It was hard, Kelsi thought, stripping off her bathing suit and rummaging around for something dry to throw on. Her family was gearing up for one of their trademark barbecues, and all she felt like doing was curling up in a ball, missing Bennett, and sulking.
She missed him all the time. She missed his warm, easy presence when she woke up in the morning, and she missed the warmth of his hands on her skin. She missed him every time Taryn told her she was moping, which was about seven times a day. She missed him every time she wanted to tell him something, and had to decide whether it was worth bothering him at work to do so.
Kelsi had never been the clingy type. It was just that during the school year, she and Bennett had spent every
possible second together. It felt so bizarre to be cut off from him now. At least it was just for the summer. Kelsi was practically counting the days until school started again, and things returned to the way they were supposed to be.
Checking the clock on the table between the two twin beds, Kelsi saw that it was six thirty
P.M.
, and Bennett should be wrapping things up at the gallery. He usually had an hour or so to himself before Carlos’s various nighttime activities began. Quickly, she pulled out her phone and pressed his number.
“I’m so glad you called,” he said instead of a hello. His voice was warm and brimming with laughter. “You won’t believe what just happened.”
“Tell me,” Kelsi said, smiling. She lay down on her bed and let his voice flow over her.
“This horrible old woman came in, and was going on about the art she wanted to put on her wall. She wandered all over the gallery, and complained because—and I’m not exaggerating—she didn’t understand why Carlos couldn’t paint something
pretty
.” Bennett laughed. “Can you imagine?”
“That blue-and-cream piece in the entryway is pretty,” Kelsi said, trying to catalog in her head the different canvasses Bennett had shown her. They weren’t all experimental or particularly daring. Some of them really
were
pretty.
“Carlos’s work is a lot of things,” Bennett replied
impatiently. “Important, maybe. Or evocative. But
pretty
? Please. She can go to Bed, Bath & Beyond and get a Monet water-lily print.”
Kelsi let that comment sit there for a moment. She felt kind of hurt, and she wasn’t sure why. It had something to do with that tone Bennett had used. Like she was as
pedestrian
as the still life he had described to Carlos over the phone.
“I just called to say hi,” she said eventually. “I was missing you.”
“I miss you, too,” Bennett said, back to his normal, sweet tone, but Kelsi still felt off-balance.
When she hung up a few minutes later—Bennett had a dinner party to attend and had to run—she felt a good deal more unsettled than she wanted to admit. She wondered if Bennett’s Art Snob persona maybe wasn’t such a joke to him anymore.
Shaking it off—because she could smell the grill firing up—she pulled on a pair of jeans and a high school sweatshirt, and headed outside into the cool evening.
Various Tuttles roamed around the grassy area in the center of the cottages as dusk fell all around them. The littler cousins chased lightning bugs in and out of the darkening woods, the aunts sat and sipped wine and ate cheese from a round wooden platter, while Kelsi’s dad was busily flipping burgers and telling lies to Kelsi’s uncles about his latest deep-sea fishing trip.
It was a perfect family scene, and Kelsi knew that she should enjoy being a part of it, but instead, she found herself feeling sort of empty. She wondered if it was the phone conversation—as if maybe she knew, deep down, that things with Bennett were changing.
Or maybe, she thought with a rueful smile at her own drama, she was just having a blood-sugar crash, and should get some dinner.
After coaxing her father to grill her a veggie burger, Kelsi headed toward the picnic tables. At one, Ella and Jeremy were talking animatedly with Beth, George, and a freckled, athletic-looking boy whom Kelsi didn’t recognize. Kelsi smiled at them as she passed, and then sat down at the next table with Jamie and Taryn.
“I know I’ve been in my own world since I got back from my last New York trip,” she said by way of a greeting, “but I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen that guy before. Have I?”
“His name is Jimmy, and he’s Beth’s new person,” Jamie explained, her green eyes dancing. “Apparently, they’ve been running in the mornings, which is like flowers and dinner dates in
Beth’s
world.” She leaned in close. “And George is here as an honorary Tuttle, thanks to Beth’s dad, who ran into him yesterday. Except Beth said that he’s not pining or anything because he met some chick who’s also going to school in Pittsburgh this fall, who seems nice, who she thinks he might be dating. Beth and George are moving on
together
, it seems.”
Finished with that involved summary, Jamie proudly sat back and popped a carrot into her mouth. Kelsi looked over to the other table.
Ella and Jeremy looked to be in high spirits, as Ella told some tale to Beth’s new guy, one that involved lots of hand gestures. But the new guy kept glancing over at Beth and George. They were talking to each other, with George tapping out points on the wooden table, like he was either drumming or giving a presentation.
“Yikes,” Kelsi murmured.
“Exactly,” Taryn agreed, snorting with laughter. The only other person who snorted when she laughed was Ella, Kelsi thought, which made her love the both of them even more.
“Maybe not
yikes
, exactly,” Jamie said, frowning slightly. She shrugged. “I’ve always loved George. I think it’s really cool that they’re trying so hard to be friends.”
“Has that ever worked, though?” Kelsi asked. She remembered how insanely in love George and Beth had been, and how badly they’d hurt each other. “In, like, all of human history?”
“I can’t even watch,” Taryn told Kelsi. “It makes my head hurt.”
Kelsi tore her gaze away from what she was certain was the impending catastrophe at the next table, and focused on Jamie instead.
“I’m so excited that you’re going to Amherst!” Kelsi told
her cousin. “Bennett’s already promised to give you the full rundown on campus life. Taryn and I are always there, and we’ll get to hang out all the time. Next year is going to be amazing!”
“I love Northampton,” Taryn chimed in. “It’s this totally crunchy but hip little town, with zillions of bookstores and thrift shops and cafés. It’s such a great place to live. You’ll definitely love it.”
But Kelsi noticed Jamie didn’t respond. “I’m so hungry,” she said eventually. “I’m going to go grab some more of my mom’s Caesar salad. Do either of you want anything?”
Neither one of them did, because they were both stunned and staring at her, so Jamie got up and hurried away.
“Um, that was weird, right?” Taryn asked when Jamie was out of earshot. “She totally didn’t want to talk about school. I figured she’d be so excited about Northampton that she’d consider transferring to Smith, to be honest.”
“Yeah…” Kelsi frowned after her cousin. “I don’t know what’s up with her. She’s the most driven one of all of the cousins. She usually can’t shut up about how great Amherst is and how psyched she is to be going there.”
“Maybe she’s freaking out,” Taryn said with a shrug. “Remember how scared we were at the beginning of the year?” What Kelsi remembered was that
she
had felt terrified, while Taryn had seemed in her element, but she opted not to say anything.
“Yeah, but Jamie spent all last summer there,” Kelsi said instead. “There’s no fear of the unknown—she’s already done it!”
“Then, clearly, she’s just weird,” Taryn concluded with a wink, making them both crack up.
The night darkened around them, and they lit citronella candles in the center of the picnic table to keep the mosquitoes at bay. Kelsi loved the tangy smell of the candles, and she stared into the center of the flame, while above them the night sky was a dark blue fading to black.
“Did you talk to Bennett today?” Kelsi asked Taryn when they were picking at fresh berries and debating about making vegan s’mores over the fire.
Taryn shook her head. “He’s always so busy,” she said. “Running around for that guy. Why, what’s up?”
“Nothing.” Kelsi sighed. “I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like maybe New York isn’t the best thing that ever happened to him, after all.”
Taryn frowned. She looked impatient for a moment or maybe Kelsi just imagined it, because her face cleared.
“Are you kidding?” she asked. “Maybe he didn’t tell you this, but he’s been obsessed with Carlos Delgado since he was, like, nine. I mean, total hero worship. This is a fantasy come true for him.”
“I know, and I think it’s amazing for his career
and
his art,” Kelsi said quickly.
“This is his dream, Kelsi,” Taryn said. She looked confused, and taken aback. “I thought you understood that.”
“I do,” Kelsi said, feeling like the conversation had completely gotten away from her. “That’s not what I meant at all.”
But she didn’t know how to explain what she meant. She didn’t know how to talk about her boyfriend to her best friend, when the boyfriend in question was her best friend’s brother, and Taryn was clearly feeling protective. And Kelsi knew why: Taryn had confided that she had spent years running interference with high school girlfriends of Bennett’s who had tried to get to him through her. Kelsi understood.
But it made her feel so alone.
Taryn decided to get the stuff to make s’mores then, and Kelsi sat solo at the picnic table, inhaling citronella fumes and mentally kicking herself.
How was Taryn supposed to respond? Bennett was her brother. The fact that she and Kelsi were best friends just made moments like this incredibly awkward.
Because while Kelsi knew what a huge opportunity working with Carlos was for Bennett, she wasn’t sure it was the best thing for
him
. Like, for his
character
. Tonight wasn’t the first time she’d thought he was becoming kind of snobbish about art. She would have thought that the generous, enthusiastic guy she knew so well would have welcomed the opportunity to find
something pretty
for a nice old lady, instead of mocking her.
Her phone vibrated in her pocket, and she pulled it out. It was a text message from Bennett:
SORRY, BAD DAY, LOVE U.
And just like that, Kelsi’s entire mood lifted.
How pathetic,
she thought. She should be ashamed of herself for being such a
girl.
But she couldn’t deny the flush of happiness that washed through her, altering the whole night around her. She couldn’t deny that just hearing from him when she didn’t expect to made everything seem better. So what if it was pathetic—it was also true.
She vowed to be more supportive and less judgmental.
It was only a summer, after all.
Only a summer
, Kelsi thought,
and it’s halfway over already.
“You better save me some marshmallows!” she called across the clearing to Taryn, and found she was all but skipping as she got up and headed toward her friend.
The first step was to make sure that what she thought was happening was really happening, Ella told herself. There was no point doing anything until she was sure.
After all, Peter was beautiful and smoldering, and he could lure any unsuspecting girl into his little web. Ella knew this better than anyone. It wasn’t so hard to imagine a scenario in which Taryn accidentally got involved with a hot guy one evening, only to discover later that it was
the
hot guy who’d treated Kelsi so badly way back when. In this imagined scenario, Ella found she could give Taryn the benefit of the doubt.
But she knew that was only because she didn’t believe it.
Taryn knew exactly who and what Peter was. Ella was certain of that.
And because Ella was certain, she wanted to be extra careful in proving it. Because she could tell that Kelsi wasn’t going to accept the ugly truth about her supposed best friend without a boatload of evidence.
This was how Ella convinced herself that her only option that Friday night was to follow Taryn.
Kelsi had gone down to New York again, a last-minute trip brought on because Bennett had to cancel coming up once again. Ella didn’t think it was too cool that he kept doing that to Kelsi. She happened to be an expert on the long-distance thing, having first failed at it, and then succeeded at it, all during this past year. With the same person, in fact. One thing she knew: You had to make time for the other person or you could forget about it.
But Kelsi’s long-distance relationship wasn’t really what was occupying her thoughts tonight.
She was determined that tonight she’d figure out what was really going on between Taryn and Peter.
Ella lounged around in the living room in her old Juicy sweats, yawning and reading
Allure
, looking like she planned to spend the night in. She waited until Taryn got the inevitable call on her cell phone. When Taryn started whispering and giggling, and then took the call to the bedroom, Ella
moved herself to the sunporch and changed into something more appropriate for going out—in this case, a denim miniskirt, layered tank tops, and ropes of long beads.
It wasn’t that hard to slip out of the cottage and wait in the shadows by the side of the dirt road. By this point in the summer, Ella knew the whole stretch of that road like the contents of her closet. She could walk it with her eyes closed, which was a good thing, as it was usually far too dark to see anything, anyway.
Soon enough, Ella’s eyes adjusted enough so that when Taryn walked past, she could see her—or enough of her, anyway. Ella would know that saucy little walk anywhere, it annoyed her so much. It was easy enough to follow Taryn, keeping to the shadows and trailing her all the way into town. Ella was grateful her cork-soled wedges were silent on the pebbles.
Once in the village, there were other people around and Ella was able to draw closer to her prey. Taryn was dressed for a party. Her jeans were supertight and low, and her black tube top bared most of her abdomen and all of her shoulders. It was the sort of outfit that
should
have looked cheap and, Ella noted sourly, didn’t look anything but hot on Taryn.
It just made Ella all the more determined to bring her down.
Taryn walked with confidence up to the Lighthouse, the new-ish bar in town that Ella had so far been completely unable to do more than peer into.
Ella waited for the gigantic bouncers to do their job, and deny entry to underage Taryn, but she just flashed an ID and sauntered right in.
Ella gritted her teeth.
Ugh
. It had never occurred to her to get a fake ID. She’d always relied on her charm and the kindness of well-positioned boys.
Ella knew the bouncers were a lost cause, having tried to talk her way past them last summer, so she looked around for other possibilities. It didn’t take long. Around the back of the bar, a guy who looked like a bartender stood next to the propped-open back door, smoking a cigarette. It helped that he was cute, but it didn’t actually matter.
Ella smiled, and made her move.
“Hey there,” she singsonged, swaying her hips as she walked over to him. “What’s going on?”
“Smoke break,” the guy said, and then looked surprised, like he hadn’t meant to say something so obvious.
Ella smiled wider.
“What do you want?” he asked in a gruffer tone, clearly trying to be all tough.
“I want to go inside,” she said, cocking her head to the side. “I want you to let me in.”
He smiled back, as if against his will.
“Now why would I do that?” he asked.
“Because you like me,” Ella suggested, encouraging him to agree with the jut of one hip.
“And what’s in it for me?” he asked after a long moment. But Ella knew she already had him. It was right there in the smile he was trying to hide.
She let her hips roll as she sauntered to the open door, and pulled it open. She stepped close to him, but not too close, and looked up at him through her lashes.
“If you’re nice,” she told him in a low voice, “I’ll let you buy me a drink.”
And then, before he could react, she stepped inside.
Ella was feeling pretty good about herself as she navigated the forbidden zone of the Lighthouse. She figured she probably wouldn’t be back any time soon, so she took a small detour from her Taryn surveillance to check the place out. It was all plush red booths and dark decor, and it made Ella feel like an adult just to be inside. She liked the big, modernist paintings on the walls and the funky music from a DJ spinning in the corner that filled the place with a sexy, underground vibe.
But she could only revel for so long before her mind returned to the purpose of her visit: the treacherous Taryn.
Carefully, Ella made her way through the maze of booths,
making sure that her face stayed largely obscured behind a group of girls here or a big guy there. It helped that the bar was so dark and smoky. Eventually, she found what she was looking for.
Taryn and the horrible—though, tragically, still freaking hot—Peter were sitting entirely too close together in one of the booths near the door. As she glared at them, Ella realized that her stealth was unnecessary, since Taryn hadn’t once looked away from Peter’s face.
Ella remembered exactly how mesmerizing he could be. Those dark, dark eyes and that cocky smile.
Ella couldn’t believe that Taryn would do this to Kelsi. Ella’s outrage simmered near a boil, but she held it in, and simply watched from behind a pillar.
They had a drink. They kept touching each other. They laughed and laughed. Eventually, Peter’s hand disappeared beneath the table, and it didn’t take a lot of imagination to work out where it went. Ella knew exactly what that felt like. She could see those feelings she remembered on Taryn’s face. It was crazy that she was standing here, watching this happen.
Soon after, the happy couple threw some money on the table and headed for the door, with Ella not far behind. They never glanced around. Once outside, they started down the street. Ella danced around the bouncers—hoping they didn’t get too close a look at her—and followed.
About halfway down the street, Peter stopped walking, and pulled Taryn up against the side of a building, at the mouth of an alley. They started kissing, fiercely. They were plastered together. It was hot, and it should have been private. Ella didn’t know whether to stare, scream, or run away.
Taryn’s hands were all over him. His hands were all over her skin, everywhere the flimsy tube top wasn’t. He yanked her up against him and she wrapped her legs around his waist, and still, they didn’t stop kissing.
It was only when they retreated farther into the shadows of the alley that Ella forced herself to turn and run away.
The next day, Ella spent the morning with her cousins on the beach, sunning herself, reading
Vogue
, and fuming.
Taryn joined the group just before lunch, looking sleepy and not at all guilty or ashamed.
Ella had to work overtime not to throw her magazine at Taryn’s head. It was the extra-heavy fall issue, after all, and it might have knocked her out.
“Okay,” Jeremy said, appearing in front of them. “Who’s up for lunch?”
Ella smiled up at him, and let him pull her to her feet. She also let him kiss her a little bit—but not much; she had important things on her mind.
“Let’s go to the Snack Shack,” Beth said, naming the
deliciously greasy snack bar steps from the beach. “I want a big cheeseburger.”
The group headed off to lunch together. Ella laced her fingers with Jeremy’s, and liked the way he squeezed her hand.
“Are you having fun even though Kelsi’s not here?” Beth asked Taryn as they walked.
Ella wondered how concerned Beth would be about Taryn if Beth knew what Taryn was really like. She remembered how cruelly Beth had treated Ella herself in similar circumstances, and pursed her lips.
“Oh, sure,” Taryn said easily. “I’m pretty good at entertaining myself.”
“Like last night,” Ella said, as if agreeing.
Taryn looked at her. Always interested in something gossipy, Ella’s cousins all but perked their ears.
“What happened last night?” Jamie asked, clearly thrilled at the possibility that something scandalous might have occurred. It was the writer in her, Ella knew. She always wanted the story.
“Oh,
I
don’t know,” Ella said casually. She looked at Taryn. “Didn’t you go out?”
“Yeah,” Taryn said, blinking. “I did. This place called the Lighthouse?”
“That new place,” Beth said, nodding. “They have a
tough door policy. I can’t get anywhere near it, unless I want to go there for lunch. And I think all they have then is clam chowder.”
The conversation looked as if it was going to turn into a debate on door policies and New England clam chowder. Ella couldn’t have that.
“Did you go by yourself?” she asked Taryn, with all the feigned innocence in the world.
Taryn looked at Ella again, like she could sense that Ella was after something but wasn’t sure what.
But Ella knew that Taryn knew perfectly well what Ella was after.
“Actually, no,” Taryn said slowly. “I kind of met this guy the other day.”
“Met” was one way to put it, Ella thought.
“Tell us everything!” Jamie demanded, her green eyes sparkling.
“Not much to tell,” Taryn said, and Ella had to suppress a snort. “Just a guy. He’s cute, and kind of funny…”
So,
Ella thought darkly.
That makes it okay to screw over Kelsi, is that it?
“Do we know him?” Ella asked pointedly, trying to sound as if she was just casually interested. “Is he a summer guy or a townie?”
“He’s just a guy,” Taryn said again, her eyes meeting
Ella’s, hard. Then she shook her head. “I’m going to run to the bathroom. I’ll meet you guys over in the food line.”
Because they didn’t know enough to dig deeper, Beth and Jamie easily turned their attention to what they planned to order for lunch.
Jeremy, however, was just frowning at Ella.
“What?” she asked when her cousins had drifted into their preferred line—Jamie went for ice cream, Beth for her burger. “What’s going on?” he asked quietly. “What do you care what that girl is doing?”
“It’s
who
she’s
doing
,” Ella snapped. “We saw them together the other night, remember?”
“I know. I’m not an idiot.” But he smiled at her, and shook his head. “So why do you care that your sister’s roommate is another notch on Peter the Waiter’s bedpost?”
Ella felt her heart catch.
“You know him?”
“Of course I know
of
him,” Jeremy said. He shrugged. “Pebble Beach isn’t that big.”
Jeremy knew Peter.
That was so weird, to think about the possibility of Jeremy knowing things about her before he’d met her, but Ella brushed it away. There were more important things to worry about. Besides, Jeremy couldn’t have known too
much about her or he wouldn’t still be here. She was sure of that.
“Well, Kelsi used to date him,” she said. “I just think it’s really trashy and gross that Taryn would do this to Kelsi.”
“Does Kelsi know about it?”
“Not yet,” Ella said. She made a face. “She’ll be devastated.”
Lowering her voice to a whisper, Ella told him about how she’d followed Taryn the night before, what she’d seen, and how there was no way to pretend it wasn’t happening. Taryn really was doing this to Kelsi.
“Okay.” He cocked his head as his brown eyes searched her face. “But you seem really invested, El. And a little bit insane. I mean, you actually
followed
her? And then
spied
on her?”
It did make her sound like a raving lunatic, actually, when he put it like that.
“I don’t like it when people hurt my sister!” Ella exclaimed, knowing that she was coming off defensively.
“I don’t know. It seems more personal,” Jeremy countered, looking at her quizzically.
“No, it’s just that I…” Ella started, but then she stopped. She couldn’t bring herself to tell him that she had hooked up with Peter after he had just barely broken things off with Kelsi. “It’s nothing,” Ella finished. “I just don’t want
to see Kelsi get hurt, that’s all. Especially by her boyfriend’s sister.”
Jeremy smiled at her for a moment, and then sweetly touched her hand as he got up to get their lunches.
Ella hated lying to Jeremy, but looking at him, she just couldn’t bear to tell him the truth. And between choosing the truth and having Jeremy leave her in disgust or hiding it and dealing with her own angst, Ella chose the latter.
And it nearly broke her heart.