Last Chance Proposal (11 page)

“Let’s get your terror sword, too, and we can show the other kids,” Louis said.

Thundering feet raced through the house and Cy pulled his shoulders back as he rounded the corner.

“Morning.” He was afraid of what she might see in his eyes, but without his sunglasses, he had no choice but to look directly at her and the smile he found almost unbuckled him. Perfect crescents dimpled her cheeks. Why hadn’t he noticed that about her before? His mouth dried as his eyes drifted to hers and the memory of her kissing him and holding him close sent warmth feathering through his veins.

“Hi.” She rubbed the side of her neck.

He took a mouthful of water from the bottle and let the liquid cool every heated part of him. Her reaction was no different to any of the other days she’d stood on his front lawn, as if what they’d shared last night was nothing more than a cup of tea and a cookie between old friends. Man, if only he still felt that way about her. Everything was different now. He’d changed the rules of their agreement.

White shorts outlined her tan legs and a green top hugged her body, revealing the perfect plane of skin below her neck… He dragged the towel across the back of his shoulders.

Louis jumped from the doorway, struck a pose, and thrust out his tongue like a Maori warrior. “Is it okay if Jonty comes to pageant practice?”

Jonty raced back onto the deck, his hat sitting lopsided on his curls. Cy swallowed. “Ah, we’re going… Sure. I guess we can come and watch. Give me a second to rinse off.” He turned to walk up the steps.

“You don’t need to come.” Ellie’s voice was light but distant. He turned back as she swung a bag over her shoulder “It’ll take a while today and I’ve got some sandwiches in here so Jonty can stay with us for lunch. You take a break. I’ll bring him back later.”

All three of them stared at him and the tug-of-war inside reached breaking point. His body wanted more of her and his brain told him to back right off.

He smiled at his son. “I’d prefer to come too if that’s all right. Are you okay with that, Jonty?”

His little boy nodded as he played with the scarf around his neck.

“Perhaps you boys could run along ahead then.” He didn’t need to tell them twice. The boys raced on, kicking up sand behind them.

Ellie pulled the sunglasses from her face. Her caramel eyes drew him in, but tiny lines dug into her forehead. “Is everything all right, Cy?” An uncertain smile traced her lips.

He folded his arms and looked up the beach at the boys. “Sure. Let’s walk.”

The skin between her eyes furrowed deeper but she picked up her bag and started walking. “What’s wrong? Is it about last night?”

Words scooted around his brain, and he fought to get them in the right order. He should probably do this face-to-face but there was something soothing about walking beside her on the beach with the sun on his shoulders, looking straight ahead. “Yes. Last night.” The words came out like speeding bullets. “I don’t think we should let it happen again.”

She stopped for a second but then looked straight ahead and resumed walking.

“When I asked you to come into our lives, it was to help me show I had some stability in my life. What happened last night didn’t feel stable. It felt wild and a little bit out of control. That’s not the way I want to feel right now. I shouldn’t have made love to you.”

“Then why did you?”

He stopped and waited while she turned. “Because I’m selfish. Just as I explained to you yesterday, I’ve always put myself first and if I keep doing that when Jonty needs me, I could lose him.”

“I see.”

“None of this is about you, Ellie. It’s not that I regret what happened last night… God, I feel anything but regret. But I lay awake the rest of the night wondering if things are just too complicated between us now. That maybe Jonty and I shouldn’t just leave. Before you and I get in any deeper, maybe I should take him back to the States and continue this fight on my own.”

The perfect skin on her cheeks sagged the tiniest fraction. “You can’t be serious. After all the progress Jonty has made here in the last two weeks, you’d consider walking away because you don’t know how to deal with what happened between us last night?”

He turned his face away to the gently rolling waves. The strength in her tone galvanized him. “I don’t want anything to jeopardize what we’re going to do. All our energy has to be put into getting Jonty back. There’s no space in my life for anything or anyone but him. Not now. Maybe not ever. I don’t have room in my heart left for anything but my fight to be with my son.”

“And in my deluded, optimistic world I thought you’d changed.” A shadow crossed her face like a storm cloud across the sun.

“What do you mean?”

“I thought you’d learned some things about facing life’s challenges, but I see I was wrong. You’re prepared to use Jonty as an excuse for feelings you’re too scared to look at and you’ll hurt whomever you need to in the process, Jonty included, to make that happen. It would be an enormous mistake to leave now.”

She began to walk. The anger in her tone told him one thing, that he’d hurt her again. For a few moments of pleasure, he’d hurt her. They were silent for a moment, the only sound the scream of a seagull above them and Louis whooping up ahead. Was she right? Was he hurting Jonty, too?

She stopped and turned to face him again. “I told you right from the start that all I could offer you was a year of my life. I don’t want anything from you in return, Cy, and if you think getting custody of Jonty will be compromised by a physical relationship with me, then there won’t be one.”

He stood there, dumbfounded, and watched her walk away. Part of him silently screamed in denial, despite this being what he’d asked for. That part of him wanted it all—Jonty being stable and emotionally healthy, full custody of his son, Ellie in his bed and in his life for good. But she was right, it was past time to stop being selfish and to do what he knew was right, despite the cost to himself.

…

“
So did you manage to get some fresh air last night? Or at least the fresh bit?” Fleur faced the tumble of children onstage but a grin tugged at her mouth as Ellie turned beside her on one of the hard wooden seats in the hall.

A secret, sad heat curled through her as she looked down and dug a needle and thread into the ponga tree costume she was sewing for Jonty. Cy had gone back to the house to make some calls about the wedding, which meant Jonty could be involved in everything.

Fleur twisted to face her and lowered her voice. “When will you tell me what’s going on between you and Cy? There’s more to this engagement than meets the eye, isn’t there?”

The needle pushed through the fabric into the flesh of Ellie’s finger. “Ow!” She trapped the stinging spot in her mouth and sucked off the blood.

Fleur’s eyes narrowed. “Good deflection, but not convincing.” Her sister was silent for a minute as she took a mouthful of tea from the mug in her hands.

“He’s going through a lot, with Jonty, the custody case.” Ellie peered closer at a felt leaf she’d just finished creating.

“Something’s happened, hasn’t it?”

Broad silence hung between them before she turned to her sister. No more half-truths. “Is it that obvious?”

“If I hadn’t been lying awake wondering what was taking you so long at Cy’s, then the wide-eyed look you’ve been wearing all day would’ve given it away.”

Ellie threw her fabulously intuitive sister her warmest smile. “I’m not wide-eyed. And it’s complicated.”

“Isn’t it always?” Fleur huffed out a giggle.

“No, this time it really is.” Ellie smiled softly and stopped her sewing. “Cy and I slept together last night, but it won’t be happening again.”

“Really?” she asked, her head tilted to the side.

Ellie pointed the needle and grinned. “I have weapons.”

“How do you know it won’t happen again?” She wriggled closer.

“Cy’s very focused on Jonty right now, not our pretend engagement. He can’t afford anything to unsettle what they’re about to go through. He’s having second thoughts about getting married.” She forced breeziness into her voice, knowing these were Cy’s words, but she didn’t want her sister to worry.

“Doesn’t that complicate things, though, having made a pass at him? It’s going to be hard pretending for a whole year that it didn’t happen.”

“Cy was my first love. I won’t deny it. And I got my heart broken. I won’t deny that either. But I’ve moved on and…” She paused. “He was never in the same place as me anyway. And I knew what I was doing last night. It’s better that it happened now than when we’re living together.”

Cyndi called the children up onstage and they began to run through the finale. Ellie couldn’t drag her gaze away from the little boy with the golden curls moving to the center of the stage. His scarf was tied around his wrist as usual and her heart swelled with joy.

“Gosh, that little boy’s changed. Remember when he got here and his head was always down and he shuffled his feet?” Fleur lifted the mug to her lips.

“Which is exactly why we can’t let what happened last night happen again. There’s too much at stake.” Ellie laid the costume on her lap and turned to her sister. “Too many emotions tied up and they’re bound to affect Jonty’s progress.”

“That’s all fine and well, but last thing I remember, Cy walked out on you ten years ago and broke your heart. And I hope he hasn’t just replayed his old record. Jonty’s emotions might be important, but so are yours.”

“I was eighteen. Cy’s right in that I needed space to focus on my own family back then, not him. I would’ve had my heart broken no matter who it had been. I know that now.”

Fleur nodded. “But he was with you when William died. She laid her fingers on the bare skin of Ellie’s arm. “Maybe this is what’s happening here. You turning yourself inside out trying to save another little boy.”

“It’s not.” Ellie covered her sister’s hand with her own, her chin lifting. “Truly. I can help Jonty
and
Cy. By doing this one thing, something that doesn’t cost me anything, I can avert this tragedy.”

Fleur’s gaze became more intense. “And if it’s successful and Cy gets his son, what then?”

“Then after a reasonable amount of time—”

“You walk out of Jonty’s life?”

Ellie sighed and nodded. “I know it’s not ideal, but what other option is there? I’ll be a friend to Jonty so I’ll go on seeing him, especially when they come back to the cove for holidays. Like an adopted aunt or something. I can see him as much as I see Louis. The break won’t be sudden and it won’t be permanent. And we can manage it with his therapist.”

“And what about your feelings for Cy and his feelings for you?”

“If I keep my relationship with him as friends, it will guarantee I’m never out of Jonty’s life. Imagine how completely devastating it would be if I started something with Cy and then it all fell to pieces. Then I’d never get to see Jonty again.” She gripped the fabric harder. “And besides, I’m big enough to look after myself.”

Ellie turned back to the stage to focus on the little boy at the center. It sounded hollow even in her own voice, but she wanted to make herself believe this as much as Fleur.

“I’m doing this for a friend who’s done a lot for me and a little boy who deserves to be with his dad.”

No matter what she said out loud, her inner voice spoke a completely different way. She did care. And she did possibly love him all over again…

Chapter Nine

“Crazy, useless…”

Ellie stood at Cy’s back door the morning of the twenty-ninth, ready to knock. Curses followed by a roar of laughter made her hesitate. She hadn’t seen him or Jonty much except for pickups and drop-offs for pageant practice. Cy was busy making wedding and flight plans so he’d been happy for Ellie and Fleur to take Jonty. The distance hurt, but it was for the best. When they went into Auckland today to make more wedding arrangements it would be as friends, the way Ellie wanted it to be from now on.

Cy’s chuckle carried through the door. “What
is
this thing, Jonty? It looks like something from my Nana Doris’s coal range. Like the ones they used in the olden days. I don’t even know which way up it goes.”

She knocked loudly and small feet drummed across the floor.

She grinned at Jonty as he peeked around the door. “Hi, I’m ready to go to Auckland to see Nana Pat.” The smile he aimed back went straight to her heart. He wore nothing but jeans, his little bare-chested torso showing tan lines from his T-shirt. And no scarf. She ruffled his hair as the significance of it burned like the sun in her chest.

She smiled at Jonty and pulled out the squishy bundle she’d been holding behind her back and gave it to him. “This is for you.”

His eyes grew huge as he stood staring at the bright blue-and-green toy pukeko. “I thought you might like to have a pukeko to take to America with you.” She lowered her voice and leaned in to his ear, smelling sunshine and shampoo. “And you can use him when you’re onstage.”

Jonty’s eyebrows shot up and he beamed.

“Hasn’t he got lovely red legs and a beautiful red beak? When we take your chick to the sanctuary before we leave, we’ll see lots of mum and dad pukekos that look just like that.”

Jonty squeezed the toy tight and her heart melted.

She stepped around a suitcase lying on the floor, clothes spilling from its corners. Jonty led her into the kitchen and the second she saw Cy, her pulse spiked. He leaned over a rickety-looking ironing board, an ancient iron in his hand and, if it were humanly possible, looked more handsome than she’d ever seen him before.

He looked up and his gaze danced over her, leaving a flush on her skin. “You look nice,” he said.

“What, this old thing?” She grinned as she smoothed down the black cotton sundress that fitted tight around her waist and fell loose to her knees. “I haven’t seen your mum in ages. I didn’t want to wear my old shorts.”

His eyes softened. “Are you worried about us telling her we’re getting married?”

Ellie dragged her palm across her forehead and dropped her voice. “Do we really have to lie to her as well? Fleur knows the truth and she’s not going to tell anyone. Why don’t we just be honest with your mum? I know she wouldn’t tell anyone if she thought it would affect your chances of being with Jonty.”

He lifted a shoulder and let it drop. “I know she wouldn’t tell anyone, but it wouldn’t be fair to her. She’s in a well- known law firm in Auckland now and if they somehow found out she’d known about something that’s potentially illegal, she could lose her job.”

Ellie nodded. “Okay. I’ll be glad when today’s over, though.” She pointed to the iron. “What on earth is that?”

Cy rolled his eyes. “Good question. I wanted J to wear his dress shirt for when he goes to visit his nana today. I washed it but it looks a bit…”

He held up a bright orange shirt that could’ve been trampled by a herd of water buffalo. He shrugged. “I don’t own an iron. And if I did, it wouldn’t be one of these things. It looks like it’s come from the Bronze Age.”

Ellie winked at Jonty. “It’s a very handsome shirt. I bet Nana Pat will love it.”

Jonty reached into the suitcase, pulled out a T-shirt with a rocket on the front, and held it up. He looked at the orange mess Cy wrestled with and frowned.

“That’s a good T-shirt, too,” Cy said, “but it’ll be nice to look your best for Nan.” He grinned at his son who shrugged and dropped the T-shirt back into the suitcase. “I’m gonna have to learn to iron your clothes for school anyway, J, so I’d better start getting it right.”

Deep, hot pride flared inside her. Wanting to do things right, be a dad to his son in every way, was still new to Cy and he was diving headlong into it. Over the course of these few short weeks he’d become someone so new to her, so determined and focused, so loving and so giving and it made her heart burst.

“Hey, look what you’ve got, J!” Cy said as Jonty squeezed the toy pukeko and it gave a squawk. Cy bent down as Jonty’s mouth blossomed into a grin. “That sure was lovely of Ellie to give him to you.” He smiled at her. “Thank you.” The words wrapped softly around her heart.

“So, what are you up to here?” she asked, trying to regain her composure as she nodded at the ironing board. “I’d like to say I’d help out but that thing looks like it needs a license to drive it.”

“Perseverance, that’s the key.” He stood and put the iron on the fabric. “Go and grab your toiletry bag, J. As soon as I finish this, we’ll be off.”

Jonty and his squawking toy trotted down the hallway and Ellie put her bag on a chair. “What can I do to help?”

Tongue between lips and his focus on the shirt, Cy nodded toward the counter. “Could you tidy the breakfast things? I thought we’d have been ready earlier than this but travel with a six-year-old isn’t straightforward. Who knew you had to pack five toy cars, a terror sword, a skimboard, and a polished paua shell to show your nana?” He lifted his head and grinned. “Thanks for the pukeko.”

She busied herself with the breakfast things. “I thought that giving the real chick up might be tough on him.”

“I hadn’t thought of that.”

“I almost bought one for myself, they’re so cute.” She put the peanut butter in the cupboard. “I bet your mum’s excited about seeing Jonty.”

Cy nodded. “I talked to her last night. She’s over the moon. We’d agreed in the beginning that it was best to not overwhelm Jonty with too many people on this trip. But look how well he’s responded to your family.”

“He’ll sure miss Louis when he goes back to the States.” So would she. But it would all be worth it for Cy to have his son with him always.

Cy tried to smooth the orange fabric under his hand. “I was thinking about that. Arrrgh!” He growled and flipped the shirt over. “What do you think Fleur would say if I flew her and Louis over at the end of next month? We’d be in the middle of the custody case, and it would be a great distraction for Jonty.”

“They’d love it. I don’t think Lou’s ever been on a plane.”

He sent her a smile and nodded. “It would be some company for you in the beginning. I could take Louis skiing, and I’m sure Fleur would love it.”

She smiled at his thoughtfulness.

“And it would look great for the case. Having your sister and nephew there would make everything look more legitimate. As if we were really together.”

Ellie steadied her hand on the counter. Of course that was why he’d do it. For show, just as everything would be from now on. “It’s a fabulous idea,” she managed. “Can I be there when you ask Louis? He’ll go nuts.”

“Ow!” Cy stuck his thumb in his mouth and pulled back a foot as if ready to kick the board. “This is craziness. Maybe we should put Jonty in a T-shirt after all.”

Jonty raced in with another armful of toys. It would be a shame if he didn’t look his best for his nana. “Jonty, reckon you and I could give the ironing a whirl?”

He nodded emphatically as he looked at his dad.

Ellie took off her cardigan and rubbed her hands together. “Right, you go and get me some water in a jug and a little bowl, and we’ll see what we can do.” She stared down at the crumpled material. “I think I can remember how your great Nana Doris used to do it.” She nodded at Cy. “You, Mr. Hathaway, can sit down and watch.”

Cy rolled his eyes and grinned. He put the iron down and dragged up an old cane stool. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you undertake domestic duties, Ms. Jacobs. This should be good.”

She screwed her face into a mock frown and her body relaxed. “Watch and weep at the iron maiden, Mr. Hathaway.”

Jonty came back with the water, and she poured some into the iron and asked him to pour the rest into the bowl. He poked out his little pink tongue, screwed up his forehead, and completed the task without spilling a drop.

“Great job,” she said rubbing his back. “We’ll put the iron up here out of the way while the steam gets started. Now, your Nana Doris used to have an old pop bottle with a little thing on top that sprinkled out water, but I don’t think we’ll find one of those. Let’s try something else. I want you to put some water on your fingers like this.” She dipped her fingers in the bowl and dripped water on the shirt.

Jonty’s eyes widened, then slowly he copied. As soon as he was finished, a broad smile tracked across his face.

“It makes the shirt nice and damp so it’s easier to iron out the wrinkles.” She let her gaze drift to Cy at the table. His stubbled chin was in his hands and he looked more relaxed than she’d ever seen him.

She put her fingers in the water, then turned and flicked them at Cy. “Hey!” he gasped, and his lips lifted in an indignant grin.

In the next moment, Jonty’s hand shot into the bowl. He flicked water at his dad, his eyes as round as dinner plates. Cy lunged forward until his hand was in the bowl, and then he aimed first at Ellie, then Jonty. “So you think I’m all wrinkled, do you?”

“Right,” Ellie yelled. “Come on, Jonty!” She raced into the kitchen, turned on the faucet, and she and Jonty flicked water at Cy.

Cy ducked and dived and grabbed at Jonty, then Ellie, his arm snaking around her body before he drew her to him. Despite the enveloping closeness, Ellie squealed to be let go. Then she saw the glass of water that Cy lifted from the stainless-steel countertop.

“No. Cy, no!” The cool, fresh scent of him seeped into her and she weakened inside his strong hold. “This is the only nice thing I’ve got. Don’t do it! Pleeeeeease!” Squirming, she giggled as the glass got higher and higher. Twisting around she caught the wink Cy threw at his son as the first drops were about to spill over the lip of the glass.

Jonty jumped up and down, clapping his hands, his head bobbing. And then from out of his mouth, like church bells on a summer’s day, came a belly laugh.

Cy stopped, frozen.

Ellie’s heart swelled to bursting. Jonty looked at them, and then he laughed again. Ellie joined in, laughing so hard tears rolled down her cheeks.

She turned to Cy and the look on his face undid her.

His eyes were liquid, his Adam’s apple moving up and down. He shook his head, his hand still gripping the glass.

Instinctively, she curled her fingers around the hand he held rigid by his side. When he looked at her, it was like reaching into her own soul. Every muscle in his face moved with a different emotion—happiness, fear, relief, confusion. Everything passed across his features and with each change he squeezed her fingers tighter.

He let go of her hand, knelt down, and buried his head in Jonty’s curls. Ellie stepped back, the power of what she’d witnessed hovering around her like molten sunlight. Layer by layer, Cy was getting closer and closer to his son. His beautiful little boy was healing. And minute by minute she was starting to wonder if they really needed her anymore.

Quietly she moved into the lounge and picked up the steaming iron, the orange of Jonty’s shirt swimming before her as she tried to squeeze away the tears. As she placed the hot steel onto the damp fabric, she hoped the hiss of steam would drown out the choking sobs that were boiling up from the deepest part of her. When had the minute rolled past—the second—that her connection to Cy changed from helping out a friend to something that had the capacity to hijack her heart?

Later that morning, Ellie stood in the doorway of Cy’s mother’s house as Pat bent down and hugged her grandson tight. “I can’t wait for you to show me everything you got for Christmas, sweetie,” she said to her grandson, “but you’ll be hungry after your drive, so go and see what I’ve laid out for your afternoon tea first.” She gave him another squeeze. “Daddy told me you like the Tiny Teddy biscuits, so I got you some of those.” Jonty threw his pukeko and terror sword on the nearest chair and headed for the kitchen.

“It’s so lovely to see you, Pat.” Ellie stepped into the open arms of Cy’s mother and kissed her cheek. “It’s been such a long time.”

Pat hugged her close, then stood back to look at her, head tilted to the side. “When Cy called to tell me he was bringing you today I still had an image of a skinny girl trying to outdo the boys at surfing.” She grinned and her pale blue eyes sparkled. “He didn’t mention what a beautiful woman you’d become.”

Ellie sensed Cy move closer and when his hand snaked around her waist, all the blood in her body pooled hot beneath his touch.

“That’s because I wanted you to see for yourself, and to see the way we feel about each other.” Cy’s voice was low as he reached down and laced his fingers with hers, then lifted her hand to his lips. “Mum, Ellie and I are getting married.”

“Married?” Pat put a hand to her chest and her mouth fell open. “But I didn’t even know you’d been back in touch with each other.” She gave Cy a playful slap. “Cy, you’re terrible. How could you have kept something so fabulous from me?”

He nestled into Ellie and her knees went weak.

If this were real, she’d lean back into his strong chest, feeling supported and loved.

If this were real, she’d be used to the way the tiny hairs at the back of her neck stood up at the thought of his touch and the way her stomach flipped when he said her name.

If this were real, she’d let herself acknowledge the warmth threading through her body and the extra beat to her heart.

But this wasn’t real. It was a lie that she was as much a part of as he was, and there was no changing it.

“We got back in touch when Ellie sent out the notices about the renovation, so it’s all happened really quickly,” Cy said. “What with having to get back to the States for the custody hearing, we decided to make the most the couple of weeks at the cove, get married next week, then head back to Colorado together.”