Last Chance Proposal (14 page)

His chest hollowed and the air died in his lungs. It wasn’t…was it? He leaned forward, his fingers curling around the edge of his chipped wooden seat. Like a bass drum, his heart beat deep in his throat. There was no mistaking the wideness of those eyes, or the golden curl that peeped from under the leaf-lined headpiece. His lip shook and he squeezed his eyes shut before opening them again.

That was his boy. Jonty Hathaway stood on a stage, thousands of miles from home with no one beside him. A bolt of electricity fired through Cy’s limbs and he shot out of his chair. The silence was broken by people twisting in their seats, shuffling to look at him.

He stared at the stage. What if Jonty was frightened? What if he panicked and no one was there to rescue him?

A smile as big as the Atlantic covered his son’s face as the recorded strains of children singing echoed around the room. “On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a pukeko in a ponga tree.”

Lifting his little arms, Jonty revealed a nest in his fernlike hands and inside was his toy pukeko, its bright red legs stuck out the side. A collective sigh went up from the audience and necks craned to get a better look. Blistering pride filled Cy. Despite everything he’d been through, his son was fighting to find his voice, his place in the world.

Hands touched Cy from both sides, guiding him back into his seat. His nose stung with the effort to keep emotion in, but he continued staring, frightened he’d miss something. When had his son learned all this? When had Jonty found the courage to be on his own and mouthing the words to a crazy Christmas song?

Children’s voices sang with gusto over the sound system. “On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me, two kumara and a pukeko in a ponga tree”
.
Two purple sweet potatoes waddled on to stand beside Jonty, but Cy couldn’t keep his gaze from his incredible little man. His son turned in a ponga-tree pirouette and the audience murmured their approval.

“Isn’t he fantastic?” Fleur whispered. “Look at the little toy pukeko there. Can you believe it? It was all Ellie and Jonty’s idea. She sewed the costume and everything. They’ve been working on it for over a week. They wanted to surprise you.”

Cy couldn’t stop the fat, salty tear that squeezed from his eye and tripped on his cheek.

A miracle had happened. Something incredible had been going on for days and he’d been blind to it. All the hope that he’d kept locked down tight threatened to boil over. How could he ever take Jonty away from here?

“On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me
…
” Jonty looked to the side of the stage and a trio of flax baskets came waltzing on. But something else caught Cy’s eye and he rubbed a hand across his face to clear his vision. Sitting just offstage in the shadows, but with her distinctive dark hair tumbling around her shoulders, was Ellie, clapping her hands. Understanding slapped Cy like a hundred-pound weight and his heart seized in his chest.

She did this for Jonty.

He rubbed his cheek with the back of his hand as Ellie gave Jonty the thumbs-up. His attention darted back to his son singing the next line with the other children. “On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me…”

His chest pounded and a new sensation caused his heart to swell. He loved Ellie Jacobs. For her selflessness, her willingness to fight so hard for what was good. He loved her because she made him believe he could do what was right but would challenge him when he wasn’t. Most of all he loved her for her beautiful, trusting heart and the way she opened it to everyone around her. Including him. He loved Ellie Jacobs, just as he’d feared he would. He loved her and couldn’t bare the thought of living without her.

She’d been prepared to do everything he asked of her, cross the world to help him win his little boy while her own dreams slipped away, and he’d done nothing but think of himself. Even when he’d tried to run because things got too intense between them, she’d found a way to make this happen for his son.

Tears streamed down his face as his shy little boy stood in front of hundreds of people, head held high, lips moving in song. Jonty was healing. All because of Ellie. She’d done for his son what he’d been unable to do for himself all these years. Now he had to find a way to give Ellie something
she
really wanted. He only hoped it wasn’t all way too late.

…

Ellie sat transfixed. She’d hoped and prayed that Jonty could carry this through. To see him standing in front of all those people, a smile blossoming on his face because his father was watching, was incredible.

He danced with the sweet potatoes and the flax baskets, and every now and then he’d look out into the audience and grin even wider.

She followed his gaze out to where Cy sat like a statue in the crowd, not moving a muscle. Spellbound. Light from the stage reflected on his sandy waves and his glowing face. Her heart grew so huge, she thought it would burst. Tears welled. This sweet little boy had slipped under her skin and sailed straight into her heart. Her bottom lip trembled but she trapped it between her teeth and pulled her shoulders back. This was Jonty’s moment, and Cy’s moment, it had nothing to do with her.

So why did her eyes sting and why was her throat closing over? She forced a smile onto her face and drew in ragged air.

Because I love Jonty.

The thought sliced through her. She blinked to keep focused on the stage. She loved him.
This wasn’t supposed to happen.
Seven eels pushed their way past her and wriggled around Jonty. He sang the words along with the rest of the children and swayed his ponga-tree arms. Her heart beat hard in her chest. How proud Cy must be of his darling little boy. She turned to look for him again but his empty chair caused her pulse to dip.

There he was. He’d moved closer and was rubbing the sleeve of his leather jacket across his eyes. How she wished she could be beside him, slip her hand in his and share this incredible moment together.

The feeling cut into her once again. All the questions, the doubts, the indecision of the last week surged within her and climaxed in one pure and simple truth.

She loved Cy.

Sucking in a breath, she clutched her body as her heart swelled to bursting. Of course she loved Cy. She always had. But when you’d lived with this ache for so long, pushed it away, tried to shape it into something else—it was hard to recognize what was left. But it was love. Almost the same as it had always been, but now with a fierce desire, a burning need for him that took her breath away. A mature love about deep understanding and even deeper acceptance. Little by little, truth squeezed past the armor of denial she’d been wearing.

Her fingers twined in her lap and she knotted them together. He’d wanted her as his plastic wife, a stand-in mother and now he was leaving her again because it had all got too hard. Every cell in Ellie’s body screamed at her to run—to get away and let out the choking sob welling from deep inside. But her feet were bolted to the floor, vision hooked by a little boy in a tree costume. Nothing good came from running. She wished with all her heart that Cy knew that.

She
had
to go through with the marriage. For Cy and his remarkable little boy to be together. And she had to get Cy to understand that.

She looked up as Louis took the stage with ten other boys doing the
haka
, their feet stamping in unison on the polished wooden floor. Jonty turned and watched his buddy, no sign of panic on his face and Ellie was so proud of the two of them.

Finally, as twelve girls in
piupiu
skirts joined the throng onstage Ellie’s gaze was drawn to Cy, and she bit her lip at the smile that lit his face. He’d be so excited, so relieved, and so ready to go back to the States and show what he and Jonty had achieved in New Zealand.

When the final curtain dropped, Jonty came running to her, his golden curls bouncing as he pulled off his headdress.

“Oh, sweetie, you were incredible.” Kissing his soft cheek, she breathed in his scent of soap and shampoo. “You were amazing,” she whispered, letting backed-up tears fall. “Wonderful. Listen to all those people still clapping for you.”

With his toy bird tucked under his branch arms, Jonty pulled aside the red velvet curtain and peeked out, eliciting chuckles and more applause from the audience. When he looked back at her his tiny white teeth flashed as his face broke into a grin.

While dozens of children churned around them, she pulled him close again. He wrapped his little arms around her and squeezed tight.

“Jonty.” The deep voice behind her was unmistakable, and Ellie stayed rooted to the spot. She kept her misted gaze on him. If she looked at Cy, she’d unravel.

Jonty bolted into his father’s arms. The stubby branches and green felt leaves stuck into every part of Cy’s body. His father’s head shook and his lips moved at his son’s ear.

“Wow, you were so cool, dude!” A bare-chested Louis, with his
piupiu
and painted face, slapped Jonty on the back. “Is Jonty allowed to come out back and have supper with us, Cy?”

Jonty turned to his father and Cy nodded. “Of course he can.” His voice dipped, then righted itself. “I’ll be there in a minute.”

As the boys ran off, Ellie bent to pick up discarded song sheets. Her head spun and she brushed away tears.

“Ellie. “His voice was sexy low, and she fumbled with the latch of her bag. He placed his hand on the bare skin of her arm. “I had no idea you were doing this with Jonty. It’s incredible.”

She lifted her bag and smoothed her hair over her shoulder. Unable to stifle the pride in her own heart, she smiled at him. “Wasn’t he fantastic? It was all his idea. None of us coaxed him into it.” His touch called her, drew her in, but she reminded herself that this moment was about Cy and his son, not the secret whirl of emotion raging through her.

Stitching a smile to her face, she stepped back. Her heart sprinted. He was going to tell her it wasn’t enough. That despite everything he’d just witnessed, they’d be leaving here without her.

“God, Ellie, what can I say but thank you. For everything you’ve done for Jonty.” His voice splintered. “Do you
know
what that meant to me? Seeing him so independent? So confident? So happy?”

His tone, the way he looked at her… Her heart ran double time, slamming against her breastbone and all she could utter was a choking sob. “Oh, Cy, it’s going to be so hard.”

“What is, Ell?” His voice was husky.

Her throat constricted and tears ran onto her cheek. “Everything.” She dredged a breath. “It’s going to be so hard saying good-bye.” Her hand shook as she swiped hair off her face.

His shoulders straightened and he pulled away slightly, then lifted her chin so he could see into her eyes. “Have you changed your mind?”

Of course not
, her heart screamed.
I love you. You, who needs my name on a marriage license. You, who sees me as a dependable friend. You, who makes love to me like your life depends on it but can offer me nothing more.

She hiccupped as she forced the tears down and blew out a breath. “I haven’t changed my mind. I thought that after yesterday you didn’t want me to come anymore, but I so wanted you to see that with a little time, things can feel good again.”

He reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. “And I’m so glad you made me stay. I wouldn’t have missed this for the world. I can never thank you enough.”

The pain in her chest made Ellie realize she was holding her breath. She had a question to ask and whichever way Cy answered, she knew his reply would devastate her. “You think I can still help you?”

He put a hand on her shoulder and pinned her with his gaze. “Of course I do. I want you to be part of everything now, Ellie. I want to be with you for all the new experiences ahead.”

He went on to say how he was so sorry that he’d gotten angry with her when Jonty ran out, but she hardly heard any of it. While she’d been having her epiphany about how much she loved Cy Hathaway and his son, Cy had been rejoicing in the belief that his plan was finally coming to fruition. He might still want her to come with them, but his feelings for her hadn’t changed.

Callum Brown walked by with his son and Cy touched her arm. “Ellie, I need to do something really quickly. When I get back we’ll go into supper and have the best New Year’s Eve ever.” He excused himself, called out to Callum, and went to talk with his old friend.

As Ellie watched them talking together in the wings, she finally let backed-up tears fall. Tonight had been everything she’d hoped for Jonty. Seeing him with his little chest thrust out so full of self-confidence, the shining glow of pride when he’d come on the stage —it was everything he and Cy deserved, and more. But what had it done for her? It had made her realize that despite everything, she still loved Cy. For the way he loved his friends and family, for the way he could challenge her and make her question some of the tough things she’d believed about herself for so long—like whether she had what it took to love and care as a mother. The way he knew her like no one else ever would. The way she felt in his arms.

Yes, tonight had changed everything in Jonty’s world, and Cy’s, but it had left her with the realization that one year from now, they’d be moving on with their lives and she’d be losing Cy all over again.