Last Night at the Blue Angel (15 page)

They took me as far as Platte City, where I found a Woolworth's and sat down for something to eat. A woman in a sky-blue uniform brought me a glass of water.
You all right?

It's windy out there. I'd like a chocolate malted, if you please
.

She pumped the metal canister up and down under the mint-green mixer with one hand while she took a drag of her cigarette with the other. All of her motions were like worn roads she drove by rote.

The drink's cold sweetness flew right down the middle of my body.

You don't slow down you'll give yourself a headache
, said the man next to me. I never saw him sit down.

He smiled. His blond hair was thickly pomaded, and he had blue eyes that should have been beautiful for the color but wound up just looking cold. He wore a brown suit and tie.

Been out in the sun? A person with your coloring should always wear a hat. Otherwise
,
you just burn and burn. My sister's like that
, he said. He picked up a chicken leg and pulled off most of the flesh with his teeth. I did not believe he had a sister.

You from here?
he asked with his mouth full.

I shook my head.

Yup
,
me neither
, he said.
Passing through
.
Where you headed?

Kansas City
.

Ah
,
me
,
too. The city has it
, he said, pouring salt over his coleslaw.
You driving? Alone?

No
,
I got a ride
.
This far
.

I can take you the rest of the way
. He crunched his slaw.

I'd appreciate it
, I said.
Thank you
.

The waitress tore off my ticket and handed it to me. Blue ink on soft, gray paper. It was mine, that ticket, for what I had. I wanted to save it. I pulled Mr. Miller's envelope from my bag, opened it, and closed it without removing a bill, thinking: Once I use this money, Mr. Miller has won, he's bought me.

I can spot you if you're short
, said the man.

I'm not
.

We better hit the road, then
.

I felt his eyes look me over as we left and walked to his car.

He drove slowly down the highway. The wheat fields seemed to move entirely in one direction and then entirely in another.

So what's in Kansas City?
he said.
A fella?

Yes
.

Lucky fella
.

We drove in silence but not. He hardly moved. The way a dog on the end of a taut leash hardly moves. After some time, he put his hand on my thigh. I didn't do anything but I knew I was in trouble. Had I made some deal with him? He agrees to drive me and I agree to—? My heart banged. There was sweat on his forehead.

When we reached Kansas City, he needed both hands to navigate traffic, so he pulled it away. I'd never seen so many cars, people.

You can just leave me anywhere
.

This isn't some one-horse town. Tell me where to go
, he said.

I pulled out David's card.
Here
.
The Neon Parrot
.

I know the place
. He looked at me again, differently, then turned into an alleyway and threw the car into park. I reached for my door handle but he snagged my arms, turned me, pushed my back against the door. He pulled me toward him by my leg and I kicked. He struck my face, a sudden hot burn near my eye, then he hooked an arm around my hip and pulled me under him. I twisted and bucked under his weight until I was against the door. When I got it open, I fell out backward on to the concrete.

I scrambled to my feet and ran until I was sure he was gone. Folks on the street stared at my face and I stopped a few to ask where the Neon Parrot was but they rushed away from me. Finally a Negro man with a guitar case pointed the way, saying,
Hope you got a friend there. 'Cuz you look a mess
.

CHAPTER 18

T
HE NEON PARROT
was a small storefront, its name written in unlit neon above the door with a green parrot about to land on the
P
. The door was propped open with a brick. I walked in and tried to adjust my eyes to the stale darkness.

Ain't open
, said a woman's singsongy voice in the back.

The lights clicked on. A Negro woman in a blue dress approached me.
We ain't open for hours
.

The door was open
, I said.

On account of this place stinks. Now go on. We'll see you later
. She shooed me like a chicken as she headed for the back of the bar. When she walked, her hips said
look-at-me
,
look-at-me
,
look-at-me
. I told myself to practice walking like that someday.

I'm here to see David
.

She looked at my dress.
You a friend a Davie's?

Yes
, I said, but she noticed my head.

You bleeding!
she said, more disgusted than concerned.

I touched my finger to where it burned.
I fell
.

She walked around to the back of the bar.
Off the turnip truck
, she said under her breath.

I just stood there with my arms at my sides. Because that was it for me. I couldn't go on and couldn't go back. I was at the end of the line and I would stand there all night if I had to.

Come sit down
, she said, shaking her head like now she's got
another
chore.

She dabbed my cut with a damp rag. I held my arms in close to my body, trying to keep my smell from escaping. The aqua sleeves of her dress floated over her skin and she smelled like a gardenia. Her beauty made it hard to breathe like a normal person. She caught me staring at her.
You ever seen a Negro before?

Yes
, I said.

Where?
I could feel her pulling little hairs out of the cut.

Berry Street
, I said.
About five minutes ago
.

She laughed out loud with her perfect teeth.
Oh
,
brother
. Then, as she tried to move some curls off my forehead,
Ain't nobody teach you how to handle this hair?
she asked sweetly.

I shook my head no.

You got more freckles than I ever seen on a woman
, she said.

She put a Band-Aid on my head and touched her finger lightly beneath my eye. I winced. As she stood she continued to inspect me.
Some fall
, she said, squinting.

I looked down.

You gonna lie
,
you ought to improve your skills
.

I looked up at her.
A man offered me a ride in. From the country
.

The country
, she said, raising an eyebrow.
I had no idea
.

I didn't want to go on, so I looked at the bar, damp still from being wiped down.

I'm sorry
,
sugar. So what happened? He just go after you like some dog?

I nodded. She sighed through her nose.

You want a drink
, she asked,
while I'm back here? Fixing to make me one
.

I'll have what you have
, I said.

Of course you will
.

She dropped ice cubes into two short fat glasses, filled them with a slow-moving brown liquid, and watched me drink. It tasted like fire. I tried to hide the surprise, the burn in my throat, the terrible taste.

She held her glass with one hand and smoothed the hair at the back of her neck with the other. I had a feeling that was what she did when she was thinking.

You'll learn to sort them out
, she said.
Soon enough
.

Sort what?

The men. The dogs
, she said.
They show you what they are first thing they do if you know how to look
.

Okay
.

Okay
, she said, mimicking me a little.
How old are you? And please don't make me watch you trying to lie again
.

Seventeen
.

Oh
,
brother
.

And then a sudden shadow at the door. David.

What do we have here?
he said.

See for yourself
, said the woman.

I got up and faced him, tried to stand straight and to breathe, but I felt strange, like I was standing on a stage and the curtains began to close.

Ragamuffin?
he said. The last thing I remember was him walking toward me as the curtains closed all the way.

A few minutes later I opened my eyes to find myself looking up at David and the beautiful woman, both squatting beside me.

Don't know exactly what happened
. . . the woman was saying.

My first thought was, What happened?, and my second thought was, David doesn't know yet. About Laura. About home. I sat up. Why would he?

Take it easy there
,
doll
, he said.

I'm okay
.

He kept his arm around me.
So what are you doing on my floor?

It's a long story
, I told him.

Would you mind taking her upstairs
,
Miss Elaine? Give her something to eat
,
set her up on the davenport?

They helped me to my feet. I followed Miss Elaine. She stopped, turned around, and said to David,
So how'd we do last night?

David shook his head, like last night was bad news.

God damn it
, she said to herself as we climbed a dark narrow staircase near the back of the bar.

The door at the top of the stairs opened to a long room with windows on either end. A woman in a silk robe was pinning dollar bills to a laundry line strung from one end of the apartment to the other. The room smelled of mildew and smoke. The woman took the cigarette out of her mouth and said,
What on earth?! Elaine!

Don't shoot the messenger
, Elaine said, her hands raised.
She's some friend of Davie's. And she needs a little rest. Sit down here
,
sugar
, she said, patting the davenport. I sat.

She's all yours
, Elaine said, walking to the door.

The blonde walked to me, her heels tapping. She studied me, held her cigarette close to her red lips as she brushed a wave of long hair away from her face.

You from Soldier?

Yes
,
ma'am
, I said.

Ooooh
.
Not that
.
Name's Caroline
, she said, extending her hand, her red nails pointing at me.

Naomi
. I couldn't help but glance at the dollar bills drying on the line and the old plaid suitcase sitting on the card table.

This is
. . . she began, pointing at the bills and tilting her head.
This can be explained
.
You hungry?

I nodded again. She went to the little kitchen area, took a few dinner rolls out of the bread box, and brought them to me with a glass of water before she sat beside me.

Honey
,
let's cut to the chase, shall we? I need to ask you something and you'll go on and tell me the truth. Are you and David
. . . She looked at me, expecting me to fill in the sentence on my own.

No
.
Oh
,
heavens no
, I said with my mouth full.

She leaned back.
I didn't think so
, she said, waving her fingers once over my dress.
But God knows with that man
.

I felt my face redden, flattered that she might see me as an actual grown love interest, as a woman at all. David walked in then and sat in front of me, folding his long fingers prayerlike. Caroline went back to the money.

So what are you doing here?
he asked.

You said we could come visit anytime
, I told him.
Laura and I. That day at the house? Remember?

Caroline looked over her shoulder at us, grinned, and clipped another dollar bill.

David leaned back in his chair.
Well
,
sure
,
kid
,
yeah
,
a fella says “come on by” but then to just show up out of the blue
,
well
. . .

I thought he was going to ask me to leave the way he was staring at me, waiting for me to say something that might make sense.

Something happened
, I said.

Caroline stopped with the money and turned to look at me with her hand on her hip.

I need to tell you privately
, I said, glancing at Caroline.

I'll go help Elaine
, she said, irritated.

I told David almost everything. That we borrowed his records. That we were just going to listen to music and then—I watched his face change as the story went on. He winced at the part about his mother.

Laura
.
The perfect child
. He shook his head and leaned forward.
Our pretty little goddamned saint
.
Christ
.

I would like to talk to her
.

Why?
he said.
Honestly
.

I looked at the ceiling. Because I loved her. And because I needed her to either come to me or tell me she didn't love me. Once I was certain, I could proceed with becoming someone new.

To make it right
.

He shook his head.
Now, kid
,
this is a mess here. And Pop? He means business. You don't want to test him. I sure as hell don't. I mean
,
what was your plan
,
doll?

I felt my stomach quiver. Be bigger, I told myself.

What about your folks? They know where you are
,
even?

It had only been a few days and I was trying not to let the sight of them enter my mind, the thought of Papa's coffee cup, Murielle's freckled forearms, the quilt on our bed. It was all too much.

I straightened my back but it didn't work. My throat tightened and the tears came up.

He moved next to me and put his arm around me. I cried on the shoulder of his navy suit. The more I tried not to cry, the more I cried. With my face against his lapel, I realized I'd never been this close to a man before and breathed in deep, trying to identify the smells—smoke and women's perfume, starch and sweat, and something else, something entirely his. His smell was like wind in the house, throwing one door open and slamming another.