst out laughing. Me, killing someone? I was a vegetarian, for God's sake. But Eduard didn't laugh and soon I stopped. Some seconds I just stared at him, trying to find something what could tell me that he was joking. But no, he was serious. That solemn face was really telling me that they thought that I will destroy the hunters.

“You are hallucinating if you think that I could kill someone.”

“Yes, that could be a problem. But we think we could solve it. You just need to understand the importance of your destiny.”

I opened my mouth. My destiny. That sounded so nice in my stories. But that was all, stories. Nothing more and nothing else. This... this was painful reality.

“It's a theory,” I heard myself saying. “I won't kill anyone. If you want a killer, there are a lot of people, who were actually trained for that. I am not a fighter. I am a writer. The only weapons I hold are a pen and a paper.”

“For now it would be enough,” he pull a catlike smile on his face.

I rolled my eyes.

“I need to go,” I said as I stood up.

“So, I see you have all answers to your questions. That's good,” he didn't stand up.

“And more,” I said in horror.

“Yes,” he nodded. “I have heard that sex is really a worth thing to try.”

I hugged myself. Now the idea of making love with Tobias didn't seem so exciting for me anymore. I even doubted if I could ever jump with him on the bed.

I walked out, leaving Eduard alone with his own horrible thoughts and plans. One thing I could promise him, I won't do what I didn't want to.

Chapter seventeen

In my stories I always tried to teach my characters to find out what kind of motives every side had. Maybe one was lying to you, trying to convince you that they were fighting for true and beauty, although they hated those things and did everything what was in their power to destroy them. So, I needed to have a little chat with the hunters themselves before I could really understand what was happening around me.

Don't trust
anyone that
was my motto and my curse.

I hugged myself firmer and looked up. The sky was dark and ready to greet the night. But I wasn't. I pulled out my phone. One hundred missed calls from Christopher. There were also some messages from Tobias.

Great, I said mentally as I put the phone back to my pocket. Christopher knew that I wasn't at my soulmate's home. I wondered, what would he do to me?

I walked to the nearest U-bahn stop. I didn't want to go home right now, but I needed to talk with my protector and tutor about this thing. They knew who Tobias was and hid the truth from me. I won't forgive the, but I doubted that they even wanted to have my forgiveness. To them I was only a mission. Special mission.

A tear escaped from my eye. I didn't hurry to remove it from my cheek. Before I was killed, I had thought that my life was mess, that I had more problems to solve that I actually could. But know... I knew that those problems were just a child's play.

I sat on the bench, staring at the other side of the stop. Some people were standing there, doing nothing.

The U-bahn came and I walked in it. But in the other stop I got off, because I could see a park. It was stupid idea for me to walk in the park when the night threatened to occupy this world. But I didn't care. I just needed to be somewhere where was a different life.

I sat on the bench in front of a fountain which wasn't working anymore. On the top of it was a lion.
A b
eautiful lion.

I didn't know how long I sat there, just staring at that lion before someone sat on the bench with me.

“What happened?” Christopher asked.

“He is my cousin,” I said in a cold voice, still seeing only that lion.

“Avery and I were guessing when you will find that out.”

“Well, you have the answer to that,” I stood up and walked away from him, deeper into the park and darkness which was the only true friend for me.

“You understand why we couldn't tell you that,” he walked on my left.

I nodded, but that still didn't ease my pain. I was tricked, speculated. In other words, I was a doll in someone's play.

“Where were you?” he asked carefully.

“If you want, I will do what you want from me,” I said instead of answering to his question. “I will have sex with Tobias, connect our souls and so on.”

“What?”

I stopped and turned to face him.

“It's strange when your prey decides to surrender, to do what you want. Right now I am giving you the opportunity to end everything. Tomorrow I will go to Tobias's home, have a nice time. You and Avery will be free to go and do another mission.”

“What got into you?” he asked alarmed.

“All this is pointless,” I said, waving my arms around. “Everything is temporary. And what point is for me to fight? You can bring dead people back to life. You have powers to force me one way or another to do what you want. So, I won't fight. I will do whatever you want.”

“Trinity,” he said my real name, but it didn't have any kind of effect on me. During this time here, in the park, I realized what Eduard maybe wanted me to explain; I was only a figure on the chest board. I could move neither forward nor back without someone pushing me to that side.

“Or maybe I should go right now to his flat. He would be happy to see me.”

“Trinity!” he gripped my arms and shook me a little.

“There is no point in fighting,” I said to him as I locked my eyes with his. “No point.”

“Trinity, what are you talking about? What happened?”

I pulled my arms from his grips and slowly moved back, still not
breaking
our eye contact.

“Only stupid people fight for temporariness.”

“Trinity, you are scaring me,” he confessed.

Seeing concern in his eyes, forced me to stop talking like a lunatic. But it was the truth. But if he didn't want to hear that, I wouldn't mention that again.

“Bring me home, Christopher. Please,” I lifted my hand up. He instantly took it and nodded.

I was in the same dream again, shadows, silhouettes and whispers, pleas to be theirs And when I tried to pull the blindfold again, I was again in my room in cold sweat. Snow was sitting next to me. Her dark eyes strangely glimmering in the darkness.

I turned the light on and scanned my room. I was alone if we didn't mention Snow.

I took several deep breaths before I put my head back on my pillow. But I didn't hurry to close my eyes. I just waited for something. Maybe to understand what I really wanted right now. Yes, I was a toy in someone's hands, but every toy could hurt its master.

Suckers, I said in my mind. Christopher took my bait. So, it was only a matter of time when everyone else would think the same; poor little girl. She would do whatever we liked her to do. Yea, right, I said in my mind.

I turned on my left side and met Snow's dark eyes. One part of me really wanted to give up everything and just be that girl which I pretended to be today in front of Christopher. Unfortunately, there was another part of me which wanted to fight till the death. And what you know, I liked that another part of me more.

Eduard let me feel small and vulnerable. Yes, they had power and knowledge, but they weren't me. They all told me that I was special, so, was planning to be special. Whatever mission my soul had, I wil
l still try to be myself even if
the consequences of it could
make
Tobias alone forever.

Now it was clear
to
me, why Tobias adored his dead cousin so much; because my soul was his soulmate. In the book it would really sound amazing; your soulmate loved you even when you were dead.

“But he is my cousin,” I said to Snow, rubbing her fur. And then I started to think. Really think. Yea, he was my cousin, but he didn't know that. Also, everyone thought I was dead for eighteen years. And cousin...was just a word. My feelings for him could cool off a bit, but they will be still here, in my hear and mind. Who was I to steal my happiness?

Snow mewed and I grinned. Yes, I could let myself be happy. Tobias was the best thing which really had happened to me, the only thing which really let me feel alive and not just frozen in time, seeing things and uncovering hideous truth about people and this planet.

I lifted my head. I knew that the dreamland wouldn't take me back. So, I took my laptop and spent the rest of the night writing. I didn't even notice how time flew by. One second it was still dark and another one it was bright.

Avery was the first to enter into my room. I greeted her with glassy eyes. It was really strange how soon I could pretend to be empty. Maybe it was my secret talent about which I didn't have any idea.

“You seem...”

“What would you like me to do?” I asked. My tone could freeze anything.

“I would like you to tell me where
you were
last night and what happened to you,” she sat on my bed, putting her hand on my leg.

“I met a bodiless,” I decided to tell the truth.

“A bodiless?” she was surprised.

I nodded.

“His name is Eduard,” I continued. “He opened my eyes.”

“Eduard? Opened your eyes? What do you mean by saying that?”

“Tobias is my cousin and my soulmate. One way or another we will do what everyone does who is in love.”

I laughed in my mind. I sounded almost like a robot; without feelings, hopes and desires. I could use to that.